Tag Archives: mind

3 Tips For Managing Social Anxiety

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3 Tips For Managing Social Anxiety

Social anxiety is an increasingly prevalent problem for many people around the world. If you find yourself feeling anxious when meeting new people, spending time in large groups, or even one-on-one, you definitely are not alone. Since the coronavirus pandemic swept the world last year, social interaction became even more digital than it was before. For young people, especially, this has only extrapolated any social anxiety they experienced before the pandemic.

Dealing with social anxiety is very challenging, but it doesn’t have to ruin your life. Life is too short to live with anxiety symptoms. Here are three tips for managing social anxiety:

Confide in a close friend and stick with them:

If you are going to an event where you are likely to experience anxiety symptoms, it’s time to buddy up. Make sure to take a close friend with you who knows about the way you feel in social situations. This will improve the situation in many ways, simply because you can confide in them if you begin to feel anxious.

With your buddy by your side, you can take small breaks by stepping outside and talking through how you feel. You can even leave the event with your friend taking care of you, to ensure you get home safely if things get too much. Everything is achievable if you work as a team – so make sure to confide in a close friend about the way you feel. Anxiety is nothing to be ashamed of and you deserve to feel supported in difficult times.

Seek therapy for your anxiety:

If your anxiety is overwhelming and is stopping you from doing regular things such as going to work, running errands, or seeing friends and family, you should seek help. Therapy or counseling are fantastic tools that can equip you with skills of anxiety awareness, inform you of your triggers, and help you to eventually overcome the symptoms you experience. A licensed therapist can talk with you about where your anxiety might stem from and what to do if you become anxious in a social situation.

If you are looking for anxiety therapy, you should speak to your doctor or go online to find therapists in your area.

Use natural remedies to calm your mood:

Finally, there are natural ways to calm your mood, without resorting to prescription medications. Prescription medications are absolutely fine if your doctor has recommended them, but some people want to go down a more natural route. Natural remedies such as CBN hemp oil can help you sleep better, providing natural and safe sedative effects that will alleviate anxiety. You can self-administer these natural remedies safely, but you should always read the directions and make sure you are taking the right amount for your weight and age.

If you are struggling with symptoms of social anxiety, the most important thing you can do is take immediate steps to change this. Nobody should have to live with anxiety, and by using the techniques detailed in this blog, you can help turn the tide on your symptoms.

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Easing Anxiety & Taking Back Control Of Your Mind

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Easing Anxiety & Taking Back Control Of Your Mind

The past year has been incredibly stressful for most people throughout the world. The demands of everyday life can take their toll at the best of times, but a global pandemic can be enough to push people over the edge. It can feel near enough impossible to avoid the crippling sense of anxiety that can take over.

The times when we feel the most anxiety is when we feel as though things are out of our control – and the past 15 months have felt a lot like that. One of the only ways to overcome anxiety is to do what we can to make sure we can focus on the things we can control to make our lives a little easier. Here are some of them:

Stop Putting Things Off:

Some things that we have to deal with in life are unavoidable. Bills need paying, as does the rent, and toothaches can only go so long before booking an appointment with family-friendly dentists when the pain can impact on getting things done. People are often guilty of putting things off out of fear. The dentist is a good example. Not for having an appointment with the physician themselves, but for the fear of the pain that may occur during the appointment.

However, most know that once the appointment is done, treatment takes place so that they can live a relatively pain-free existence. Continuously putting things off will not only make anxiety worse, but it may also be detrimental to health. Untreated dental pain can cause some pretty severe health implications in addition to potential tooth loss so the answer is to stop putting things off that feel scary or uncomfortable. In many situations, the issue will only get worse as time goes on.

Stop Being Angry and Not Doing Anything About it:

Social media and the news is a great tool for making people feel irrationally angry. They can also make people feel hopeless, too. While feeling angry about a situation is not a bad thing, if not followed up by action then there’s little point to it at all.

If a worldwide issue is making somebody feel angry, then there are always things that they could be done in an attempt to make things seem a little better. Know that bigger issues can be helped by a few people making little changes. Climate change is one of them. Start by making small steps to reuse items and to recycle the things that can be and know that it is part of your contribution. Decrease water usage, eat less meat, and walk when possible are also always good choices.

Social media can make people feel resentment, inadequacy, and all kinds of FOMO. The same rule applies – unfollow the folks who contribute to feelings of not being enough. Time on Facebook should be entertaining, not another thing that upsets you.

