Hello everyone and TGIF! I have recently been informed thanks to a pop up on my beloved iPod that I am totally out of memory. Thanks to this memo, I can no longer take pictures with the built in camera. This is a problem because all of the low quality shots that I snap and upload onto the ol’ blog are compliments of my iPod. Unfortunately, this problem was a tough one to solve because I am a total funny picture hoarder.
I have pictures from years ago on there that crack me up that I just can’t bear to part with. However, through the process of elimination, I was able to find a few memes that I decided to throw on to my blog so it won’t be like completely deleting them! Take a look at some of the pics that never fail to make me laugh and that (sadly) won’t be part of my iPod memory bank any longer:
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^^^ Omg. I love this slide show setting! How handy!
Okay… So maybe they’re not that funny but they still get me every time! I hope that some of these were able to make you laugh and that you’re all having a great start to your Friday! What is everyone up to this weekend? Any big plans? I want to hear from all of you, so leave me a comment and let’s chat! Much love. -Sarah
Helloooo everyone and happy Monday! I hope you all had a fantastic weekend – I know I did! I got to sleep in every day this weekend which was awesome and I also volunteered for Canine Lifeline with my mom to help some pups in need this holiday season. You can check out their website at: http://caninelifeline.org/ ! ANYWHO, on today’s Monday Update I have a bone to pick with the world in regards to the phrase “90’s kid”, so let’s discuss:
Yesterday, as I was scrolling through my newsfeed on WordPress I came across a girl who was born in 1999 claim that she was a “90’s kid” and I rolled my eyes SO hard. Once my eyeballs returned to their normal place in their sockets, I decided that it was time for a Lil Red PSA, so here it goes:
*Clears throat* If you were born in the latter half of the 1990’s (1995-on) then you are NOT a 90’s kid. You spent a majority of the 90’s in diapers and eating dirt. You were not enjoying the cartoons, toys, and pop culture related to the time period. The thing is, I was born in 1994 and I don’t even consider myself a 90’s kid because I can barely remember anything about it. I truly am a child of the 2000’s because I can vividly remember everything from it – and so is every teenybopper kid claiming 90’s status.
Because the last part of Section B Paragraph A is so important, let me reiterate it further. Yes, if you were born in the late 90’s, you are indeed a 90’s baby – barely. But are you a 90’s kid? No. You’re a child of the following decade. There is nothing, I repeat NOTHING more annoying than people born in the late 90’s claiming that it was the best times of their lives. There is nothing awesome about eating baby food, shitting your pants, and not being able to talk! Jesus!
I have discussed my frustration of the phrase “90’s kid” being used willy nilly with countless friends as well as on Facebook last night. Literally every time the subject has come up, I’ve received responses similar to what was stated above the highly accurate Batman Slap meme. If you learn nothing else from my blog other than when it’s appropriate to give yourself the title of a “90’s kid”, then I have done my job. It is so incredibly annoying and must be stopped!!!
I spent six years in the 90’s but as I mentioned earlier, I don’t call myself a 90’s kid. I have literally a 1% recollection of 90’s pop culture and do you know how I know that? I watched a marathon of Vh1’s “I Love The 90’s” and I had no idea what they were talking about in almost every episode. However, in all of their “I Love The 2000’s” episodes, I could remember every single thing that was mentioned for the decade. So if you’re struggling with whether you’re a 90’s kid or not, give the old Vh1 test a try. ***Results may vary.
