Tag Archives: self esteem

A Life Lesson From Facebook

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A Life Lesson From Facebook

Hi everyone! Facebook is the only form of social media that I have and I definitely prefer it that way. For the most part, it keeps me entertained and it would be just too much to have to maintain other social media pages on top of my blog. While scrolling through the book, I came across a meme that said something along the lines of “The people who are doing better than you don’t look down on you, it’s the ones who are falling behind that are hating” or whatever. Reading this poorly paraphrased quote instantly reminded me of a little story that goes like this:

I was once on a date with a guy and we were talking about college while we were in his car. At the time, I was at Cuyahoga Community College and he was at Kent State University studying photography. So, we’re sitting there talking and he tells me that he’s failing basically all of his classes. Meanwhile, I share with him that I’m really enjoying all of my courses and I wish that I had started my college career earlier. And, he snaps back with “that’s because you go to community college”.

Excuse me?!?!

Because he was the one failing his courses and I’m thriving in a college setting, that automatically makes Tri-C easier? Although they offer the same classes as any college in the area? Righhhhhht. I spent over three years out of school and I made the choice to give college a try even though I was so nervous of failure that I sometimes found it hard to breathe. And, instead of congratulating me for what would surely be a difficult task for anyone, he replied with a verbal slap in the face.

I’ll never forget this story, because it is so incredibly off putting. But, seeing it from the light of what that meme on Facebook said made me see it in an entirely different way. It was basically a rephrasing of the quote from The Interview “They hate us cause they ain’t us”. Lol, I was so confident in how I was doing in school and proud of myself but, someone tried to dull that down because he wasn’t happy with himself. And this, boys and girls, is an awful way to be.

I guess the point that I’m making is to not let anyone’s jealousy or whatever they might be feeling take away your confidence. Jealous people want you to stoop down to their level, because misery loves company. No matter what anyone says, words hurt. Use your words appropriately and, if you need to think about whether you should say something or not, chances are that you shouldn’t!

Has anyone ever had a similar scenario to the one that I described? How do you deal with haters? I want to hear from all of you, so leave me a comment and let’s chat! Much love. -Sarah

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A Little Touch Up Here And There

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A Little Touch Up Here And There

Sometimes our bodies just aren’t the way we want them to be. We think to ourselves, I’d love to change this or I wish I looked like that. But can we always have what we want? No, we can’t. What we can do, however, is figure out ways that we can have a couple of touch ups here and there. Something to give us a little confidence boost when we need it! So, what little touch ups are we talking about you ask? We’ll list them below just for you. Even if some of them don’t suit you, it should actively get you thinking about the things that you actually can change!

I Can See Clearly Now!

Let’s face it, you can’t, can you? If there’s one thing that affects a majority of you reading this, it is going to be your eyesight. Some people are born with poor eyesight, some start to lose it during their teenage years, or even due to injury. When your vision becomes bad and you do have to rely on glasses, it can be one of the most annoying things! One option would be to consider looking at the types of lasik treatment to see if your sight can be corrected. Most of the time, there’s nothing that a good laser can’t fix, you just need to make sure that you’ve got the funds to be able to do something like this. The correction is usually permanent, however, so you could finally see clearly and live a life without glasses! You might also find that you only need one eye corrected, so it might not cost you as much as you think!

I Want A Washboard Stomach!

Ugh, don’t we all. When you see those girls with the completely flat and toned stomach, the nice rounded bum, and legs for days, you just can’t help but be jealous of them. But they’re not born with it, so don’t think it’s in the genes. It’s all about the hard effort they put into it, both inside and out of the gym. And you could easily do the same, if you put your mind to it. If you want that washboard look and you want it quickly, you should try and get yourself a personal trainer. They’ll whip you into shape, give you something to commit to, and give you all of the diet tips that you could ever need for a rockin’ bod.

Basic Beauty Hacks

Sometimes we just have to go back to basics if we want to be a better version of ourselves, and that starts with basic beauty tips. From making sure that you have a great skincare routine, to ensuring that you don’t eat a fatty diet that could bring out impurities. As for makeup, you should definitely start watching a few YouTube tips to know what makeup looks good, and where to put it. You can completely change your look with the power of make up!

Everyone has something that they wish they could change about themselves. And, with many great options out there, swapping out your desired change for a confidence boost is easier than you think!

Featured Image By: Pixabay

Body Issues: Learning To Overcome Insecurities And Love Yourself

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Body Issues: Learning To Overcome Insecurities And Love Yourself

A study found that 63% of female participants identified their weight as the key factor in how they felt about themselves. Despite the rise of positive body awareness, such as Ashley Graham’s #BeautyBeyondSize, thousands of women feel the anxiety to keep up with celebrities and social media. The good news, is that there is never a ‘better time’ to start loving and taking care of yourself than right now. Here’s how you can learn to overcome insecurities and love yourself:

Make Healthy Changes:

What better way to boost self-confidence than to achieve long-term goals. Rather than setting impossible goals such as ‘losing 20 pounds in a week” or “achieving a tiny waist in three months”, aim to start a new fitness routine and incorporate organic foods into your diet. When you eat right and exercise on a regular basis, your hormones will slowly fall into balance and help you to feel your best.