The most important thing to focus on during continuing feelings of uncertainty is to be thankful for the things that bring comfort, joy, and peace. There is so much in this world that is beyond anybody’s control, so it is important to focus on the things that can be in order to create a better life.

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Feeling Blah

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Feeling Blah

Hello! Man, I don’t know about you guys but it has been a week for Lil Red. My lil niece was under the weather which resulted in me getting sick and to make matters worse, it was that time of the month on top of it! It has been a very stressful time in my life recently and I think that made whatever little bug I got from my niece even more debilitating because I was in a bad way. Due to all of the COVID safety precautions, I have not been sick in a really long time so this bout with the flu completely knocked me off my feet.

Being sick is always a bummer and, unfortunately, Johnny and I experienced another bummer to add to the overall blah feeling. We had viewed and applied for a home to rent and it was absolutely perfect. It was an ideal size, wonderful location, and a very cute little neighborhood. I felt so good about the impression that we made and was pretty confident that we would get approved to move in. I checked Trulia religiously after we applied and was crushed when I saw that it had been taken off of the market without us being contacted.

At the end of the day, not getting the house wasn’t a huge deal but it was definitely disappointing. It was just so nice and Johnny and I both loved it. Because of that and feeling confident about the possibility of moving in, I think I got a bit ahead of myself so seeing the house being taken off of the market felt like an even bigger blow. It also made me realize that finding a house to rent might be a lot harder than I had originally bargained for which sucks because I would really like to move out of the apartment!

Needless to say, it has been a blah time in Lil Red’s world but I think things will start turning around soon. A vent sesh on the ol’ blog always makes me feel better so thanks for listening to me complain, lol. Let the Trulia and Zillow searches commence…. again!

Do you have any tips for finding a house to rent? What makes you feel better when you’re feeling blah? I want to hear from all of you, so leave me a comment and let’s chat! Much love. -Sarah

COVID Precautions I’ll Be Keeping

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COVID Precautions I’ll Be Keeping

Hello! We are all eager for the COVID-19 pandemic to be over and done with and while there is a huge light at the end of the tunnel, we still have a ways to go. It is exciting to think of what our lives will be like after the pandemic but it is important to not throw caution to the wind and act haphazardly with the health of yourself and those around you. I, for one, plan on keeping these precautions in place post pandemic:

Masking Up:

Thinking back to pre-pandemic times, it’s hard to understand why you wouldn’t wear a face mask if you aren’t feeling well and need to be out in public. I have always been good about staying home if I am feeling under the weather but I will continue to be keeping face masks handy in case I need to go to the doctor or the pharmacy. I also plan on wearing face masks even after the mandate is lifted in crowded areas like grocery stores and shopping centers. You can just never be too safe after living through a global pandemic!

Social Distancing:

I don’t know about you guys but I actually love the social distancing in public. I value my personal space and it has been nice to not have people all up in my business while running errands. Protecting my personal bubble while I am out and about will continue to be a priority for me because it really has made me feel so much more comfortable while in public.

Contact Free Grocery Shopping:

A few months ago, Johnny and I began doing contact free grocery shopping to help limit our exposure and have both agreed that we could never go back to doing in store shopping again. At our local grocery store, Giant Eagle, the curbside grocery pickup is free and incredibly convenient. Our shopping gets delivered right to the car by an employee and it has completely changed our grocery game. The curbside pickup has been an option at Giant Eagle even before the pandemic began and we will definitely keep on making the most of it.

Mental Health Breaks:

Working in the care field during a pandemic has easily been one of the most difficult things that I have ever had to do and my mental health was really suffering. I have to take care of myself, first and foremost, before I can adequately provide care for others and began being more lenient with myself about taking a day off every once in a while. My mental health breaks allowed me to chill out in the safety of my home and regroup and I would return back to work feeling refreshed and capable.

Post-pandemic, I am going to be much better about listening to my body and what it needs and if that means a day off to get myself together, then that is okay. It is really hard for me to take time away from my clients because I miss them so much even if it is just one day but occasional mental health breaks will allow for me to be the best provider I can for them and it is well worth it.