After years of irritation over the loosely used phrase, “90’s kid”, I felt that today’s Monday Update: You Are NOT A 90’s Kid was very necessary. How does everyone feel about this phrase? How do you know whether you are or not a 90’s kid? I wanna hear from all of you, so leave me a comment and let’s chat! Much love. -Sarah
Heyyy everyone and happy Thursday! I’ve been pretty lucky as far as my health goes these past few months – no flus, no infections, nothing…So naturally, I got a cold from hell this week. It’s so awful that I seriously think it would make Satan cry. And who do I have to thank for my unfortunate snotty situation? My boyfriend, of course. What a guy! ❤
Kyle wasn’t feeling well over Thanksgiving so good thing we spent it together, right? He had the beginnings of a cold and sore throat as well as a debilitating sprained ankle…Lucky for me, those aren’t contagious, too! I was feeling fine throughout Thanksgiving weekend, I was healthy as an ox (is that a saying?) and sexy as hell (hubba hubba)! But then on Monday, things took a turn for the worse because I woke up more stuffed up than one of those stuck up Kardashians…Who I HATE!
Every unfortunate cold symptom there is, I had – the sniffles, sore throat, sneezes, body aches, headaches, and a nose that ran faster than Usain Bolt. It’s basically like my own personal form of purgatory which I get to experience right from my home front! Yay!
On Monday after school I make the trek up to Kyle’s place because we always spend Monday evenings together. I was SO hungry by the time that I got there so we decided to get some Mexican food in our sickly stupor. The food was awesome and we got a half pitcher of margaritas to share which might not have been the best choice to drink after having a stomach full of cold medicine and pain relievers.
By the time that we got home, my stomach was in knots and I had to spend some quality time with the toilet where I ended up throwing up a gigantic margarita mess…It was not pretty. I was hurling and my nose was running and I somehow managed to get vomit all over my legs while I was trying to push my hair back. I was a hot as fuck mess. In those moments of stomach weakness, my tummy did end up feeling better but I was so disgusted with myself! I had to call Kyle as I sat on the bathroom floor to have him hobble over and bring me my shower gel so I could scrub my vomit soaked legs clean…It was really great and I highly recommend it.
How was Tuesday and Wednesday, you might ask? Well I am so glad you did because THEY SUCKED TOO! Tuesday and Wednesday ended up being a repeat of Monday except without puking up a half of a half pitcher of margs. Not only are my days filled with agony but I can’t even find any relief at night either. I’ve been waking up three or more times each night to blow my nose, cough, or just lay in misery…And do you know how hard it is to blow your nose with FIVE NOSE PIERCINGS?? I’ll answer that for you…It’s pretty hard. -__-
^^^ Dandy is talking about me.
So there you have it, an update on your girl’s declining health in Looking Good, Feeling Awful. I hope all of you guys are having a wonderful and healthy week! Who’s experienced some nasty winter time sickness this year? What are your some of your go to remedies for helping with a cold? I wanna hear from all of you, so leave me a comment and let’s chat! Much love. -Sarah
Hellooo everyone and welcome to the newest edition of Man Crush Monday – Larry David style! This one may be a head scratcher for some of you but there is nothing more attractive than a man with an award winning sense of humor! Enjoy this clip from one of my favorite shows, Curb Your Enthusiasm, and then let’s discuss:
Dear Larry David,
Oh Larry, you beautiful bald headed Jewish man, you. Thank you for creating the brilliance that is Seinfeld and Curb Your Enthusiasm. Television as we know it would be nothing today without you, NOTHING. You were the brains behind the literal best sitcom of all time and your sense of humor is completely unmatched by the comedians of 2015. Thank you for creating TV shows that I can sit down with my parents and enjoy. Thank you for creating TV shows that I can quote to my wits end with people who are in on the Seinfeld and Curb jokes. Because let’s be honest, people who haven’t seen the shows just wouldn’t get it. Your infamous tongue in cheek openness about subjects ranging from people parking outside of the lines to absolutely nothing at all have earned you the tip of my cap. Hubba hubba, sir. Do I find you hella attractive? Not at all…Openness, right? But do I find your amazing creativity enviable and incredible – Yes, I do. Larry David, you are a genius and I LOVE YOU!!!
