Tag Archives: valentine’s day

Feb12

Red Carpet Ready

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Hello everyone and happy Sunday! Tonight is the Grammy’s and you know what that means: a gathering of beautiful celebrities to celebrate sub par music! If you guys keep up to date on my Facebook page, you will know that I think the Grammy’s are kind of a joke. They didn’t always used to be that way to me, but over the years it just seems to have evolved into an award show for Top 40 hits that does little to celebrate the artists that are out there making music constantly without radio recognition. But, that’s just me. And despite not being the Grammy’s number one fan, I LOVE me a red carpet event because fashion.

Ahh, the red carpet. The glitz, the glamour, the style. I love it all. From ball gowns to barely there dresses, menswear and did he/she really just wear that? It all speaks to me. I have always been inspired by the fashion sense of some of my favorite celebrities so when I get to see them parade around on the red carpet right before my very eyes…AKA on the TV screen…it is such fun for me. Red carpet events give me a televised look book into what is hot this year and what is…ehhh – not so much.

The Grammy’s are an especially fun night in fashion because it is more down to earth than, say, the Oscars. Female celebrities will be seen breaking out the mini dresses and bright colors while the men can sport a more casual look and get away with it. In all honesty? After the red carpet, I usually turn the Grammy’s off. I know – shame on me. It’s just not my thing. However, you can catch me going gaga over the Oscars and Golden Globes anytime!

Anyways, after seeing all of the different clothes, styles, and choices that the red carpet brings, I am always left wondering how I would dress if I was given the opportunity to strut my stuff for the paparazzi. Well…for starters, I would need a gorgeous guy with his arm around my waist. Cue Jack White, please.

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(Image 1 from Mind Equals Blown. Image 2 from Music Of Business.)

Everyone who knows me knows that Jack White is my absolute dream man. I have his lyrics tattooed on my back, I have all of his albums from all of his bands and solo work, and I have loved him since childhood. Everything about him from his talent to staggering good looks is just perfect to me and it only makes sense to have a Grammy winner accompany me to the show!

A few things that I love about Mr. White are his strong opinions on everything from politics to The Black Keys. He knows himself well enough to be vocal about his likes and dislikes and, to me, that is so sexy. I have also really enjoyed watching his style develop over the years into what is now a very sharp and tailored red carpet persona. After the release of his 2014 album, Lazaretto (which also happens to be the song that I have lyrics tattooed from), you can see White venture away from his normal all black ensemble by incorporating patterned blazers into his look. One of which made its debut in the music video for Lazaretto.

So, how would I style my dream man, Jack White, for a night on the red carpet? It would look a little something like this:

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(Image 1 from Third Man Records. Image 2 from Most Stylish. Both blazers from Ali Express.)

When styling Jack White’s look, I was really inspired by both his album cover for Lazaretto as well as the music video for the song. I loved the deep teal suit that he sports on the album and thought that the Dolce & Gabbana suit seen above was a perfect match. However, I would have him ditch the top half of the suit for a black button down and one of the blazers (preferably the black and white one) in the pictures. This look would blend the worlds of the Lazaretto album cover and music video to a cool and cohesive red carpet look and I think that he would look just divine. All he needs to do is throw on one of his signature hats and he’s good to go!

It’s not like I picture Jack White in his underthings frequently (yeah right)…but what about his underthings? I would make sure that Mr. White is wearing the right undershirt as well as tightie whities (I had to) to prevent any red carpet mishaps. The last thing I want is my date picking at uncomfortable underoos all night! #embarassing So I would put my man in only the finest from Tommy John. Jack (since we’re on a first name basis) would be kept cool and comfortable in the Cool Cotton High V-Neck as well as the Second Skin Titanium Trunk seen below:

Now that I don’t have to worry about my date’s shirt untucking on the red carpet, what should I wear? Well, I’ve never been a glitzy, gown, glitter, and shimmer girl so you would be seeing me strutting down the runway in something menswear inspired. One of my all time favorite red carpet looks is from the 2015 Screen Actor’s Guild Awards a la Emma Stone. And I also love another Emma, as in Watson’s, take on menswear style so I would hope that I could find a happy marriage between the following looks:

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(Image 1 from US Magazine. Image 2 from Celebitchy)

Alright, you know what? I lied. Just give me Emma Stone’s outfit, please. It’s perfection. Just red carpet perfection that would be perfect for Lil Red. It is SO elegant, chic, sexy, and menswear and I really just can’t even. But…It’s missing something. A wacky pair of heels, methinks. So you would be seeing me on the runway in something like these blade runner babies because Lil Red doesn’t play it safe:

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(Shoes designed by Peter Popps.)

Now that Jack White and I are happily styled, happily dating and soon to be married, and very happily making out during the Grammy’s, all I have left for this post is a promo code for you lovelies! Ladies if you’re looking for the perfect Valentine’s Day prezzie for your man. And gentlemen, if you’re looking for the perfect look to don on Valentine’s Day for your special someone, look no further than Tommy John. All of your underthings necessities are covered with this 20% off your order promo code seen below. Now get to shopping!

NEW20

So there you have it, my Red Carpet Ready styling tips for when I have some daydreaming to do! Who do you think is going to win big at the Grammy’s tonight? Who is your red carpet dream date? I want to hear from all of you, so leave me a comment and let’s chat! Much love. -Sarah

Jan18

Choosing Your Anti V-Day Movie? These Romance Ruiners Are Perfect

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Choosing Your Anti V-Day Movie? These Romance Ruiners Are Perfect

If you’re currently in a relationship or are married then you’ll probably see Valentine’s Day as a chance to spend precious time together. However, if you’ve recently gone through a bad break up, are currently single, or aren’t really into over-commercialized holidays then February 14th is probably a not so great pink, chocolate box, themed reminder that you’re basically alone in this cruel, cruel world. 🙂

Revolutionary Road: Starring Leonardo DiCaprio and Kate Winslet as married couple Frank and April Wheeler this 2008 Oscar nominated film shows, quite literally, that love is sometimes not enough. Frank, bored by the sheer monotony of his office sales job and April, a failed actress now performing in tiny local productions are seen by the neighbors as the perfect couple. In reality, however, their marriage is built mostly on lies, deceit, and a mutual apathy towards the other person. Both husband and wife are having affairs, a spur of the moment move to Paris is thwarted when April realizes, after two children, she’s pregnant yet again and is horrified. So while Frank is pleased about the impending arrival all his wife can think about is how dull, stale, and repetitive her life is.

500 Days Of Summer: Ever wanted to see what happens when you fall madly in love with someone and they don’t really love you back? The answer is a kooky, slightly off the wall, non-linear artistic production. So 500 Days Of Summer tells the story of Summer, Zooey Deschanel, and Tom, Joseph Gordon-Levitt who meet at work one day and begin a sort of relationship. We say sort of because it’s clear that Tom, a lovelorn slightly obsessed greetings card writer is a lot more invested than Summer is. Summer, the atypical cute pixie girl isn’t interested in commitment, labels, or even hanging out with just one person. The more Tom pressures her to make them ‘official’ the cooler her feelings towards him get until they eventually break up. Awesome!

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Flickr Image, courtesy of: sinemabed

The Break Up: Meet Gary Grobowski (Vince Vaughn) and Brooke Meyers (Jennifer Aniston), a tour guide and a curator of a somewhat odd art gallery. You can see that within ten minutes of the movie starring this relationship that is not going to last, unlike a typical Jennifer Aniston rom-com this one doesn’t exactly have a happy ending. Both Gary and Brooke are fundamentally quite selfish and neither really cares what the other person is feeling. When they both childishly refuse to move out of their sought after condo the two resort to mean tricks, playground taunts, and at one point, all out sabotage.

