Tag Archives: mental health

Working With Mental Illness

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Working With Mental Illness

Hello!! It is no secret that your girl suffers from her fair share of mental illness. I have PTSD and depression and it can be exhausting to deal with. And, unfortunately, the adulting world doesn’t stand still despite difficult days that feature a “flare up”. I work hard to continue improving upon my situation, but I also use a few pro tips that I have cultivated over the years to make thing easier on myself. With these tools, my days feel more tolerable and I am able to achieve success in my jobs. Let’s discuss:

In terms of my mental illness, my schedule means everything to me. My schedule brings me a lot of comfort because even if the day goes a little haywire, I still have a general idea of what is going to happen next. I try to go to bed, wake up, eat, and take breaks at the same time every day and not only do I keep things running like a fine tuned machine, but I feel less anxiety throughout the work day. Of course, on the weekend, I revel in not having anything to do. But, Monday through Friday – my schedule is god.

Between the medication I’m on and the light buzz of butterflies that is constantly fluttering around in my stomach, my appetite is sometimes not there. I used to follow the rule of not eating if I’m not hungry, but that rule sucks because a few hours later I feel miserable and starving. If you aren’t feeling hungry at your normal mealtimes, try to have just a little something anyways. A light snack can help stimulate your appetite so you can work your way up to a proper meal. Your body and mind need the fuel from food, so eat!

The anxious mind might be telling you to work, work, work, and god help you if you stop: Even if you are feeling off. If you are having a bad day, be gentle with yourself. Give yourself permission to take breaks, self soothe, and return to the task at hand with a clearer head. There’s no gold star for pushing yourself through mental turmoil until you reach a breaking point. Listen to what your mind and body are telling you and respond accordingly. It can also be helpful to talk to yourself like you’re talking to a best friend. You would never tell your BFF that their need for a mental health break isn’t valid.

From one people pleaser to another, there comes a point when you have got to put yourself first. I have personally found that I tend to feel very resentful when I am catering to everyone other than me and that is a terrible way to feel. Part of looking out for you comes with saying “no” to what you don’t want to do – whatever reason that might be. You also have to be firm with your no because that establishes boundaries. This is not to say that you should just not help anyone ever. But, if you feel like you are spiraling and taking on way too much, you need to provide some leniency to your schedule.

Like anyone who is dealing with mental illness on top of all that adulting entails, I have my good and bad days. However, my days definitely feel more stable with the above advice!

Do you give yourself mental health breaks? How do you prioritize your mental health? I want to hear from all of you, so leave me a comment and let’s chat! Much love. -Sarah

Seasonal Friendly Reminders

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Seasonal Friendly Reminders

Howdy!! The holiday season is a joyous time, but there is no denying that is can be highly stressful – especially for those who struggle to feel merry and bright around this time of year. I thought it would be a good idea to discuss some Seasonal Friendly Reminders today to help enhance the holidays for everyone – holly jolly or not. Let’s take a look at a few different ways to do so:

From someone who had an extensive tenure working retail, believe me when I say that holidays can bring out the absolute worst in people. In fact, a vast majority of the most terrible encounters I ever had with customers happened during the holidays. Look, we all get it. The stores are crowded, what you want might not be available, a seasonal employee might make a mistake – but it’s never EVER a reason to be mean to someone. Practice patience and if you can’t, stick to online shopping instead of ruining someone’s day.

There is a preconceived notion that this is the happiest time of the year and that it’s impossible to feel sad during the holidays. FALSE. This can actually be the hardest time of the year for those who have lost a loved one, battle with their mental health, or are suffering from an illness. Or it could be none of the above. Regardless, it is okay to feel sad and if you know someone who might be struggling, comfort them. Comments like “You can’t be sad, it’s Christmas” are not helpful because holidays don’t dictate someone’s happiness. Be there, lend an ear, and choose your words carefully – it could be exactly what that person needs!

