Tag Archives: bummed

See You Next Week!

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See You Next Week!

Hello everyone and happy weekend!! I sure hope that all of you are feeling a lot better than I am today. I am in a bit of a rut so I will be on a lifewithlilred hiatus this weekend. BUT, rest assured that I will be back this Monday to bring you all of the latest and greatest. OR maybe even this afternoon or tomorrow if I feel so inclined – you never know!

Tell me good things. What are you up to this weekend? How do you stay positive during a rough patch? I want to hear from all of you, so leave me a comment and let’s chat! Much love. -Sarah

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Panty Problems

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Panty Problems

Helloooo everyone and happy Monday! I hope that all of you had a wonderful weekend and a lovely Mother’s Day if you celebrated! I have to tell you guys, I am having some MAJOR Panty Problems up in here, up in here. Your girl has needed some new panties for a while now and I decided that this was the weekend that I would make the panty purchase. My mom and I were going to go up to Belden Village, which is a mall about a  half an hour away from us in Canton so that I could shop at Aerie and I was really excited!

Unfortunately, no other malls near me have an Aerie, which is a damn shame considering it’s my normal panty stomping grounds. But that always has been okay with me because Belden Village is my favorite mall to shop at. Before my faithful sidekick – MY MOM and I left, she also treated me to an Aerie gift card as an early birthday present so that I could get my panty on. It was basically the sweetest thing ever and I was so ready to hit the road so that I could revamp my panty drawer ASAP.

SO, we got to the mall and we went to Aerie and it was essentially the most disappointing moment in my life because every single panty there was nowhere close to moving me on a spiritual level . Like, seriously? I have this here gift card and have made the trek to the mall and literally Not. One. Single. Panty. spoke to me. I couldn’t believe it.

I have never not had good luck at Aerie when it comes to panties, but here I was being surrounded by these…these…panty imposters with a gift card burning a hole in my pocket and NOTHING to spend it on. I was in shock. I was disappointed. And I was simply beside myself in mourning for the current uselessness of my gift card and the fact that my panty drawer would be none the better that night.

We walked out of Aerie and I felt dejected and defeated but I figured that we might as well look at Victoria’s Secret, since we were at the mall. I’m not a huge Vicky S fan when it comes to panties. Frankly, I think that they’re an absolute rip off – but at this point, I felt like I needed something and Victoria’s Secret beckoned me into their pink and black emblazoned store with the promise of severely overly priced panties. And like a sheep walking into the slaughter, I entered the store.

Oh, Victoria’s Secret. A store full of sexy little underthings for prices that you could probably buy a kidney with off of the black market. Don’t get me wrong – all of my bras are from Vicky S. I’m just a ballin on a budget kind of gal. I’m more than willing to shell out for a nice bra but panties are just a different story, which is why I’ve always shied away from purchasing them from Victoria’s Secret. But, there I was, Angel Card in hand and a whole store of panties to pick from…

And I hated all of them. Every single panty there that was on some type of a promotion did nothing for me. Similar to Aerie, they were all just blah. But guys…guys…I really felt like I needed to buy some freaking panties – so what did I do? I made my way to the most expensive table of panties which were three for thirty-five or something along those lines and began to hunt for the perfect pairs because it was the only table in the store that I even remotely liked.

After about five minutes, the deed was done and I made my way to the register. The total came close to forty dollars and I just had to stare at the price for a minute, like a cow looking on to an oncoming train. And, I swiped my card and exited the store…

Instantly, I felt like I had made a big fat mistake but didn’t say anything until we got into the car and were on the highway. I then made the announcement that “I have no idea why I just bought those”. It was obviously a moment of weakness because I genuinely see no justification in spending forty dollars for three pairs of panties and I ended up returning them at a nearby mall the next day.

Long story short, my Panty Problems have been a source of much grief and woe this past weekend and here I stand, STILL PANTY-LESS. G DMXCN SMZDNCDCLKSANCKMASJM AHHHHHHHHHHH. Okay. Wow, I really needed that. Anyways, I guess the moral of the story is to not buy something because you feel obligated to (ESPECIALLY expensive panties), patience is a virtue, yada yada yada. And I guess I’m just going to have to wait until Aerie’s panties don’t completely suck until I spend my gift card. *Patience is a virtue, patience is a virtue, patience is a virtue.*  Smh. The End.