The COVID-19 pandemic has been insane, for lack of a better word. However, it taught me a lot of best practices that I plan on using long term to better protect myself, loved ones, and strangers. ❤

Which COVID precautions do you plan on keeping? What are you most looking forward to post pandemic? I want to hear from all of you, so leave me a comment and let’s chat! Much love. -Sarah

Is It Worth It? Let Me Work Out

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Is It Worth It? Let Me Work Out

Hello!! Despite not ever really “working out”, I am a fairly athletic person. In my youth, I figure skated for about ten years and had just gotten back into it a year and a half before the pandemic began. I also enjoy running and going for hikes. Throughout my life, I was never worried about the muscular lower half of my body from years on the ice. However, my upper body strength is a totally different story because I don’t have any lol.

This past month, I have been working at home quite a bit and had extra free time in between jobs. I don’t really know what inspired me to start a little at home work out routine but, I gave it a shot on one of my more low key days and have been completing my exercises every day since. In my apartment, I have been doing arm circles, walking my stairs, and doing twenty-five push ups – which I actually didn’t know I could do! Next, I plan on adding sit ups and increasing the amount to thirty.

Don’t get me wrong, I am very proud of my body and that, in itself, is a huge step for me because I had an eating disorder in the past. But, I’d like to tone up the upper half of my body for the first time in my life and I know that I am not going to achieve the results I want just sitting on the couch. Even though my work outs are small and basic, I feel really good after I do them and it’s a nice feeling to have because I haven’t been able to skate for the past year.

I’m not trying to get a six pack or super jacked arms but a bit more toning and definition and I feel confident that I will get there even with a slow and steady approach. In the past, I never bothered working out because I got all of the exercise that I need on the skating rink but there is no better time than the present to try something new. I feel proud of myself and it was awesome to hear Johnny say that he was too and I am looking forward to lots of hikes together this spring and summer. 🙂

How do you work out from home? How would you go about toning your upper half? I want to hear from all of you, so leave me a comment and let’s chat! Much love. -Sarah

4 Benefits Of Greenery In And Around Your Home

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4 Benefits Of Greenery In And Around Your Home

It’s said that nature can be beneficial for our health and well being in a variety of ways. It not only adds beautiful color to your home but can lift your spirits as well as improve your air quality. Here are four benefits of greenery in and around your home:

Nature Makes You Happy:

As humans, there are core connections that we need. One is that we need human connection with others in order to feel content and fulfilled. Whether that’s being a social butterfly or simply connecting with others over the internet or with a small family unit. The other thing is that nature and being around nature can also help make us happier on the inside. There’s something about seeing a flower blooming or that stark green color on a leaf that can improve our mood for the better.

That’s why it’s good to have plants in all of your rooms, especially in places where you need that little bit of extra life, perhaps the bedroom where you’ll wake up feeling tired or sad from a dream you’ve had. Seeing something so colorful and alive can be uplifting.

It Keeps The Air Cleaner:

Whether you’re working with a bud trimming machine in your job or doing some casual gardening outside in your backyard, having greenery around you can impact the quality and cleanliness of the air. Plants and flowers help to purify the air, making it healthier for us humans to be able to breathe in and out. It’s important to incorporate a lot of greenery in your home and around it to help contribute to this science that’s proven to help with your health on the inside.

Helps Improve Mental Health:

Gardening is an amazing activity to take up if you struggle with your mental health. It will feel so good to get outside in the sunshine, breathe fresh air, and help something grow. Gardening is a true testament that if you nurture and care for something, you will achieve beautiful results – much like tending to your own mental health. A new hobby also helps fill excess free time and will provide a deep sense of accomplishment when your first flowers begin to bloom.

You’re More Productive:

Productivity or a lapse in productivity is something that most of us will tend to experience on a daily basis. Sometimes we’ll have good moments of productivity and others, slightly less to none at all. It’s always good to find ways of inspiring and motivating you whether it’s in your personal life or work life. Plants and flowers can help bring that productivity, sending good vibes to your brain to stimulate it. So if you’ve been feeling a lack of it recently, then be sure to invest in a few more plants for your home.

The benefits of greenery in and outside your home are proven to be helpful in creating a happy environment so use these tips for yourself this spring!

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Mental Health And Who Is There To Support You

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Mental Health And Who Is There To Support You

It is understandable to see how one’s mental health can be effected during the COVID-19 pandemic as everyone’s lives have changed so drastically in one short year. Jobs, finances, and socializing has all been turned upside down and that’s enough to stress anyone out. We all hope that there is a light at the end of the tunnel and normality will return soon, but in the meantime, if you are finding yourself struggling with stress, anxiety, or depression that you reach out and get the support you need.