So there you have it, this week’s Man Crush Monday: Larry David Edition! Who is your #MCM this week? What is your all time favorite episode of Seinfeld or Curb Your Enthusiasm? I wanna hear from all of you, so leave me a comment and let’s chat! Much love. -Sarah
Helloooo everyone and welcome to the newest edition of Man Crush Monday – Will Arnett style! I loved Mr. Arnett as Stranz Van Waldenberg in Blades Of Glory and now he bursts my buttons every night as the sleazy but hysterical Gob in Arrested Development. Take a look at my favorite clip from the entire show thus far and then let’s discuss:
Dear Will Arnett,
Oh Will, you big ol’ funny guy, you! My mom and I began watching Arrested Development on our drive to Orlando, Florida this past summer for our vacation and your character, Gob, quickly became one of our favorites. We are just wrapping up season two and the clip that I chose to honor you with literally had my mom and I rolling around on the floor while laughing our heads off. KOKA KOH KOKA KOH!! I would give anything to do the chicken dance with you! You play Gob’s pretentious and ridiculous self to sheer perfection which leaves me wanting to binge watch entire seasons of Arrested Development after every episode. You are a fantastic character actor and you are also quite the looker! Hubba hubba to you! Your unconventional good looks and tall lanky bod revs my engine. Not only are you a handsome son of a gun but you have the personality to match which makes me lust after you even more. I LOVE YOU!!!!!
^^^ Swoon. He’s so cute! :*)
So there you have it, this week’s Man Crush Monday: Will Arnett Edition! Who is everyone’s #MCM this week? What is your favorite Gob quote on Arrested Development? I wanna hear from all of you, so leave me a comment and let’s chat! Much love. -Sarah
Helloooo everyone and welcome to the newest edition of Man Crush Monday – Adam Scott style! Mr. Scott has made me swoon as douchebag brother, Derek, in Step Brothers and sweetheart soulmate to Leslie Knope on Parks and Recreation, Ben Wyatt. Take a look at the classic “Sweet Child O’ Mine” scene from Step Brothers and then let’s discuss:
Dear Adam Scott,
Oh Adam, you darling sensitive man, you! I was introduced to your cuteness and Vanilla Ice lip syncing self in Step Brothers and I have been so fond of you ever since. It was such a treat to see you in Hot Tub Time Machine 2, which my boyfriend and I watched recently – we replayed the scene of you majorly tripping so many times! And please, PLEASE don’t even get me started on my deep love for you on Parks & Rec. My mom and I freaking adore your character, Ben Wyatt. His adorable picture perfect relationship with Leslie Knope is the most precious thing on the planet. You play his sweet and incredibly nerdy character so well and you and Amy Poehler were absolute gold together. Not only are you an amazingly talented actor but you’re also amazingly handsome! Hubba hubba, sir. Your staggering good looks are unmatched and I can totally see why Leslie Knope has a strong yearning for your butt on Parks & Rec!! Keep being the funny, charming, gorgeous guy that you are and I think that your Hollywood career will be just fine! I LOVE YOU!!!
^^^ Oh-em-gee that hair!!!! ❤
So there you have it, this week’s Man Crush Monday: Adam Scott Edition! Who is everyone’s #MCM this week? What is your favorite cute moment between Ben and Leslie on Parks & Rec? I wanna hear from all of you, so leave me a comment and let’s chat! Much love. -Sarah
Hellooo everyone and happy Monday! I hope all of you had a wonderful and relaxing weekend! So something kind of crazy happened this weekend that is so out of character for me that I have a hard time believing it myself…I took my acrylic nails off. Those of you who are familiar with my blog will know that I am (was) simply obsessed with my longer than life talon-esque fake nails, but something happened this weekend that just made me snap. Check out the story behind my breaking point and then we can mourn in my loss together:
On Saturday everything was running smoothly. I had a great few days with my boyfriend that I returned home from in the morning and my mom and I had a lovely shopping outing in the evening. But then…then a tragedy happened. As I was sitting on my bedroom floor scrolling through Facebook on my iPod something inside of me made me get up from my laziness to go downstairs and work on homework. I reached my hand back onto my bed to hoist myself up and then CRACK, the acrylic on my left hand middle finger broke clean in two.