Assassin’s Creed: Based on the sword wielding, flashy graphics and wall scaling antics of the anti hero of Ubisoft’s best selling namesake, Assassin’s Creed is the perfect antidote to all that love stuff. This is, in fact, a brand new cinema release but Showbox viewers can stream it beforehand – just Download the APK from here and enjoy! Modern day Cal Lynch (Michael Fassbender), harnesses the power of futuristic technology that allows him to travel back to fifteenth century Spain. He then experiences the life of his ancestor, Aguilar de Nerha, a deadly Assassin belonging to a secret underground order created for just one purpose. Dun dun dunnnnnn.

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Flickr Image, courtesy of: Joshua Livingston

Featured Image By: Flickr Image, courtesy of: SPDP

Apr10

DOGS

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DOGS

Hello everyone and happy Sunday! I hope all of you are having a wonderful weekend! As you guys know, our newest addition to the family was adopted on Valentine’s Day. He’s a little dog named Ollie and he’s seriously the cutest thing on the planet. Every day my family learns something new about Ollie and it has been recently discovered that he’s really afraid of storms.

The first major rainfall in Ohio happened a couple of weeks ago and Ollie was so scared that he retreated under my bed. We didn’t know this, though, and my dad ended up calling my boyfriend and I upstairs from the basement because he couldn’t find Ollie anywhere. We scoured all of the closets, cabinets, and corners and finally Kyle found him curled up under my bed. It was so scary not being able to find him for those few minutes so it was definitely a huge relief when Kyle discovered Ollie’s hiding place.

Now that we know of Ollie’s storm phobia we decided to break out the thunder coat that belonged to one of our past precious pooches. But the trick is, is that the thunder coat is five times too big for little Ollie! My mom and I managed to figure out a way to get the coat wrapped and secured on Ollie and he was then able to brave the next storm like the big boy that he is! Take a look:

^^^ Omg. SO cute.

I love how the thunder coat looks like a little cape on Ollie! He looks like a tiny super hero dog. The picture of me holding him was taken when it was raining and I couldn’t get over how adorable the way I was holding him was. He got himself like that on his own and it was like cradling a fury little toddler!

So there you have it, some cute new pictures of my brave wittle Ollie!! Has anyone welcomed a new pet into their home recently? How do you help comfort a pup that is afraid of storms? I want to hear from all of you, so leave me a comment and let’s chat! Much love. -Sarah

Feb17

It’s A Boy!

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It’s A Boy!

Hi everyone and happy Hump Day! I hope the week is going fabulously so far for all of you. On Valentine’s Day my family said “yes” to opening our home to a sweet baby boy. His name is…Well, he doesn’t have a name yet but he’s the cutest little stinker on the planet. He has four legs, soft fur, a tail, and ears that stand up like a bunny. He’s not a cat, he’s not a tiger, nor an armadillo. Baby No Name is a dog! Take a look at the newest edition to the Mushenheim family:

olly2

^^^ It’s A Boy…Dog!! ❤

My family works closely with the amazing rescue group, Canine Lifeline, so of course we adopted baby bear through them! Our Golden Retriever and peanut’s big sister, Gem, was also adopted through CLL two years ago. Both pups came from a rural shelter in Kentucky and ended up being taken in by CLL a few states away in Ohio. My family has been thinking of adopting a new dog for quite some time and this feeling was intensified when my sister moved to her own apartment, taking her rescue pup, Winston, with her.

After looking through the dogs available for adoption on CLL’s website daily, we finally came across our peanut. On February thirteenth, we took him home for the day and over night to see how he would interact with Gem. We bathed him, cuddled him, and played our time away and by Valentine’s Day, we were smitten. Not only did we adore him but Gem got along with him just fine and is very excited about her new little brother!

Peanut is the most precious little pup and he’s definitely a change of pace from all of the other sweet dogs that we’ve had throughout the ages. We’ve never had a dog as small as him before so it’s been fun being able to pick him up and hold him like the baby he is! The only problem we’ve had thus far is that we can’t come up with a name for the life of us!

