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American Horror Story: Hotel “Flicker”

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American Horror Story: Hotel “Flicker”

Hellooo everyone and welcome to the synopsis post of the newest episode of American Horror Story: Hotel entitled “Flicker”. As you guys know, I don’t care for season five too much but now is not the time for opinions because I’m here to give you all of the facts from episode seven. We learned a lot of new intel on the hotel so let’s get to it:

They’re in the walls, HELPPPP: Tonight’s episode began with Will Drake overseeing the renovations to the Cortez. As he chats with his son about the possibility of him marrying the Countess (his blonde lady friend), he’s interrupted by a worker who tells him that he’s going to have to see a discovery that they made for himself. The walls that were currently being broken down were lined with one solid inch of steel. Drake tells the workers to get it torn down ASAP because he’s running on a tight schedule and leaves the unfortunate gentlemen to it.

Once the workers have created an opening in the steel with their handy dandy welding tools they enter what appears to be an abandoned hallway. “It smells like shit in here”, complains Guy #1. “No, it smells like death”, says Guy #2. As soon as the gentlemen venture deeper into the hallway, they are attacked and killed by two very old and very thirsty vampires. #bummer

Life is hard for Detective Lowe: While hella murders are going on at the Cortez, John Lowe is safely tucked away in a mental hospital being evaluated. While talking to a psychologist he confides that he “feels like everything is closing in” on him, which he blames on his current situations with Alex, Scarlett, and work. We then learn that John decided he “needs professional help” after he attacked a fellow detective who caught him in the office building looking at the information on the Ten Commandments Killer. #yikes

The Countess’s back story: Hotel manager, Iris, takes the Countess to inspect the new discovery in the walls of the Cortez and is shocked to see genuine fear strike the face of the fearless lady vamp. With a new found knowledge on her back story that begins all the way back in old Hollywood, it’s easy to understand why.

We are taken to a set for a silent film where the Countess plays an extra and Finn Wittrock AKA Valentino plays the dashing male lead. The Countess ogles at the hunk for most of the shooting and is then delivered a message that he would like her to join him for dinner that evening. She happily accepts and we find ourselves in the magnificent home of Valentino where the starlets engage in conversation about film. “I think the flickers are the future”, the Countess gushes, “to be immortal is to be up on that screen.”

After a small spoken error which Valentino blames on his poor English, he offers his hand for the Countess to join him in a dance and they get their groove on. As things are getting hot and heavy as far as dance moves go, Valentino’s wife walks into the room which shocks the Countess because she was under the assumption that they were divorced. Once some mild cattiness passes from the wife to the Countess, she tells her that “gods have appetites” and then the women dance, kiss, and have a nice little menage-a-trios with Valentino. #wawawoowewa

Thanks to this wild night in pleasure town, the Countess is in love but she declines to tell her girlfriend about the lucky man (and woman) while they attend a party for the opening of the Cortez. James March pops some champagne and all seems to be going well until a newsie reports that the actor Valentino is dead. Stricken with grief, the Countess runs out of the room and to the nearest window and prepares to jump. But does she do it? NO, she doesn’t because she is grabbed by March and helped back into the building. “Let me go”, she cries. “No, I don’t suppose I will”, March replies. “In fact, I may never let you go”.

Time passes and we are now in cemetery where socialites are discussing the newspaper rumors of a “Lady In Black” who apparently comes to Valentino’s resting place and leaves a single red rose every day. Their gossip is stopped short, however, once the Countess appears, donned completely in black. As she places her rose, she realizes that one of the ladies is Valentino’s wife. The Countess bitterly remarks that she wasn’t even at the funeral to which the wife curtly replies, “why would I go to a funeral for a man who isn’t even dead”? And then, Valentino appears.

The Countess is shocked, obviously, and the handsome devil says that it was his stunt double that died and was buried like it was nothing. (Take note that Valentino mostly did his own stunts!) The couple informs the Countess that they know of her marriage to March that happened shortly after the “death” of Valentino. “If I was to live in a world of grief”, she says, “I wanted to be surrounded by beautiful things”. We then see a montage of wild sex and the Countess walking in on March tending to a recently murdered body. She then encourages her hubby to select people of wealth to kill and that she wants to watch next time. #hubbahubba

Valentino then shares his side of the story, which took place while he was on a promotional tour for one of his upcoming films. Every location that he traveled to via train he was followed by a solitary man who wasn’t a reporter. Valentino began seeing him everywhere until one night he awoke to find him in his room. The man explains that he was some fancy pants director and that soon silent films would be no more. He wanted to preserve Valentino’s perfection and then turned him.

After Valentino was turned, rumors began to spread that he was very sick and he did nothing to stop them. Once he returned home, he turned his wife and now they are here as a chic vampire couple offering to turn the Countess. She accepts this offer and believes that they will be together forever. The trio indulges in some good old fashioned blood drinking against a stained glass window and Mr. March happens to see the whole thing.

