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American Horror Story: Hotel “Room 33”

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American Horror Story: Hotel “Room 33”

Heyyy everyone and welcome to a slightly late synopsis of the newest episode of American Horror Story: Hotel entitled “Room 33”. A lot of new discoveries were made about our hotel guests so let’s get right to it and discuss, starting with the first connection to Murder House that Hotel has featured:

Mama Gaga: “Room 33” starts with a flashback to the 1920’s where we see the Countess walking into the Murder House from season one. The Countess had a bit of a baby problem and went to seek out the abortion doctor, who a friend recommended to her. The doctor started up the procedure with no questions asked and everything seemed to be fine and dandy until he and the nurses realized the baby was still alive. The baby attacked the nurse and the doctor handed it to the Countess who is now the new mother of a baby boy, Bartholomeo. The Countess loves her baby very much and goes to visit him every night in the hotel, donned in ethereal gowns with her hair flowing. Baby Bartholomeo is a tenant in the Cortez as well, residing in room 33.

An unlikely couple: In “Room 33” we are introduced to a new Cortez power couple, Tristan and Liz. We find the love birds having a nice little romp and afterwards they share some touching sentiments to each other. Tristan asks Liz if she loves him to which miss thang replies, “I don’t know. I think so – but goddamn it who can tell when you’re so damn handsome!” Tristan then confesses his love for Liz, but is adamant about reminding her that he’s not gay. Liz then reassures him that when he’s with her, he’s with a hetero girl and begins to cry, “thank you for seeing the girl”, he tells his lover. All of these sweet words are really moving and all but the new pair better look out because the Countess might not take it very well!

John Lowe continues to unravel: Tonight we saw John at his worst, thanks to some assistance from his soon to be ex-wife. John’s episode journey begins when he wakes up to find his son, Holden, laying next to him. “Hi, daddy”, his little boy says and then runs off to the coffin room. By the time John gets there he finds Holden, Alex, and the other vampire children asleep in their designated coffins and then proceeds to faint. (#overdramatic)

Alex, who doesn’t want John to know just yet about her and Holden’s condition decides to give him something to knock him out and gets him back into bed. While John is conked out, Alex enlists the help of Liz to move the coffins so that John doesn’t end up finding them. When John wakes up again he tells Alex about what he saw and his ex plays it off like the visions that he’s been having are because he’s making Scarlett’s memories his own. She then tells John that she thinks that he’s having a mental breakdown and suggests that he gets help. John, however, is not feeling this reaction and takes Alex to the coffin room only to find that they are no longer there. #ohyoucraftyhuh

A very Ramona revenge: Fan favorite, Ramona Royal, is featured in this episode with her partner in crime, Donovan. The duo has returned to the Cortez to “take care of those kiddies”, meaning the vampire children as well as the Countess’s darling baby Bartholomeo. Ramona is ready for action but Donovan has been overcome with an overwhelming urge to sniff the Countess’s panties, so he ends up going to her suite while Ramona seeks out the children in the coffin room…But just as John found out, the kids are no longer there.

While Ramona is in the coffin room, she is joined by Iris, who is there to help commit the deed. “This is no place for children”, Iris says to justify the murders. Ramona is furious by the discovery of the children missing from their sleeping chambers because she knows just how badly their deaths will hurt the Countess because they’re her “reason for living”. But Ramona knows that there’s one more thing that she can do to make her visit to the Cortez worthwhile…kill Bartholomeo. Ramona then asks Iris for the key to room 33 and goes about her business.

RIP: Liz has finally worked up the courage to tell the Countess about her affair with Tristan. “I don’t think you love him…like I do”, she says. “Interesting”, the Countess replies. She then gives Liz a friendly reminder that she doesn’t share but suggests that they go talk to Tristan together. Once they are all in the same room as a majorly awkward trio, Tristan goes into a powerful monologue about how the Countess only likes getting people to fall in love with her just to drop them completely. This seems to hit a cord with the Countess and she shockingly is agreeable. “Fine, you may have him”, she says to Liz. She then bends down to kiss Tristan on the cheek and then proceeds to slit his throat. “He’s yours. Bury him”, she hisses and walks away. #badbitch #jealoussss

Baby Bartholomeo: As mentioned earlier, things are not going too hot for our Detective John Lowe. He is drinking heavily, Scarlett has been ignoring his calls, and he feels rejected by his former job and Alex. His wife can tell that things are continuing to go increasingly wrong for John, so she issues the help of the two foreign dead girls from the season premiere who were in search of Universal Studios.

