Tag Archives: friendly reminder

Dec24

A Little Update

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A Little Update

Hi there! I wanted to give everyone a little update on something health related so buckle in. I am HPV positive and for the past two years I have needed a biopsy of my cervix. A few weeks ago I had my second biopsy and it was unpleasant but doable. All that was left to do was wait for the results and I got them in last week. The results showed fragments that did not show up on my pap smear and I will need to repeat a biopsy and pap in a half a year. It might be HPV related and resolve itself or it could be pre-cancer/cancer cells that will require a surgery on my cervix to remove.

Although it was scary to hear, I consider this a best case scenario result. It could either be nothing or it could be something that has a surefire way of being treated. I think that’s very lucky and I am so thankful. This is not a post looking for sympathy, but a post to serve as a gentle reminder to take your health seriously. Do not ignore your gynecological care. Attend your appointments, commit to the doctor’s orders, and be proactive in asking questions and voicing concerns. Cervical cancer is, blessedly, treatable but it is up to you to get a head start. Regular appointments means finding problems early which will increase the success of the treatment even more.

I would be a liar if I said that the first few days after my doctor called me with the results weren’t difficult. They were and I felt really sad. However, I am feeling much better after having time to sit with these emotions. The most helpful thing for me has been repeating a mantra in my head and to Johnny too. It goes a little something like this: It’s either nothing or it will be treated. Those are the facts and focusing on them has kept my mind from wandering to worst case scenarios. It’s so easy for your brain to go haywire when you get not so great news and fact driven self talk restored my sanity. ❤

In conclusion, everything is A-okay. While lifewithlilred is full of fashion and fun, it’s about my life too and I just wanted all of my dear friends and readers to be updated. I love you all!

Do you have a mantra you repeat? How do you engage in positive self talk? I want to hear from all of you, so leave me a comment and let’s chat! Much love. -Sarah

Nov18

TikTok Love

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TikTok Love

Howdy! As you all know, I am a word girl through and through. I don’t really like scrolling through videos or pictures and have always preferred Facebook as my primary social media. However, way back at the end of March, I decided to make a TikTok. I had just left a work situation that, for lack of better words, sucked ass. I was in a weird kind of limbo but what I wanted most of all was to focus on my own content again. Not anyone else’s – just me, myself, and I. And you know what? It felt good!

Prior to making my TikTok, I rarely made videos of myself and was busy making videos for other people. I was deeply ambivalent at first but after a few days, I definitely saw the appeal. It’s just pure fun! My blog baby will always be my A1 but I loved the idea of making video content that coincides with what you read on lifewithlilred. It’s like an extra sneak peek into my world and I have found myself enjoying making OOTD videos just as much as shooting them in picture form. I have also been having a blast just making videos that I think look cool or are funny. It might not be to anyone else, but it is to me.

I went into my TikTok with no intentions of following trends. No expectations of getting paid or becoming TikTok famous. I went into it with the intentions of trying something new. The last new thing I tried in terms of work sucked and that’s because it wasn’t on my own terms. My TikTok was totally different because I had the final say and I still relish in that feeling every time I click post. It really does feel amazing to do something for you with zero expectations. Just to enjoy yourself. It sounds silly, but my blog and TikTok really are my favorite forms of self care. Outside of shopping, and getting my hair and nails done – obvi lol!

As I have literally zero expectations with my TikTok, every new like and follow feels like a huge win. Every notification is a victory and it feels like a pat on the back. I am immensely proud of my 2,640 followers and 24K likes. Like my blog, my TikTok is an extension of me. Something I made all on my own. I started both pages on a total whim and the fact that I still make daily content after all this time tells you everything you need to know. I just love to create!

If you are in the mood for more Lil Red, have I got a deal for you! Follow me on TikTok for more from your favorite lil blogger. Every single follow means the world!

Are you on TikTok? What is your handle? I want to hear from all of you, so leave me a comment and let’s chat! Much love. -Sarah

Aug26

Friendly Reminder!!

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Friendly Reminder!!