“Well shit,” I thought to myself, “what am I going to do now”? It was too late for my salon to be open and it’s closed all day on Sundays (the following day). Then all kinds of thoughts began swarming in my head. Should I hold out until Monday and get it fixed? Should I bite the bullet and go to a different salon tomorrow? And then I began to inspect my natural nail that was visible from my unfortunate uh-oh. My nail was brittle, cracking, and dry as a bone. Honestly, I wasn’t surprised…I haven’t worn my nails natural since November of 2014 but I had no idea that they were that bad.
Upon further inspection of my nails, I decided that they desperately needed some TLC. After I made this realization I took a deep breath and began to gather the supplies needed to take my claws off at home – because after I thought about it, I refused to pay ten to fifteen dollars for something I could do from the comfort of my own bathroom. I grabbed a glass bowl big enough to fit both of my hands in, acetone nail polish remover, and nail clippers then I headed into the loo to take care of business.
I sat my sweet ass on the floor of the throne room and got to work by clipping my acrylics down to the nub. This was painful physically and emotionally. My clippers are obvs not salon quality so I had to apply hella pressure to get my nails declawed. With every snap crackle pop of the acrylic being cut off my heart sank deeper into my butt….But finally, the deed was done. I filled my bowl with the nail polish remover, pulled myself together, and descended downstairs to watch Arrested Development as my nails soaked off.
After my TV time, my nails were loose enough that I could pry them off and just like that, my acrylics were gone. I stared down at my bare hands and looked at them as if I were seeing them for the first time. “Jesus Christ…What did I just do?” I continued to gaze down at my nails with a critical eye and all I could see were stubby fingers and the most unhealthy nails ever and I seriously could have cried. After a “you’re a strong independent woman who don’t need no nails” pep talk, I did what had to be done…Apply enough lotion to fill up a bathtub onto my hands, put some socks on over them, and walk around my house performing sock puppet theater. #Ihatemyself
The next few days without my nails were weird, to say the least. Texting on my phone and typing on the computer without hearing my claws clacking away felt foreign and strange. Running my hands through my hair without feeling my talons grazing my scalp felt uncomfortable. Even scratching an itch with my bare nails felt unfamiliar. I was so lost…and then I got used to it.
I took my acrylics off for a reason, which was to get my natural nails healthy and damnit, that’s what I’m gonna do. It will definitely take some time to grow accustomed to life without my long fake nails, but that’s okay. It’s going to save me money to not have to get my nails filled every month and most importantly it’s going to get my real nails back to normal, which is something I’m taking very seriously. #gosarahgo
So there you have it, this week’s Monday Update: Farewell Fake Nails Edition! Have any of you lovelies had an experience similar to mine after taking off their acrylics or another beauty staple you use? What are some tips that you have for healthy natural nails? I wanna hear from all of you, so leave me a comment and let’s chat! Much love. -Sarah
Helloooo everyone and happy Thursday! So as you guys know, my car AKA the Little Red Love Machine AKA LRLM is my pride and joy. I love my 2012 Mazda 2 hatchback more than I’ve ever loved anything in my life, so when it’s in a dangerous situation I turn into a fierce mother bear. With this disclaimer in mind, you’ll see why I just couldn’t even while driving to school yesterday – ESPECIALLY in regards to senior citizen drivers. Do I sound bitchy yet? Don’t care, so get ready for the rant of a lifetime in “I Can’t Even – A White Girl Memoir”.
First things first, I am ALL for old people driving for as long as they can but there comes a point when they are a straight up danger to themselves and everyone else on the road. During my drive to Cleveland for class on Wednesday I encountered two problematic situations – one that was uber annoying and one that was one hundred and three percent dangerous. Let’s discuss:
Annoyed & Angsty: I started my drive on Wednesday feeling really good. I had a nice full tank of gas, a fresh coffee, and I had plenty of time to get to school with at least twenty minutes to spare to study for my French test. Everything was smooth sailing until I got on the road I take to get on the highway. For a long stretch of the street, the speed limit is 45, so other drivers and myself included are usually going a solid five to seven MPH over. Unfortunately, this common vehicular courtesy did not apply to the old timer in front of me who was going at least fifteen MPH under the speed limit, traveling at roughly thirty MPH. I. Was. LIVID.