A quick interaction in the hallway between John and the girls immediately leads to a menage-a-trios…Sweet! But not exactly, because things get really bloody really quick, thanks to the girls cutting and scratching at each other. John has a whack attack and then runs butt-ass-neked and covered in blood into the hotel lobby and spews some nonsense at Liz. He then returns back to his room, packs his bags, and gets the hell out of the Cortez – which is exactly what Alex wanted.

John returns back to his home with a moody Scarlett, whom he picked up from grandma’s…and a baby Bartholomeo? Yes, it appears Baby B escaped when Ramona entered his room in the hopes of killing him and he found his way into John’s suitcase as a tiny little stowaway. John begins to unpack his belongings when he hears Scar crying so he goes to her room to tend to her. Once he is done comforting his daughter he returns to his suitcase and finds that all of the clothes have been dumped out and scattered about. Suspicious and paranoid, John gets his gun – just in case. Once John is armed, he heads down to the living room and is relieved to find Scarlett on the couch enjoying some cartoons. This relief is short lived, however, when he sees a “monster” crawling around from across the room. He approaches with caution, cocks his gun, and begins to shoot.

Naturally, this terrifies Scarlett and after a visit from a former coworker of John’s and Alex, she heads back to her grandma’s. Alex sticks around after Scarlett leaves to suggest to John, once again, that he gets help. Once Alex has said all she needs to say, she turns to leave but hears some rustling in the bushes, which she goes to investigate further. The episode ends with the Countess finding Alex tending to Bartholomeo in room 33. “You saved my son”, the Countess states. “You saved mine”, Alex retorts. She hands the Countess her son and exits and we then see a brief glimpse of the baby boy’s face which is so small. His skin looks plastic and he doesn’t have a mouth. #BabyB

^^^…DA DA DA DA DA DA DA MEET ME AT THE CORTEZ?!

So there you have it, the synopsis of the newest episode of American Horror Story: Hotel “Room 33”. A lot of crazy story lines were initiated in episode six and I look forward to sharing my opinions on all of them with you tomorrow! Until then, what did everyone think of “Room 33”? Who do you think is the Ten Commandments Killer? I wanna hear from all of you, so leave me a comment and let’s chat! Much love. -Sarah

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I’ll Tell You What I Thought, What I Really Really Thought (AHS Episode 5)

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I’ll Tell You What I Thought, What I Really Really Thought (AHS Episode 5)

Hellooo everyone and TGIF! Welcome to the opinions post on the latest episode of American Horror Story: Hotel, which is promised to you by yours truly every Friday. Wednesday night’s episode entitled “Room Service” was fantastic and once again, I really have no complaints – only praises! Let’s begin by discussing the MVP of the episode, Denis O’Hare:

Denis O’Hare’s all star performance: I’ve been saying this from the beginning of American Horror Story as a series and I will continue to say it again: Denis O’Hare is the most underrated actor on the show. Usually, Mr. O’Hare specializes in the oily scumbags of the season, but in Hotel he plays the sensitive yet sassy Liz Taylor and he does it to perfection. In “Room Service” we got to learn the backstory of Miss Cleo and it was just as touching and wonderful as I hoped it would be. Cleo’s back story was a beautiful sentiment to the LGBT community as well as everyone else on the planet.

One specific moment that really stood out to me as we learned about how Nick Pryer transformed into diva queen Cleo was when he cried into the Countess’s arms and told her that he “feels ugly”. I don’t know about you, but I can certainly relate to that. It’s so hard to feel whole when such a big part of your life is a lie. I was so moved by the honesty and rawness that was infused into Cleo’s back story and it was just gorgeous.