Here are some useful suggestions on who you could turn to:

Mental Health Charities:

Mental health charities are wonderful as they have a stash of resources, trained staff, and professionals available to help. They can guide you and assist if counseling is needed, help you assess the best options available in your location, in addition to offering their services twenty-four hours a day. It is worth noting with charities, that there is a vast range of services offered and that some charities may have a more in-depth knowledge relating to specific age groups than others.

Your Family Doctor:

Approaching your personal doctor or physician is also a good port of call if you have any mental health concerns. They will be able to offer excellent guidance on additional support that can be provided and help arrange this for you. Whilst in some cases, they may even be able to prescribe medication to help support your recovery. As you will already have some relationship with this medical professional you may find this an easier first step than approaching someone new.

Employer:

Most employers have some kind of support system in place to help their employees. This will range from office workers that have occupational health benefits or private insurance included to actors and actresses that have an intimacy set coordinator in place to support their mental well being. Although you may find it tough approaching your boss to discuss these matters, know that they are there to help and support you.

Family And Friends:

Sometimes it can be easier to speak to someone you know and trust. Who is better than those that love you the most? Reaching out to a family member or close friend can make seeking help easier for some people. They already have an understanding of your situation, circumstances, and struggles. They are able to offer a friendly ear and, in some cases, can take some of the burdens you are feeling and offer or apply practical solutions to lift your mental load. Schedule a Zoom call with your best friend the next time you are feeling down, it will do a world of good.

It is important to talk about our feelings in such stressful times, not bottle them up! This will only make the pandemic feel more overwhelming. Schedule a call with a professional or a friend you trust to help ease mental health struggles and just know that you are not alone in feeling that way, at all.

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Rebuilding A Relationship With An Estranged Family Member

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Rebuilding A Relationship With An Estranged Family Member

Families can be difficult and, sometimes, you’re going to argue. Usually, disagreements get forgotten and things go back to normal but that isn’t always the case as some families might end up splitting apart and not speaking, potentially for years. Dealing with estranged family members can be incredibly difficult and many people feel as though they want to keep things as they are and not speak to those people ever again.

However, even though you feel like that in the heat of the moment, it’s something that you could come to regret later on. Many people find that when they become parents and they start thinking about the importance of family, they want to rebuild those relationships before it’s too late. If you have an estranged family member and you want to reconnect with them, here are some important things to keep in mind:

Forgive Them For The Past:

If you are searching for an estranged family member because you feel like you’ve got a score to settle, things are never going to work out. It’s important that you forgive them for the past before you reconnect with them so you are going into this process with a positive mindset. Many people are estranged from loved ones that have been in legal trouble, for example. If this is the case, you need to deal with the practical elements, like how to search for an inmate and set up a visit, but you also need to find a way to forgive them for the mistakes they made in the first place. If you are not ready to put the past behind you, meeting up with estranged family members will only make things worse for both of you.

Establish Clear Boundaries:

Putting clear boundaries in place will help you rebuild the relationship slowly and avoid conflict. You should make your boundaries clear from the beginning and what those boundaries are depends on the relationship and the reason for it breaking down. To start, you may tell them that you won’t tolerate lying if that was a big issue before. Sometimes, you may also need practical boundaries in place about what time they can call you or how often you will see one another. The whole process will be much easier if everybody has clear expectations from the beginning.

Maintain Other Family Relationships:

When you rekindle a relationship with a family member that you haven’t spoken to for years, it feels like you have to make up for a lot of lost time. It’s common for people to throw themselves into that relationship and neglect other family members without even realizing it. It’s important that you are aware of this and you take the time to do fun activities with the family and spend quality time with your partner so they don’t feel like this new relationship has taken over everything else. 

These are all important things to consider but the main thing you need to remember is that you must be patient. Healing old wounds takes time, but as long as you don’t push it, your relationship can mend.

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Feeling Stressed? Let’s Change That!

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Feeling Stressed? Let’s Change That!

We all experience stress every once in a while. That’s a given. At the end of the day, stress is a natural response to dangerous or potentially harmful situations that we have evolved to benefit ourselves. But when you experience stress on a regular basis, it can become a problem. Stress can result in detrimental effects on your overall health and well being, from physical harm to emotional harm, mental harm, and even resultant behavioral changes.

