Tag Archives: whatever

Monday Update: Therapy Edition

Standard
Monday Update: Therapy Edition

Hi everyone and welcome to another week here on lifewithlilred! As many of you have shown an interest in my therapy journey, here is an update. Meh, it’s going so so. I feel like I have hit the metaphorical wall where nothing seems helpful and I’m running out of things to talk about. And, I’m getting frustrated with rehashing the same shit just worded differently all of the time.

I’ve actually been playing around with the idea of not going after the few appointments left that I have scheduled. But, I feel like that’s a bad idea. Maybe once every two weeks would be a bit better. I don’t know, it’s just becoming more of an annoyance than anything, and I feel like I’m getting even more pissed off by my weekly visits.

Obviously, there’s still a bunch of stuff in the ol’ mental health department that I need to work on, but I just feel kind of burnt out. Like I’m so micro-focused on it that it’s making me even more depressed, anxious, and just all around angry. I feel like I need a break. I guess that will just be something to chat about during this week’s session, amIright?!

Who else has felt similarly to the above during their time in therapy? How did you deal with it? I want to hear from all of you, so leave me a comment and let’s chat! Much love. -Sarah

Advertisements

Blah, Meh, Whomp Whomp Whomp

Standard
Blah, Meh, Whomp Whomp Whomp

Heyyy everyone. Is it just me, or is 2018 feeling totally lackluster? Recent single digit temps in good ol’ Akron, Ohio have given me a case of cabin fever to no end and, as the title of this post reads, I am definitely feeling Blah, Meh, Whomp Whomp Whomp. Is it a lack of Vitamin D? Maybe. Is therapy not helpful? No, I wouldn’t say that. Therapy has been going pretty well, actually.

SO WHAT IS IT?!

I don’t know!! The doldrums are so real, though. I just feel so stagnant at the moment, and it’s not a good feeling. Between multiple jobs, one would think that stagnant is the last word to describe my life. Not the case. I feel so bored. So indifferent. I wouldn’t go as far as to say depressed…but it definitely could escalate to that.

I feel stressed about wanting to move out. I feel stressed about feeling stressed. I feel stressed about feeling so below average. And we’re barely even into the new year!! So, what gives? Sometimes, I feel like the new year puts a lot of pressure on people. Pressure to instantly get happy or instantly turn their life around. Obviously, this is never the case. But, it sure does suck on ice when that’s the mindset around the holiday and you feel yourself going backwards instead of forward.

Oyyyy, sorry. I needed to throw myself a little pity party. But, now that the party hat is off, the cake has been binge ate, and I’m still feeling like shit, I guess that it’s time to get back on the horse and try again for a better day tomorrow.

How do you shake away the new year blahs? What do you think 2018 has in store for you? I want to hear from all of you, so leave me a comment and let’s chat! Much love. -Sarah

See You Next Week!

Standard
See You Next Week!

Hello everyone and happy weekend!! I sure hope that all of you are feeling a lot better than I am today. I am in a bit of a rut so I will be on a lifewithlilred hiatus this weekend. BUT, rest assured that I will be back this Monday to bring you all of the latest and greatest. OR maybe even this afternoon or tomorrow if I feel so inclined – you never know!

Tell me good things. What are you up to this weekend? How do you stay positive during a rough patch? I want to hear from all of you, so leave me a comment and let’s chat! Much love. -Sarah

Anti Bath Bomb Blitz

Standard
Anti Bath Bomb Blitz

Hi everyone and happy Sunday! The last of my TJMaxx haul ends on a bit of a sour note because the other bath bomb that I got sucked on ice. When I got the three dolla holla Chocolate Kisses bath bomb by the UK brand, Bomb Cosmetics, I thought that I was in for a treat. Even through the wrapper, the product smelled delicious and I thought that my bath water would turn into a frothy, aromatic delight. Boy, was I wrong. Check it out:

bomb1bomb2bomb3

When I put this bath bomb into the water, it initially smelled SO good. It was like opening a bag of Hershey Kisses and breathing it in before eating every single one of them. Unfortunately, after the two or so minutes that it took the bath bomb to fizz out, the smell disappeared completely. Major bummer.

The chocolatey aroma that I was left without would have almost been okay if anything cool happened to my bath water, but that wasn’t the case, either. The color didn’t change at all and the illusion of chocolate sprinkles seen in the last picture makes the water look more dirty than inviting. Whomp freaking WHOMP. -___-

I can’t say that I’m too upset about this bath bomb disappointment because I was still excited to try it and it was only a whole three dollars. BUT, if I do see more Bomb Cosmetics products at TJ’s, I don’t plan on wasting my money again. Are their other bath bombs better? Maybe. But I wouldn’t risk trying it again when my Chocolate Kisses one failed so miserably.