Changing is part of what makes us human and we change all of the time whether we realize it or not. Some changes are more obvious than others – new tattoos, piercings, a hair cut, growing your hair, or losing/gaining weight. If whatever change you see in someone is not your personal cup of tea, Do. Not. Comment. On. It. Let’s repeat that: No comment is the best comment! Some of these changes could be a result of trauma or an illness and unless information is volunteered, the best rule of thumb is to please bite your tongue. 🙂

You truly have the power to make or break someone’s day so use it wisely. When all else fails, just be kind. Give a smile, a pleasant word, hold the door open for someone – small gestures like these could turn a bad day into something more tolerable. This really can be a sensitive time of the year so be sensitive of that. Spreading holiday cheer doesn’t have to be a huge production and Random Acts of Kindness do the job just fine!

Honestly, these are all good things to remember no matter the time of the year but it just hits different during the holidays!

Have you worked a seasonal job before? Have you ever had a bad holiday experience? I want to hear from all of you, so leave me a comment and let’s chat! Much love. -Sarah

Ugh Bug

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Ugh Bug

Hello!! I have often found that there comes a point a few times a year where the metaphorical wall has been hit. And, rather than allowing myself to have a break like a rational person, I just keep pushing myself. Then, my body decides for me when it’s time for a reprise lol. This is exactly what happened this past Tuesday. After a strenuous fourteen hour day on Monday, the Ugh Bug hit me and I was down for the count. At least I had some company because Johnny caught it too so we were down for the count together. 😀

On Tuesday morning, I was feeling great. I woke up, took care of the bunnies, showered, and began my normal work routine. Then, literally out of nowhere, everything went horribly wrong. While I was on the phone, I started getting really nauseous. I chalked it up to having too much coffee and switched to sipping on water. Then, as I was back on the phone a few minutes later, it turned into “oh no” and the conversation blessedly ended in time for me to get to the bathroom. Small miracles, people!

This is going to be TMI but guys, I legit erupted like a geyser. Lol, in that moment, I knew it was time to put my pajamas back on and call it a day. In between bathroom breaks, I finished the work I could online and then became one with my couch. I watched Degrassi as well as the new Netflix documentary on JonBenet Ramsey. And, can I please just say, I’m going to solve the damn case myself. I. Need. ANSWERS. But, that’s neither here nor there.

Anywho, Johnny returned home as I laid in my own misery feeling just as awful as I was. In fact, he was probably worse off than me because he was experiencing a fever and chills too. In this case, yes. Misery does love company! After going to bed really early, we both woke up on Wednesday morning feeling about fifty percent better. That’s not good enough to go to work, so as I type this he is playing Call of Duty lol. It feels incredibly weird with us both being home in the middle of the work week but I’m glad we caught the Ugh Bug before the holidays. As I said, small miracles!

In conclusion, if you are feeling rundown: Take it easy or you’re going to end up in this exact same situation!

Do you get sick often? What makes you feel better when you are under the weather? I want to hear from all of you, so leave me a comment and let’s chat! Much love. -Sarah

Holiday Mental Health Reminder

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Holiday Mental Health Reminder

Hello!! We are SO close to Thanksgiving that I can almost taste the green bean casserole (Don’t hate on it!). And, of course, then we enter the whirlwind of the winter holiday season. While this is an incredibly joyous time, it can also be highly stressful and it’s important to put your mental health first. Let’s talk about a few ways that you can ease some of those get together jitters so you can still have the merry and brightest time ever:

Given the current political situation we are in, it’s very likely that politics will be a topic of discussion at your gathering. This can be a blessing if everyone has the same political views but a curse if not! If the attendees are all across the board on their viewpoints, it might be a good idea to set a Ground Rule of not talking about it period. Unless each guest can engage in polite conversation, then it can turn heated very quickly and that is the last thing you want during the holidays!

If your holiday gathering has you feeling overwhelmed, take a break! There’s no rules saying that you can’t and you can excuse yourself without being obvious. No one will think anything of it if you pop into another room to “make a phone call” or you could volunteer to take the family dog out for a quick jaunt. Once you have a few minutes to yourself, you can enter back into the situation feeling refreshed and better able to handle it.