From the moment my mom and I picked peanut up on the thirteenth, we’ve been spit balling names like nobody’s business. We are both dead set on his name being “Oliver” but calling him “Ollie” for short. Unfortunately, my dad isn’t quite sold on that idea yet. So now, I need everyone’s help! Asides from doing me a solid and visiting CLL’s website and giving their Facebook page a like, I want your suggestions on what to name peanut! In case you forgot what he looks like, here’s another darling pic of our baby:

olly

^^^ I LOVE THIS DOG!!!!

My family is so proud to have our household be little peanut’s “forever home” and we can’t wait to begin making memories with him! What do you think we should name our baby boy? Do you have a pet adoption story to share? I wanna hear from all of you, so leave me a comment and let’s chat! Much love. -Sarah

Feb15

Monday Update: Valentine’s Day Edition

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Monday Update: Valentine’s Day Edition

Hellooo everyone and happy Monday! I hope everyone had a fantastic weekend and a lovely Valentine’s Day if you celebrated. Yesterday was my first time ever celebrating Valentine’s Day with my boyfriend, Kyle, and it was certainly a day for the memory books! Take a look at us being cute and then let’s discuss:

^^^ I love us!!

Yesterday our day started out kind of late because we both slept in but it was so nice and much needed. By the time we got ourselves ready, it was already noon and we still had no idea what we wanted to do with ourselves for the day. Kyle and I are literally the worst at picking out places to go to for food, drinks, or activities so we usually just end up binge watching Netflix all day…Not that there’s anything wrong with that!

We went back and forth for a solid half hour on where to go for lunch and thanks to a shocking suggestion from Kyle, settled on an Indian buffet. I absolutely LOVE Indian food and Kyle has never tried it, nor do I think he wanted to that much! Spicy foods and Kyle don’t always get along too well. I’ve been talking about wanting some good Indian food for a while so it was definitely a pleasant and sweet surprise when he came up with that idea.

We Google searched for Indian restaurants close by and were presented with two options and a Kentucky Fried Chicken. We decided to go for Bombay Sitar because of the amazing looking food pictures we saw that were snapped on Yelp. After all of the last minute preparations at home, we were finally ready to go and I was SO excited and so insanely HUNGRY.

The thing about me, is that I’m one of the biggest babies on the planet. When I’m A) really tired or B) really hungry I turn in to such a little diva. Thankfully, the restaurant wasn’t too far away and we didn’t have to wait long to take part in the buffet so Kyle didn’t have to deal with too much sass! As soon as we walked in the restaurant, I began to droll because of how good everything smelled so needless to say, I tore that buffet up!

At Bombay Sitar, they brilliantly arranged the buffet in a vegetarian and meat section and I took a helping of everything that the vegetarian side had to offer. By the time Kyle and I made our rounds around the buffet, my plate was piled with food and I was ready for action. I couldn’t wait to get the first few forkfuls down my gullet but I was also looking forward to Kyle’s reaction to the food. I had a feeling that he would like it but it was a definite possibility that Indian food might not be his cup of tea.

Luckily, after our first few bites, I had nothing to worry about! Kyle completely devoured his plate full of Indian cuisine and went back for seconds and dessert. He even contemplated going back for thirds!! Success! Our lunch was absolutely to die for but let me tell you, mama needed a nap afterwards. Like I said, I adore Indian food and if it were up to me, I would eat it all the time. However, the richness of the dishes are my downfall and I’m always left feeling like I need to sleep for thirty-six hours straight after an Indian meal.

Once we got home, we decided to spend the afternoon in. We lounged in the robes that were deemed “too tattered” from the restaurant and villas Kyle works at, binge watched Wentworth, and played Mario Kart. We both agreed that the downtime would do us good and then in the evening we would go out for a light dinner and drinks. But leave it to the most indecisive/cutest couple ever to turn that idea into a wild goose chase!