So I’m driving along, still trying to put the pedal to the metal to get this geezer moving and he literally wouldn’t budge. Thanks to my bad luck of getting stuck behind this guy, a road that usually takes me ten minutes to drive on took me an extra five to seven minutes, dwindling my study refresher session time lower and lower. Now some of you guys are probably thinking “big deal” and in the long run, it isn’t that huge of a deal. But what if it was you who was potentially going to run late for work, class, or a date? Wouldn’t you be pissed too? I can see someone driving at the speed limit exactly but fifteen under?? Jesus.
Irritated & Endangered: Finally, I lost my senior citizen friend once he turned down the street and I was back in business. I made it to the traffic light before the highway and would be the first to drive off to the Tri-C sunset as soon as it turned green. “Yes!” I thought to myself, “what could possibly go wrong now?” ….Apparently a lot.
The light changed to green and I fired up the LRLM engine for a highway adventure. I got onto the entrance ramp and began to pick up speed when all of a sudden BAM, I slammed on my breaks hard. Everything in my passenger seat went flying to the floor and my heart was racing a gazillion miles a minute…I was stuck behind another old timer. This is no exaggeration when I say that this driver was going at approximately twenty MPH on a highway entrance ramp.
I am SO thankful that I have extremely fast reflexes and could hit my breaks in time because there was no way I could have seen this vehicle from farther away. The car was beyond the curve of the ramp, so it was out of my line of vision – but when I made the curve coming in hot at close to fifty MPH the car was right fucking there. Not only am I thankful that my breaks were functional and efficient enough to bring my car to a full stop from such a high speed but I’m so lucky that there was no one behind me either. If there was another traveler behind me, there is a very good chance he would have rear ended me, slamming me into the slow poke, and totaling my car completely.
At first I was shaken up…I could have been in a potentially life threatening accident. But then, I was infuriated. I was enraged that this senior citizen who clearly couldn’t use the entrance ramp properly was even there. Everyone knows that those ramps are there to get you close to highway speed before getting on one so how can that happen if someone is going at twenty MPH??
Everyone thinks that it’s the fast drivers that cause the most damage and that’s probably true but slow drivers are just as dangerous. I’m not writing this post to be mean or say that all old people can’t drive, but my god, there should come a point when they shouldn’t be on the road anymore. I am a firm believer that everyone beyond a certain age should have to take some sort of driving test to keep their license to prevent the situations that I encountered yesterday. I’m so happy I got to school safe and sound but I’m still so fired up about the whole thing and I really just CAN’T EVEN.