Sometimes the best way to shake off anxiety is to make yourself busy. There is always going to be the need for an extra helping hand during the holidays so be that person. Take drink orders, set the table, assist in the kitchen – you know the old saying about idle hands! Giving yourself a task to focus on could be just what you need if your mind starts to race or you’re feeling triggered.

There is a high probability that there is going to be someone you can’t freaking stand at the gathering. This can create a lot of tension within yourself so try not to let it fester and focus on the positives, instead. Chances are that when you start looking for the positives, there will be a lot of it! There are people you *probably* like there, the food will be banging, or maybe you will play some really fun games. The festivities are not going to last forever so you could be miserable or try to make the most of it for a few hours!

There is this preconceived notion that you are supposed to be happy AF during the holidays and that couldn’t be further from the case. Holidays can be an incredibly difficult time for people and it makes sense if you think about it. If you are feeling that holiday depression kick in, it could be really helpful to talk about it with a loved one or counselor. Then, you can create some strategies to get you through and try to take a bit of joy in the festivities too.

Whatever you are feeling during the holidays, good or bad, is okay! You’re allowed to feel anxious, stressed, and overwhelmed but with these tips I hope you can enjoy the season more fully!

What is your favorite thing about the holidays? What stresses you out during them? I want to hear from all of you, so leave me a comment and let’s chat! Much love. -Sarah

Take It Easier

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Take It Easier

Hello!! The recent election and upcoming holiday season has definitely been causing stress to many, myself included. This time of year often feels like a whirlwind – between wrapping up the calendar year strong at work, shopping for holiday gifts, adjusting to the time change, and attempting to squeeze time in for yourself too. It’s a lot. In fact, I was literally just thinking about how overwhelmed I feel which inspired this post. I came to the conclusion that I need to at least try to Take It Easier and am utilizing the following methods:

One thing that I really struggle with is making time for every single other person and exclude myself. I spend so much time in my own head mentally trying to rearrange my calendar to accommodate to everyone and so be it if I fall by the wayside. The biggest change I have been trying to make is reminding myself constantly that there are only 24 hours in the day. I can’t create more time no matter how much mental Tetris I play with my schedule. With this reminder, I think I have been a lot better about saying no to extra shifts or demands that I am too exhausted to meet. This has been difficult because I am a complete and total people pleaser but I can only do so much and that is okay.

I saw a quote on Facebook that I really liked. It went something or other like this: “If you only had 50% to give today, you still gave it your all”. I’m paraphrasing, but you get the point. Some days, it is just impossible to be firing at 100%. It’s human, so normal, and you shouldn’t beat yourself up about it. As long as you are doing the absolute best you can regardless of being at 100% or not, you still did your best that day – even if you weren’t feeling it.

I don’t know about all of you, but I am very guilty of eating breakfast or lunch while working. Sometimes it’s a necessary evil and you can’t do anything about it. However, if you can, you should utilize your breaks every day because that is what they’re intended for – giving yourself a break. As often as I can throughout the week, I give myself twenty minutes for breakfast and for lunch. During that time, I will watch an episode of Degrassi and get back at it afterwards. I always return to work feeling refreshed from having a little breather. Remember that some days, you might need to give yourself more breaks if you are feeling burnt out and that’s okay too. For example, if I have a particularly long day at the computer, I will break a few times to do some Tai Chi and work out the kinks from sitting in an uncomfortable chair lol.

When you stop spreading yourself so thin, you might face negativity from the people who benefited from it. In the past handful of weeks alone, I have certainly had several guilt trips and it has sucked. I legit felt SO bad about it to the point of almost adding things back into my schedule and running myself ragged. Don’t do this!! If you succumb to guilt trips, you are going to be right back where you started. It might be hard, but be firm when you say no. It will leave no possibility for interpretation and will introduce people to whatever new normal you are trying to create for yourself. If you are getting any guff from anyone, then they might not have your best interests at heart. And, remember, you never, ever have to justify or explain when you’re doing what’s best for you.

I have been trying to decrease my stress and increase time for me these past few weeks and it has been really… stressful lol. The hardest part has definitely been the guilt trips. As I adjust to my new normal, I will continue to use my new mantras and mindset and keep moving forward. It’s the best thing for me and that’s the best!

