Tag Archives: adulting

Making New Friends As An Adult

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Making New Friends As An Adult

Hey everyone and happy Sunday! As I make my way deeper into my twenty somethings, I find that I have had an increasingly difficult time making new friends. I work for myself, I’m no longer forced to be around anyone because I’m not in school, and, sometimes, talking to new people can be down right scary! Although Lil Red might seem like a confident gal, I still have issues with social anxiety. And, racing thoughts of whether an attempt at small talk will be a hit or miss can leave even the most confident in a tizzy.

But, then, I started utilizing the “what have I got to lose” mindset. The literal worst that can happen is that someone gives you the old “let’s get coffee sometime” and you never do. But, if you’re successful, you could have a brand new friend to get to know and spend time with.

I’ve began putting myself out there more and more lately and, I’ve got to say, it feels great! I’ve been attending different clubs of my interests at the local libraries and have even suggested a hang out with my favorite barista at Starbucks – and it worked! I have also been trying hard to maintain wonderful relationships with my old friends, because a phone works two ways.

I want to continue spending my free time in a meaningful way, and putting forth a better effort to make new friends has definitely helped me achieve this goal. Within just a few months, I feel like my anxiety in unfamiliar situations or speaking with a stranger while out and about has decreased significantly.

I started out small, by striking up a Facebook conversation with the people that I admired from afar and worked my way up from there. And, now, I have a plethora of both new and old friends that I would feel comfortable initiating a hang out with. I’m proud of myself for setting this goal and sticking to it, because meeting new people can be hard. But, once I got over the initial scare factor, it turned out to be an exciting adventure in my life and I’m looking forward to continuing to meet more new potential friends!

Does anyone else experience difficulty making new friends in adulthood? What are some of your tips for putting yourself out there? I want to hear from all of you, so leave me a comment and let’s chat! Much love. -Sarah

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Second Puberty: What Is It & What Can You Do About It?

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Second Puberty: What Is It & What Can You Do About It?

If you are currently staring at the screen with horror, sorry about that. Puberty for the first go around wasn’t exactly a wonderful time for most of us, so the idea that we have to go through it again? There’s probably a reason that second puberty isn’t exactly well known, despite the fact that it definitely happens – and it’s not pretty for those who go through it.

Between the ages of 28 and 33 (with some leeway on either side), second puberty is your body adjusting to its new status as a fully-fledged adult. You’ll grow more body hair, your voice will become deeper (this is why most of us can tell how old someone is just from their voice on the phone), and you’ll begin to tire faster. It’s also likely to be the onset of what are referred to as the “signs of aging”, especially those in relation to your skin and body. YIKES!

The one benefit of second puberty is that, unlike the first time around, you’re more able to fight it this time. No sitting back and just letting the worst happen to you; you can fight fire with fire and battle your way through. All you need is a strategy, which it just so happens, you can find right here:

Learn Your Supplements:

You’re going to need a little extra help as you move into the second phase of life. Second puberty is a time when the collagen in our bodies begins to deplete, which ultimately can result in deep wrinkles and facial lines. It’s also not great news for calcium (which can impact bone health in later years) and hormonal function (meaning the beginning of a decrease in fertility.

Fight Back: Introduce yourself to a supplement regime that can help ease the burden of time. Most users tend to be very satisfied with collagen supplements and these calcium-containing AlgaeCal reviews are definitely something to keep in mind. If you plan to have children in the future, then it might be worth talking to your doctor about a hormonal blood panel just to see where you’re at health-wise, as well as other options for becoming pregnant.

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Vitamins 4 dayz

Slowing Down Time:

Around the time of second puberty, your body is going to want to slow down. You might find your energy reserves are depleted and that you become tired faster than you did before. You’ll also find that your metabolism slows, making it more likely that you will *gasp* gain weight.