We came up with the plan of going to a pet store and then hitting up a nearby restaurant to continue the festivities. I have my heart dead set on getting a bunny so Kyle was going to take me to snuggle up with some little critters and see if there were any that caught my eye. Unfortunately, the pet store was closed by the time we got there so we had to push dinner to the top of the priority list.

We began to drive around the shopping area we were in to scope out a nice place to go. Of course, with it being Valentine’s Day and all, every bar and restaurant was jam packed. We ventured on and brainstormed different places and ideas, which all ended up getting vetoed for some reason or another. At this point, I was getting sleepy from the drive and really just wanted to go back into our little basement bungalow. That’s when we both agreed on the idea to go to Pizza Hut and order the biggest, cheesiest, stuffed crust pizza that we could get our hands on.

Kyle and I had to laugh at the fact that it took us being twenty minutes away to come up with the idea that we should get a pizza – something that easily could have been done from home! After rerouting the trip, we ended up at the Pizza Hut that’s literally two minutes away from his house to order our pizza. We waited in store for our Extreme Cheese Lovers pie to bake, took the cute pictures seen above, and doodled on the little chalkboard they had set up that was obviously meant for children.

Finally, our pizza was ready and we headed back home. We piled our plates high, got back into our PJ’s, and turned Wentworth back on to continue our marathon. It. Was. Perfect. Kyle is watching the season premiere of The Walking Dead as I write this and soon it will be time for more pizza, more Netflix, and bedtime after the best first Valentine’s Day a gal could ask for. I love you, Kyle Kyle! ❤

So there you have it, this week’s Monday Update: Valentine’s Day Edition! How did everyone celebrate V-Day? What was the best or worst Valentine’s Day you’ve ever had? I wanna hear from all of you, so leave me a comment and let’s chat! Much love. -Sarah

Feb14

Happy Valentine’s Day!

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Happy Valentine’s Day!

Hiii everyone and happy Valentine’s Day! I’m going to keep this post short and sweet because this is my first Valentine’s Day in my twenty-one years of living that I have a boyfriend to celebrate with. It’s crazy to think that last year I got stood up for a V-Day date and now I get to have a special day with my darling beau of six months! I hope all of you have a wonderful day whether that be with your significant other, your family, a best friend, a box of chocolates, or three bottles of wine. 🙂

A Valentine’s Day post wouldn’t be complete without some romance so enjoy a reading of my favorite poem of all time by Leon Phelps:

❤ HAPPY VALENTINE’S DAY! ❤

Feb15

Treat Yoself! Valentine’s Day Edition

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Treat Yoself! Valentine’s Day Edition

Hey guys! So yesterday I had an absolutely lovely day of Valentine’s Day shopping – TJMaxx and Target were very good to me! I had to treat myself like a princess yesterday because no one else did (lol) and no fucks were given…because no one loves Lil Red better than Lil Red! So here’s the purchases that set my bank account back a little farther than I’d like, but it was so worth it!!!

shopping

As usual, here’s a list of the brand names of each item. (All of the pieces pictured above are from TJ’s.)

  • Pointed toe ankle boots: Vince Camuto
  • Quilted tall boots: Rampage
  • Lace peasant skirt: Flying Tomato
  • Harem pants: Japna

I was SO excited when I found my pair of Vince Camuto’s. These beauties were on the clearance rack and I got them for twenty-nine bucks as opposed to the original one hundred and twelve! Such a steal!!! I have a feeling that these are going to be my new go to booties, I seriously plan on wearing them with everything. I’m looking forward to wearing them with my new harem pants, dresses and tights, and of course my black coated skinny jeans (I only wear black coated denim!)! But the beautiful thing about these booties is that they can easily be worn in the summer time as well (which is a nice thing to fantasize about considering it’s a whopping zero degrees in Akron, Ohio -___-). I can’t wait to pair these bad boys with cute little shorts, maxi skirts, and sun dresses all summer long! At Target I found a plain black crop top and a really pretty white lacey one that I tried on but didn’t buy. Naturally, I couldn’t stop thinking about them when I got home, so I went to Target’s website and was so happy to see that the tops were twenty percent off online on top of the extra five percent I get for using my Target Red Card. With all of these deals I got both crop tops for twenty dolla AND I got free shipping. #fabulous I’m pretty hyped about the white crop top because it’s going to match perfectly with my new lace peasant skirt!! It’s gonna look so pretty! :*) I’ve been meaning to get a plain black crop for forever now, so I figured “why not” and bought that too. You can’t beat two for twenty! #treatyoself