Unfortunately, right now, many of us are stressed and have been stressed for a long time. The COVID-19 pandemic has resulted in all sorts of unwanted changes in our day to day lives, from health concerns to worries for loved ones, job loss, financial troubles, social isolation, loneliness, and more. Stress is a logical response. However, you should, where possible, be doing everything you can to minimize your experience and symptoms of stress. Here’s some more information and a few suggestions to help you along the way:

Identifying Stress:

Stress is pretty simple to identify. Here are some of the warning signs:

Physical Impact:

  • Headaches
  • Muscle tension
  • Fatigue
  • Sleep problems

Emotional Impact:

  • Anxiety
  • Irritability
  • Restlessness
  • Sadness
  • Procrastination or lack of Motivation

Behavioral Impact:

  • Emotional Outbursts
  • Undereating
  • Overeating
  • Withdrawal from Social Situations

Reducing Stress:

There are many healthy stress reduction methods out there. Here are some you may want to discuss with your doctor and try out:

  • Meditation and Mindfulness: Meditation and mindfulness are calming practices that can help. Try following tutorials and apps.
  • Getting Enough Rest: Sleep is an important process for your body to rest, resolve trauma or injury and illness. Make sure to get your recommended eight hours a night.
  • CBD: Some studies have found that CBD can reduce stress symptoms. So, why not try out some CBD candies and see how they work for you?
  • Getting Organized: Sometimes stress can stem from a lack of organization. Try organizing your life, tackling issues and concerns, and giving everything more structure.
  • Massage: While spas may be closed, you could try out some massage at home using foam rollers, massage balls, and more. This can release tension.

Know When to Ask for Help:

Of course,  stress can also be a symptom of underlying mental health conditions. So, if you are ever feeling overwhelmed, that you can’t cope, or that you are experiencing excessive or unnecessary stress, make sure to reach out to your doctor. They’ll be able to identify and diagnose any conditions and recommend the best course of treatment for you. There are also support groups, helplines, and mental health charities who can help too!

Most of us are bound to feel stressed right now. What’s important is that you don’t simply accept stress as a given part of day to day life. This is something that can be managed, handled, and even overcame. Hopefully, some of the above information will help you get started out on the right foot when it comes to managing your stress properly and effectively.

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Desire Mapping For 2021 With The Goddess Attainable

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Desire Mapping For 2021 With The Goddess Attainable

Hello everyone and welcome to a guest post written by my new friend, Libby, of The Goddess Attainable! I am so happy for Libby’s work to be featured on lifewithlilred for the first time, thanks to her answering my call to action for New Year’s guest bloggers. Today, you are in for a treat because Libby is going to teach us all about her process for Desire Mapping. Libby is such a delightful writer and this post is both inspiring and incredibly insightful. Enjoy:

Desire Mapping For 2021 With The Goddess Attainable

[This article is not an advertisement for Danielle LaPorte, and I am not sponsored by her or anyone. However, her Desire Mapping process is integral to my recent experiences with regards to my desires for 2021, so I will share details about her program throughout this article.]

My first experience with Danielle LaPorte’s Desire Mapping was back in 2014, spending time with my twin sister, in her living room, with two other acquaintances. At the time, none of us knew, but this initial one-day experience would be the foundation that later formed our tribe (spiritual friend group).

My twin sister was the glue that initially merged this delicate synergy of humans, and it was she who initiated this Desire Mapping exercise, surrounded by delicious food, cozy blankets, and four loving beings. One other precious tribe member would join us one year later and would also become my best friend in the whole world. Our tribe now consists of five talented, gifted, intuitive, sensitive, powerful, authentic, individual people, all trusting and sharing our lives with one another on a regular basis. It’s a true gift to have found a group like this, and our first Desire Mapping experience in 2014 was the beginning of this miraculous union of souls.

LaPorte’s Desire Mapping program is essentially a powerful workbook that invites you to brainstorm about your deepest soul desires. Page by page, question by question, you move through the workbook until you have zeroed in on your deepest “Core Desired Feelings” or “CDFs,” and have compressed these feelings into three to five power words. If you approach this map work with an open heart and a genuine desire to uncover your deepest Core Desired Feelings, these buzz words will make you feel goose bumps when you say them, and will ultimately resonate with your soul.