Fight Back: The biggest way to conquer the great slowdown is to refuse to give in to it. Keep yourself active, especially if you’re concerned about the slowing of your metabolism – exercise has been known to boost it. You should also try to avoid substances that can bring you to a grinding halt. For example, by the time of second puberty, it might be worth turning your back on endless hangovers every weekend. Drink in moderation and you’ll see your energy reserves spike.

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(Still love wine, though.)

Puberty was lame, but second puberty has the potential to be a lot better since your smart adult brain can concoct a plan of action! 😀

The First Steps To Switching Careers

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The First Steps To Switching Careers

You’re not the same person that you were when you first joined the workforce; life happened, events were experienced, and you learned from any mistakes you have made (hopefully!). As a result, you grew as a person, developed new interests, and discovered skills you didn’t realize you had. It’s no wonder that you might be entertaining the idea of a different career. However, if you’ve climbed a significant portion of the career ladder in your current industry, it’s not exactly a thrilling thought to start at the bottom of an entirely new field all over again. A new career might seem exciting, but is it really the right move for you? Here are a few things that you would have to consider before you make the switch:

Do you really hate your current job?

Yes, it might get boring and frustrating doing the same thing 40 hours a week, but do you really hate your job enough to completely leave it? Once you start down a path of switching careers, it can be very difficult to switch back, so you need to be sure that you’re doing it for the right reasons. If your inner reflections reveal that it’s your boss/colleagues/job that you hate, then maybe you just need to find ways to make work more tolerable or put some feelers out for a different job within the same industry. It’s still a hassle, but it’s a lot less work than starting from scratch somewhere else.

You’ll have to start at the bottom:

Whatever career you’ve chosen next, you will have to start all over again. Unlike when you were in college and you were free to experiment with different options, everything you do from here on has to be in service to your new career path if you want to get there faster.

Say you’ve decided that you want to pursue a new career in the fashion industry; you’ll likely have to go back to school to get the proper qualifications and find a job within the industry that can pay your bills and give you some relevant experience. Since you’re starting from the bottom, most jobs available to you will be in retail clothing stores, so make sure that you read this if you plan on filling out a Victoria’s Secret application. If you’ve realized pretty early on that you made a bad career choice, then starting from scratch might not be such a hassle as long as you’re sure that you are following the right career path for you.

You need a plan:

Resist the urge to march into your boss’ office and hand in your resignation once you decide that you want a career change; you still need a job while you come up with a viable plan for your next endeavor. Take your time and start by narrowing your options. Start by deciding on what you don’t want to be doing. If you hate doing paperwork in your current career, you can eliminate admin and office jobs. You can free yourself from being chained to a desk by choosing an outdoor job or one that involves more movement. If you’re hoping to end up in a top position one day, a five year plan can outline the steps that you need to take to get there. Your plan should outline how you’re paying for new qualifications, the position you’re hoping to get, and where you hope to end up after a few years of experience. The options are endless, but your perfect job is out there waiting for you.

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Planning party!!

You need the skills:

Chances are you won’t have the necessary qualifications for the new job that you want. But don’t let this put you off! You can learn the skills that you need by going back to school full time, through an online course, or signing up for part-time classes. Even if you change your mind all over again, furthering your career with education is never a bad thing. Studying part time while maintaining a job will show employers that you have enough drive and motivation to go after something you want. The degree itself will also help you develop a wide range of skills in addition to learning about the subject itself. If you don’t quite have the funds for a formal education, you could also try volunteering to gain some valuable skills and experience.

There is nothing worse than going to a job that you despise every day. Switching careers can be a scary thing but can have a major payoff once you’re at an amazing new job!