Would you consider yourself to be a people pleaser? What changes have you made in your life to decrease stress? I want to hear from all of you, so leave me a comment and let’s chat! Much love. -Sarah

So Simple Self Care

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So Simple Self Care

Hello!! Saying that we live in a high stress world is an understatement and it can be hard to shake off problems that are anxiety provoking. I especially find this to be true for myself. I have an extremely demanding schedule, a lot of family responsibilities, and what often feels like minimal to no time for myself. When I do manage to squeeze in “me time”, I take it very seriously because it’s something that doesn’t happen frequently. That is my time to fully dive into self care mode and even though the way I choose to spend that time is simple, I always end up feeling refreshed afterwards:

My first order of business when it comes to self care is to put my phone somewhere I won’t see it. Out of sight, out of mind. As the social media manager for one of Ohio’s most prominent local celebrities, I am on my phone constantly and it always feels good to take a much needed break from it. Then, I can focus my attention completely on something else instead – even if it’s only watching a quick episode of a comfort show or polishing off a chapter in a book.

This is a method that I employ not just during speedy self care sessions but also when I am officially off the clock for the day. I think it is so easy to fall into the trap of being accessible whenever your phone pings simply because it’s right there. This can be incredibly draining and my rule of thumb is to save responses for times that aren’t dedicated to relaxing. Of course, emergencies are a different situation but you get the point.

I recently started doing Tai Chi with my mom and I absolutely LOVE it. It’s a gentle workout, yes, but the gentle movements are so effective. I can literally feel my body unlocking as we flow through the routine together and it’s almost like a mini massage. I spend countless hours at my computer every day and I can definitely tell that I feel less stiff since incorporating Tai Chi into my schedule. In fact, now when I have an all day computer day, I pencil in a few Tai Chi blocks for when I start feeling crampy. It has made a world of difference!

One change that I have added in the past few months is making breakfast every day. I used to be one of those people who NEVER would eat breakfast and now that it is a regular part of my routine, I genuinely don’t know why I didn’t start this earlier. After a few hours of work, I’ll prepare my breakfast once I get hungry and eat while watching an episode of Degrassi. I have found that I feel way less sluggish throughout the day, I don’t feel ravenous when it’s time for lunch or dinner, and have more motivation to take on the day as best as I can. I guess breakfast really is the most important meal of the day. 🙂

I am the proudest bunny mom to my sweet Melvin and Penelope and they truly are my instant serotonin boosters. Seriously, all I have to do is look at them and it automatically makes me smile from ear to ear. The power of the love between pets and the owners knows no bounds and I often spend my mini self care breaks with the buns. I’ll sit on the floor and give them ALL of the pets and cuddles that they will allow. After a few minutes, they have typically had their fill of affection and that’s fine. I always return back to my computer chair with the warm fuzzies and actual fuzzies – the bunnies shed like crazy!

While I value my more extravagant forms of self care like a trip to the hair or nail salon, they don’t happen all of the time. These mini self care breaks throughout the work day are small and simple enough that I can still accomplish everything I need and feel more refreshed while doing so!

What do you do for self care? How do you like to unwind after work? I want to hear from all of you, so leave me a comment and let’s chat! Much love. -Sarah

Make Your 19 Year Old Self Proud

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Make Your 19 Year Old Self Proud

Hello!! Earlier this week I had the really cool opportunity to facilitate and create a presentation for my boss, Tim, at Kent State University. It was an amazing project to sink my teeth into and I loved joining Tim on campus for his talk. We had the best time! After the presentation, we had a Q&A session followed by a meet and greet. As the students waited in line for me to take their pictures, a gaggle of freshman and sophomore girls were patiently waiting on deck. They were the absolute cutest.

Once they got closer to me, they approached and sung the praises of my outfit (Peep that later!) and asked questions about how I got started with my job. They told me they were eighteen and nineteen and were simply shook when I told them I was thirty! I have got to admit, talking to these teenagers made me feel insanely old lol but I was delighted by the encounter. I am very rarely around people that age and the fact that they thought I was some semblance of cool made me feel… Well, cool.

