Author Archives: lifewithlilred

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About lifewithlilred

Just your average gal blogging an average blog!

Orange You Glad For An OOTD?

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Orange You Glad For An OOTD?

Hellloooo everyone and welcome to an OOTD post brought to you by my BFF birthday outing at Sarah’s Vineyard. When it comes to summer OOTDs, it is so important to dress appropriately for the heat. And, for some, that just means shorts and a t-shirt. Not that there’s anything wrong with that! But, why settle for shorts when you can bust out a skirt or dress without wearing tights underneath! So easy with a breezy above AND below the kneesies, skirts and dresses are perfect for staying cool and still looking oh so chic.

The outfit below features my favorite summer staple that really packs a punch for styling made simple. Take a look:

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^^^ I had to throw that last picture in there! πŸ˜‰

Who? What? Wear?

The great thing about a staple skirt is that you just throw it on, pair it with a crop top and killer shoes, and go. I absolutely adore my body con skort by Zac & Rachel featuring oranges, flowers, and polka dots for a combination that’s totally sweet and summer approved. The stark white fabric against such a bright pattern creates a delightful contrast and it screams fun in the sun… or at the winery!

Because the Zac & Rachel number is a statement in itself, the rest of the outfit didn’t need much for it to work. My go to black crop from Target hit just the right spot above the higher rise of the skirt for an enhanced hourglass shape. And, to create some more body magic, a pair of wedges were a must to give legs for days. I love my Carlos Santana wedges for a more leggy look because of the slingback strap, which doesn’t make an awkward cut off line and provides all the length, even on us short girls.

With a pattern as bold as the one on my skort, I didn’t want to go overboard with accessories. However, I loved the color combo of the oranges with my turquoise purse by Urban Expressions for a sunset style pairing. Big hoops, huge sunnies, and BOOM – you’ve got yourself a slammin summer OOTD.

How do you style a simple but chic summer look? How do you stay cool in your outfits when the warm weather hits? I want to hear from all of you, so leave me a comment and let’s chat! Much love. -Sarah

June 2019 Finishes

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June 2019 Finishes

Helloooo and happy last day of June to all of my darling readers! This month flew by and, for the most part, I really enjoyed myself despite a shitty break up. But, what can ya do? You blog about it and move on, of course! June is an exciting time because of my birthday on the seventh and I loved being able to celebrate with my friends and family throughout the month. The month of June for finishes was pretty lackluster, though, as I only finished two measly products! Take a look and let’s discuss:

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Would I Use Again?

  • Garnier Micellar Water: YES
  • Alba Botanica Hawaiian facial wash: MAYBE

Why/Why Not?

Micellar Water: As per ushe, I finished my monthly bottle of micellar water that I use as a toner and makeup remover. If it’s not broken, don’t fix it and I will continue to have this product in my arsenal until something better comes along.

Alba Botanica cleanser: This face wash that I got from TJMaxx was fairly average. It smelled awesome compliments of the coconut milk but it was a bit too creamy for my liking. It did make my skin feel nice and hydrated but it wasn’t that great at removing makeup, which is what I like for my cleansers to do. However, this bottle lasted me over two months so it was a good value and if it were available at TJ’s I would consider buying it again.

As you can see, I didn’t have much to show for the month of June as far as empties go so I’m sure that July will be overflowing with finishes to discuss at the end of the month!

Which products did you use up this month? What are your thoughts on the above empties if you have used them? I want to hear from all of you, so leave me a comment and let’s chat! Much love. -Sarah

Dear Evan Hansen Review

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Dear Evan Hansen Review

Howdy! This past weekend, I enjoyed an outing with an old theater friend, Sabrina, to see Dear Evan Hansen at Playhouse Square in Cleveland. Despite both of us not loving the musical, it was still a fun day filled with good food, drinks, and wonderful company. I was so happy when Sabrina invited me to see the show because our schedules never work well with each other so it was really nice to make up for lost time. As we are both theater nerds, we were able to have a great discussion about the show afterwards so here is what we thought as well as a brief synopsis (Without giving too much away!)