So what happens next? I’m so glad you asked! As the Countess and March meet up for their monthly dinner together, we learn what happened to the beautiful couple that the Countess was so smitten with. After March sees her with Valentino and his wifey he has both of them beaten unconscious and they awake in a room at the Cortez. The woman opens a curtain to see a solid wall of bricks and when Valentino opens the door he sees a hallway with no exits.#ohshit

“Oh my god”, the Countess says shakily. “Yes, your god trapped in the walls of the palace that I built for my queen”. But not anymore, because as dinner continues a newly revitalized couple exits the Cortez to explore the world that they were locked away from for all those years. (Thanks to the blood of the realtor from Murder House and some strippers.)

A new lead on the Ten Commandments Killer: As John wanders around the hospital, he overhears some employees talking about the TCK who they say is in the hospital right now in the restricted ward. Lowe uses this knowledge to his advantage and hits the guard at the front of the ward over the head and steals his keys. He then makes his way to room 153 which supposedly houses the TCK. #snap

He opens the door to find a young girl named Wren, who also happens to be one of the Countess’s vampire children. We learn that Wren has assisted the TCK and was there at every crime scene. She says that at the most recent TCK attack, he almost got caught and then it was all her fault. This makes John sympathize with her because she reminds him of his own daughter who he feels blames herself for all of his current problems.

“When I was young, my daddy told me he couldn’t wait for me to grow up and I would be his little lady”, Wren said. Wren’s father was a drunk and left his daughter in his car during a sweltering hot day to drink at the Cortez. That’s when the Countess found her and turned her because as we learned earlier, she has a thing for neglected children.

Wren tells John that he has to get her out of here so that she can show him where the TCK lives. So just like that, they escape – because it’s soooo easy to break out of a mental hospital. Wren says that they need to go home to the Cortez. “I really like you. I hate to see it end. Goodbye John”, Wren declares and runs into the street only to get hit at full speed by a bus. #ouch #endscene

So there you have it, the synopsis post of this week’s episode of American Horror Story: Hotel, “Flicker”. What did everyone think of the back story for the Countess? How does everyone feel about season five so far? I wanna hear from all of you, so leave me a comment and let’s chat! Much love. -Sarah

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I’ll Tell You What I Thought, What I Really Really Thought (AHS Episode 6)

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I’ll Tell You What I Thought, What I Really Really Thought (AHS Episode 6)

Helloooo everyone and welcome to my opinion post on the newest episode of American Horror Story: Hotel, “Room 33”. To be frank, I wasn’t a fan. This episode had me questioning whether or not I wanted to continue watching season five – but fear not, I wouldn’t do that to my readers who tune in to these posts! :*) There was a lot that I just didn’t care for in “Room 33”, so let’s get to it:

Jumpy story lines: “Room 33” was all over the place. The story lines of season five being jumpier than a rabbit on Ecstasy has been one of my complaints since the very beginning, but the newest epi was just too much. We were going from time period, to location, to person, to plot quicker than you could wrap your head around the previous scene. This would all be fine and well if they gave the individual story lines time to develop but that really isn’t happening. In almost every episode we’re introduced to something that could be a potentially cool plot to delve further into but it’s either A) not mentioned again or B) brought up again too late into the season to the point that it feels irrelevant.

Now usually I’m a huge fan of intricate episodes and story lines but there comes a time when it feels like overkill. In almost every episode of Hotel thus far, I feel like Ryan Murphy has bit off more than he can chew. The flimsy plot feels more like unfortunate sloppiness rather than a build up of instances that are going to lead to one major turning point in the season. #whompwhomp

boohoo

A sub par cast: Sorry, but I’m not blown away by any of the actors in this season aside from Denis O’Hare. Don’t get me wrong, everyone is doing an okay job – but that’s just it, they’re just okay. I haven’t seen one stand out performance by a leading character all season and that’s just unacceptable. Wes Bentley is delivering a similar performance each week, so is Chloe Sevigny (Alex), Lady Gaga, Finn Wittrock – basically everyone. And don’t even get me started on Sarah Paulson. Despite Paulson’s lack of being featured in each episode, I’m still very disappointed in her performance. All of the Hotel tenants just seem very lackluster and dull. If you’ve seen ten minutes of acting from each character, you’ve seen it all.

Murder House similarities: “Room 33” felt like I was watching an episode of Murder House that wasn’t very good. I loved the dead and living interaction in Murder House and I never minded it when it showed up sparingly in Hotel. However, the newest episode revolved around the interactions of the living characters and those who died in the Cortez and I felt like I’ve seen it all before. The episode felt too familiar and not in the good way. I understand that the plot calls for the dead to wreak some havoc on the living in the Cortez. BUT, the dead in “Room 33” were being featured more than the living, which I feel is so unnecessary. Had they cut out some of the scenes with those who passed in the Cortez (IE: the woman in the bath tub) and focused a little more on the characters who are still alive, then the episode might have been more cohesive.

