Hello everyone! Tonight’s episode of American Horror Story: Hotel entitled “Room Service” was excellent! A lot of craziness went down and we gained some new intel on our lovely cast of characters to boot! Let’s waste no time and get started:

The measles mishap: “Room Service” begins in the hospital where the newly turned Alex is a doctor. This season we tagged along as she cared for one of her patients who contracted measles because his mother didn’t vaccinate him. The boy, named Max, appears to be in bleak condition and Alex urges his mother to go get some rest. In the mean time, a weak and blood thirsty lady-vamp goes to the blood supply storage room to drink up and draw some blood of her own. She then tries an unconventional method of curing her young patient by ejecting her blood into his IV. As soon as the blood enters his body his heart rate skyrockets and he begins to convulse…

But fear not! The next morning Alex enters Max’s room to find his bed empty. The boy then comes running in and appears to be good as new. She gives Max’s mother the all clear for him to go home and all is well…until he ends up killing his parents while wearing a pirate costume. #trickortreat

When vampire children attack: After young Max drinks his fill of his parents’ blood he hops on the bus and goes to school to enjoy some Halloween fun. As soon as Max is at school his buzzkill of a teacher reprimands him for having a weapon as part of his costume, a plastic pirate sword, and confiscates it. Max is a tricky little devil though and shows his friend Madeline a real knife he has hidden in his boot. Max then leads Madi into a closet for some chatting and a little k-i-s-s-i-n-g and he ends up biting the girl’s lip. She immediately pulls away in pain and then Max bites his own lip and tells her that “we’re even” and kisses her again so their blood can mingle. #happyhalloween

After the Halloween party at the grade school comes to an end the day’s lessons begin and the teacher finds that Max and Madi’s chairs are empty. She asks her students where they could be and they all laugh and point to the closet. The teacher enters the vampires’ hideaway and as soon as she comes in Max slits her throat and urges Madi to drink her blood. This is when all hell breaks loose. The other students begin getting turned and a little boy ends up falling into the hallway which alerts another teacher. The man enters the room to see what’s going on and Max ends up cutting him too and encourages all of his classmates to drink his blood. “Drink it. It will make you feel AWESOME!” …Well, you didn’t have to tell me twice. #imsold

The teacher whom the kids have all swarmed upon like lions at a gazelle carcass (imagery!) manages to escape and runs to the front office and the school goes on lock down immediately. The SWAT team arrives to find the bodies of teachers strewn across the floor and a bunch of traumatized looking students. Once they clear the building the bloodied kids exit and find their parents. As the detectives begin to speak with them they all tell a similar story of a large masked man who attacked them. These vampirelings be crafty and SHAMEFUL!!

A very Ramona visit: Our last encounter with Ramona Royal ended with her telling Donovan that he was useless to her because he was no longer close to the Countess. But now, Donovan thinks otherwise thanks to his newly turned mom and manager of the Cortez, Iris. He offers his mother to Ramona because she is the best bet they have at taking the Countess down, which Donovan now wants desperately. Ramona is a fan of the plan – “you’re reckless. I like that” she says to her new partner in crime and Operation Take Countess Down is a go! Yeah!

Iris + Cleo = BFFs: Some beautiful bonding between Iris and the fabulous Cleo happens in “Room Service” which was such a joy to watch. As soon as Iris returns from Royal’s, Cleo can tell that something is up. Iris insists that she just needs to get some sleep but Cleo takes her to the bar and pours her some blood into a martini glass…Cleo knows all. After Iris drinks up, the most obnoxiously rude, asshole, hipster couple wants to check in to the Cortez. And when I say that they’re awful, I mean they are aw-ful. They’re the type of hipsters that make me hate all hipsters and they do a fantastic job of pushing all of Iris’s buttons.

After a phone call to the front desk from the couple requesting a food order leaves Iris in tears, Cleo comes to the rescue. “What did they want?” he asks her. Mid-sob Iris replies, “they want pate” cry, cry, cry, cry, cry. Cleo and Iris then head into the kitchen to create some pate magic compliments of the Cortez and cat food and share in a glorious heart to heart about Cleo’s back story.

The life of Liz Taylor: We learn that Cleo, originally Nick Pryer, was a married man who wed his wife because they wore the same dress size and she married him because there was no one else. They had a son together and Nick worked as a medical rep whose responsibility was to shmooze with the doctors during nights on the town. During a trip, Nick and his coworkers ended up staying at the Cortez. That night, the associates went out to a strip club while Nick opted for a night in playing dress up. We see Nick trying on a slip, heels, and fur coat and he gushes that he was “trannnnnnnsformed”. #loveit

In celebration, Nick ordered a bottle of champagne and once he turned to reenter his room, the Countess was standing in front of him clear as day. She tells him that she was watching him as soon as he entered the hotel. “You look like a man and walk like a man but you smell like a woman” she told him. Nick begins to cry, “you’re so beautiful” he sobs. The Countess asks him why he cries to which Nick answers, “I feel ugly”. A riveting pep talk from the Countess follows and she encourages him to “become who you were born to be…a goddess”. #bornthisway

Nick becomes the Countess’ living doll and she gives him the makeover of a life time. She shaves his head, applies makeup and jewelry, and dubs him “Liz Taylor”. Once the transformation is complete she urges Liz to join her for a night on the town but he tells her that he’s not ready. “Goddesses don’t speak in whispers” she tells him, “they scream”. So for a start, Liz goes down the hall to get some more ice and as he returns to his room he runs into his coworkers who call him a “faggot” and threaten him with telling his wife and everyone at the office. The Countess then steps in and promptly slits both of their throats. #BYE

Liz never got turned by the Countess but instead got hired by her and now works as a drifter through the hotel. You can find Cleo at the bar, front desk, or just roaming the halls looking amazing but one thing is for sure…Denis O’Hare is perfection! Tune in to my opinions post on Friday for more on that! 🙂

#byehipsters: Iris comes knocking on the couple’s door with a delivery cart of cat food pate and red wine. After more disrespectful harassment from the guests, Iris ends up killing them both and drinking their blood. After Iris’ kill, she wheels off the bodies to the chute that goes all the way down to the basement with Cleo’s help. She tells her new friend that she feels like a changed woman and that she “never knew how to live until she died”. After the bodies are disposed of, they enjoy the red wine off of the couples’ cart and clink their glasses to a job well done. #waytogo

John Lowe, you’re fired: After John’s disturbing evening as a guest of James March’s Devil’s Night Soiree, we find him talking about the events with his superior. He tells him that he thinks he found a copycat cult that reenacts famous murders and that he believes that March is the Ten Commandments Killer. Lowe’s superior does not seem to be enthused about these findings, however, and reminds him of the psychiatric breakdown that occurred after Holden was kidnapped. This does nothing to add to John Lowe’s increasingly shitty reputation and he ends up getting fired. #suckstosuck John also learns after he wakes up next to Sally that they had some super rough hanky-panky judging by the scratches that he’s covered with and he doesn’t remember a thing. #suckstosuckagain

Alex’s new job: “Room Service” ends with Alex receiving a description of her new job from the Countess. She is to act as the governess to her vampire children and live a life of loyalty to her. “Mommy, you’re just like me now”, Holden tells her. Alex then puts her little boy to bed in his coffin and climbs in with him for some sleepy time snuggles. #socute

So there you have it, the synopsis of the newest episode of American Horror Story: Hotel “Room Service”. How did everyone feel about tonight’s episode? Who loved Cleo’s back story? I wanna hear from all of you, so leave me a comment and let’s chat! Much love. -Sarah