So, what you need to know about Dear Evan Hansen is the following: A troubled teen who is an outsider at school has homework from his therapist where he has to write letters to himself explaining why it’s going to be a great day. As Evan is printing his “homework” out in the library, an even more troubled teen named Conner snatches the letter and confiscates it after seeing his sister’s name in it. She just so happens to be the object of Evan’s affection but doesn’t know he exists.

A few days later, Conner commits suicide and the letter that Evan wrote is found in his pocket. A web of lies then begins because Conner’s parents obviously want to know who Evan is and he begins to spin a tale of how him and Conner were best friends. This quickly raises his popularity at school with the offset of The Conner Project and, suddenly, Evan exists because of his fake friendship with the kid who just died.

Okay, so the story line isn’t bad, but the writing and staging left a lot to be desired as well as lackluster performances from the cast as a whole. It was interesting to see the phenomenon of everyone instantly becoming “best friends” with someone who just passed. However, the main culprit of this was a girl named Alana and she was SO. FUCKING. ANNOYING. Omg, the scenes with her were just unbearable and I couldn’t stand it.

Another character who really didn’t do it for me was Evan’s mom. It was very tough to invoke sympathy for the mother of a struggling teen when she was so unlikable and all of her slow ballad songs felt lame and drawn out. Honestly, I didn’t feel any type of way about any of the characters because it just felt like they were there saying their lines and singing their songs and then the applause happened and it was on to the next scene. The play felt very disjointed and the flow was off.

A lot of this disconnect felt due to a poor choice in staging. It went from social media news feeds plastered all over moving walls and banners to a tiny room on a rotating circle in a matter of minutes. This felt very high school theater for a Broadway level show and didn’t create any visual interest on stage.

The quality of the script and songs just weren’t that good, either. A powerful message of looking out for the mental health of our teens was overshadowed by plot points that weren’t fully realized and writing that was subpar, at best. I understand that this show got a lot of hype but, frankly, I don’t understand why because I left the theater feeling very unsatisfied with the finale and the plot holes that never got filled.

I never say no to a night at the theater but, I think I could have passed on this one. I would rate Dear Evan Hansen with a five out of ten stars and I can’t say that I would recommend going to see it. If you’re into sappy teen musicals, though, I say go for it!

What were your thoughts on Dear Evan Hansen? What is your favorite musical? I want to hear from all of you, so leave me a comment and let’s chat! Much love. -Sarah

Featured Image By: TrustArts

Raising A Happy And Obedient Dog

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Raising A Happy And Obedient Dog

For most of us, our four legged companions are just that… A source of companionship. Indeed, just by existing they do a great deal for us. They cheer us up when we’re feeling down, they help us stay active and in shape, and they never ever forget to show us how much they love us. However, if we want to raise and train a dog to do a specific job, like rescuing us when we need them or simply to be well-behaved while walking them, we need to ensure a particular disposition. Dogs are, in many ways, just like children. While any child can learn virtually any skill in theory, parents need to create the right disposition for learning. Just as all children do not perform equally well at school, not all dogs are apt to learn the skills that could one say save your life.

Here we’ll look at some key factors in raising a happy and obedient dog that will rise to any challenge you set him or her with ease:

It starts with sourcing:

Where your pet comes from plays a huge role in its malleability and eagerness to learn. This is one of the reasons why it’s not advisable to buy puppies from a pet store. 90% of these come from puppy mills which, by necessity, churn out literally thousands of pups every year. Not only does this contribute significantly to an already colossal rehoming issue, dogs from this kind of background are more predisposed to psychological and emotional instability.

Your best bet is to determine which breed is best suited to your intended purpose and find a rescue group or breeder that puts the effort into raising healthy and happy pups. Take this breeder of chocolate lab puppies, for example. The website demonstrates not only outstanding knowledge but genuine care. They even have their own training school. Puppies who have been raised by loving and knowledgeable breeders from day one are likely to be well predisposed to human contact and quick to learn.

Never too young to learn:

Just like children, puppies are never too young to start learning the basic skills which will form a strong foundation for their further training. Obedience training with a qualified professional is a great investment if you want to give your dog the best possible start. Of course, if your budget is limited, there are ample resources out there that will teach you how to run obedience training yourself.