Denis O’Hare’s performance was done with such sensitivity that I was almost in tears and I was completely blown away. O’Hare doesn’t get an ounce of the attention he deserves as an actor on one of the most popular shows on television and I sincerely hope that “Room Service” will serve as his big break on AHS. O’Hare’s work as Cleo has been spot on this entire season and I’m just thrilled to see where his character goes from here. Bravo and well done.

ohare

^^^ LOVE

Lady Gaga is less annoying: I was actually very pleased with Lady Gaga’s performance as the Countess in “Room Service”. It’s nice to see Gaga giving us some real acting rather than sex scenes in each episode and I thought she did a great job. Her role in Cleo’s back story was so classic Gaga and all that she stands for and I was happy that she was able to be a part of that. I was so shocked that “Born This Way” didn’t start playing because there wasn’t a better time for some Lady Gaga tunes than during the evolution of Cleo!

There was one scene in “Room Service” that featured the Countess and it was just so deliciously awkward and I loved every second of it. It was when the Countess and Tristan approached Iris at her front desk, dressed to the nines in their Halloween attire. The Countess wanted Iris to deliver a message to Will Drake if he returned to the Cortez that evening but immediately sensed something off with the hotel manager. The vampire queen and her lover then proceeded to have the most intense stare down ever with Iris where they both bent down so their faces were even with hers and kept their eyes locked on her for what felt like an eternity. After they made Iris sufficiently uncomfortable, they swiftly turned away and that was that. Gaga looked spectacular and the scene was so weirdly whimsical and I thought it was flawless.

A grade school vampire epidemic: Alright, first of all – I can’t say that I didn’t see this one coming BUT the newly infected grade schoolers’ feeding frenzy was very well done. I thought the entire sequence from when Max killed his parents and hopped on the bus to when the frightened children exited the school and ran to their parents was delightfully eerie and insanely cringe worthy to boot! I’m not always fond of child actors or when young kids are made to act out such gruesome situations but it worked so freaking well and I just couldn’t turn away.

One of the best parts of that story line was when the kids went full on animal when they started drinking the blood of the male teacher. It was seriously like watching a wild animal devour its kill and it was SO creepy and disturbing but it sure looked awesome. All of the kids looked so sweet and innocent but did such a good job of becoming these vicious little creatures in a scene that felt like it was straight out of a Stephen King movie and I was such a fan.

“You see everything when the world doesn’t see you”. -Liz Taylor

All in all, I thought that “Room Service” was an excellent episode and I’m going to rate it with: Four and a half stars. The reason why the newest episode didn’t receive a five star score was because I thought its pace was a little off in comparison to last week’s “Devil’s Night – Part 1”. “Room Service” flowed well but it wasn’t as sharp and crisp as last week’s fast paced Halloween special. These past few episodes have been stellar and I can’t wait to see what happens next!

I Told You What I Thought, What I Really Really Thought about American Horror Story: Hotel’s newest episode, “Room Service”, and now it’s your turn! How did everyone feel about this week’s episode? Who are some of your American Horror Story all star actors? I wanna hear from all of you, so leave me a comment and let’s chat! Much love. -Sarah

American Horror Story: Hotel “Room Service”

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American Horror Story: Hotel “Room Service”

Hello everyone! Tonight’s episode of American Horror Story: Hotel entitled “Room Service” was excellent! A lot of craziness went down and we gained some new intel on our lovely cast of characters to boot! Let’s waste no time and get started:

The measles mishap: “Room Service” begins in the hospital where the newly turned Alex is a doctor. This season we tagged along as she cared for one of her patients who contracted measles because his mother didn’t vaccinate him. The boy, named Max, appears to be in bleak condition and Alex urges his mother to go get some rest. In the mean time, a weak and blood thirsty lady-vamp goes to the blood supply storage room to drink up and draw some blood of her own. She then tries an unconventional method of curing her young patient by ejecting her blood into his IV. As soon as the blood enters his body his heart rate skyrockets and he begins to convulse…

But fear not! The next morning Alex enters Max’s room to find his bed empty. The boy then comes running in and appears to be good as new. She gives Max’s mother the all clear for him to go home and all is well…until he ends up killing his parents while wearing a pirate costume. #trickortreat