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The Goddess Attainable’s Desire Mapping workbook ca. 2014. Core Desired Feelings: Kindredness, Shakti-Shiva, Precious Pearl, and Dripping Beauty. At the time, I didn’t even really know what these words meant, but they felt magical when I said them, and I knew I just wanted more of whatever was promised within them.

Your Core Desired Feelings are your own and there is no wrong way to do this, as long as you are being honest with yourself. This exercise can be done individually or in a group, but I have personally found that sharing these precious words with other trusting souls is much more powerful. It’s important to have witnesses to your experience, and to support and witness others’ experiences as well.

Desire Mapping 2.0:

By 2020, our tribe had begun to meet regularly, once a year for a weekend getaway. However, due to the pandemic, our most recent Tribal Council was held virtually. My twin sister had the brilliant idea of revisiting our Desire Maps and re-doing the workbook with fresher eyes and more expanded souls. Also, our fifth and final tribe member had never experienced the initial magic, so we were excited to include him on this journey.

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Left: Virtual setup for Tribal Council 2020. Right: The Goddess Attainable finding her happy place before a day of electronic overload.

Our tribe had all gone through the workbook before meeting this time, and our plan was to share bits and pieces of our brainstorming process, and conclude by sharing our individual, newly revamped, updated 2020 CDFs with each other. However, things did not go according to plan.

It turns out that doing lots of spiritual work, sharing deep and vulnerable feelings with one another, in a safe and cozy setting with blankets and tea is super powerful and also super fun! However, trying to do this virtually is a bit more life-sucking, draining, and is ultimately, quite overwhelming. Our tribe ran out of steam before we were ever able to share our CDFs with one another, and the group voted to table this whole exercise for another time.

I waited patiently for months and months until the group as a whole decided it was ready to re-open this Mapping dance. I was so excited about my new CDFs and dying to share them with my tribe members. I felt like my power words couldn’t come alive until I shared them out loud, and keeping them to myself was like being asked to sit on my hands indefinitely with my body covered in mosquito bites. Okay, it wasn’t quite that bad, but I was impatient to say the least.

I eventually let go of the whole struggle and began to truly trust that if the group was not ready to share in this way, there must be a more divine reason for this. And my trusting paid off, because one of our tribe members finally suggested, kind of out of nowhere, that we all share our CDFs as a way to celebrate the New Year. What a brilliant idea, and much better timing than sharing them when we were all exhausted and spiritually spent from our Tribal Council months earlier.

Our tribe met around 4 PM on New Year’s Eve, 2020, and we shared our CDFs with one another. It was a beautiful and divine experience for all, as always.

After any kind of spiritual gathering, of course, it’s always good to ground yourself with some chocolate, so I made sure to do that…

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New Year’s Eve, 2020

The Goddess Attainable’s 2021 Core Desired Feelings:

  • GODDESS
  • FLOW
  • ENCHANTMENT
  • DEVOTION

How The Universe Manifests Our Desires:

I have found in life, that often when I ask for something, it comes to me when the time is right, and in the form The Universe deems most appropriate. Dreams and desires do not manifest in the way I always imagine, or even want, and they almost never just land in my lap.

For instance, say I desire more love in my life. If I put my wish out there into the world, it may come in the form of a challenge at work. Perhaps I experience a situation where I am called to stand up for myself with a colleague. This may be the gift, the miracle, the desire manifested, even though at the time, I may easily feel victimized and hurt by an experience like this. However, me standing up for myself at work is a form of self-love, and love arrives in all forms. It may not have been a puppy dog wrapped in blankets, left in a cuddly basket on my doorstep, but rather, it came in the form of an experience or incident that invited me to choose love in that moment.

Manifestation is a divine collaboration. When we ask for something, we really do need to meet The Universe halfway. It’s not about punishment, or even earning our desires. It’s just the way the Universe works. If we want to truly feel love in our bodies, we need to experience it in our bones; and navigating real-life, un-planned situations, is one of the most effective ways to absorb new and higher energy from The Universe. We work our manifested desires into our lives, piece by piece, one experience at a time, until they finally become part of us. This is the reality of manifestation, and it truly works, if we know how to work it.

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I always think of this when I think about the idea of meeting The Universe halfway. The Creation of Adam, detail, Michelangelo, Sistine Chapel

Ever since I shared my CDFs with my tribe, I have been noticing their presence showing up in my life in some rather blatant ways. This past week, FLOW, one of my Core Desired Feelings, made multiple appearances, but not in the way I had hoped or imagined.

