Hello everyone and welcome to a brand new edition of Lil Red’s Book Club! I’m sure at one point in all of our lives we were either fascinated, weirded out, or both by the Duggar family. I know it was a combo for me and today, we will be discussing Jill Duggar’s memoir called Counting The Cost in a spoiler free setting. Before we begin, I will be placing a trigger warning on this book for sexual and mental abuse and religious trauma. Now, let’s get to it:

Jill is one of the eldest Duggar daughters and the way she grew up was clearly different than most of us. Some of it had to do with her parents, Jim Bob and Michelle, and some of it had to do with their religious upbringing. The Duggar family belonged to the Institute in Basic Life Principles (IBLP), which was ran by a pedophile named Bill Gothard. The teachings of the IBLP were strict and strange. Rather than teaching about their god’s love, the IBLP focused on the wrath of god if a member of the flock were to stray. Straying could mean anything from a female wearing pants to drinking alcohol or not popping out as many children as god would allow.

Due to these teachings, it’s not hard to see why Michelle gave Jim Bob nineteen children in total. As an older daughter in an ever growing brood, Jill had a lot of responsibility and learned how to be a people pleaser from the start. She had “little buddies” AKA young siblings whose care was up to her and had to answer her parents with a “yes or no ma’am or sir”. Jill was the yes-girl in her household and thrived on her parents’ praise, earning her a special nickname of Sweet Jilly Muffin. And, why would Sweet Jilly Muffin do anything to upset her parents much less her lord?

To Jill, their lifestyle seemed normal and anything outside of their home was foreign and scary. That’s not to say that she didn’t enjoy outings with her family and she liked shuttling about with her dad when he ran for state Senator. Jim Bob didn’t win his election, but he gained a reality TV show when a journalist snapped a picture of his huge family. At first, the Duggars appeared in a few hour long documentaries of their lives and then it turned into a full fledged reality show on TLC called X Amount of Kids And Counting. Jim Bob considered this to be their “ministry” and was thrilled to be able to show off his IBLP family on national TV.

Although Jill struggled at first with the camera crew being constantly in her home, she took it in stride because that’s what a good daughter does. While she felt embarrassed in front of the cameras, she loved the perks of travel and big shopping trips to Aldi paid for by TLC. As her family grew and their popularity rose, it felt like the Duggars could do no wrong. But, every family has secrets and the Duggars were harboring a dark one – the fact that some of the daughters were sexually abused by their eldest brother, Josh.

With every scandal that broke about the disgraced brother, the shit would hit the metaphorical fan. The family show was cancelled, but a spin off show was created to focus on the adult Duggars called Jill and Jessa: Counting On. This series covered the new marriage of Jill to her husband Derrick, the birth of their son, and their mission work in El Salvador. In her brand new life, Jill and Derrick realized that something was severely lacking: Money.

Being a new parent and trying to get their own missions off the ground meant that Jill and Derrick needed funds. Oddly enough, they didn’t make a dime from their time on reality TV. Her relationship with her parents became strained and she learned that maybe they weren’t the trustworthy, all knowing people that she thought. The book explores Jill emerging from under Jim Bob and Michelle’s thumb to learn how to be herself. Not Sweet Jilly Muffin but Jill. How did this effect her family relationships? Drastically. So read Counting The Cost to find out more!

There is SO much about the Duggar family that I disagree with, but I am not going to get into that. I will say, that I was very impressed with Jill and have been since watching the documentary on her family called Shiny Happy People. Although this book covered a lot of what was already discussed in the documentary, it was still really good all the same and it was interesting to read Jill’s experience in her own words. As an outsider looking into her family, it’s so easy to see where her trauma came from and I thought she was really brave to come out and talk about it.

Throughout the book, I found myself rooting hard for Jill and it was a joy to read about her finding herself. I was elated when she talked about her choice to wear pants, get a nose piercing, and *gasp* enjoy a cocktail with her husband. I was also so happy to read that she sought out counseling to improve her declining mental health from the strain of her upbringing. Jill showed tremendous courage in her life to make these changes and choose what’s right for her and her family even if it meant sacrificing relationships with them. Counting The Cost was Jill finding her own voice and truth and it was a powerful read.

Counting The Cost isn’t a book of Jill straight up shit talking her family, even if some of them deserve it. It’s a story of a girl whose wings were clipped and how she learned to fly anyway. I am going to rate Counting The Cost with a seven out of ten stars and definitely recommend it if you are just as curious about the Duggar family as I was!

What are you currently reading? What should I read next? I want to hear from all of you, so leave me a comment and let’s chat! Much love. -Sarah