Hello!! After leaving an incredibly shitty work experience in March, I most definitely needed a bit of me time. During that Lil Red mental health retreat, I threw my hands up, said “screw it” (It was actually an expletive!) , and made a TikTok. What makes me really happy is creating content and I decided I needed more of that in my life – even if I am not the biggest fan of making videos. However, after close to five months of posting daily content on TikTok, I finally get it lol. It’s a lot of fun and I love shooting OOTDs, hiking, exploring, cooking, and any and everything videos. All of you have been onto something for a phat minute and although I am literal years late to the party, it’s better late than never! 😀

At the end of May, I was almost at one hundred followers and you have no idea how happy that made me. Fast forward to the here and now and I have around twenty five hundred and you have no idea how happy that makes me! For a page that is still relatively new, it might as well be twenty five million to me and I feel proud of that because my TikTok really is just for funsies. I don’t expect brand deals and billions of views. All I wanted was to go back to making content for me, myself, and I… And anyone who feels like watching or reading it and that is the prize in itself.

While I was in the midst of the not ideal work sitch, I was barely keeping my head above water let alone making content that I felt excellent about. And, in turn, I felt far below excellent because content creating is truly one of my forms of self care. It gives me a safe space to wear whatever I want, experiment, and simply be me. Even if my blog or TikTok got no views, it would be fine because it is mine and mine alone and I made it and had a blast doing it. My mental health has improved tenfold and it feels so SO good to be back in my zone and feeling completely like myself!

If you feel so inclined, I would absolutely love it if you joined me on my TikTok. If not, that’s okay too! I’ll see you around the blogosphere! ❤

What is your favorite form of social media? What makes you feel like yourself? I want to hear from all of you, so leave me a comment and let’s chat! Much love. -Sarah

May20

Bikini Body

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Bikini Body

Hello!! Summer is about to bring the Hot Hot Heat (Who remembers that band?! LOVED them!) and with that comes a total wardrobe change. The layers are shed, long sleeve tops are traded for Ts and tanks, and jeans shorten into… shorts lol. For some, this is as natural as the seasons changing. For others, it can be a nerve wracking exercise in dressing for the weather and feeling comfortable about it. In this situation, I fluctuate from oozing a godlike charisma to wanting to hole up in a closet to wallow in poor self esteem and never come out.

If you are a long term reader of lifewithlilred, you will know that I detest dressing for summer. Part of it is simply aesthetics. I just love fall clothing – cozy cardis, gorgeous jackets, and all the accessories like scarves, gloves, and beanies. I wear these layers for looks, of course, but they provide an extra layer of protection as well. I don’t mind showing skin but it’s never high up on my agenda when I’m styling an OOTD. So when the transition happens to wearing shorts, crop tops, and tanks out of sheer necessity for the weather, that layered security blanket is tossed to the side and worry sets in. “Do my breasts look too big?” “How many rude comments on my tattoos am I going to get today?” “Is someone going to pull the old ‘grab my arm’ to get a closer look at said tattoos?” (The latter happens more than you would think!)

Like I said, to some people dressing for summer is whatever. For others, it is anything but. And, whatever that reason might be for a lack of self confidence in dress, rest assured that it will weigh heavily on the person who carries that burden. As everyone begins to don warm weather clothing, I always like to give a friendly reminder: What people wear is none of your business. Unwarranted comments on body type or clothing can do more damage than you could ever imagine and it stings even harder when it’s from a complete stranger. So ask yourself a question: Do I really want to ruin someone’s day with a comment? And, do I really want someone to ruminate on that comment for forever? Unless you plan on singing someone’s praises, the best rule of thumb is to say nothing and if you don’t like what you see, look away.

I will always be a recovering bulimic and I can give you exact moments in time when comments on my body were made that destroyed me. It could have happened years ago but in my head, it happened just yesterday. Every single person that you encounter is struggling in some way shape or form. So again, before you make a comment on body type or dress, ask yourself a question: Do I really want to make what that person is going through even worse? Every body is beautiful and should be celebrated. And, as the old saying goes: If you don’t have anything nice to say – don’t say it!

One of my favorite quotes via social media is that “Every body is a bikini body” and wiser words have never been spoken or typed. This summer, let’s dress for us and feel amazing about it because when you feel like the star you are – no one can tell you NOTHING!!

What is your favorite season to dress for? What is your least favorite season to dress for? I want to hear from all of you, so leave me a comment and let’s chat! Much love. -Sarah

Dec13

Seasonal Friendly Reminders

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Seasonal Friendly Reminders

Howdy!! The holiday season is a joyous time, but there is no denying that is can be highly stressful – especially for those who struggle to feel merry and bright around this time of year. I thought it would be a good idea to discuss some Seasonal Friendly Reminders today to help enhance the holidays for everyone – holly jolly or not. Let’s take a look at a few different ways to do so:

Holiday Shop Kindly:

From someone who had an extensive tenure working retail, believe me when I say that holidays can bring out the absolute worst in people. In fact, a vast majority of the most terrible encounters I ever had with customers happened during the holidays. Look, we all get it. The stores are crowded, what you want might not be available, a seasonal employee might make a mistake – but it’s never EVER a reason to be mean to someone. Practice patience and if you can’t, stick to online shopping instead of ruining someone’s day.