^^^ Best shopping themed song EVERRRRR! Jupiter Rising is such a guilty pleasure!

So there you have it, my special Valentine’s Day treat to my favorite gal in the world…ME!!! How did you guys celebrate V-Day yesterday? How did you treat yoself or your significant other? I wanna hear from all of you, so leave me a comment and let’s chat! Much Love. -Sarah

Feb13

Valentine’s Day: A Memoir

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Valentine’s Day: A Memoir

Hey hey guys. Alright: Valentine’s Day is just around the corner – so take a deep breath and allow me to be the voice of reason to those of you who aren’t doing a damn thing tomorrow….because I’m right there with you! Here’s a few things for you to remember before you binge eat seven boxes of chocolate and let the water works flow free while you watch The Notebook for the ninety-second time:

1) You’ve been single every day this year….Valentine’s Day is no different!

grumpycat

^^ A little harsh, Grumpy Cat…but you get the point. I get so annoyed by the whiny people who are desperate for a Valentine. Riddle me this: Do you really want a date for one night with some equally desperate sleazeball who’s probably more concerned about having sex than anything else? The answer is no, you don’t! And if you get approached by one of these said sleazeballs, flip your gorgeous mane of hair and walk away. STORY TIME! So I don’t know if you guys remember when I told you about that pathetic excuse of a man who broke up with me via Facebook, but he got in touch with me this week. (#ew) He suggested we go see a movie – I suggested he go fuck himself. Moral of the story: I could have easily said he should take me out on a Valentine’s Day date this weekend but I have standards. AND I hate him! In other words, don’t let your standards drop for one night of frivolity.

2) Valentine’s Day can be just as fun without a significant other – hello Galentine’s Day!:

galentinesday

I LOVE Galentine’s Day! Me and my beloved best friend Kate will be having our G-Day festivities tonight and it should be a beautiful time! What are we gonna do? I honestly have no idea, actually. Probably shovel bread sticks from the Olive Garden into our pie holes at a record speed, get wine drunk, and go see 50 Shades of Grey. Note: We absolutely will be wine drunk at the movie theater, and I am SO okay with this. Who needs a date night with a guy when you can have a date night with your best girl friend? Long live Galentine’s Day!!!!

3) If I knew you….I would date you:

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That’s right, you heard me. If I knew all of you fabulous readers, I would take you on the hottest date imaginable. So if you’re lonely and feeling down and out tomorrow, do me a solid and just think about me. I can guarantee you that I’m going to be having just as shitty of a time so send me the good vibes and I’ll send them right back your way. To prove just how serious I am, let me spit a little poetry at ya:

Roses are red. Violets are blue. When I see dat ass…I don’t know what to do. 😉

Still don’t believe my sincerity? Then I also dedicate this thought provoking poem from one of my personal favorites “The Ladies Man” to you:

DOES NOT THE WIND LOVE THE DIRT?!!? Inspiring.

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Alright guys, I’m peacing out but I just wanna let you know that you’re all gorgeous, fabulous, and fine as hell. Have a splendid Valentine’s Day doing whatever it is that you do. If you’re having a lovely candle lit dinner with your lover, think about me doing nothing tomorrow. If you’re laying in bed surrounded by used Kleenex and a half empty bottle of wine…think about me doing nothing tomorrow. What’s everyone up to for V-Day? Do you have any stories of a Valentine’s Day gone wrong? What was the best V-Day gift you ever received? I wanna hear from all of you, so leave me a comment and let’s chat! Much Love. -The very single Sarah ❤

^^Thanks, Beyonce.