It’s essential to start teaching good habits to your pup as soon as possible. Many habits that are cute and endearing as pups like nibbling your fingers or jumping up to say hello can be barriers to learning for adult dogs.

Socialize, socialize, socialize:

As well as learning, socialization should take place at a young age, too (as soon as the vet deems your dog ready). This will help them to deal with the spontaneity and unknown variables of the outside world. It will help them to understand that new sights, sounds, and smells are normal and nothing to worry about. This will give your dog the confidence and easy nature that makes a great service dog.

Brain food:

Could we achieve great things on a diet of heavily processed cheese burgers, potato chips, and soda? Probably not. The building and consolidation of physical and cognitive skills starts with good nutrition. If you want to get the most out of your dog, it’s imperative that they get the right brain food in their diets that allows them to excel.

Choose a dog food that is high in omega 3 oils which are just as beneficial for cognitive function in dogs as they are in humans. You should also choose foods that are high in antioxidants to protect the brain from damage caused by free radicals. A well nourished dog is far more likely to be obedient, calm, and happy.

Consistency is key:

Finally, it’s absolutely essential to be consistent when training your dog. You love your dog, but you can show them how much you love them without indulging them. Allow them to get away with things or ignore you once or twice in their early years and it will be more difficult to train them effectively later on.

Featured Image By: V via PxHere

Friendly Reminder: DON’T TOUCH ME!

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Friendly Reminder: DON’T TOUCH ME!

Helloooo everyone! This past weekend, I had a late birthday outing with my BFF, Lea, to Sarah’s Vineyard. They were having a summer solstice event the day we happened to go and it was a blast! We enjoyed doing wine tastings and both got a big ol’ sangria to drink while we caught up with each other.

Everything was going just SWELL and it was so nice to be able to hang out Lea because it had been way too long. While we were chit chatting, I thought I felt a bug on my leg, so I turned around quickly to discover it was some woman bent down near my derriere and touching the back of my thighs. When I loudly said “can you NOT?” she replied with “I was just trying to look at your tattoos”. I told her not to touch me and she got all attitudey with “well FINE I won’t look at them” and blah, blah, blah.

It was such an off putting situation to be in and I was left feeling pretty gross. I am used to the dirty looks that I get as a heavily tattooed woman (I have over forty, I think!), but I have never been touched before by a random stranger and especially in such an inappropriate area. Honestly, I just wanted to shove the girl away from me but I kept my cool and remained calm during the situation. However, if she would have continued to bother me, then trust and believe there would have been an issue.

It is NEVER okay to touch anyone without their consent and please remember that those of us with body mods are nine times out of ten NOT OKAY with being touched whether that be on our piercings or tattoos. We are not here to be ogled at and poked and prodded like some kind of circus side show. I thought that this should be an obvious thing, but APPARENTLY NOT! Je-sus. *massive eye roll*

What is something that people bother you about in public? How do you deal with it? I want to hear from all of you, so leave me a comment and let’s chat! Much love. -Sarah

Shaving Secrets

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Shaving Secrets

Hi! During my late birthday outing to a winery with my BFF, she commented on how smooth my legs are. Through BFF telepathy, we both shaved the night before our hang out and my legs were definitely a lot smoother in comparison to hers. She asked for my secrets and also looked through my bathroom once we went to my apartment to see my shaving supplies, lol!

After bequeathing my knowledge onto her, I realized that this would make a great blog post. So, here I am to share my tips for the closest shave ever with you!

Use a men’s razor:

You have not experienced a close shave until you’re using a men’s razor. I swear by the razors by Gilette and refuse to use anything different. Men’s razors are designed to give as close of a shave humanly possible for their face as well as to move around gently on the contours. So, it just makes sense that it would work amazingly for the rest of the body, too!

I feel like women’s razors are made to just go in straight lines on the legs but the human body is not perfectly straight. There’s curves and bumps and muscles and a terrain on the body that doesn’t make it that simple. Men’s razors have a lot more movement to them to get all of those difficult areas effectively. Ditch your women’s razor and see an immediate difference just from that.