Although my haul ends with an Anti Bath Bomb Blitz, I still had a blast shopping and trying out my new goodies thanks to TJMaxx! Which bath bomb brand do you prefer? What is the coolest bath bomb that you have ever used? I want to hear from all of you, so leave me a comment and let’s chat! Much love. -Sarah

Panty Problems

Standard
Panty Problems

Helloooo everyone and happy Monday! I hope that all of you had a wonderful weekend and a lovely Mother’s Day if you celebrated! I have to tell you guys, I am having some MAJOR Panty Problems up in here, up in here. Your girl has needed some new panties for a while now and I decided that this was the weekend that I would make the panty purchase. My mom and I were going to go up to Belden Village, which is a mall about a  half an hour away from us in Canton so that I could shop at Aerie and I was really excited!

Unfortunately, no other malls near me have an Aerie, which is a damn shame considering it’s my normal panty stomping grounds. But that always has been okay with me because Belden Village is my favorite mall to shop at. Before my faithful sidekick – MY MOM and I left, she also treated me to an Aerie gift card as an early birthday present so that I could get my panty on. It was basically the sweetest thing ever and I was so ready to hit the road so that I could revamp my panty drawer ASAP.

SO, we got to the mall and we went to Aerie and it was essentially the most disappointing moment in my life because every single panty there was nowhere close to moving me on a spiritual level . Like, seriously? I have this here gift card and have made the trek to the mall and literally Not. One. Single. Panty. spoke to me. I couldn’t believe it.

I have never not had good luck at Aerie when it comes to panties, but here I was being surrounded by these…these…panty imposters with a gift card burning a hole in my pocket and NOTHING to spend it on. I was in shock. I was disappointed. And I was simply beside myself in mourning for the current uselessness of my gift card and the fact that my panty drawer would be none the better that night.

We walked out of Aerie and I felt dejected and defeated but I figured that we might as well look at Victoria’s Secret, since we were at the mall. I’m not a huge Vicky S fan when it comes to panties. Frankly, I think that they’re an absolute rip off – but at this point, I felt like I needed something and Victoria’s Secret beckoned me into their pink and black emblazoned store with the promise of severely overly priced panties. And like a sheep walking into the slaughter, I entered the store.

Oh, Victoria’s Secret. A store full of sexy little underthings for prices that you could probably buy a kidney with off of the black market. Don’t get me wrong – all of my bras are from Vicky S. I’m just a ballin on a budget kind of gal. I’m more than willing to shell out for a nice bra but panties are just a different story, which is why I’ve always shied away from purchasing them from Victoria’s Secret. But, there I was, Angel Card in hand and a whole store of panties to pick from…

And I hated all of them. Every single panty there that was on some type of a promotion did nothing for me. Similar to Aerie, they were all just blah. But guys…guys…I really felt like I needed to buy some freaking panties – so what did I do? I made my way to the most expensive table of panties which were three for thirty-five or something along those lines and began to hunt for the perfect pairs because it was the only table in the store that I even remotely liked.

After about five minutes, the deed was done and I made my way to the register. The total came close to forty dollars and I just had to stare at the price for a minute, like a cow looking on to an oncoming train. And, I swiped my card and exited the store…

Instantly, I felt like I had made a big fat mistake but didn’t say anything until we got into the car and were on the highway. I then made the announcement that “I have no idea why I just bought those”. It was obviously a moment of weakness because I genuinely see no justification in spending forty dollars for three pairs of panties and I ended up returning them at a nearby mall the next day.

Long story short, my Panty Problems have been a source of much grief and woe this past weekend and here I stand, STILL PANTY-LESS. G DMXCN SMZDNCDCLKSANCKMASJM AHHHHHHHHHHH. Okay. Wow, I really needed that. Anyways, I guess the moral of the story is to not buy something because you feel obligated to (ESPECIALLY expensive panties), patience is a virtue, yada yada yada. And I guess I’m just going to have to wait until Aerie’s panties don’t completely suck until I spend my gift card. *Patience is a virtue, patience is a virtue, patience is a virtue.*  Smh. The End.

So there you have it, my Panty Problems for the weekend, which is obvs enough to last a lifetime! Where do you get the cutest panties from? How about the best bras? I want to hear from all of you, so leave me a comment and let’s chat! Much love. -Sarah

I’m NOT Lonely

Standard
I’m NOT Lonely

Hi everyone and happy Sunday! So, I’m not sure if those of you who aren’t my friends on Facebook are aware but my year and a half long relationship ended (by me) a few months ago. And, believe me, I’m fine. Even if I wasn’t the one doing the dumping, I think that I would be fine. But, the absence of someone who you used to talk to every day for the past year and a half is a little bit difficult to deal with.