So there you have it, my Panty Problems for the weekend, which is obvs enough to last a lifetime! Where do you get the cutest panties from? How about the best bras? I want to hear from all of you, so leave me a comment and let’s chat! Much love. -Sarah

A Parents And Teacher’s Guide To Teenage Depression

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A Parents And Teacher’s Guide To Teenage Depression

As a parent or teacher, we know that it is normal for teenagers to be moody and sullen. However, it is important to understand when this becomes something more serious. It is a sad fact that the suicide rate in young people is growing, so as a concerned adult you need to recognize the symptoms of depression and understand the pressures your children might be facing.

It may be that you already work in the field of mental health, are considering a career in doing so, or taking one of the masters in clinical mental health counseling programs. Parents, teachers, and counselors are on the front line when it comes to caring for children, and it is vitally important that you know how to help when they are suffering inside. Depression sucks, and here’s a few of the reasons of what might be causing it in your children, students, or friends:

Causes of Depression: Medically speaking, there is still no real evidence as to what causes depression. Genetics may play a part, as is a chemical imbalance in the brain. For the teenager, there are certain factors that can contribute. These include:

Self-Image: Every day, children are bombarded with messages from the media, peers, and social networking on how they should look, feel, and conform. Many young people suffer from body issues when they unrealistically compare themselves to the airbrushed models in magazines and online. If they are not the right weight or don’t have the right clothing, this can be a great source of stress for the teenager, especially when they face bullying because of it.

School: We all know how hard school can be (as if we needed reminding!). It is supposed to be a place of learning and growth, however, for some young people, the only knowledge they are getting is that they are not good enough. Fitting in with peers, broken relationships, dealing with too much homework, studying for tests and exams, and preparing for colleges can add a huge amount of stress into your child’s life.

Bullying is a major issue that can affect children physically and mentally. With the rise of social media, so much bullying is done online, with vile private messages and the posting of personal pictures, which the child has no control over. This can give off the illusion of nowhere being safe for the child.

What can you do? For starters, be there to offer support. They may not tell you how they are feeling, but encourage them to talk when appropriate. Symptoms of depression include moodiness, withdrawal from family and friends, lack of passion in things that they normally enjoyed doing, and mood swings. Some of these are normal for a teenager as their bodies change, but they could also be warning signs.

When you talk to your child or student, be open and listen to what they have to say. Do not judge or say something glib, such as ‘snap out of it’ (smh!!). Share your concerns with a doctor and other mental health professionals to ensure that the child receives the help that they need to get them back on track and smiling again.

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What Nobody Tells You (You, Me, & an Eating Disorder Makes Three)

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What Nobody Tells You (You, Me, & an Eating Disorder Makes Three)

Warning: This post contains references to eating disorders (as clearly stated in the title), if that makes you uncomfortable then don’t read it!