When vampire children attack: After young Max drinks his fill of his parents’ blood he hops on the bus and goes to school to enjoy some Halloween fun. As soon as Max is at school his buzzkill of a teacher reprimands him for having a weapon as part of his costume, a plastic pirate sword, and confiscates it. Max is a tricky little devil though and shows his friend Madeline a real knife he has hidden in his boot. Max then leads Madi into a closet for some chatting and a little k-i-s-s-i-n-g and he ends up biting the girl’s lip. She immediately pulls away in pain and then Max bites his own lip and tells her that “we’re even” and kisses her again so their blood can mingle. #happyhalloween

After the Halloween party at the grade school comes to an end the day’s lessons begin and the teacher finds that Max and Madi’s chairs are empty. She asks her students where they could be and they all laugh and point to the closet. The teacher enters the vampires’ hideaway and as soon as she comes in Max slits her throat and urges Madi to drink her blood. This is when all hell breaks loose. The other students begin getting turned and a little boy ends up falling into the hallway which alerts another teacher. The man enters the room to see what’s going on and Max ends up cutting him too and encourages all of his classmates to drink his blood. “Drink it. It will make you feel AWESOME!” …Well, you didn’t have to tell me twice. #imsold

The teacher whom the kids have all swarmed upon like lions at a gazelle carcass (imagery!) manages to escape and runs to the front office and the school goes on lock down immediately. The SWAT team arrives to find the bodies of teachers strewn across the floor and a bunch of traumatized looking students. Once they clear the building the bloodied kids exit and find their parents. As the detectives begin to speak with them they all tell a similar story of a large masked man who attacked them. These vampirelings be crafty and SHAMEFUL!!

A very Ramona visit: Our last encounter with Ramona Royal ended with her telling Donovan that he was useless to her because he was no longer close to the Countess. But now, Donovan thinks otherwise thanks to his newly turned mom and manager of the Cortez, Iris. He offers his mother to Ramona because she is the best bet they have at taking the Countess down, which Donovan now wants desperately. Ramona is a fan of the plan – “you’re reckless. I like that” she says to her new partner in crime and Operation Take Countess Down is a go! Yeah!

Iris + Cleo = BFFs: Some beautiful bonding between Iris and the fabulous Cleo happens in “Room Service” which was such a joy to watch. As soon as Iris returns from Royal’s, Cleo can tell that something is up. Iris insists that she just needs to get some sleep but Cleo takes her to the bar and pours her some blood into a martini glass…Cleo knows all. After Iris drinks up, the most obnoxiously rude, asshole, hipster couple wants to check in to the Cortez. And when I say that they’re awful, I mean they are aw-ful. They’re the type of hipsters that make me hate all hipsters and they do a fantastic job of pushing all of Iris’s buttons.

After a phone call to the front desk from the couple requesting a food order leaves Iris in tears, Cleo comes to the rescue. “What did they want?” he asks her. Mid-sob Iris replies, “they want pate” cry, cry, cry, cry, cry. Cleo and Iris then head into the kitchen to create some pate magic compliments of the Cortez and cat food and share in a glorious heart to heart about Cleo’s back story.

denis

The life of Liz Taylor: We learn that Cleo, originally Nick Pryer, was a married man who wed his wife because they wore the same dress size and she married him because there was no one else. They had a son together and Nick worked as a medical rep whose responsibility was to shmooze with the doctors during nights on the town. During a trip, Nick and his coworkers ended up staying at the Cortez. That night, the associates went out to a strip club while Nick opted for a night in playing dress up. We see Nick trying on a slip, heels, and fur coat and he gushes that he was “trannnnnnnsformed”. #loveit

In celebration, Nick ordered a bottle of champagne and once he turned to reenter his room, the Countess was standing in front of him clear as day. She tells him that she was watching him as soon as he entered the hotel. “You look like a man and walk like a man but you smell like a woman” she told him. Nick begins to cry, “you’re so beautiful” he sobs. The Countess asks him why he cries to which Nick answers, “I feel ugly”. A riveting pep talk from the Countess follows and she encourages him to “become who you were born to be…a goddess”. #bornthisway

Nick becomes the Countess’ living doll and she gives him the makeover of a life time. She shaves his head, applies makeup and jewelry, and dubs him “Liz Taylor”. Once the transformation is complete she urges Liz to join her for a night on the town but he tells her that he’s not ready. “Goddesses don’t speak in whispers” she tells him, “they scream”. So for a start, Liz goes down the hall to get some more ice and as he returns to his room he runs into his coworkers who call him a “faggot” and threaten him with telling his wife and everyone at the office. The Countess then steps in and promptly slits both of their throats. #BYE