Take a soak:

I only will shave after I have had a nice soak in the tub. The warm water relaxes the skin and makes your hair stand up, which makes for an easier shaving experience. I enjoy a weekly bath every Friday night with a glass of wine and my music to help unwind after a long work week. There is just too much room for error if you shave in the shower and a bath time shave lets me know that I haven’t missed any spots. No one likes random hairy patches!

Use an exfoliater:

Instead of using a shaving cream, I treat my legs and any other areas of my body that I shave to an exfoliater. It helps loosen up the hair follicles, removes any dead or dry skin, and really helps prep your body for a shave. I used to love the more gel-like scrubs from The Body Shop but, after using a cream based one, I don’t plan on using anything different. Gels and shaving creams dry the skin out but a rich, creamy scrub moisturizes the skin as you go along and provides a much closer shave.

Lotion up:

And, finally, using lotion after you shave is a must. I will cover my whole body in lotion (I like Jergen’s!) after my bath, put on a long sleeved pajama top and bottoms, and then sleep in it for all night moisturizing. When I wake up, my skin is so silky smooth and I don’t feel any type of prickles growing back. And, on the subject of moisturizing – make sure you use a cream based body wash to avoid your skin from drying out, which doesn’t help the cause of smoothness, either.

With my shaving routine, I don’t see any type of noticeable hair growth on my body until at least day four. And, at that point, my bath night is close enough that I can handle a little prickle until then!

What are your shaving secrets? How do you stay smooth in between shaves? I want to hear from all of you, so leave me a comment and let’s chat! Much love. -Sarah

Featured Image By: Rebel Circus

Bath Bomb Blitz: Lush’s Marshmallow World Edition

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Bath Bomb Blitz: Lush’s Marshmallow World Edition

Hi! To conclude my work week this past Friday, I enjoyed a glass of wine, a bath with a Lush bath bomb, and the sixth installment of Saw as I am marathoning the movies. Last week was filled with break up bullshit and I was left feeling pretty down and out, so it was so nice to be able to have an evening just for me filled with things that I like to keep my mind occupied.

I got to use up the last of my bath bomb birthday treats from the darling Kate at Live In The Nautical and I think that I saved the best for last! Marshmallow World was an absolute delight and it certainly offered a jolly good show in my mustard yellow bathtub fresh out of the 1970s, lol. Take a looksee:

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What I really like is when bath bombs have a lot of movement to them and Marshmallow World definitely had that. As soon as I dropped it in the tub, it began shooting all over the place leaving swirling paths of pink and cream in its tracks. And, as the bath bomb got closer to fizzing out, it cracked in half and made the yellow incorporated in it look like two shooting stars. I loved it!

The soft pink, lavender, pale yellow, and cream made for a dreamy palette and the bath water felt rich and moisturizing. It felt so good to take a long soak in the tub, because the colors were really calming. For the first time in all of last week, I actually felt relaxed and somewhat okay and that was a treat in itself.

I would give Marshmallow World an eight out of ten. It was fun to watch, it made me happy to use, and it gave me the R&R that I so desperately needed. This bath bomb would make an awesome gift and I couldn’t imagine anyone not liking it!

How do you unwind after a hard day? Which bath and body products do you use to help you relax? I want to hear from all of you, so leave me a comment and let’s chat! Much love. -Sarah

Vicious Vengeance: Examining Vindictive Exes In Pop Culture

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Vicious Vengeance: Examining Vindictive Exes In Pop Culture

The narrative of the crazy ex-girlfriend is so prevalent that the CW actually made a TV show about it. Other portrayals aren’t as nuanced as Rachel Bloom’s sitcom, which actually attempts to bring a feminist twist to a mostly misogynistic plot device. But a good “crazy ex” narrative can almost be as entertaining asΒ romantic buzz kill movies. So let’s examine examples of crazy ex-girlfriends in popular culture and find what makes them tick. Be careful, hell’s got nothing on these women!