All in all, I’m going to have to give episode six, “Room 33” a rating of: one star. This episode did nothing for me and received such a low rating for dull performances and a plot that was too jumpy to be enjoyable. Better luck on episode seven! #disappointed

I Told You What I Thought, What I Really Really Thought about the newest episode of American Horror Story: Hotel and now it’s your turn! What did you think of “Room 33”? What character would you like to see more of in the next episode? I wanna hear from all of you, so leave me a comment and let’s chat! Much love. -Sarah

American Horror Story: Hotel “Room 33”

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American Horror Story: Hotel “Room 33”

Heyyy everyone and welcome to a slightly late synopsis of the newest episode of American Horror Story: Hotel entitled “Room 33”. A lot of new discoveries were made about our hotel guests so let’s get right to it and discuss, starting with the first connection to Murder House that Hotel has featured:

Mama Gaga: “Room 33” starts with a flashback to the 1920’s where we see the Countess walking into the Murder House from season one. The Countess had a bit of a baby problem and went to seek out the abortion doctor, who a friend recommended to her. The doctor started up the procedure with no questions asked and everything seemed to be fine and dandy until he and the nurses realized the baby was still alive. The baby attacked the nurse and the doctor handed it to the Countess who is now the new mother of a baby boy, Bartholomeo. The Countess loves her baby very much and goes to visit him every night in the hotel, donned in ethereal gowns with her hair flowing. Baby Bartholomeo is a tenant in the Cortez as well, residing in room 33.

An unlikely couple: In “Room 33” we are introduced to a new Cortez power couple, Tristan and Liz. We find the love birds having a nice little romp and afterwards they share some touching sentiments to each other. Tristan asks Liz if she loves him to which miss thang replies, “I don’t know. I think so – but goddamn it who can tell when you’re so damn handsome!” Tristan then confesses his love for Liz, but is adamant about reminding her that he’s not gay. Liz then reassures him that when he’s with her, he’s with a hetero girl and begins to cry, “thank you for seeing the girl”, he tells his lover. All of these sweet words are really moving and all but the new pair better look out because the Countess might not take it very well!

John Lowe continues to unravel: Tonight we saw John at his worst, thanks to some assistance from his soon to be ex-wife. John’s episode journey begins when he wakes up to find his son, Holden, laying next to him. “Hi, daddy”, his little boy says and then runs off to the coffin room. By the time John gets there he finds Holden, Alex, and the other vampire children asleep in their designated coffins and then proceeds to faint. (#overdramatic)

Alex, who doesn’t want John to know just yet about her and Holden’s condition decides to give him something to knock him out and gets him back into bed. While John is conked out, Alex enlists the help of Liz to move the coffins so that John doesn’t end up finding them. When John wakes up again he tells Alex about what he saw and his ex plays it off like the visions that he’s been having are because he’s making Scarlett’s memories his own. She then tells John that she thinks that he’s having a mental breakdown and suggests that he gets help. John, however, is not feeling this reaction and takes Alex to the coffin room only to find that they are no longer there. #ohyoucraftyhuh

A very Ramona revenge: Fan favorite, Ramona Royal, is featured in this episode with her partner in crime, Donovan. The duo has returned to the Cortez to “take care of those kiddies”, meaning the vampire children as well as the Countess’s darling baby Bartholomeo. Ramona is ready for action but Donovan has been overcome with an overwhelming urge to sniff the Countess’s panties, so he ends up going to her suite while Ramona seeks out the children in the coffin room…But just as John found out, the kids are no longer there.

While Ramona is in the coffin room, she is joined by Iris, who is there to help commit the deed. “This is no place for children”, Iris says to justify the murders. Ramona is furious by the discovery of the children missing from their sleeping chambers because she knows just how badly their deaths will hurt the Countess because they’re her “reason for living”. But Ramona knows that there’s one more thing that she can do to make her visit to the Cortez worthwhile…kill Bartholomeo. Ramona then asks Iris for the key to room 33 and goes about her business.

RIP: Liz has finally worked up the courage to tell the Countess about her affair with Tristan. “I don’t think you love him…like I do”, she says. “Interesting”, the Countess replies. She then gives Liz a friendly reminder that she doesn’t share but suggests that they go talk to Tristan together. Once they are all in the same room as a majorly awkward trio, Tristan goes into a powerful monologue about how the Countess only likes getting people to fall in love with her just to drop them completely. This seems to hit a cord with the Countess and she shockingly is agreeable. “Fine, you may have him”, she says to Liz. She then bends down to kiss Tristan on the cheek and then proceeds to slit his throat. “He’s yours. Bury him”, she hisses and walks away. #badbitch #jealoussss

Baby Bartholomeo: As mentioned earlier, things are not going too hot for our Detective John Lowe. He is drinking heavily, Scarlett has been ignoring his calls, and he feels rejected by his former job and Alex. His wife can tell that things are continuing to go increasingly wrong for John, so she issues the help of the two foreign dead girls from the season premiere who were in search of Universal Studios.