As I drove home, I thought about my nineteen year old self. I was insanely depressed, engaged in self harm and an eating disorder, and everything sucked. I was working a crappy job in the mall, had no goals, and no sense of self worth whatsoever. Then, I flash forwarded to my life as a thirty year old. I have the best jobs, best friends, best family, and am so happily married. If you would have told me that as a nineteen year old, I wouldn’t have even been able to fathom it.

It took me a long time of struggling with my mental health to get myself to a good place and it was far from easy. The girls I met were none the wiser to any of this and were able to see me as a confident and stylish woman. After our brief meeting, I came to the conclusion that my nineteen year old self would have looked up to who I am now too. This was a very fulfilling feeling because I associate that period in my life with a lot of shame. I was now able to give my young self credit as a kid who was trying her best and I know for a fact she would be proud of who I am today!

Sometimes the smallest encounters are the most meaningful and this one gave me the opportunity to see how far I have come. I am so grateful for it!

What were you like as a teenager? Who do you look up to? I want to hear from all of you, so leave me a comment and let’s chat! Much love. -Sarah

Super Casual OOTD Bloopers

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Super Casual OOTD Bloopers

Hello everyone and welcome to the blooper reel to my Super Casual OOTD! Thankfully, Johnny and I took these pictures before leaving for our niece’s second birthday party and not after. Not five minutes into the gathering, I spilled juice on my shirt. This is absolutely TMI but I had to walk around the party looking like I was lactating for two hours lol SMH. Despite this faux pas, a wonderful time was had by all and hopefully my boob stain wasn’t too noticeable! And, of course, the pics we are about to see are nothing short of a faux pas too. Check it out:

A sultry gaze just for you

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A hot new look called “Demonic Possession”

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Wait for it…..

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ACHOOO!

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Dude, where’s my car?

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I LOOK GREAT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

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As summer draws to a close, I realize that I did not achieve a stereotypical “bikini body” this year. Or any year, as a matter of fact lol. This is okay because a true bikini body is just a body in a bikini. However, I have to admit that when I wore the crop top above, I was a bit self conscious. My tummy is far from perfectly flat and I am perfectly aware of it. I guess I was just a little more aware of it that particular day. But you know what I did? I wore the crop top anyways! Because at the end of the day, who cares? I still felt good in the top and that was all that mattered to me.

While I contemplated my belly, I thought about how different my body is as a thirty year old woman as opposed to when I was twenty. Was my stomach flatter back in the day? Absolutely. But bodies change and gaining some extra pounds comes with aging. I also considered my activity throughout the week. I have an incredibly strenuous work schedule and I try to go for a walk or hike at least four days a week. I asked myself if after all of that, did I really want to work out once I’m home from work and the resounding answer was a HARD NO!

During my whirlwind body thoughts, I came to the conclusion that I am happy with how I look and that is a beautiful place to be. Yes, I did initially feel self conscious in the top. But, I thought about it carefully and weighed my options. With that, I decided that there is nothing more for me to do than wear whatever I want, when I want. It was a liberating feeling and when I was done having my think session, I felt much better than I did before. And, when next summer rolls around, my bikini body will be ready. All I need to do is add a bikini. 🙂

Feeling self conscious happens to the best of us, but you have the Lil Red Guarantee that you look amazing just the way you are! ❤

What is something you feel self conscious about? What do you do to feel better about it? I want to hear from all of you, so leave me a comment and let’s chat! Much love. -Sarah

Decision Making 101

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Decision Making 101

Howdy!! I don’t know about all of you, but I have a very difficult time making decisions. I stress, ruminate, and let anxiety build up until I just keep doing the same thing without making any changes. It’s understandable – any kind of change can be scary and I find a lot of comfort in the same old, same old. This past week, however, I had to make some really big work related decisions and it sucked lol. I am pleased to report that I made it through on the other side. I’d be a liar if I said I wasn’t still feeling some residual stress about it, but I know that I will feel much better in time. These are some of the things that helped me as I made choices and maybe they will help you too:

If you’re like me and simply the thought of major changes puts you into a tailspin, then first and foremost, you need to chill. Sound decisions can’t be made when you are in distress so try and relax. Take deep breaths, sip a cup of tea, or have a hot shower. Whatever you need to do to put you in a calmer state of mind. Then, you can revisit the decision that needs made when you are feeling less frazzled.

