Helloooo everyone and happy Thursday! So as you guys know, my car AKA the Little Red Love Machine AKA LRLM is my pride and joy. I love my 2012 Mazda 2 hatchback more than I’ve ever loved anything in my life, so when it’s in a dangerous situation I turn into a fierce mother bear. With this disclaimer in mind, you’ll see why I just couldn’t even while driving to school yesterday – ESPECIALLY in regards to senior citizen drivers. Do I sound bitchy yet? Don’t care, so get ready for the rant of a lifetime in “I Can’t Even – A White Girl Memoir”.

First things first, I am ALL for old people driving for as long as they can but there comes a point when they are a straight up danger to themselves and everyone else on the road. During my drive to Cleveland for class on Wednesday I encountered two problematic situations – one that was uber annoying and one that was one hundred and three percent dangerous. Let’s discuss:

Annoyed & Angsty: I started my drive on Wednesday feeling really good. I had a nice full tank of gas, a fresh coffee, and I had plenty of time to get to school with at least twenty minutes to spare to study for my French test. Everything was smooth sailing until I got on the road I take to get on the highway. For a long stretch of the street, the speed limit is 45, so other drivers and myself included are usually going a solid five to seven MPH over. Unfortunately, this common vehicular courtesy did not apply to the old timer in front of me who was going at least fifteen MPH under the speed limit, traveling at roughly thirty MPH. I. Was. LIVID.

So I’m driving along, still trying to put the pedal to the metal to get this geezer moving and he literally wouldn’t budge. Thanks to my bad luck of getting stuck behind this guy, a road that usually takes me ten minutes to drive on took me an extra five to seven minutes, dwindling my study refresher session time lower and lower. Now some of you guys are probably thinking “big deal” and in the long run, it isn’t that huge of a deal. But what if it was you who was potentially going to run late for work, class, or a date? Wouldn’t you be pissed too? I can see someone driving at the speed limit exactly but fifteen under?? Jesus.

Irritated & Endangered: Finally, I lost my senior citizen friend once he turned down the street and I was back in business. I made it to the traffic light before the highway and would be the first to drive off to the Tri-C sunset as soon as it turned green. “Yes!” I thought to myself, “what could possibly go wrong now?” ….Apparently a lot.

The light changed to green and I fired up the LRLM engine for a highway adventure. I got onto the entrance ramp and began to pick up speed when all of a sudden BAM, I slammed on my breaks hard. Everything in my passenger seat went flying to the floor and my heart was racing a gazillion miles a minute…I was stuck behind another old timer. This is no exaggeration when I say that this driver was going at approximately twenty MPH on a highway entrance ramp.

I am SO thankful that I have extremely fast reflexes and could hit my breaks in time because there was no way I could have seen this vehicle from farther away. The car was beyond the curve of the ramp, so it was out of my line of vision – but when I  made the curve coming in hot at close to fifty MPH the car was right fucking there. Not only am I thankful that my breaks were functional and efficient enough to bring my car to a full stop from such a high speed but I’m so lucky that there was no one behind me either. If there was another traveler behind me, there is a very good chance he would have rear ended me, slamming me into the slow poke, and totaling my car completely.

At first I was shaken up…I could have been in a potentially life threatening accident. But then, I was infuriated. I was enraged that this senior citizen who clearly couldn’t use the entrance ramp properly was even there. Everyone knows that those ramps are there to get you close to highway speed before getting on one so how can that happen if someone is going at twenty MPH??

Everyone thinks that it’s the fast drivers that cause the most damage and that’s probably true but slow drivers are just as dangerous. I’m not writing this post to be mean or say that all old people can’t drive, but my god, there should come a point when they shouldn’t be on the road anymore. I am a firm believer that everyone beyond a certain age should have to take some sort of driving test to keep their license to prevent the situations that I encountered yesterday. I’m so happy I got to school safe and sound but I’m still so fired up about the whole thing and I really just CAN’T EVEN.

So there you have it, I Can’t Even – A White Girl Memoir. This rant was something I really needed to get off of my chest, so thanks for letting me ramble! Has anyone had a situation similar to mine while driving? How do you feel about mandatory driving tests after a certain age? I wanna hear from all of you, so leave me a comment and let’s chat! Much love. -Sarah