A quick interaction in the hallway between John and the girls immediately leads to a menage-a-trios…Sweet! But not exactly, because things get really bloody really quick, thanks to the girls cutting and scratching at each other. John has a whack attack and then runs butt-ass-neked and covered in blood into the hotel lobby and spews some nonsense at Liz. He then returns back to his room, packs his bags, and gets the hell out of the Cortez – which is exactly what Alex wanted.

John returns back to his home with a moody Scarlett, whom he picked up from grandma’s…and a baby Bartholomeo? Yes, it appears Baby B escaped when Ramona entered his room in the hopes of killing him and he found his way into John’s suitcase as a tiny little stowaway. John begins to unpack his belongings when he hears Scar crying so he goes to her room to tend to her. Once he is done comforting his daughter he returns to his suitcase and finds that all of the clothes have been dumped out and scattered about. Suspicious and paranoid, John gets his gun – just in case. Once John is armed, he heads down to the living room and is relieved to find Scarlett on the couch enjoying some cartoons. This relief is short lived, however, when he sees a “monster” crawling around from across the room. He approaches with caution, cocks his gun, and begins to shoot.

Naturally, this terrifies Scarlett and after a visit from a former coworker of John’s and Alex, she heads back to her grandma’s. Alex sticks around after Scarlett leaves to suggest to John, once again, that he gets help. Once Alex has said all she needs to say, she turns to leave but hears some rustling in the bushes, which she goes to investigate further. The episode ends with the Countess finding Alex tending to Bartholomeo in room 33. “You saved my son”, the Countess states. “You saved mine”, Alex retorts. She hands the Countess her son and exits and we then see a brief glimpse of the baby boy’s face which is so small. His skin looks plastic and he doesn’t have a mouth. #BabyB

^^^…DA DA DA DA DA DA DA MEET ME AT THE CORTEZ?!

So there you have it, the synopsis of the newest episode of American Horror Story: Hotel “Room 33”. A lot of crazy story lines were initiated in episode six and I look forward to sharing my opinions on all of them with you tomorrow! Until then, what did everyone think of “Room 33”? Who do you think is the Ten Commandments Killer? I wanna hear from all of you, so leave me a comment and let’s chat! Much love. -Sarah

American Horror Story: Hotel “Room Service”

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American Horror Story: Hotel “Room Service”

Hello everyone! Tonight’s episode of American Horror Story: Hotel entitled “Room Service” was excellent! A lot of craziness went down and we gained some new intel on our lovely cast of characters to boot! Let’s waste no time and get started:

The measles mishap: “Room Service” begins in the hospital where the newly turned Alex is a doctor. This season we tagged along as she cared for one of her patients who contracted measles because his mother didn’t vaccinate him. The boy, named Max, appears to be in bleak condition and Alex urges his mother to go get some rest. In the mean time, a weak and blood thirsty lady-vamp goes to the blood supply storage room to drink up and draw some blood of her own. She then tries an unconventional method of curing her young patient by ejecting her blood into his IV. As soon as the blood enters his body his heart rate skyrockets and he begins to convulse…

But fear not! The next morning Alex enters Max’s room to find his bed empty. The boy then comes running in and appears to be good as new. She gives Max’s mother the all clear for him to go home and all is well…until he ends up killing his parents while wearing a pirate costume. #trickortreat

When vampire children attack: After young Max drinks his fill of his parents’ blood he hops on the bus and goes to school to enjoy some Halloween fun. As soon as Max is at school his buzzkill of a teacher reprimands him for having a weapon as part of his costume, a plastic pirate sword, and confiscates it. Max is a tricky little devil though and shows his friend Madeline a real knife he has hidden in his boot. Max then leads Madi into a closet for some chatting and a little k-i-s-s-i-n-g and he ends up biting the girl’s lip. She immediately pulls away in pain and then Max bites his own lip and tells her that “we’re even” and kisses her again so their blood can mingle. #happyhalloween

After the Halloween party at the grade school comes to an end the day’s lessons begin and the teacher finds that Max and Madi’s chairs are empty. She asks her students where they could be and they all laugh and point to the closet. The teacher enters the vampires’ hideaway and as soon as she comes in Max slits her throat and urges Madi to drink her blood. This is when all hell breaks loose. The other students begin getting turned and a little boy ends up falling into the hallway which alerts another teacher. The man enters the room to see what’s going on and Max ends up cutting him too and encourages all of his classmates to drink his blood. “Drink it. It will make you feel AWESOME!” …Well, you didn’t have to tell me twice. #imsold

The teacher whom the kids have all swarmed upon like lions at a gazelle carcass (imagery!) manages to escape and runs to the front office and the school goes on lock down immediately. The SWAT team arrives to find the bodies of teachers strewn across the floor and a bunch of traumatized looking students. Once they clear the building the bloodied kids exit and find their parents. As the detectives begin to speak with them they all tell a similar story of a large masked man who attacked them. These vampirelings be crafty and SHAMEFUL!!