Featured Image By: Wikimedia

Adulting Essentials

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Adulting Essentials
Hello everyone and TGIF! I hope all of you are having a fabulous day so far and have a bright and exciting weekend to look forward to. If there’s one thing that I know as a twenty-something, it’s that I constantly feel under-prepared. Everything up until the late teens and early twenties was great, right? A la-di-da world where the only thing that you needed to worry about was what to wear to school and your hours at your weekend job. Fast forward to the ripe age of 23. Freshly graduated from college, moving out of your dorm to your own apartment, and (sort of) ready to take on the world. This is basically what your teenage self has been dreaming about since forever. So why does it feel so stressful?!

The life of a twenty-something is a bumbling and haphazard mess 90% of the time. Job hunting, grad school, moving out of chez mom and dad. You’re stretched thin in all directions and all you want is some literal direction in your so called life. As the baby of the family, I’ve watched three older siblings do the growing up thing. And now, as the 23 year old baby of the family, I guess I have to do the whole growing up thing myself. Gross.

So what comes with growing up? A big girl job, your own place, squeezing some time in for fun between binge eating or binge studying – that all sounds about right. For a big girl job you’re armed with your education or experience. For having some fun, you have your high school or college BFFs to schedule a GNO with. But your own place? A place that you need to pay rent for, furnish, AND do your own laundry in? Well, you’re gonna need a few things:

1) Stationary: From calendars and notebooks to agendas and business cards, stationary is a total must. You know how the life of a twenty-something is a bumbling, haphazard mess 90% of the time? That, my dear readers, is what the planner is for. The calendar, the to do list, the agenda – whatever you call it, is a twenty-something essential. Doctors appointments? Job interview? Date night with the SO? Drinks with the girls? Yeah, there’s a planner for that. Hang your calendar with pride wherever you can see it and take a stab at sitting down with a glass of wine and organizing your week. You will be amazed at how your days will open up once you begin utilizing the free space that you have in between work till four and cardio at 7 on Monday and Wednesday.

2) The Perfect Mattress: The first thing that my sister did when she moved into her own apartment was buy herself a queen sized bed. Okay, girl. I see you. Now, I don’t usually say this, but she had the right idea. There is nothing better than tucking into bed with a good book and Enya on your iPod after a long day. Get comfy cozy in your boyfriend’s shirt, throw on an overnight face mask, and snuggle up on your new mattress compliments of Casper. Breathable, lush, plush, springy, and supportive, you’ll be traveling to the land of nod in no time as soon as you get curled up on the mattress of your dreams. Just make sure to put mattress shopping with Casper on your to do list before dozing off tonight! 😉

3) Business Casual Wardrobe: This isn’t necessarily an apartment essential as much as it is a life essential. I think that it is so important for twenty-somethings to begin investing in business casual wardrobe staples. Whether your ideal job setting is laid back or totally formal, you still need something to wear to the interview, right? Start supplying your closet with sharp, chic pieces that scream “boss lady” as soon as you walk in the door. I’m talking pencil skirts, crisp button downs, trench coats, blazers, cardigans, and a smart pair of trousers.

When I began shopping for my job with the Ohio Department of Developmental Disabilities (which is about as business cashe as it gets), I gradually began making an effort to instill a more professional feel into my wardrobe. I hit up stores like Loft and Express for clothes that were unquestionably cute, but still looked put together and work place appropriate. Look for simple, well tailored pieces and let your accessories or a funky patterned cardi showcase your personality. There is no rule stating that business casual means boring!

4) Culinary Cool: One of the things that comes with moving out is not having a delicious meal prepped for you every day by the rents. I, personally, am a firm believer that everyone should have a basic understanding of cooking and finding your way around a kitchen. Unfortunately, not everyone shares this mindset with me, so cooking on your own might be a rude awakening to burnt pizzas or blowing a fortune on takeout every night.

BUT IT’S OKAY!! I promise. I absolutely love cooking and baking and my golden rule is that if you can read, you can cook. Go to the library or bookstore, snag some cook books (even if it is Making Eggs For Dummies!), and practice. Hit up your local Aldi’s or Save A Lot for ingredients, follow the directions, and you’ll have a meal that you made all by yourself in no time. I swear that it is not as daunting as it might seem and, within time, you might find yourself actually enjoying your meal preparations in your kitchen.