Liz never got turned by the Countess but instead got hired by her and now works as a drifter through the hotel. You can find Cleo at the bar, front desk, or just roaming the halls looking amazing but one thing is for sure…Denis O’Hare is perfection! Tune in to my opinions post on Friday for more on that! 🙂

#byehipsters: Iris comes knocking on the couple’s door with a delivery cart of cat food pate and red wine. After more disrespectful harassment from the guests, Iris ends up killing them both and drinking their blood. After Iris’ kill, she wheels off the bodies to the chute that goes all the way down to the basement with Cleo’s help. She tells her new friend that she feels like a changed woman and that she “never knew how to live until she died”. After the bodies are disposed of, they enjoy the red wine off of the couples’ cart and clink their glasses to a job well done. #waytogo

John Lowe, you’re fired: After John’s disturbing evening as a guest of James March’s Devil’s Night Soiree, we find him talking about the events with his superior. He tells him that he thinks he found a copycat cult that reenacts famous murders and that he believes that March is the Ten Commandments Killer. Lowe’s superior does not seem to be enthused about these findings, however, and reminds him of the psychiatric breakdown that occurred after Holden was kidnapped. This does nothing to add to John Lowe’s increasingly shitty reputation and he ends up getting fired. #suckstosuck John also learns after he wakes up next to Sally that they had some super rough hanky-panky judging by the scratches that he’s covered with and he doesn’t remember a thing. #suckstosuckagain

fired

Alex’s new job: “Room Service” ends with Alex receiving a description of her new job from the Countess. She is to act as the governess to her vampire children and live a life of loyalty to her. “Mommy, you’re just like me now”, Holden tells her. Alex then puts her little boy to bed in his coffin and climbs in with him for some sleepy time snuggles. #socute

So there you have it, the synopsis of the newest episode of American Horror Story: Hotel “Room Service”. How did everyone feel about tonight’s episode? Who loved Cleo’s back story? I wanna hear from all of you, so leave me a comment and let’s chat! Much love. -Sarah

I’ll Tell You What I Thought, What I Really Really Thought (AHS Episode 3)

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I’ll Tell You What I Thought, What I Really Really Thought (AHS Episode 3)

Heyyy everyone and TGIF! The newest episode of American Horror Story: Hotel entitled “Mommy” premiered on Wednesday and now it’s time for my personal opinions on it. There were some things that I loved, some things that I wanted more of, and some things that I didn’t particularly care for, so let’s discuss:

Introduction of Ramona Royal – LOVED: I adore the fabulous Miss Angela Bassett. I think that she’s completely and totally fantastic so I was so pleased that they gave her character an introduction fit for the queen that she is. From the scenes of her campy B-list movies to her kidnapping of Donovan, I thought that it was flawless. I hope that she gives the Countess a run for her money (or lack thereof) because I still can’t get in to Lady Gaga. My fingers are crossed that Bassett gets significant screen time this season to fill the humongous void that was left by my beloved Jessica Lange.

boohoo

^^^ Yes, I used this meme during last week’s opinion post but it just seemed to fit so well after my J-Lange swan song!

Ten Commandments Killer – Want more of: Detective John Lowe is hunting after a serial killer who murders people who break one or many of the Ten Commandments and I am such a fan of this idea. I think that it’s edgy, I think that it’s cool, and I think that I desperately want this story line to develop more. It seems like in every episode we only get a brief look into a crime scene that the TCK left behind and then that plot twist completely disappears. I think that Ryan Murphy and his sublime team were extremely creative with coming up with ways that people could get killed based off of the Ten Commandments. In episode three, for example, Detective Lowe enters an office building for a gossip magazine and all of the employees have their tongues nailed to whatever surface they are nearest to for “thou shalt not bear false witness”. That’s brilliant, now give me more of it!