Let me explain a bit about my desire for more FLOW in life. I am a controlling person. I like things neat and orderly. I am an anal-retentive Virgo and like when things go according to plan. I am not a go-with-the-FLOW person. Contained within this word are all of my desires to achieve more FLOW in my life. I want to go with the FLOW of events and circumstances. I want to jump in the river of life and see where the FLOW takes me. I want to FLOW within my body and feel more relaxed states of energy, as I open my stiff joints and release all of the tightness and tension. I want to shrug my shoulders when things go wrong and just move on in a relaxed and FLOW-forward kind of way.

This week, I was given challenges that were seemingly tailor-made for me, in an effort to integrate some more FLOW into my life. The Universe found the most open and vulnerable (maybe even fragile) parts of me, where there were some cracks in the surface, and infiltrated at just the right moment.

Light enters most efficiently through the cracks in our armor, and our job is to simply let the light in.

I shared my desires with The Universe (and my beloved tribe), and The Universe responded in kind. I could have chosen to believe I was a victim of the following circumstances, but instead, I chose to recognize the gift of FLOW that I was being invited to receive.

The Toilet:

I won’t get into the gruesome details with this one, and I will certainly spare you the pictures (I didn’t take any). Needless to say, I am a very clean person, and I hate when my bathroom and/or my toilet are not perfectly clean and functioning properly. Hate it. But during this week, the toilet was not working or functioning properly, and I was unable to get it working in a timely manner.

My partner took time away from his clients (he is a therapist and works from home) to come down and try to assist. He spent a good thirty minutes attempting to rectify the situation, and it soon became clear to us both, that this situation was unrectifyable (I often make up words as I go, but all of my word inventions are words that I think should already exist).

Just to give you an idea of how difficult this was for me, while my partner was in the bathroom, trying his best to fix the problem, I was out in the living room, lying on the floor, curled up in a ball, trying not to vomit. Not kidding. There was utter trauma coursing through my veins, and I was doing my best not to lose it. Yeah, that’s how I get when it comes to this kind of thing.

However, something within me decided to handle things differently this time. Just before my partner emerged from the bathroom, I unfurled myself from my trauma ball and rose feebly to my feet, bracing myself for bad news. He let me know that he had to return to work and told me that he would not be available to help for another few hours. I was stuck and left on my own to try to fix the issue, and more importantly, I needed to use the bathroom…SOON! But I was determined to do things differently this time.

WAYS IN WHICH I WENT WITH THE FLOW DURING THIS ENTIRE DRAMA:

  1. When my partner came out of the bathroom to let me know that he was unable to fix the problem and had to return to work, I said, “Okay, I’ll figure it out, thank you for trying.” Whaaa????!!! Never in a million years would I typically respond this way, but I did.
  2. During this time, I must note, that I was actually incorporating another one of my CDF’s into the whole situation, and was truly asking in every moment, “What would a GODDESS do?” A goddess would not have a tantrum, that’s for sure.
  3. Remember, I had to use the bathroom at this point, so that was my most pressing concern. I contemplated going to a convenience store, but not my favorite option. Instead, I contacted a friend who lives near me, asked to use her bathroom, and took her up on her offer to lend me her toilet auger. During the whole drive, I remained calm and just continued to tell myself, “Tomorrow will be better.”
  4. On the way home, I took it upon myself to make a pit stop at Home Depot to pick up something that might be helpful and contribute to the solution.
  5. I got home and thought I could sit around and wait for my partner to finish work and then have him take care of the issue (just being in the bathroom at this point, still made me kind of nauseous), or I could try to tackle this problem myself, like a badass GODDESS who knows how to go with the FLOW.
  6. I called my brother-in-law, who just happens to know everything about plumbing, and asked him how to use the tools I was attempting to use.
  7. Within a few disgusting, traumatic, horror-filled, yet relatively calm minutes, I had fixed the toilet, all by myself, and I didn’t even vomit in my mouth!

After some reflection on the situation, I even recognized the uncanny combination of events. I literally and metaphorically had unstuck a blocked FLOW within myself and my home. Again, this is the way The Universe works. I want more FLOW in my life, right? Well, FLOW doesn’t just come to me in an instant, like a flash of lightening. I have to experience it in my body by being given opportunities to flex that atrophied FLOW muscle. I experienced more FLOW by being presented with a challenge to bring about this quality within me.