The Woman in “Bust Your Windows”

Jazmine Sullivan released a hit song “Bust Your Windows” in 2008; a cover by Glee a few years later increased its popularity. In the song, an unnamed woman dishes out vengeance when she sees her lover in bed with another woman. But she doesn’t punish him directly. As the title says, she busts the windows of his car. Oof, better find a shop that fixes car windows. As an added bonus, she carves her initials on it with a crowbar. Double oof. Maybe it’s time for an upgrade, unnamed philanderer?

But as lyrics and Sullivan’s crooning voice reveal, she knows that doing so is futile. She’s only committing vandalism to make the man suffer, and that his pain will only be a small echo of the pain he caused her. The lyrics go on to explain that the woman wants this to be a lesson to the man that he can’t treat women that way. As far as “crazy ex” activities go, not unreasonable but also inadvisable to do in the real world, only, whoops, Jazmine admitted in 2016 that she did bust an ex’s windows. *Happens to the best of us!*

Alex Forrest from “Fatal Attraction”

Glenn Close’s performance as Alex was nominated by the Academy Awards. Glenn Close deserves praise for the amount of research and preparation she did to perform that well, but the actress disagrees how the writers treated Alex. Close explains she portrayed Alex as clearly mentally disturbed, a woman who needed help to break free from her obsessive devotion to her married lover. She wanted to play a tragic character whose dark past is the cause of her disturbance.

But the studio and the test audiences both wanted Alex to meet a grisly end and to ensure it, they turned her into THE crazy ex, attacking her lover’s family with a knife and boiling their pet rabbit. Instead of the cheating man getting punished, the mentally ill woman he took advantage of bites it, instead. Before you ask, yes, “Fatal Attraction” was written by a man.

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Amy Elliot Dunne from “Gone Girl”

Gillian Flynn’s thriller novel “Gone Girl” and the film adaptation that stars Rosamund Pike in the titular role caused a lot of debate as to whether or not it’s a feminist narrative. In the story, Amy Dunne is a brilliant woman who is scorned by her underachieving but charming husband. To exact her revenge, Amy frames her husband for her murder. She also expounds on what she calls “Cool Girls.” According to Amy, and by extension Flynn, women change themselves to be the “cool girl” that pleases their man in every way.

Amy changed a lot about her and maintained her body to keep her husband interested. But he doesn’t live up to his end, neglecting her needs and cheating on her. But the way she enacts her vengeance is way too brutal. Not only does she lie about assault and fake a pregnancy, she also murders someone to further her plans.

What makes Amy a feminist character is that she is absolutely right about the “Cool Girl” dynamic. She’s also a strong, intellectual woman who knows her worth and fights for what she believes is hers. But she is a terrible, manipulative, murderous person.Β You can’t get a more complex portrayal of female vengeance than Amy Elliot Dunne.

Inspiring or a warning? The only person who can decide whether these women should be looked up to or locked up is yourself, but before you make your judgment, remember that there is a story behind everything. And hopefully, you’ll speak up the next time you hear someone use the phrase “crazy ex.” Who knows, you might be saving the windows of their car!

β€œElderspeak” Done Right

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β€œElderspeak” Done Right

The elderly population of America is growing these days. The Population Reference Bureau (PRB) report entitled β€œAging in the United States” revealed that the number of Americans aged 65 and above will more than double from 46 million today to over 98 million by 2060. The group’s share of the country’s total population will rise to nearly 24 percent. Which means, it’s time everyone learns how to talk better to the elderly, particularly to their aging loved ones.

Elderspeak: A New Trend?

In an article, The Chicago Tribune talked about the proliferation of β€œelderspeak,” defined as a specialized type of speech younger adults use to communicate easily with their elders. According to the writer, Cindy Dampier, describes it as a β€œsugary tone” that mimics how people talk to pets or small children. It might seem like a harmless form of personal communication. After all, you’re trying to help aging loved ones by adjusting to their communication levels. On the contrary, it’s not always a good idea.

They’re Still Adults:

If you’re trying to open a conversation about Wichita hospice care or other important matters, refrain from talking to them in elderspeak. Keep in mind that the person you’re talking to is an adult who has more experience in life. They’ve raised kids, served their country, directed board meetings, and more. They are still adults who deserve to be treated (and talked to) like adults.