But, of course, you can’t cook without the proper tools. You don’t need to go overboard, but do invest in some quality but not too costly gear to help you out. Spatulas, measuring spoons and cups, mixing bowls, and a sheet pan for your pizza rolls will go a long way. And, like any well stocked arsenal, it doesn’t become that way over night. Pick up odds and ends for your kitchen every so often when you’re out and about and you’ll have all of the necessities before you know it.

5) TREAT YOSELF: Adulting can sometimes really suck. Like a lot. Believe me, I get it. Full time job, college, bills? It’s like a whirlwind of misery. That is why I am all about incorporating a TREAT YOSELF attitude into my adult lifestyle. Seriously. Get out, have some fun, and let the destressing begin. This can range from going out to get your nails done after a long week in the office to buying that sassy dress from Target because it hugged your curves in all of the right places. Do things that make you feel good (within reason). Buy things that make you feel good (within your budget), and you’ll find yourself breezing through adulthood like the boss lady that you are. YOU GO, GIRL!
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Adulting can be unquestionably overwhelming, but you’ll be just fine with the right Essentials! What are your adulting must haves? How do you destress after a long day of being a grown up? I want to hear from all of you, so leave me a comment and let’s chat! Much love. -Sarah
Featured Image By: ZootScoop

Teaching Them To Fly The Nest: How To Help Your Grown-Up Kids Become Independent

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It’s become a main trope in popular culture that parents can’t wait for their kids to leave home. Having the house to yourself, not needing to replace the shampoo in a hurry because someone used more than they needed to. Appreciating the peace and quiet that can only come from nobody under the age of “late thirties” living in a place. It sounds like bliss.

Of course, few parents think about it in so black and white. Though there are definite advantages, you’ll miss them when they’re gone, and there will be tears when they move out. So much so that you’ll be kind of glad when your phone goes and it’s them. Some kind of emergency in their new home that they haven’t the first clue how to deal with. Mom to the rescue!

And yet… when your kids move into a new home, you want them to be self-sufficient. Whether it’s a college house-share or their first apartment, you want them to have the knowledge you’ve accumulated. You know you made mistakes when you first lived outside your childhood home. You know they’ll make some too, but you can stop them from making the ones that you may have made in your youth.

Plumbing: Give Them The Basics, Save A Lot Of Money: When we are kids, we get used to things just showing up and a lot goes on that we don’t see. Food lands on the table in front of us or in the fridge, and we don’t worry about how it got there. We turn on the tap and there is water, flip a switch and there is light. So when we’ve moved into a new place, we can be shocked when the shower drain floods after a few months. Your grown-up child doesn’t need to be an expert plumber. But knowing how (and how often) to clear a shower drain and other blockages can make a big difference.

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Pixabay Image

Prepare Them For The Marketplace: There will be some issues that occur which you’re not able to fix yourself. The first few times, you may deal with them indirectly. Going round to their new home, seeing the extent of the damage and then calling the relevant trades person to fix the problem. Before too long, though, it is important that they know who to call and how to deal with repair companies. Give your kids a list of plumbers, exterminators, and licensed electricians. Advise them on the importance of getting three quotes before hiring anyone.

Become Skilled At Hinting: Of course you will never stop caring or worrying about your own progeny. You will always step in to make sure they are safe, comfortable, and well fed. So when they come back home because they’ve run out of money and just need to eat, take the chance to teach them some self-sufficiency.

Feed them, of course. Give them a good meal and listen to the problems that everyone has when they first move out. Then take them grocery shopping. Tell them why you go here, why you walk down this aisle, and where you get coupons. Don’t tell them straight out “this is what you need to do”. Let them realize that by teaching them. You are running your household by showing them and hopefully they will do the same – or, perhaps even better!

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