The Countess’s sexcapades – Hate: I’M SO OVER IT! And I swear it’s not just me who’s dogging on Lady Gaga because of my personal distaste for her being on the show…Literally 99% of the people who I interact with on social media agree that they’re getting sick of every scene that the Countess is involved in being a sex scene. It’s tacky, it’s cheap, and it’s so overdone that I just can’t deal. I have seen literally no real acting from Gaga since her debut on the show which is why I don’t care for her as the leading lady. Anyone could do what she’s doing right now and I genuinely believe that. As soon as I see some range in the scenes that she’s involved in I’ll definitely have more love for her, but until then, I’m over the hump fest.

“No pity party in my bar!” -Cleopatra (And can I just say that Denis O’Hare does not get enough credit on AHS. He’s SO underrated despite his brilliance as an actor. I think he’s doing a terrific job and I wish Cleo was getting more screen time because I’m kind of obsessed.)

Over all, I thought that “Mommy” was good. Once again, it wasn’t “OMG” worthy, but it was good. Every episode since the premiere has been improving slowly but surely so I’m going to give episode three: three stars.

^^^ DA DA DA DA DA DA DA, MEET ME AT THE CORTEZ!!!!

You can catch me at the same time same place next week for a synopsis and opinions post on the new episode of American Horror Story: Hotel. Until then, what did everyone think of “Mommy”? What did you love? What could be improved on? I wanna hear from all of you, so leave me a comment and let’s chat! Much love. -Sarah

American Horror Story: Hotel “Checking In”

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American Horror Story: Hotel “Checking In”

Alright guys, as promised here’s my review and synopsis of the season premiere of American Horror Story: Hotel with the episode, “Checking In”. I think the best way to go about discussing the premiere is simply by introducing the characters who we had the pleasure of meeting tonight and outlining their role so far in the hotel. There were a lot of things that I liked and of course things that I didn’t care for, so let’s get to it:

Agie & Vandela: “Checking In” starts with the arrival of two twenty-something German girls who are in California to vacation at Universal Studios. However, as soon as they walk into the Cortez they instantly get the creeps and are put off by the fact that it’s farther away than expected to all of their vacation destinations. They ask Iris (Kathy Bates) if they could have a refund on their deposit to which she responds with a firm “no”. The girls are forced to stay in the hotel for the night but unfortunately they won’t even make it until then. In their hotel room Vandela and Agie discover a rotten smell which one of them describes as being like a “dead animal”. The girls realize that the smell is coming from the mattress and once they pull back the blankets they find crude stitching going all the way down the middle. They rip it open with scissors and out pops a badly blistered man with white eyes and horse teeth who is contorting and writhing in a most disturbing manner. A complaint to Iris gets the girls a new room and some questionable cleansing methods…

Iris (Kathy Bates): Fan favorite, Kathy Bates, returns this season as Iris, the hotel manager. With a short and brisk attitude we learn that Iris is a pro at covering up all of the dirty secrets of the Cortez. She also has an eye on the handsome John Lowe (Wes Bentley) which comes from the beautiful line she mutters upon meeting him, “woof”. Iris is the mother to the lover of The Countess (Lady Gaga). Her son’s name is Donovan (Matt Bomer) and thanks to a flashback we find out that he was a heroin addict who enjoyed shooting up with Sally (Sarah Paulson). After some stealthy detective work from Iris, she tracks down her doped up son and supplier in a room of the Cortez. Her son appears to be dead or near death and Sally begins to exit the premises only to be followed by Iris and pushed out of a window, falling to her demise. Iris then returns to the room where her son lies to find The Countess lounging beside him on the bed, preparing to turn him and his staggering good looks.

We learn in the premiere that not only is Iris a murderer but she’s also in charge of keeping the blood of the victims who fall to The Countess nice and clean. After Agie and Vandela get a new room from Iris (Room 64) things go all bad. One of the girls is found by the other lying on the bathroom floor with a sweet blonde child cowering over her with a blood soaked mouth. They end up in a chamber trapped in individual metal cages where Iris condemns them for the prescription pills she found in their luggage. She then tries to force the girls to drink a smoothie concocted from oysters, chicken liver, kidneys, and white wine to clean their blood for the consumption of The Countess. What a lady!