Consider A Makeover:

While a proper diet and fitness routine can help you lose the unwanted weight, thousands of women still struggle with extra baggage. Despite the “taboo” of plastic surgery, 17.5 million procedures were performed in 2017 alone, according to the American Society of Plastic Surgeons. If you’re tempted to get liposuction or a tummy tuck to reduce loose skin, you’re not the only one. In fact, nearly 2 million individuals opted for immense services like boob jobs, liposuction, and rhinoplasty. So, whether it is a total “Mommy Makeover” or a simple lip injection, your plastic surgeon will guide you and address the most common body issues.

Dealing with the Root of the Problem:

We all have our moments of highs and lows, but what’s important is that we see beauty in many shapes and sizes. So, to help you focus on dealing with what makes you feel insecure, you must first look at what triggers those emotions. Here are some ways to discover more about your interests, insecurities, desires, and most of all, yourself:

  • Writing a blog or your own personal journal about what you love about your body.
  • Stand in front of the mirror and look at yourself in a positive way. Like really look at yourself and voice out your favorite attributes.
  • Seek support from counselors, family, and friends to help you battle the insecurities and solve the underlying issue.

The reality is that no amount of diet, weight loss, or even plastic surgery can fix poor body image and low self-esteem. Those who struggle with negative body image must discover the underlying issues and learn how it is influencing the way that they feel about themselves.

Changing the way you look may seem like a tangible way to alter what you disliked about your body. But, the only way to heal from low self-confidence is to address the issues and face them head-on. Only then can you truly learn how to overcome your insecurities and love yourself.

Featured Image By: Unsplash

More Pacer Progress

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More Pacer Progress

Hello everyone and happy weekend! My last Pacer pedometer update was written on May 19th with a step total around 600,000. That’s a pretty big number, so I wasn’t expecting a huge amount of progress to be made in twenty-four days. So, imagine my surprise when I checked my stats for this post and ended up adding an extra 275,000 to my step count! I couldn’t believe it either, but I’m so happy about it! Here are the rest of the stats for this month’s update:

  • Steps Taken: 874,580
  • Calories Burned: 21,546
  • Hours Active: 135
  • Miles Walked: 287

After seeing such great results, I found myself wondering just what I was doing to get myself there. And, it has a lot to do with the wonderful Metro Parks that Ohio has to offer. For the past few weeks, I have gone on nice, long hikes at least twice a week if the weather allows it. Dogsitting for my neighbor and walking her pups twice a day for a week didn’t hurt, either!

For the most part, I have been exceeding my goal of 10,000 steps per day and I’m really proud of that. It feels good being more active, and completing my goals almost daily like it’s nothing now makes me feel such a huge sense of accomplishment. I had no idea that downloading one simple app would work such wonders on my self esteem, but I am so thankful for it and am looking forward to reaching my goal of 1,000,000 steps soon. 😀

Who else uses a pedometer? How many steps do you walk or run per day? I want to hear from all of you, so leave me a comment and let’s chat! Much love. -Sarah

Monday Update: Therapy Edition

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Monday Update: Therapy Edition

Hi everyone and welcome to another week here on lifewithlilred! As many of you have shown an interest in my therapy journey, here is an update. Meh, it’s going so so. I feel like I have hit the metaphorical wall where nothing seems helpful and I’m running out of things to talk about. And, I’m getting frustrated with rehashing the same shit just worded differently all of the time.

I’ve actually been playing around with the idea of not going after the few appointments left that I have scheduled. But, I feel like that’s a bad idea. Maybe once every two weeks would be a bit better. I don’t know, it’s just becoming more of an annoyance than anything, and I feel like I’m getting even more pissed off by my weekly visits.

Obviously, there’s still a bunch of stuff in the ol’ mental health department that I need to work on, but I just feel kind of burnt out. Like I’m so micro-focused on it that it’s making me even more depressed, anxious, and just all around angry. I feel like I need a break. I guess that will just be something to chat about during this week’s session, amIright?!

Who else has felt similarly to the above during their time in therapy? How did you deal with it? I want to hear from all of you, so leave me a comment and let’s chat! Much love. -Sarah

Fight These Common Causes Of Low Self Esteem

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Fight These Common Causes Of Low Self Esteem

One of the best things about life is being able to put ourselves first. Sure, it is always good to help others and ensure that our actions aren’t negatively affecting the people around us, but at the end of the day, we need to live our lives so that they benefit us and place us at number one. By making sure we do what is right for us and making decisions that will benefit us and our life, we can then start to truly love ourselves and feel good about our life choices.