I was having this conversation over drinks with my sister last night and I swear, I must have emphasized to her that “I’m NOT Lonely” at least five times. Because I’m not. Really. However, a void has definitely now been made in my life from the time that I used to spend hanging out with and talking to my former significant other. It’s not a feeling of loneliness but I’m more left with the feeling of “what do I do now?”.

It’s just freaking annoying. Like, when you have a boy or girlfriend, you have a built in social life from it. Dinners, movies, drinks, or just simply hanging out. But, once the break up happens, you are left to your own devices. I guess this wouldn’t be a problem if I had a buttload of friends but, in all reality, I have like three people that doesn’t include my sister that I like to spend time with.

It’s weird, because everyone thinks I’m this little social butterfly – but I’m so not. I’m actually quite shy when it comes to new people. I’m not the girl who’s going to go strike up a conversation with a stranger and I’m definitely not the girl who’s good at making friends. So, that kind of leaves me floundering around trying to figure out what to do next.

The way I’m feeling right now is really conflicting because I am totally content with my social life. I am able to see my girlfriends at least weekly, which is super nice. I love going to the bar, the mall, movies, or whatever with them and we always end up having a lot of fun. So why do I all of a sudden feel like I need a brand new friend group? After typing this out, I guess I am trying to “fill the void”, so to speak. It seems that now, it’s more of a matter of finding productive things to do to help use up some of this newly gained free time. Blogging, planning my Europe travels, et cetera.

Wow. Okay. Good one sided talk, everyone! Glad we had it. So, to emphasize again, I’M NOT LONELY:

lololol.gif

Lolol, JK. I just need to focus on doing some things that make me happy rather than focusing on such an apparent loss of someone’s company. Yeah? Yeah. How have you dealt with the post break up void? Has anyone ever felt similarly to what was described in this post? I want to hear from all of you, so leave me a comment and let’s chat! Much love. -Sarah

I Still Get Jealous

Standard
I Still Get Jealous

Heyy everyone and TGIF! Have any of you ever gone through your social media pages and have just felt insanely jealous of people? This happens to Lil Red on occasion and it really grinds my gears. It’s one of those things where you see everyone and their brother on your friends list being happier, better, prettier, etc than you and it can really get a gal down. So what brings on these feelings? What can you do to remedy them? Take a listen to an ironic choice in music and then let’s discuss:

^^^ I had to!

This past week I saw that a girl who I went to high school with was studying abroad in France and Italy and it made me SO insanely jealous. That’s one thing that I would love to do and that I have mentioned frequently on the ol’ blog and to basically anyone who will listen. A thing about me is that when I want things, I want them ASAP. So to see someone who is my age essentially living my dream kind of killed me. It can be hard to see people doing something that you want so desperately while you’re sitting in Akron, Ohio being miserable. -__-

As soon as I became green with envy over this, I began to evaluate my life and what I was doing wrong. I was turning the pages in my mind of everything that I could be doing and that just made me feel even worse. I then made a mental list of everything that I do and all of the responsibilities I have and it felt like a slap in the face. I was doing what felt like a lot but I still couldn’t have this one thing that I really want.

My mental list ended up looking something like this:

  • Attending school full time at Tri-C.
  • Coaching figure skating for the Special Olympics.
  • Transporting both of my siblings who can’t drive multiple times per week.
  • Working as a freelance writer for different companies, artists, and musicians.
  • Doing consultations for individuals who would like to start their own blog.
  • Working for two different media companies on my social media pages.
  • Working for the Ohio Board of Developmental Disabilities to make sure that everyone is receiving the best care possible.

With all of these things stacking up in my day, I barely have time to breathe but it still didn’t seem good enough. But then I started to think about how I work my ass off every day and am doing so much to improve the lives of others. I reminded myself that it will be my turn to travel soon enough and that it would be all the more sweeter when it finally does happen. Then the mental list began to shift and it looked more like this:

Mental list take two:

  • I work hard at school and have gotten all A’s since I began college last year.
  • I bring joy into the lives of my skaters and their families.
  • I help improve the quality of life for others.
  • I get both of my siblings to where they need to be when they need it.
  • My freelance work has been really taking off and I have the articles, followers, and media companies that I work through to prove it.

Yes, it does suck when you want something that you simply can’t have. It also sucks even more when you see someone with what you desire so much. However, all I can do is keep on going because I am making great strides on my own even if I don’t feel that way sometimes. It can be hard to remember that at times but when I do it definitely helps easy my jealousy!

In the words of Nick Jonas, “I Still Get Jealous”, but that won’t stop me from continuing to keep on trucking and working hard! What is something that makes you jealous? What do you do to help with those feelings? I wanna hear from all of you, so leave me a comment and let’s chat! Much love. -Sarah