It’s Okay To Feel Sad:

There is a preconceived notion that this is the happiest time of the year and that it’s impossible to feel sad during the holidays. FALSE. This can actually be the hardest time of the year for those who have lost a loved one, battle with their mental health, or are suffering from an illness. Or it could be none of the above. Regardless, it is okay to feel sad and if you know someone who might be struggling, comfort them. Comments like “You can’t be sad, it’s Christmas” are not helpful because holidays don’t dictate someone’s happiness. Be there, lend an ear, and choose your words carefully – it could be exactly what that person needs!

No Comment:

Changing is part of what makes us human and we change all of the time whether we realize it or not. Some changes are more obvious than others – new tattoos, piercings, a hair cut, growing your hair, or losing/gaining weight. If whatever change you see in someone is not your personal cup of tea, Do. Not. Comment. On. It. Let’s repeat that: No comment is the best comment! Some of these changes could be a result of trauma or an illness and unless information is volunteered, the best rule of thumb is to please bite your tongue. 🙂

And Remember…

You truly have the power to make or break someone’s day so use it wisely. When all else fails, just be kind. Give a smile, a pleasant word, hold the door open for someone – small gestures like these could turn a bad day into something more tolerable. This really can be a sensitive time of the year so be sensitive of that. Spreading holiday cheer doesn’t have to be a huge production and Random Acts of Kindness do the job just fine!

Honestly, these are all good things to remember no matter the time of the year but it just hits different during the holidays!

Have you worked a seasonal job before? Have you ever had a bad holiday experience? I want to hear from all of you, so leave me a comment and let’s chat! Much love. -Sarah

Nov20

Holiday Mental Health Reminder

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Holiday Mental Health Reminder

Hello!! We are SO close to Thanksgiving that I can almost taste the green bean casserole (Don’t hate on it!). And, of course, then we enter the whirlwind of the winter holiday season. While this is an incredibly joyous time, it can also be highly stressful and it’s important to put your mental health first. Let’s talk about a few ways that you can ease some of those get together jitters so you can still have the merry and brightest time ever:

Ground Rules:

Given the current political situation we are in, it’s very likely that politics will be a topic of discussion at your gathering. This can be a blessing if everyone has the same political views but a curse if not! If the attendees are all across the board on their viewpoints, it might be a good idea to set a Ground Rule of not talking about it period. Unless each guest can engage in polite conversation, then it can turn heated very quickly and that is the last thing you want during the holidays!

Take Breaks:

If your holiday gathering has you feeling overwhelmed, take a break! There’s no rules saying that you can’t and you can excuse yourself without being obvious. No one will think anything of it if you pop into another room to “make a phone call” or you could volunteer to take the family dog out for a quick jaunt. Once you have a few minutes to yourself, you can enter back into the situation feeling refreshed and better able to handle it.

Make Yourself Busy:

Sometimes the best way to shake off anxiety is to make yourself busy. There is always going to be the need for an extra helping hand during the holidays so be that person. Take drink orders, set the table, assist in the kitchen – you know the old saying about idle hands! Giving yourself a task to focus on could be just what you need if your mind starts to race or you’re feeling triggered.

Focus On The Positive:

There is a high probability that there is going to be someone you can’t freaking stand at the gathering. This can create a lot of tension within yourself so try not to let it fester and focus on the positives, instead. Chances are that when you start looking for the positives, there will be a lot of it! There are people you *probably* like there, the food will be banging, or maybe you will play some really fun games. The festivities are not going to last forever so you could be miserable or try to make the most of it for a few hours!

Talk It Out:

There is this preconceived notion that you are supposed to be happy AF during the holidays and that couldn’t be further from the case. Holidays can be an incredibly difficult time for people and it makes sense if you think about it. If you are feeling that holiday depression kick in, it could be really helpful to talk about it with a loved one or counselor. Then, you can create some strategies to get you through and try to take a bit of joy in the festivities too.

Whatever you are feeling during the holidays, good or bad, is okay! You’re allowed to feel anxious, stressed, and overwhelmed but with these tips I hope you can enjoy the season more fully!