However, loving ourselves isn’t always as easy as it should be. That’s because it can sometimes be easier to find reasons to hate ourselves and put ourselves down. More often than not, this causes low self-esteem and poor self-confidence. Low self-esteem can have many negative effects, especially on our mental health. If we suffer with it for long periods of time, it can transform into anxiety disorders.

If you are suffering from low self-esteem, then you will no doubt be busy trying to find a solution to all of these negative feelings. Most experts believe that the best way to deal with any self doubts is to find the cause of them and tackle them head on. So, this begs the question: what are the causes of low self-esteem? Here are some of the most common ones and what you can do about them.

selfff1Smile!

Toxic Relationships:

Bad relationships can be the cause of a lot of grief and heartache. Unfortunately, they can also often lead directly to feelings of self-doubt and low confidence. Not only that, though, but it can also cause issues with trust. When we enter into a relationship with someone, we put all of our trust into them. When they abuse this trust, we can often feel worthless and like our trust means nothing. However, that is very much not the case. The best thing that you can do in this situation, is to get out of the toxic relationship as soon as you can.

Even if you still love your partner, it is important that you remove yourself from the relationship so that your confidence and mental health isn’t damaged any further. Just keep on telling yourself that you deserve someone who truly loves you and won’t throw your trust back in your face. Don’t forget that this toxicity doesn’t only apply to romantic relationships. Friendships can often turn bad. If you think that your friends are bringing you down and causing you self-esteem problems, it could be a good idea to move on from them.

selfff2#byebye

A Poor Body Image:

Some people struggle with their body image, and they find that their poor body confidence ends up dragging down their self-confidence as a whole. If this sounds like your main problem, then it is worth trying to change how you see yourself and working on improving your body confidence. There are a few things that you can do which will help this. First of all, you should stop comparing your body to others. We are all made differently, so there are bound to be lots of different shapes out there. And there isn’t a perfect or ideal one – that is just something that the media came up with to try and sell more gossip magazines!

As well as not comparing yourself to others, you should also ignore what the media has to say about body shapes and sizes. They only print what they do to sell more copies of magazines and newspapers, and get more clicks on their sites! One other way that you can give your body image a boost is to surround yourself with people who love you for who you are and who will fill you with confidence. If you find that the people who you hang out with are trying to get you to change the way you look or the clothes you wear, they aren’t doing you any good and they certainly aren’t your friends.

selfff3Pexels Image

The Aging Process:

You aren’t born with self-confidence issues. Sometimes, they come and go throughout life. Some women find that even if they were super confident throughout their twenties and thirties, once they hit middle age, they lose all of their self-esteem. And that is largely due to the aging process. No one wants to get older. Not only that, but many people find it hard to deal with the physical changes that their body undergoes as they start to grow old. So, there’s no wonder that many people try to hide the tell-tale signs of aging, such as under eye lines and crow’s feet. If you find that you are feeling down about getting old, you might find that changing your mindset to a more positive one really helps improve your feelings and helps you come to terms with aging.

selfff4Always try and make the best of the aging process!

 

Feeling Guilty:

We all make mistakes as we go through life, but some of those mistakes seem to haunt us for longer than others. Having this guilt hang around our heads constantly can get us down and will eventually lead to very poor self-esteem. If at all possible, you need to shake away the guilt. One way around these negative feelings is to try and think of all of the positive things that came from making these mistakes. For instance, perhaps a particular mistake actually opened up some doors for you in your life and were able to bring you more opportunities. Plus, it is important to remember that mistakes can be learned from and help you grow and develop as a better person. I’m sure that some good came from your mistakes. Focus on this positivity and forget about the guilty feelings!

 

Setting Goals That Are Too Big:

Another problem that most people have to deal with is a self-imposed one. The majority of us set ourselves targets and goals in life to stay as productive and motivated as possible. Then, when we achieve them, we can feel proud and successful. However, it is very important that when you do think about our life goals and targets, that they aren’t too big and unachievable. Otherwise, they will be impossible for you to reach, and you will end up extremely frustrated and unfulfilled in the process.

As a result, you may end up thinking that you are not really good enough. Eventually, those thoughts will lead to poor self-confidence and self-esteem. So, the best way to tackle this is to prevent these thoughts in the first place. Rather than setting yourself goals that are exceptionally high, you should consider reducing them to make them more achievable. That way, you can feel good when you work towards them rather than beating yourself up every time you fail.

selfff5Bullseye!