So there you have it, I Can’t Even – A White Girl Memoir. This rant was something I really needed to get off of my chest, so thanks for letting me ramble! Has anyone had a situation similar to mine while driving? How do you feel about mandatory driving tests after a certain age? I wanna hear from all of you, so leave me a comment and let’s chat! Much love. -Sarah
Howdy everyone and happy Monday! So as you may have noticed, I had an unannounced MIA hiatus this weekend that was purely unintentional. This Monday Update will shed some light on where Lil Red was hiding out at and inform you about all of the other exciting news that I have to share! Enjoy some tunes to hype you up this morning and then let’s discuss:
Last Friday rolled around and things were going just PEACHY. I was working on some homework, sippin on that Arizona green tea, and living my life like the baller I am. And then…something went wrong. I tried to print an assignment with the household wireless printer and unfortunately it didn’t work. I pressed the “print” button at least seventy-three more times only to find that my button clicking effort was made in vain. So I did what any normal twenty-one year old would do…I called my mom for help. #MOMMMMMMMM
Mother dearest entered the dining room on a “fix the printer” mission and that was when things took a turn for the worse. Good ol’ mom began to utilize the classic technique of pressing buttons and unplugging and replugging cords back into the sockets. With all of the powering off and on and pressing every button that looked helpful, the internet ended up shutting down entirely. Don’t ask me how, because I don’t know. And quite frankly, it probably wasn’t even my mom’s fault but everyone at home is enjoying telling her that she broke the internet so we’re just gonna go with it! 😉
Thanks to my mother breaking the internet, I was without the world wide web for the weekend. This prevented me from doing homework, answering to possible clients to write for on Facebook, and most importantly keeping in touch with all of you! But thanks to a handy helper from our chosen internet company, things are back in business at the Lil Red residence. So no, I didn’t make a spur of the moment road trip to Utah or have an unfortunate twenty-four hour flu that left me bedridden…I was just MIA because my internet was down. OH THE CALAMITY! #firstworldproblems
In other news:
Yesterday was my one month anniversary with my boyfriend, Kyle, so that’s nice! One month went by really quickly and things are going just swimmingly – so keep your fingers crossed for a bitch that they stay that way!
Everything at school is also going really well, too! My classes are swell, my grades are rockin, and I have no complaints!
I have a lot of really cool potential clients that might be featured on lifewithlilred, so keep your eyes peeled for more info on that!
So there you have it, this week’s Monday Update: Unintentional MIA Edition! I hope all of you had a great weekend and an even better start to your week! What was the craziest thing that happened to you this weekend? Who has a case of the Mondays today? I wanna hear from all of you, so leave me a comment and let’s chat! Much love. -Sarah
Hellooooo everyone and TGIF! If you’re familiar with my blog, lifewithlilred, then you’ll know that I have a deep love for the hashtag. No, I don’t have a Twitter, where the hashtag is most commonly found…But that doesn’t stop me from finding it hysterical to post witty words and phrases next to the number sign! Take a look at this funny Jimmy Fallon video on hashtags and then let’s discuss:
Throughout my blog, I primarily use four hashtag phrases to get my point across. They are: #shameful, #blessed, #ihatemyself, and #FML. I thought it would be fun to elaborate further on these by listing some situations where the use of my favorite hashtags are appropriate. Let the hashtagging commence!
#shameful:
I ate five items off of the Taco Bell menu and I’m still hungry. #shameful (and sad but true)
I wet the bed one time when I was seventeen. #shameful (also sad but true)
I find joy in eating spoonfuls of mayonnaise when I’m feeling blue. #shameful
Shania Twain karaoke in the shower is how I start my day every day. #shameful
#blessed:
Four green lights in a row. #blessed (compliments of Parks & Rec)
After an extremely stressful day, I’m so thankful that my BFF, Pizza Hut, was there for me. #blessed (true story, too)
My thunder thighs prevented my phone from dropping in the toilet. #blessed
I called my home nine times in a row and no one picked up the phone. #blessed (also true)
#ihatemyself:
I still make Santa Claus beards out of bubbles when I take a bath. #ihatemyself
Nothing is better than pouring nacho cheese all over yourself on a hot day. #ihatemyself
I read porno mags as my bedtime stories. #ihatemyself
When I get lonely I stroke my hairy legs and pretend that they’re a dog. #ihatemyself
#FML:
Walked an entire mile on hot coals. #FML
Got caught digging deep in my butt to pick a wedgie while grocery shopping. #FML
Got too turnt. Slept in a sewer. #FML
Winked at my crush. He thought I was twitching. #FML
^^^ Favorite Parks & Rec episode EVER!!!
So there you have it, some of my favorite #Hashtags and situations where they are not only appropriate but necessary. What are your favorite hashtags to use? What situations can you come up with where #shameful, #blessed, #ihatemyself, or #FML is tweet-worthy? I wanna hear from all of you, so leave me a comment and let’s chat! Much love. -Sarah
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