What is your favorite thing about the holidays? What stresses you out during them? I want to hear from all of you, so leave me a comment and let’s chat! Much love. -Sarah

Sep6

A Pleasant Surprise

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A Pleasant Surprise

Hello!! One of my work days is almost exclusively at a client’s job site. Then, I have a few breaks during that time when I can work my other job on my computer. In the store, there is a cafe section that I like to post up at and click clack away until it’s time for my next shift. While I am at the computer, I am in my own little world and will usually put my headphones on and listen to music while I work. Normally, the cafe is almost always empty. This time around, though, I noticed an elderly man sitting at one of the tables while his wife did some shopping.

As I finished packing up my work supplies, the gentleman motioned for me to come over. I have to admit, I was thinking “oh shit” in my head. As a woman with a ton of tattoos, piercings, and vibrant hair, I don’t have a ton of luck when it comes to older people beckoning me. The comments I have received in the very recent past have run the gambit. I’ve been told that people who look like me will probably end up in jail. The classic “You’d look so much better without all of that”/”Why would you do that to yourself?”. As well as being called flat out ugly. So, yeah, I wasn’t exactly chomping at the bit to see what this guy had to say to me.

After I approached and braced myself to be insulted, my new friend surprised me. He simply said, “I was just wondering how long it takes to get your hair like that”. You could have knocked me over with a feather! With a happy and huge sigh of relief, I began to tell him about my trips to the salon and the hair style that took over seven hours to complete. He told me he didn’t think he could ever sit in a salon for that long and I talked about how much I enjoy it – especially all the girl talk! He made the “chit chat” gesture with his hands and we both had a laugh. After our encounter, we said our well wishes and parted ways with a smile on each of our faces.

As I thought about my talk with this stranger, I realized that I completely misjudged him and I deeply regret that. In that moment, I was no better than the people who made it a point to let me know their mean comments without knowing anything about me. I was one hundred percent prepared to have been talked down to and, instead, we ended up sharing a laugh. The age old saying “never judge a book by its cover” is such a cliche but it really is the truth. I judged without any reason to think otherwise and my original thoughts were dead wrong. This encounter taught me to be better at keeping this cliche at the forefront of my mind and challenged me to do more than make a snap decision at a glance. I am so very glad for this reminder!

After this Pleasant Surprise, my sense of impending doom when an elderly person calls me near has certainly diminished. I have come to expect hurtful comments and everyone will always have something to say – positive or negative. However, now I will be better at approaching these conversations with a smile, come what may.

Has someone made your day recently? What is something that pleasantly surprised you? I want to hear from all of you, so leave me a comment and let’s chat! Much love. -Sarah

Sep27

Friendly Reminder!

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Friendly Reminder!

Hello!!! Every once in a while do you get messages from random people you went to high school with and never once spoke to asking to join a pyramid scheme? Because SAME lol. I also receive a ton of messages asking for one of my number one pet peeves – to “pick my brain” about blogging. In other words, get free advice on my expertise because we graduated from the same high school or just so happen to be friends on social media. It is amazing how quickly the conversation ends once my consultation rates are explained. This sounds snobby, but it is very annoying – especially because I often offer advice on my blog free of charge so I know they aren’t reading my page at all!

My logic behind offering consultations for those who want to start a blog is similar to why I pay for tattoo consultations. The bottom line, is that people are spending their time and knowledge to help you and that is something that should be compensated monetarily. For my consultations, it is a $25 flat rate and in that time we will work through several key points that are essential when starting a blog. This includes: Creating a name around your vision, establishing a writing and publishing schedule that works for you, figuring out your strongest writing categories and choosing offshoot categories, networking strategies, a special shout out on my page, and so much more.

Unless you are really good friends with a blogger or social media guru, chances are you are going to be asked to pay a fee for advice. This is just a friendly reminder because for a lot of people, myself included, blogging is a business. Those who have established a name in this field worked really hard for it and our knowledge is worthy of being considered valuable. The same goes for anyone who works in a creative field – remember, this isn’t just our hobby but our livelihood! 🙂

This post was not meant to be bratty, but what the title says – a Friendly Reminder. I have been experiencing this issue a lot lately and I know that I am not the only one who can relate!

What is one of your biggest pet peeves? What else should I include in my blogging consultations? I want to hear from all of you, so leave me a comment and let’s chat! Much love. -Sarah

Jun12

Feeling Overwhelmed? What Has Helped Me

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Feeling Overwhelmed? What Has Helped Me

Hello! Saying that my life has been overwhelming for the past almost year is the understatement of the century. I have a loved one in poor health and have essentially become a duel citizen between Akron and the Cleveland Clinic. On top of that, I work three jobs, try my best to maintain some semblance of a social life (occasionally!), pepper in self care when I can, and keep my apartment in check. It is a lot!