Traumatic Experiences:

Sometimes people go through traumatic life experiences and, even though they are able to make a full recovery, they are often left plagued by low self-esteem. The best way around this is to sign up for some therapy sessions. During each session, you will be able to speak to a therapist about your ordeal, and they will help you come to terms with any PTSD or resulting self-confidence issues.

Living life with low self esteem is no way to live life. Begin to tackle your issues and watch yourself blossom!

Featured Image By: Pexels

Eight Confidence Boosting Tips For Every Day

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Eight Confidence Boosting Tips For Every Day

We’re all dreaming of the day when we wake up in the morning, look in the mirror, and are happy with what we see. Until that day arrives, we can work on our self-esteem and confidence, so we can learn to appreciate the beauty on the inside and the outside, and become more aware of our flaws and best features. Confidence can help you find the best ways of creating your own style, achieving your goals, and becoming more successful. From learning to appreciate your skills and knowledge to working on your limitations, there are plenty of ways that you can boost your confidence to look and feel better every day. Here are a few tips for you to consider:

1.   Positive Affirmations

To build your confidence, you might want to find some positive affirmations that you can repeat to yourself every day. When you don’t feel like meeting people, or you feel like you look ten years older than you are, you have to acknowledge the thoughts and focus on the positives. Some people call this the “fake it till you become it” attitude, but you shouldn’t try to pretend to be someone else. Instead, find positive things about yourself and focus on what you have achieved instead of what you failed at.

2.   Self-Compassion

If you fear rejection or failure, you are likely to have inner frustrations and anger to deal with. The best approach is to learn self-compassion through meditation and mindfulness training. You will find that you have to love yourself and recognize your value before others would. Self-compassion is an approach that helps you become the best you can by looking after number one, and focusing on your self-image instead of what other people think about you. Chances are that you are not happy with plenty of things in your life, but if you focus on what you are doing right, you can find a helpful solution.

3.   Goals and Achievements

Once you have learned self-compassion, you have to list your goals and achievements. Think about what you have done well in your life and acknowledge your personal strengths. To develop yourself further, you could set yourself SMART goals. They are specific, measurable, achievable, relevant, and time-relevant. This will help you stay focused on your long term goals, whether they are related to your career, personal life, or your appearance.

4.   Congratulate Yourself

Once you have achieved a goal, you need to congratulate yourself. You can set yourself a reward for completing each task or achieving the goal, depending on what works the best for you. If you happen to be a maximalist, you need to learn to settle for “good enough” instead of perfect all of the time. Even if other people don’t acknowledge your achievements, you have to look after your confidence and emotional balance, by congratulating yourself. You might even print off some motivational certificates and display them on your wall whenever you achieve a new goal.

5.   Changing What You Can

Sometimes we have problems with our behavior, emotions, or appearance that impacts our whole life. If this is the case, you should seek professional help. Counseling can aid your self-discovery, and help you find the reasons why you have low confidence. If you can fix the issue, you should. Some women benefit from breast augmentation and feel better and more confident in their skin, while others opt for exercise or skin treatments. Find what you want to change and start actively seeking the solution.

6.   Managing Your Frustrations

It is important to deal with your frustrations. If you don’t feel good about how the dress looks on you or would like to improve your mental health by learning to accept yourself, you can change how you feel. While it is important to better yourself, sometimes you are too critical with yourself. Ask for feedback from your friends and family members to find out whether or not your assumptions are founded on facts or your imagination. You might feel like you are not looking your best, while most of your friends will be jealous of your style.

7.   Focusing Less on Impressing Others

It is important that you learn to realistically assess your looks and behavior, and not try to impress others with everything you do. Simply put, you should do what makes you happy, instead of what impresses others. Likewise, wear what you feel good and confident in. If you’re not checking the feedback from others every minute, you can focus on developing yourself. There are several methods to help you achieve a higher confidence level and doing your own thing instead of fearing criticism. Tell yourself that if someone doesn’t like you it is their problem, and don’t try to be friends with everyone.

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Eloise Ambursley Image

8.   Daring Not to Fit In

If you feel better having tattoos and piercings, do so. In some lines of work this is a taboo, but if it fits in with your career choices, nobody should tell you what not to do. Some people wear purple or blue hair with confidence and are happy that they can express themselves. If you talk a different way than others, have a unique humor, or are a “new type of weird”, don’t be ashamed; be proud of who you are. Whatever makes you feel good in your skin is allowed. If you can express who you are by how you speak, act, and dress, take the opportunity, and you’ll find that many people will find you unique and interesting.

Being confident and feeling good in your skin is an ultimate way of becoming a happy person. You should ignore the negative inner voices and criticism. Dare to be yourself, and express your personality. Use positive affirmations and learn self-compassion. Accept your limitations, but make changes that increases your confidence and well-being. People who have a good relationship with themselves are more likely to have true friends and meaningful relationships with others.

Featured Image By: George Bohunicky