A very Ramona visit: Our last encounter with Ramona Royal ended with her telling Donovan that he was useless to her because he was no longer close to the Countess. But now, Donovan thinks otherwise thanks to his newly turned mom and manager of the Cortez, Iris. He offers his mother to Ramona because she is the best bet they have at taking the Countess down, which Donovan now wants desperately. Ramona is a fan of the plan – “you’re reckless. I like that” she says to her new partner in crime and Operation Take Countess Down is a go! Yeah!

Iris + Cleo = BFFs: Some beautiful bonding between Iris and the fabulous Cleo happens in “Room Service” which was such a joy to watch. As soon as Iris returns from Royal’s, Cleo can tell that something is up. Iris insists that she just needs to get some sleep but Cleo takes her to the bar and pours her some blood into a martini glass…Cleo knows all. After Iris drinks up, the most obnoxiously rude, asshole, hipster couple wants to check in to the Cortez. And when I say that they’re awful, I mean they are aw-ful. They’re the type of hipsters that make me hate all hipsters and they do a fantastic job of pushing all of Iris’s buttons.

After a phone call to the front desk from the couple requesting a food order leaves Iris in tears, Cleo comes to the rescue. “What did they want?” he asks her. Mid-sob Iris replies, “they want pate” cry, cry, cry, cry, cry. Cleo and Iris then head into the kitchen to create some pate magic compliments of the Cortez and cat food and share in a glorious heart to heart about Cleo’s back story.

denis

The life of Liz Taylor: We learn that Cleo, originally Nick Pryer, was a married man who wed his wife because they wore the same dress size and she married him because there was no one else. They had a son together and Nick worked as a medical rep whose responsibility was to shmooze with the doctors during nights on the town. During a trip, Nick and his coworkers ended up staying at the Cortez. That night, the associates went out to a strip club while Nick opted for a night in playing dress up. We see Nick trying on a slip, heels, and fur coat and he gushes that he was “trannnnnnnsformed”. #loveit

In celebration, Nick ordered a bottle of champagne and once he turned to reenter his room, the Countess was standing in front of him clear as day. She tells him that she was watching him as soon as he entered the hotel. “You look like a man and walk like a man but you smell like a woman” she told him. Nick begins to cry, “you’re so beautiful” he sobs. The Countess asks him why he cries to which Nick answers, “I feel ugly”. A riveting pep talk from the Countess follows and she encourages him to “become who you were born to be…a goddess”. #bornthisway

Nick becomes the Countess’ living doll and she gives him the makeover of a life time. She shaves his head, applies makeup and jewelry, and dubs him “Liz Taylor”. Once the transformation is complete she urges Liz to join her for a night on the town but he tells her that he’s not ready. “Goddesses don’t speak in whispers” she tells him, “they scream”. So for a start, Liz goes down the hall to get some more ice and as he returns to his room he runs into his coworkers who call him a “faggot” and threaten him with telling his wife and everyone at the office. The Countess then steps in and promptly slits both of their throats. #BYE

Liz never got turned by the Countess but instead got hired by her and now works as a drifter through the hotel. You can find Cleo at the bar, front desk, or just roaming the halls looking amazing but one thing is for sure…Denis O’Hare is perfection! Tune in to my opinions post on Friday for more on that! 🙂

#byehipsters: Iris comes knocking on the couple’s door with a delivery cart of cat food pate and red wine. After more disrespectful harassment from the guests, Iris ends up killing them both and drinking their blood. After Iris’ kill, she wheels off the bodies to the chute that goes all the way down to the basement with Cleo’s help. She tells her new friend that she feels like a changed woman and that she “never knew how to live until she died”. After the bodies are disposed of, they enjoy the red wine off of the couples’ cart and clink their glasses to a job well done. #waytogo

John Lowe, you’re fired: After John’s disturbing evening as a guest of James March’s Devil’s Night Soiree, we find him talking about the events with his superior. He tells him that he thinks he found a copycat cult that reenacts famous murders and that he believes that March is the Ten Commandments Killer. Lowe’s superior does not seem to be enthused about these findings, however, and reminds him of the psychiatric breakdown that occurred after Holden was kidnapped. This does nothing to add to John Lowe’s increasingly shitty reputation and he ends up getting fired. #suckstosuck John also learns after he wakes up next to Sally that they had some super rough hanky-panky judging by the scratches that he’s covered with and he doesn’t remember a thing. #suckstosuckagain

fired

Alex’s new job: “Room Service” ends with Alex receiving a description of her new job from the Countess. She is to act as the governess to her vampire children and live a life of loyalty to her. “Mommy, you’re just like me now”, Holden tells her. Alex then puts her little boy to bed in his coffin and climbs in with him for some sleepy time snuggles. #socute