The most common way to make choices is to weigh the pros and cons and there is a reason for it – it is always effective. Grab a pen and paper, pull up a notepad on your phone, or type on the computer and start thinking about the good and bad that could come with each option. It will be so helpful to see your thoughts right in front of you rather than let them swirl around your head. Your initial pros and cons might be subject to change so don’t make a split decision immediately. Give it a day or two, revisit it, and see if anything or nothing needs reevaluated.

There is a high chance that whatever you are struggling to decide might effect other people. This can throw a huge monkey wrench in the process because, of course, we don’t want choices to negatively impact others. This is where I have the most difficult time and often just resort to doing the same thing. However, you need to think about yourself. Sometimes, what’s best for you isn’t best for the people that it might effect and that’s okay. Yes, you read that right: It’s okay. Doing for you isn’t always easy, but it’s necessary if you want to keep moving forward in a positive trajectory.

Maybe you have weighed your pros and cons and are still nowhere closer to a decision. If that is the case, think about your gut, heart, and mind. This is what it ultimately boiled down to as I made my work related choice. I knew exactly what I wanted and I had a hard time working up the nerve to just do it. Listen to yourself and what your body is telling you. The answers you need are all there so don’t swamp yourself down with the “what ifs” or you might end up getting stuck. I admit that I was stuck for over a month until I was able to do what I needed to do for me. All it did was cause me more stress as the situation festered in my head and that could have been easily avoided. Changes take time, though, and if you need extra time that is totally fine but it might make making the choice even harder if you drag it out.

I feel good about the decision I made because I know it will be good for me, even if it doesn’t feel that way right now. I also feel like I have a better grasp on making choices for the next time a situation arises – hopefully!

How do you make decisions? What is something you struggle with? I want to hear from all of you, so leave me a comment and let’s chat! Much love. -Sarah

Spring Flowers

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Spring Flowers

Howdy!! One of my favorite times of the year is right now. Winter is almost over, the promise of spring is so close, and it feels like anything is possible. The thing I look forward to the most is seeing spring flowers begin to pop up because it just makes me happy. After the grey, snowy days of winter, there is nothing better than seeing beautiful blooms and spring flowers are some of my favorites too. Daffodils, crocuses, and hyacinths brighten my day and I always try to take a moment to appreciate them. This past week, I was thrilled to see yellow daffodils in my parents’ yard – even though it was snowing!

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Last week was a bit of a doozy for yours truly. I, unfortunately, had to stop going to therapy because mine and Johnny’s insurance is garbage. As you can imagine, this was really disappointing for me. It felt like I had literally just found a therapist I was comfortable with and then it got taken away. However, there wasn’t anything I could do after paying over seven hundred dollars in under one month. And, on top of that, my beloved Little Red Love Machine started making some crazayyyy noises so it was an expensive repair on top of the medical expenses. Talk about stressful!

As I left my mom and dad’s house feeling not my best, I noticed the daffodils in the yard and couldn’t believe I didn’t see them on my way in. I guess I had my blinders on! Instead of getting in my car and going straight home, I took some time standing as the snow fell to take it in. Even though the flowers were getting snowed on, they were still adding gorgeous color to the world. It was a nice metaphor for what I was going through in that immediate moment. Despite feeling sad, I can still do my best to continue to shine and that made the situation a bit more bearable. ❤

Spring Flowers are short lived and I am glad that I took those extra moments to let that fleeting beauty sink in. I needed some daffodils that day and I left chez parents feeling better than I did before.

What is your favorite flower? What is your favorite time of the year? I want to hear from all of you, so leave me a comment and let’s chat! Much love. -Sarah