Hey there everyone and happy Hump Day! So I got a lot of really positive feedback from a bunch of people about my post What Nobody Tells You (A Self Harm Story), so I figured why not make an eating disorder edition as well. As most of you know already, I was an avid bulimic for over three years. I haven’t had a slip up in quite some time, but that doesn’t change the fact that purging crosses my mind constantly. There were so many things that I wish people would have told me before I started a downward spiral into an eating disorder, but I had to learn all of it on my own. So consider this post a battle tactic of me trying to scare any of you who are considering bulimia out of it – because it truly is a life ruiner. If someone would have told me everything I’m about to tell you, maybe my situation today would be a lot different. Nobody told me that my fingers would prune after twenty minutes of being shoved down my throat. Nobody told me that the smell of vomit would linger on my fingers if I didn’t pull them out if my mouth in time. Nobody told me how completely unglamorous bulimia was. It’s not a “super model” disorder by any means. There’s nothing beautiful about your back cowering over a toilet with a tear streaked face. There’s nothing sexy about yellow teeth and remnants of puke around your lips. Nobody ever told me that the sound of retching could be heard over the shower tap running, causing my mom to have to monitor my showers and when I used the restroom. Having your mom standing sentinel outside the bathroom door so you don’t puke your brains out is the polar opposite of living glamorously. No one told me that the dentist would be able to tell I was bulimic by the acid erosion on my teeth. No one told me that getting x-rays on my throat is recommended because I could be giving myself cancer of the esophagus. No one ever told me that all of the pleasure of eating would be wiped out completely once you sold your soul to throwing up after every meal. No one told me that constant acid reflux would leave my breath smelling like vomit all day. And most importantly, no one ever told me that my eating disorder would become an entirely separate entity. It controlled everything. What I ate, when I ate, who I ate around, absolutely no eating in public, how long I should puke for, how much I should try to puke out – the cycle was never ending. My eating disorder was a cruel, sick dictator who left me feeling worthless and disgusting and filled my mind with thoughts of purging as soon as food touched my lips. I wish I could say that I don’t think about vomiting a lot, but I do. Just like I mentioned with cutting, bulimia is something that I’m going to have to carry with me for my entire life. And just like cutting, it fucking sucks.

If you still feel the urge to purge even after reading my tidbits of what I personally learned from a long struggle with bulimia, then please also remember: Being bulimic can cause so many different types of cancer – the stomach, esophagus, and mouth just to name a few – so keep that in mind if you’re so much as considering starting a life altering and ultimately life shattering disorder.

Like I said earlier, I haven’t had any instances of bulimia for a while, which I am so thankful for. And please remember that I’m always here to talk if you need it and I urge you to get help with your destructive struggles from a friend or professional. Have a wonderful day! Much love. -Sarah

Weekend Update: Sad Edition :(

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Weekend Update: Sad Edition :(

Hiii everyone and happy weekend. As you can tell, I’m not feeling too hot right now. If you can recall from my last post, I mentioned being reunited with someone very special to me during my white girl wasted night, so let me go into further detail about that sob story…

Once upon a time in the winter I had the pleasure of meeting one of the most amazing guys ever. I fell head over heels for him but unfortunately things ended on a somewhat sour note. (Not like I wanted it to, of course.) Anyways, after things ended I never really heard from him again, which really hurt me – but that doesn’t mean that I didn’t think about him often and I missed him very much. Eventually it made me too sad to see his posts on Facebook, so I ended up unfollowing him so I wouldn’t see any of his statuses on my newsfeed, but he could still see mine. #SWAG So during white girl wasted night, after I threw back a bottle of wine AKA “liquid courage” I finally worked up the balls to text him. He replied back, and I learned that he was moving back to Florida this weekend to be with his mom and have a fresh start. We texted for a bit more and he asked if I wanted to hang out, and the answer to that was on obvious YES. I’m honestly convinced that we were supposed to see each other before he left…I mean think about it – if I didn’t drunk text him, I would have never known that he was leaving because he was unfollowed on Facebook and we weren’t in touch. (This is the one time that a drunk text has resulted in something good!) He always talks about how things are meant to happen and whatever and I really think that our final hang out was seriously meant to happen. It was so good seeing him and being able to tell him the things that were bothering me. We could have sat in silence all night and I would have been happy. I cried like a bitch so much that night…I just couldn’t help it. I felt so overwhelmed seeing him again with good and bad emotions and I was drunk so that didn’t help either. My heart aches at the thought of him being so far away, but I’m thankful that seeing him for the last time resulted in happy memories that I can cherish. When I got home yesterday morning, I showered and then proceeded to get into bed to cry all day. Lucky for me, I have an amazing sister because she did her damndest at cheering me up. She took me to Taco Bell, dyed my hair, listened to my sob story over and over again, and cuddled me real good before I fell asleep. She’s obviously the best sister ever. I feel somewhat better, but it still hurts I guess. When I walked into the kitchen a bit ago, I was clearly upset and finally caved and told my mom what was bothering me and instantly started crying again. I’m starting to annoy myself, because I never cry over guys. I’ve never really felt strongly enough about any of the guys or girls who I’ve dated to shed a tear over them, let alone a million. And all in the course of a day and a half? Ugh, hello heartache. I feel somewhat stupid, because we weren’t even seeing each other for that long, but I can’t help the way I feel, ya know? Believe me, if I could control my emotions I would have never let myself be swept off my feet by him. It’s whatever, I guess. Nothing is going to make him come back to Ohio and I probably won’t see him again for a very long time – if ever. I just have to accept it and move on, but it’s hard. It’s so fucking hard. #fml