Next challenge (AKA invitation to receive)…

The Blender:

For the last several weeks, I have been attempting to DETOX FROM THE HOLIDAYS, and it’s been going swimmingly. An integral part of my detox efforts has been a blender that I bought for myself as a Christmas present. I have needed a blender for so long and can’t believe I have lived this long without one. I have been making soups and smoothies galore, and it has been a super fun part of my strict detox regimen.

That all ended several days ago…

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There’s no explanation. The blender glass was wet and it slipped off the counter when my back was turned, and I was powerless over its destruction. In those moments, what can one do?

I could have cried. I could have pouted. I could have cursed (okay, I definitely cursed). But I didn’t cry and I didn’t pout. I went with the FLOW. It’s a blender. It happens. Things break. Things that I just bought and that I really love just break. It sucks, but what was I going to do? I cleaned up the broken pieces of glass and went on with my day.

I considered going out and buying a brand new blender, but that seemed silly to me. I just bought this! And I don’t need a blender, I just need the glass. I looked online to see if I could order replacement glass for the blender, and the exact kind of glass I need is on back order with no estimated date of arrival. Another invitation to FLOW. Again, what can I do? What would a GODDESS do? She would pivot. She would adjust. So that’s what I did. And it made for a more FLOW-y existence.

I decided, “Whelp, I have all this fruit in my refrigerator that I planned to make for daily smoothies. I guess I will just have a bowl of fruit salad, instead. Every day. Indefinitely. Until my elusive blender glass arrives someday. Just go with it. It’s no biggie.”

Relaxation:

My final invitation to FLOW this week was initiated by moi, and beginning Friday afternoon when I had completed my work tasks for the day, I made a point to just veg out on the couch, give myself a break, and relax. I often feel pressure to produce, produce, produce. Creative people struggle with this often, and I am constantly dancing between my urges to feed the fires of desire within my belly, and my intuitive understanding of my need for rest.

Ultimately, I heeded my body. At the end of this long, challenging, and educational week, I simply enjoyed the FLOW of spreading my limbs out on my couch while mindlessly watching the Kardashians and their Los Angeles shenanigans.

In Conclusion:

For most of my life, I have always wished for love. Not puppy love or self-love, although those kinds of loves are great, but rather, true love. In 2018, I was blessed with finding this special true love, and over the last two and a half years, I have found myself in a position of needing new things to desire.

It’s an amazing thing when our wishes come true, but the party doesn’t stop there. Dreams and desires are what keep us moving as humans. New desires keep coming once we achieve our goals. That doesn’t make us greedy or selfish, it just makes us participants in life. One of the best ways to remind us that we are alive, is to check in with ourselves on a regular basis and revisit our desires. This keeps them present and active, and keeps us aligned with our authentic selves.

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At the strong urging of two of my tribe members who were already hooked on this Desire Map Planner, I caved and finally bought one for myself this year.

I resisted this planner for a long time because there is something a bit burdensome about carrying my desires around with me all of the time. If I never desire anything, I never have to be let down, right? However, if I never dare to dream, I may never reach my life’s full potential.

Living my dreams doesn’t have to be scary or profound. Living out my dream today looks like smashed blender glass on the kitchen floor. It looks like a stopped-up toilet. And finding my true love didn’t look like a romantic comedy, but rather a really nice date with a really nice guy who had beautiful eyes and a smile that lit up the entire restaurant.

Living our dreams just kind of looks like life. But we can truly be the ruler of our lives if we can just muster up the courage to admit that we do have a bit of an idea of how we might like our lives to go, and what we might want to feel like along the way. We aren’t allowed to dictate how those dreams arrive, but we can certainly make ourselves available to The Universe’s wisdom, and open ourselves to receive The Universe’s offerings. Our dream lives will follow. We all deserve this right, and we are all capable of walking this path.

I wish you so much luck, love, and happiness on your journey, and want to thank you so much for allowing me to share just a piece of mine with you. XO!

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Libby Saylor is an artist, living and working in the suburbs of Philadelphia, and writes The Goddess Attainable Blog.

You can continue learning about Libby at:

Thank you so much to Libby for creating this post special for lifewithlilred’s readers and for sharing her truth with us! Please make sure to visit her pages and give them some love, too. And, if you are interested in guest blogging for lifewithlilred, then shoot me an email at sarah.mush6794@gmail.com ! Much love. -Sarah