Words Can Have Consequences:

The popular children’s rhyme β€œSticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me” is untrue, especially with older adults (particularly those who are emotionally sensitive). A number of researches reveal that elderspeak can affect an elder’s mental and emotional welfare.

A study from the Yale School of Public Health reported that elders who experienced negative stereotypes associated with aging were more likely to have balance and memory problems. While the researchers didn’t study elderspeak in particular, the participants of the study encountered condescending communication styles from family, doctors, nurses, and other people in the community.

Kristin Willams, RN, Ph.D., of the University of Kansas also conducted a study on the effect of elderspeak on an elder’s health. She reported that aging individuals with Alzheimer’s disease became more resistant to care when people use elderspeak around them.

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There’s a Better Way to Talk:

Communication with aging loved ones can be challenging, especially if they are experiencing physical and mental problems. Still, there are better ways to talk without switching to baby talk for adults. First, be mindful of your tendency to speak down to elders and make a conscious effort to use a tone and words that echo dignity and encouragement.

Second, speak calmly and clearly without raising your voice. Always use a gentle and relaxed tone but talk at a slightly slower pace so that your loved one will understand you. Finally, exercise patience. It’s easier said than done because how the elderly respond to you is out of your control. How you respond to them, however, is in your hands.

There are always better ways to talk to your elderly loved ones. Instead of getting frustrated or subjecting them to elderspeak, a good rule of thumb is to interact with them in a way you would want them to treat you if the tables were turned.

Apartment Do’s And Dont’s

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Apartment Do’s And Dont’s

Hello! It has been a little over two months since moving into my apartment and I have so enjoyed the time spent in my “vacation home”. Apartment life is definitely different than being in your old neighborhood and, in the short while that I’ve been in mine, I feel like I have learned some important do’s and dont’s to make yourself the best neighbor and to fully enjoy your experience in your own place.

Whether you’re moving into a new neighborhood, condo, or San Jose apartments, these do’s and dont’s are good rules to live by. Read on to find out more!

Do: Introduce Yourself

First impressions are key everywhere in life so it shouldn’t be any different in your new digs. Introduce yourself to any of your neighbors that you might see in passing. It’s the polite thing to do and you might end up making a new friend or at least someone you could borrow a cup of sugar from, if need be!

I really like my neighbors and because of good first impressions, I can enjoy hanging out with them every so often for drinks or a chill sesh. This has been nice, especially since I live alone, because that can get a little lonely, for sure.

Don’t: Drive Recklessly

This applies to whenever you’re driving but please be extra careful when driving around the apartment property! Some people in my apartment neighborhood drive like goddamn maniacs and this is super dangerous because of the tight squeezes in the building parking lots and the winding roads to get to each building. You’re not going to get anywhere faster by straight whipping your car around and you could end up really hurting someone in the process. Je-sus!

Do: Be Quiet

A noisy neighbor can make or break the apartment experience for yourself or the people living next to you so keep it down! You are not the only one living in the space so no blasting the TV, music, or screaming matches with your roommate or partner. It is not hard to file a noise complaint, so don’t be surprised if this happens to you if you can’t keep it down. Remember, most apartment walls are paper thin.

Don’t: Forget Your Safety

The first thing that my dad told me when I moved was to always make sure that my doors are locked and I religiously abide by those rules. As well as for my car, too. Safety is key and my apartment community is not well lit so, if I’m coming home once it’s dark already I try to find a light to park under. But, carrying a flashlight isn’t a bad idea for these occasions, either.

It’s a scary world, so do what you can to keep your safety in mind when entering and exiting your apartment. This is also why it’s important to introduce yourself to your neighbors to let it be known that you’re there. That way, they become aware of you and your schedule and could help if something is not quite right. You’re always better safe than sorry!

Apartment life can be a really fun time if you let it be and you can help the cause by following the rules above to make it pleasant for both yourself and your neighbors!

What are some of your apartment do’s and dont’s? Do you have any advice for apartment life? I want to hear from all of you, so leave me a comment and let’s chat! Much love. -Sarah