At times, the stress was really getting to me and I was feeling so low. It took a decent amount of time for me to find healthy ways to ease my mind even a little bit and that has been most helpful. If you are in a highly stressful point in your life, these are the things that have been working for me and they might help you too. Let’s get to it:

Have a good cry:

There has always been a misconception that crying is a sign of weakness. However, I think it is such a sign of strength. To be able to release your tension and blubber (lol) and sob until you have nothing left can be so healing. I have always found comfort in a good cry and feel it even more so right now. Yes, I still feel sad after a cry sesh, but I also feel an ease in the out of control, overwhelming emotions. I honestly cry several times per week and for my situation, it is a healthy and powerful release.

Talk it out:

One of the biggest mistakes that I have made throughout my entire life was bottling emotions and letting things fester. This is a massive no no! I thought that I knew the people who I could turn to in my life for assistance and a vent session, but they have proven to be less than helpful. So, I had to find a new support system (outside of Johnny and immediate family).

This came in the form of one of my aunts and an uncle. Although I had been estranged from them for a significant amount of time, they have become one of my greatest assets during this hardship. I talk to them each at least once per week and it feels so good to say everything I need to someone who is ready and willing to hear it. They have really rallied around me and I take a lot of comfort in knowing that they are always just a phone call away. (And, yes, I will be attending therapy sessions as soon as things slow down and already have counselors in mind!)

Ask for help:

Like I said, I thought I knew who would be helpful in my immediate family and that just wasn’t the case. So, I simply refused to ask for help period and found a sense of pride in everything that I was undertaking. I still feel proud of myself for what I have done and continue to do for my family, but I have also gotten a lot better at asking for what I need. I was feeling really alone and, as it happens, I unknowingly did have a support system where all I needed to do was ask when I needed assistance. This has helped ease my burden so much mentally and it sounds like such an obvious thing to say to ask for help. But, I think we all forget this sometimes and it’s good to have a reminder.

Leisure time:

Once I return home from my day, I am simply done with my phone unless it’s absolutely necessary to pick up a call or answer a text. This has helped SO much and squashed the feelings of being constantly “on call”. Now, during my leisure time with Johnny, I can enjoy it more fully and that has been great. We have so much fun playing video games together, watching our favorite shows, playing with the bunnies, and just sitting on our balcony and talking. I miss Johnny so much when I am away during the day and not having my phone as an extra appendage makes our leisure time even better.

Sleep well:

It can be hard to get good sleep when everything seems to be falling apart, but it is so important to at least try. Even when I know that I won’t get to sleep early due to racing thoughts, I try to let my body rest as much as I can and veg out. I have also become much more forgiving of myself when I need extra sleep. I have always suffered from night terrors, but they have become AWFUL with the stress that I am under. After a rough night, I allow myself to sleep in a bit and I never fault myself for it because I can get through the day better rested.

All of the things above seem like no brainers, but it’s helpful to be reminded. And, because they are no brainers, they will be easy for you to implement too! Best of luck. ❤

What helps you in an overwhelming situation? Who is in your support system? I want to hear from all of you, so leave me a comment and let’s chat! Much love. -Sarah

Jan23

Friendly Reminder!

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Friendly Reminder!

Hi everyone!! Last month, I bit the bullet and made myself an Instagram during my winter break. I always said I would never get one, but here we are now lol. You can follow me @lifewithlilred94 to keep up with all of the latest and greatest that doesn’t make it onto my blog. This includes bonus OOTD pictures, all of the silly Johnny content, as well as a never ending supply of Governor Ferguson from Wentworth. And, of course, if you give me a follow – I will follow you right back!

For more additional tomfoolery, you can friend me on Facebook: at Sarah Mushenheim. However, I will say it doesn’t have as much shout outs to “THE FREAK!!!” haha. Although I am extremely late to the Instagram party, I am glad that I made one and I would love to connect with all of you on a variety of platforms. Who knows, maybe in the next seven to ten years I’ll get around to making a TikTok. 😀

As always, I am so appreciative of the support from all of my dear readers and friends and am looking forward to the continued expansion of my Insta. Keep it posted on all of my accounts for my latest shenanigans, musings, and pictures from my TV screen that I have deemed worth sharing!

What is your favorite social media platform? What about your least favorite? I want to hear from all of you, so leave me a comment and let’s chat! Much love. -Sarah