So there you have it, the synopsis of the newest episode of American Horror Story: Hotel “Room Service”. How did everyone feel about tonight’s episode? Who loved Cleo’s back story? I wanna hear from all of you, so leave me a comment and let’s chat! Much love. -Sarah

American Horror Story: Hotel “Devil’s Night – Part 1”

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American Horror Story: Hotel “Devil’s Night – Part 1”

Hellooooo everyone! Usually I like to keep my synopsis posts on American Horror Story: Hotel purely factual and let the opinions flow freely on Friday BUT “Devil’s Night – Part 1” was EXQUISITE! Let’s discuss the exciting twists and turns that tonight’s episode brought us and please check in with me on Friday for What I Really Really Thought on the episode:

Nod to the Chicken Coop Murders in the 1920’s: Tonight’s episode began with blood dripping through the ceiling and onto the walls of Detective John Lowe’s room. He goes to Miss Ever’s room which is directly above his to find her having a cleaning frenzy next to a blood filled bath tub. We are then taken to a flashback to Halloween with her son, Albert, in the 1920’s. They arrive at his school and see students and parents dressed in costumes to the nines and all Albert has is a sheet with eye holes cut in it so he can be a ghost. After Miss Evers swoons to a fellow mother over her elaborate costume she turns her attention back to her son only to find that he isn’t there. We then see Albert being driven off in a stranger’s car. We learn that Albert was taken to the killer’s ranch and the only remains found of him was his Halloween costume. “I wasn’t paying attention” Miss Ever’s cries and for a fleeting moment Lowe finds someone who understands his pain over Holden.

Welcome home Holden: Alex brings sweet Holden home and tries to give him a quick medical exam. As soon as they walk in the door though, Sparky, the family dog barks at the unfamiliar boy so Alex puts him in the bathroom. As Alex begins the exam she opens a curtain and Holden complains that it’s too bright. She then takes the boys temperature to see that he’s at a chilly 75.5 degrees. The little one tells his mom that he’s thirsty so she hurries to the kitchen to get him some juice but we all know that Holden wanted dat human blood so he settled on the next best thing, Sparky. 😦

Alex finds her son with a blood soaked mouth cowering over the dead dog and he tells her that he wants his mommy. “Baby, I am your mommy” she says. Holden replies with “my other mommy” so they go to the Cortez where Holden goes to take a nap in his coffin and Alex encounters the Countess. The ladies sit down for a chat and we learn why the Countess chose Holden as her son. She tells Alex that she saved him, like she saves all of her children from the neglect of a parent. The Countess claims that she keeps the kids safe, “the world can be such a dangerous place” she says.

After listening to the Countess babble about all of the good that kidnapping does, Alex pulls a gun on her. SNAP. She demands that the Countess changes her son back but is told that there is no way to reverse vampirism. The Countess then offers to turn her so she can be with Holden forever for the price of her undying loyalty. Alex is not feeling this option at the moment and threatens the Countess with getting the police involved and turns to leave but gets a swift punch in the face from Tristan. The Countess tells him to let her go which leaves Alex with a difficult decision on her hands.

The Devil’s Night Soiree: The Devil’s Night Soiree at the Cortez is the most happening event of the season. It is an exclusive dinner party hosted by the one and only James Patrick March. All of the big names in serial killing are invited – Aileen Wuornos (Lily Rabe), Richard Ramirez, John Gacy, Zodiac, Jeffrey Dahmer…and John Lowe? Yeah that’s right, let’s discuss:

Devil’s Night begins with John at the bar, who finally cracks and orders himself a double martini. “That’s my boy”, Cleo muses. As he sips his drink a female with a mean mullet and awful teeth approaches the bar. This trailer park queen is Aileen Wuornos. She engages in conversation with John who is convinced that she’s in a costume or just a really good actor. John agrees to go to a room with her despite her…unconventional looks but once they’re in his room Aileen cuffs his hands and ties him to a chair. John is able to escape being tied up in the nonsexy way fairly easily and strikes Aileen, drags her to the bathroom, and cuffs her to the sink pipes. He then goes to her belongings and examines her ID which checks in with her story of being one of the world’s greatest female serial killers.