Sally (Sarah Paulson): One of my AHS all star favorites has to be Miss Paulson so I was very pleased to hear that she was coming back as a primary player in the Cortez, Sally. Because we know that Iris pushed her out of a window but she’s still somehow alive, I’m assuming that she’s a vampire as well. Sally is a heroin addict who has a soft spot for the captured girls, Vandela and Agie. She releases Vandela and unfortunately she falls right into the clutches of The Countess. In an extremely off putting scene where a doped up young man gets anally raped by a man yielding a spiraled pointed dildo who had latex-like skin, Sally appears. “The more you scream the more he likes it” she warns the stranger. I get the feeling that she has never had anyone in her life that truly loved her considering she begged the victim to “say ‘I love you Sally’ and it will all go away”.

The Countess (Lady Gaga) & Donovan (Matt Bomer): In “Checking In” we are introduced to Donovan and The Countess after a close up on a sign that says “Why aren’t we having sex right now?” The couple is preparing for a night on the town by applying makeup, snorting cocaine, and dressing to the nines. They go to a movie playing at a park where they attract the attention of a young couple. The first major scene to show off Lady Gaga’s acting chops ends up being a full on orgy turned blood bath after her and Donovan slit their throats with their rings with sharp talons attached. The scene closes with the couple lying in the blood of their victims and Donovan says “it’s not the getting ready, it’s the cleaning up” to which The Countess replies, “call housekeeping”. SASSY! I, for one, did not care for that scene at all but that’s just me. We learn that The Countess also has a brood of beautiful blonde haired children whom she’s kidnapped and turned. One of her “children” will definitely be playing an important role in the show, which leads me to discussing his father, John Lowe.

John Lowe (Wes Bentley): John Lowe is a father, husband (to wife, Alex, played by Chloe Sevigny), and detective. He has a daughter named Scarlett and had a young son named Holden. We follow John onto some of the gruesome crime scenes he’s investigating, which I’m assuming are linked to the Ten Commandments Killer. He is a dedicated father though, as we can see when he reads Little Women with his daughter via FaceTime. As he reads to Scarlett he gets a phone call and tells his assistant to take a message. Once he calls the number back we hear a man’s voice on the phone saying that he will be at the Cortez hotel and will kill again. He makes his way over to the hotel and is directed to Room 64 in which he ends up falling asleep and has a vision of his son, Holden, who was kidnapped in 2010. We see a flashback to this moment when the family was at a carnival and John took his son to ride the carousel. He gets Holden safely onto a horse and takes a phone call but when he returns, his boy is no longer there.

A lot of curious incidents happened to John in tonight’s episode like when his sushi dinner with Scarlett was interrupted by a text from his wife’s phone giving an address and saying she needs help. He rushes to the house with Scarlett in the car and leaves her there, telling a cop to keep an eye on her. He ends up in the pitch black home with his daughter following him shortly after. John approaches a man dressed all in black with what appears to be a top hat on his head but then he hears Scarlett scream. He finds her in a room with men hanging from their bed posts with their intestines hanging out of their stomachs. Yum! Due to Alex’s fear that whomever has been contacting her husband will harm their daughter, they both agree that he should go away for a while and the episode ends with John checking into the Cortez in Room 64.

Liz Taylor (Denis O’Hare): Known for his weird as hell characters on AHS, Denis O’Hare returns as cross dresser, Liz Taylor. He pops up everywhere in the hotel – the hallways, behind the front desk, ect. I’m confident that he knows a lot of the hotel’s dark secrets so I’ll be looking forward to the further development of this character!

Will Drake (Cheyenne Jackson): Will Drake is a fashion designer from New York who arrives at the Cortez with his young son and the intention to buy the hotel. His son is befriended by The Countess who asks him if she can show him something he might enjoy. She leads him to a hallway with a trap door that opens into a futuristic room filled with wall length Tetris boards and candy dispensers all being used by her brood of bloodsucking children.

So there you have it, the lowdown on the characters introduced to us on the season premiere of American Horror Story: Hotel. The episode “Checking In” brought us a unique cast of dwellers in the Cortez and an interesting story line so I can’t wait to see what next week’s episode will be like! How did everyone feel about the season premiere? Who loved Lady Gaga’s AHS debut? I wanna hear from all of you, so leave me a comment and let’s chat! Much love. -Sarah