Alright crew, I’m off to do homework and be a whiny baby for the day so I will talk to you all later. I hope all of you have a wonderful weekend! Have any of you had a situation similar to mine? How did you deal with someone you care about moving away? I want to hear from all of you, so leave me a comment and let’s chat! Much love. -Sarah

Bummed

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Bummed

So I’ve been feeling a little down lately, and it’s really getting to me. The worst part is, is that I’m not really sure why I’m feeling so upset. I mean the only thing I can think of off of the top of my head is feeling a little disappointed about my current job. I just feel like I don’t fit in at the store as much as I’d like to, or as much as I did at PacSun. I’ve only been working there for a little over two weeks though, so I’m trying my hardest to stay positive and shake my slump away. It’s not like I’m saying I want everyone at the store to kiss my feet and tell me how amazing I am, but I would like to be shown the same respect that I try to give to everyone. Has no one heard of the golden rule of treating others the way you’d like to be treated anymore?! It’s just so frustrating when I’m so nice to everyone and I don’t get shown that in return. Even when people are not so nice and welcoming to me I try my best to not reciprocate their meanness. The fact that some people can be so rude and off putting and not even care is so baffling to me. On my worst days where I’m irritable and mopey, I would never EVER put my aggravation on others. My emotions are mine. They’re not meant to be forced onto others so everyone can feel just as shitty as myself. This isn’t me getting on a soap box and saying I’m an amazing person, because I have my flaws, but I’ve never really been in a work environment before where people were mean to me. I’m for the most part very well liked. So I guess it’s throwing me off that I’m getting a major cold shoulder from everyone at the new job. Welcome to the real world, I guess. Ha! I’m just gonna have to grow some tougher skin and keep on truckin. It’s really all I can do now. Who knows, maybe this week will be better. Gotta stay positive! I’m glad that I have a lot of stuff to focus on to keep my mind off of the bummed-out-ness. Today is when I get my entire weeks worth of work for my online classes at Tri-C, so I’ll have a lot to keep me busy this week! On a positive note, school is going fantastic! I’m enjoying myself so much that I’ve already begun considering staying an additional two years to get a Bachelors degree instead of an Associates. I’ve also been playing around with the idea to do one or two one year certificate programs on top of my Associates degree. My high school years sucked, which I’m pretty sure I’ve mentioned a million times prior to this. But if there’s one thing that I really did enjoy in high school (and there weren’t many!) it was learning. I loved being in a classroom and listening to the teachers talk, go through Power Points, and hold group discussions. I loved feeling my brain swell with knowledge after a particularly difficult class. My grades didn’t often reflect on my love for learning because I was having such a hard time personally. But that doesn’t take away from the fact that I would describe learning as fun. It feels so good to feel like I’m putting my brain to good use. I decided that next semester, I’d really like to take some classes on the actual college campus as opposed to doing everything online. I’m looking forward to hearing the lectures and interacting with my fellow students. Fingers crossed that I can make some friends in my classes as well! Tri-C is an insanely diverse school, so it will be fun meeting different people from countless different backgrounds. I feel like half of the fun of the college experience is getting to meet everyone! Whenever I think of all of the exciting stuff with school, it helps me feel more positive about some of the not so great things that are happening. Wish me luck this week at work and please send some good vibes my way!

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Happy Monday! And make sure you check in with me either tonight or tomorrow for my review of tonight’s episode of Dancing With the Stars! -Sarah