John runs down to the front desk and looks at the sign in sheet where he sees the names of serial killers galore. Cleo informs him of the night’s festivities and is pleasantly surprised to find that John is on the “tres exclusive” guest list. John goes back to his room to find it Wuornos-free but on his bed he finds a garment bag containing a sharp tux and the note “dress to kill tonight”. He puts on his new duds and goes to Room 64 to join the partay. #serialkilleroverhere #whoopwhoop #serialkilleroverthere #whoopwhoop

The party is exactly what you think it would be…a bunch of the world’s greatest serial killers just hanging out, having a drink, and getting a little rowdy. Everyone seems to be having a ball, Aileen hollers “suck my left tit Clark Gable” to March, Zodiac has a bag over his head, and Jeffrey Dahmer is being a weirdo…the usual. Once everyone is gathered around the table, the party goers take a shot of Absinthe and the dinner commences. #turnup

James March apparently has been a father figure to all of the deceased serial killers sitting before him. He is the patriarch of the party and is lovingly referred to by his guests as “the master”. He goes on to flatter them by calling them the “Mount Rushmore of murder” and says that when he looks around the table he sees “the definition of American success”. What a sweetie! After their meal, the fun begins with music, dancing, serial killer tricks like John Gacy cuffing Lowe to a chair, and a nice handsome boy for Dahmer provided by March.

In the mean time, Sally is outside having a cigarette and picking up a businessman standing outside of the hotel. She shoots him up with a healthy dose of heroin and she brings him to the partay. “This will buy me another year of being left alone, right?” she asks March. “As always”, he replies. Once the new guest is welcomed to the party by the hostess with the mostess, James, he invites his guests to join him for dessert. A tray of knives is brought out by Miss Evers and Sally’s score ends up being the sacrificial lamb to the serial killer crew. What a wild night, am I right?

So all of these serial killers are dead, yes? So who exactly is John in the room with during the soiree? No one. When Sally enters the room to bring in the sacrifice she informs the severely intoxicated John that she found him screaming, he was all alone, and he was hallucinating because of the Absinthe. What a wild night, am I right?

^^^ DA DA DA DA DA DA DA MEET ME AT THE CORTEZ!!!

Alex gets turned: The episode ends with Alex getting turned by the Countess because she can’t stand to lose Holden again…No surprise there.

So there you have it, tonight’s new episode of American Horror Story: Hotel “Devil’s Night – Part 1”. How did everyone feel about tonight’s episode? What did you think of the serial killer soiree? I wanna hear from all of you, so leave me a comment and let’s chat! Much love. -Sarah

PS: Make sure you check back in with me on Friday for What I Really Really Thought about tonight’s episode!! Only good things, I promise!

I’ll Tell You What I Thought, What I Really Really Thought (AHS Episode 3)

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I’ll Tell You What I Thought, What I Really Really Thought (AHS Episode 3)

Heyyy everyone and TGIF! The newest episode of American Horror Story: Hotel entitled “Mommy” premiered on Wednesday and now it’s time for my personal opinions on it. There were some things that I loved, some things that I wanted more of, and some things that I didn’t particularly care for, so let’s discuss:

Introduction of Ramona Royal – LOVED: I adore the fabulous Miss Angela Bassett. I think that she’s completely and totally fantastic so I was so pleased that they gave her character an introduction fit for the queen that she is. From the scenes of her campy B-list movies to her kidnapping of Donovan, I thought that it was flawless. I hope that she gives the Countess a run for her money (or lack thereof) because I still can’t get in to Lady Gaga. My fingers are crossed that Bassett gets significant screen time this season to fill the humongous void that was left by my beloved Jessica Lange.

boohoo

^^^ Yes, I used this meme during last week’s opinion post but it just seemed to fit so well after my J-Lange swan song!

Ten Commandments Killer – Want more of: Detective John Lowe is hunting after a serial killer who murders people who break one or many of the Ten Commandments and I am such a fan of this idea. I think that it’s edgy, I think that it’s cool, and I think that I desperately want this story line to develop more. It seems like in every episode we only get a brief look into a crime scene that the TCK left behind and then that plot twist completely disappears. I think that Ryan Murphy and his sublime team were extremely creative with coming up with ways that people could get killed based off of the Ten Commandments. In episode three, for example, Detective Lowe enters an office building for a gossip magazine and all of the employees have their tongues nailed to whatever surface they are nearest to for “thou shalt not bear false witness”. That’s brilliant, now give me more of it!

The Countess’s sexcapades – Hate: I’M SO OVER IT! And I swear it’s not just me who’s dogging on Lady Gaga because of my personal distaste for her being on the show…Literally 99% of the people who I interact with on social media agree that they’re getting sick of every scene that the Countess is involved in being a sex scene. It’s tacky, it’s cheap, and it’s so overdone that I just can’t deal. I have seen literally no real acting from Gaga since her debut on the show which is why I don’t care for her as the leading lady. Anyone could do what she’s doing right now and I genuinely believe that. As soon as I see some range in the scenes that she’s involved in I’ll definitely have more love for her, but until then, I’m over the hump fest.

