Heyyy everyone and welcome to a slightly late synopsis of the newest episode of American Horror Story: Hotel entitled “Room 33”. A lot of new discoveries were made about our hotel guests so let’s get right to it and discuss, starting with the first connection to Murder House that Hotel has featured:

Mama Gaga: “Room 33” starts with a flashback to the 1920’s where we see the Countess walking into the Murder House from season one. The Countess had a bit of a baby problem and went to seek out the abortion doctor, who a friend recommended to her. The doctor started up the procedure with no questions asked and everything seemed to be fine and dandy until he and the nurses realized the baby was still alive. The baby attacked the nurse and the doctor handed it to the Countess who is now the new mother of a baby boy, Bartholomeo. The Countess loves her baby very much and goes to visit him every night in the hotel, donned in ethereal gowns with her hair flowing. Baby Bartholomeo is a tenant in the Cortez as well, residing in room 33.

An unlikely couple: In “Room 33” we are introduced to a new Cortez power couple, Tristan and Liz. We find the love birds having a nice little romp and afterwards they share some touching sentiments to each other. Tristan asks Liz if she loves him to which miss thang replies, “I don’t know. I think so – but goddamn it who can tell when you’re so damn handsome!” Tristan then confesses his love for Liz, but is adamant about reminding her that he’s not gay. Liz then reassures him that when he’s with her, he’s with a hetero girl and begins to cry, “thank you for seeing the girl”, he tells his lover. All of these sweet words are really moving and all but the new pair better look out because the Countess might not take it very well!

John Lowe continues to unravel: Tonight we saw John at his worst, thanks to some assistance from his soon to be ex-wife. John’s episode journey begins when he wakes up to find his son, Holden, laying next to him. “Hi, daddy”, his little boy says and then runs off to the coffin room. By the time John gets there he finds Holden, Alex, and the other vampire children asleep in their designated coffins and then proceeds to faint. (#overdramatic)

Alex, who doesn’t want John to know just yet about her and Holden’s condition decides to give him something to knock him out and gets him back into bed. While John is conked out, Alex enlists the help of Liz to move the coffins so that John doesn’t end up finding them. When John wakes up again he tells Alex about what he saw and his ex plays it off like the visions that he’s been having are because he’s making Scarlett’s memories his own. She then tells John that she thinks that he’s having a mental breakdown and suggests that he gets help. John, however, is not feeling this reaction and takes Alex to the coffin room only to find that they are no longer there. #ohyoucraftyhuh

A very Ramona revenge: Fan favorite, Ramona Royal, is featured in this episode with her partner in crime, Donovan. The duo has returned to the Cortez to “take care of those kiddies”, meaning the vampire children as well as the Countess’s darling baby Bartholomeo. Ramona is ready for action but Donovan has been overcome with an overwhelming urge to sniff the Countess’s panties, so he ends up going to her suite while Ramona seeks out the children in the coffin room…But just as John found out, the kids are no longer there.

While Ramona is in the coffin room, she is joined by Iris, who is there to help commit the deed. “This is no place for children”, Iris says to justify the murders. Ramona is furious by the discovery of the children missing from their sleeping chambers because she knows just how badly their deaths will hurt the Countess because they’re her “reason for living”. But Ramona knows that there’s one more thing that she can do to make her visit to the Cortez worthwhile…kill Bartholomeo. Ramona then asks Iris for the key to room 33 and goes about her business.

RIP: Liz has finally worked up the courage to tell the Countess about her affair with Tristan. “I don’t think you love him…like I do”, she says. “Interesting”, the Countess replies. She then gives Liz a friendly reminder that she doesn’t share but suggests that they go talk to Tristan together. Once they are all in the same room as a majorly awkward trio, Tristan goes into a powerful monologue about how the Countess only likes getting people to fall in love with her just to drop them completely. This seems to hit a cord with the Countess and she shockingly is agreeable. “Fine, you may have him”, she says to Liz. She then bends down to kiss Tristan on the cheek and then proceeds to slit his throat. “He’s yours. Bury him”, she hisses and walks away. #badbitch #jealoussss

Baby Bartholomeo: As mentioned earlier, things are not going too hot for our Detective John Lowe. He is drinking heavily, Scarlett has been ignoring his calls, and he feels rejected by his former job and Alex. His wife can tell that things are continuing to go increasingly wrong for John, so she issues the help of the two foreign dead girls from the season premiere who were in search of Universal Studios.

A quick interaction in the hallway between John and the girls immediately leads to a menage-a-trios…Sweet! But not exactly, because things get really bloody really quick, thanks to the girls cutting and scratching at each other. John has a whack attack and then runs butt-ass-neked and covered in blood into the hotel lobby and spews some nonsense at Liz. He then returns back to his room, packs his bags, and gets the hell out of the Cortez – which is exactly what Alex wanted.

John returns back to his home with a moody Scarlett, whom he picked up from grandma’s…and a baby Bartholomeo? Yes, it appears Baby B escaped when Ramona entered his room in the hopes of killing him and he found his way into John’s suitcase as a tiny little stowaway. John begins to unpack his belongings when he hears Scar crying so he goes to her room to tend to her. Once he is done comforting his daughter he returns to his suitcase and finds that all of the clothes have been dumped out and scattered about. Suspicious and paranoid, John gets his gun – just in case. Once John is armed, he heads down to the living room and is relieved to find Scarlett on the couch enjoying some cartoons. This relief is short lived, however, when he sees a “monster” crawling around from across the room. He approaches with caution, cocks his gun, and begins to shoot.

Naturally, this terrifies Scarlett and after a visit from a former coworker of John’s and Alex, she heads back to her grandma’s. Alex sticks around after Scarlett leaves to suggest to John, once again, that he gets help. Once Alex has said all she needs to say, she turns to leave but hears some rustling in the bushes, which she goes to investigate further. The episode ends with the Countess finding Alex tending to Bartholomeo in room 33. “You saved my son”, the Countess states. “You saved mine”, Alex retorts. She hands the Countess her son and exits and we then see a brief glimpse of the baby boy’s face which is so small. His skin looks plastic and he doesn’t have a mouth. #BabyB

^^^…DA DA DA DA DA DA DA MEET ME AT THE CORTEZ?!

So there you have it, the synopsis of the newest episode of American Horror Story: Hotel “Room 33”. A lot of crazy story lines were initiated in episode six and I look forward to sharing my opinions on all of them with you tomorrow! Until then, what did everyone think of “Room 33”? Who do you think is the Ten Commandments Killer? I wanna hear from all of you, so leave me a comment and let’s chat! Much love. -Sarah