“No pity party in my bar!” -Cleopatra (And can I just say that Denis O’Hare does not get enough credit on AHS. He’s SO underrated despite his brilliance as an actor. I think he’s doing a terrific job and I wish Cleo was getting more screen time because I’m kind of obsessed.)

Over all, I thought that “Mommy” was good. Once again, it wasn’t “OMG” worthy, but it was good. Every episode since the premiere has been improving slowly but surely so I’m going to give episode three: three stars.

^^^ DA DA DA DA DA DA DA, MEET ME AT THE CORTEZ!!!!

You can catch me at the same time same place next week for a synopsis and opinions post on the new episode of American Horror Story: Hotel. Until then, what did everyone think of “Mommy”? What did you love? What could be improved on? I wanna hear from all of you, so leave me a comment and let’s chat! Much love. -Sarah

I’ll Tell You What I Thought, What I Really Really Thought (AHS Episode 2)

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I’ll Tell You What I Thought, What I Really Really Thought (AHS Episode 2)

Helloooo everyone and TGIF! With the newest episode of American Horror Story: Hotel “Chutes and Ladders” airing on Wednesday, we have a lot to talk about! Thursday was a day of reviewing and Friday is a day for the opinions on the episode compliments of yours truly. Episode two was a definite step up from the season premiere but it was just not quite there yet for me. Despite some things that I despised, “Chutes and Ladders” was a vast improvement so let’s discuss, starting with what I loved:

Holden, Holden, Holden: Oh. My. God. That little boy is seriously the most darling thing on the planet. Hearing him actually talk in this episode with his adorable tiny voice made my heart melt. He’s too cute for words and I swoon so hard every time he’s on screen!

babies

The Cortez backstory: I was so happy that this episode gave us the history of the hotel and introduced us to Evan Peters’ character, James Patrick March. Knowing all of the horrors that went on as the hotel was built made the atmosphere of the Cortez genuinely spooky as opposed to when it was just kind of there in episode one and the first half of episode two. It was also nice to learn more intel on the faithful maid, Miss Evers, as well as finally unveiling the significance of Room 64 as March’s office.

The character development of John Lowe: I really really like Wes Bentley. I think he’s fantastic and I’m very pleased with how he’s playing John. What I’m getting the most from his character is this sense of unraveling and I’m looking forward to seeing just how far he’ll take it throughout the season. Learning more of John’s backstory as a recovering alcoholic was something that I wasn’t shocked by because it just seemed to fit perfectly and the theme of Hotel is addiction. What I’m really hoping for as we go further into the story line of the Ten Commandments Killer is a good cat and mouse detective chase because I know Bentley will really bring it!

Now that you know what I loved, let’s talk about some of the things that rubbed me the wrong way:

Even Peters’ accent: Jesus Christ, it was SO bad. During Freak Show I remember complaining about Jessica Lange’s German accent because I thought it was awful. This led me to recall writing that I would prefer for an actor to use their natural voice if they can’t do a good accent and I hold true to this statement. I thought that Peters was trying so hard to sound like this roaring 20’s tycoon and it was evident, therefore, unbelievable. It sounded like I was hearing a mockery of a 1920’s big wig as opposed to the real thing.

The overall sense of trying too hard: A lot of my fellow fans that I interact with on social media brought this up, which I was thrilled about because it was something that I was thinking the entire episode. Throughout “Chutes and Ladders” I couldn’t help but think multiple times that I could tell how hard the actors were trying to act. This honestly goes for a majority of the cast but specifically for Sarah Paulson and Finn Wittrock, which I was really disappointed by. I felt like I was watching a cast of extreme caricatures during episode two and a lot of the acting looked very forced and unnatural to me.

Missing Jessica Lange: Yeah, I said it, I miss Jessica Lange like no other. It’s funny because when I learned that Lange wasn’t going to be the leading lady of Hotel, I thought it might be a nice change to have someone younger to give a fresh spin on the show. But now, as I watch Lady Gaga as The Countess all I can think about is how perfectly Lange would have played that part. I’m not a fan of Gaga. I spent the entirety of episodes one and two wanting and trying to like her but I just couldn’t do it. I feel like all her character is offering is a heaping dose of sexuality that’s getting really old really freaking quick. Once I see some genuine acting from her, this opinion might change but for the time being give me Lange or give me death!!!

boohoo

^^^ LOVE HER!

All in all, I quite enjoyed this episode. Anything was an improvement from the season premiere and “Chutes and Ladders” was just what I needed to restore my faith in the show. I rate episode two with: three stars.

So I Told You What I Thought, What I Really Really Thought about episode two of American Horror Story: Hotel “Chutes and Ladders” and now it’s your turn. How did everyone feel about the newest episode? Who is your favorite character in the Hotel so far? I wanna hear from all of you, so leave me a comment and let’s chat! Much love. -Sarah