 

Jan23

The Single Sarah’s Guide To Valentine’s Day

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The Single Sarah’s Guide To Valentine’s Day

So last night as I was brainstorming new post ideas for lifewithlilred, it occurred to me that Valentine’s Day is right around the corner. As usual, I’ll be single as fuck this Valentine’s Day. This is the twentieth V-Day in a row that I’ll be wining and dining myself, because getting an extra lollipop from this little boy in kindergarten who wanted to be my Valentine doesn’t count. To elaborate further on that, I’m pretty sure I kicked him in the shin and ran away. I’m not going to mention his name, but you know who you are and if you’re reading this – call me! So what do the people who are forever alone on Valentine’s Day do other than sob and eat chocolate from a heart shaped box in bed? Well contrary to popular belief, being single on Valentine’s Day is just as if not MORE stressful than being in a relationship because you have to think of ways to make yourself feel not pathetic all day. So here’s my without fail guide to making myself feel like the only girl in the world on Valentine’s Day, because I’m a strong, independent woman WHO DON’T NEED NO MAN!

independent

Waking Up: Good morning, single lady and happy Valentine’s Day to you! First things first, you need to work up the inner strength to get yourself out of bed. This is a struggle in itself, so take as much time as you need, pray on it if that’s your thing, take it nice and slow and hoist yourself out of bed while whispering “you can do this, you can do this” to yourself. As soon as you’re out of bed, pat yourself on the butt because no one else is gonna do it for you today and congratulate yourself on a job well done.

*V-Day Pro Tip: Make your alarm clock ring tone Beyonce’s single girl anthem “Single Ladies (Put a Ring on It).

Have A Pep Talk With Yourself: It’s time to get ready for the day, so make your way to the bathroom to take care of your daily beauty routines, be careful not to over exert yourself. Once you’re safely in the bathroom, it’s time to give yourself a Valentine’s Day pep talk. Look yourself dead in the eye in the mirror and repeat after me: “I am single. I am sexy. I will eat as much Taco Bell as I want today. I will get wine drunk and watch Legally Blonde. I don’t need a man to complete me.” Cry, and repeat. Once you’re all hyped up or possibly more depressed, get yourself looking fierce as hell because you have a hot date with yourself for the day.

*V-Day Pro Tip: There’s nothing wrong with listening to “Eye Of The Tiger” as you give yourself your pep talk.

bear

Lunch Time: Alright sassy girl, it’s time for lunch, so make your way to the nearest Taco Bell immediately. Strut your sexy self to the cash register, and flirtatiously tell the cashier that you’ll take one of everything. If you really are ordering one of everything, I commend you for having a stomach and will power that is far greater than my own. If not, proceed with your order. DO NOT feel ashamed at how much you order from TBell, because the beauty of that place is that you can order hella food and no one will ever really think anything of it. It’s such a blessing. Get your food, and enjoy. You deserve it. Savor the glorious artificially cheesy taste and take shots of mild sauce. Feel free to get seconds or thirds, this is YOUR day.

*V-Day Pro Tip: If you flirt hard enough with the Taco Bell cashier, you might get free Cinnamon Twists.

kanye

Afternoon Of Sass: My number one rule for Valentine’s Day is and feel free to take notes: Get all of your out and about activities done before the evening. The evening is when the couples come out of their happy relationship nooks and crannies and display their boyfriend/girlfriend status for all to see. And honey, you don’t have to witness that. Anyways, it’s the afternoon, you’re probably still bloated from Taco Bell, but that’s okay. I’m an avid believer in treating yourself no matter what the day, but since you’re your very own hot Valentine’s Day date, you have full permission to go crazy for yourself. Get a manicure AND pedicure, buy that Michael Kors purse you’ve been lusting over for three solid weeks, open a bottle of wine in Giant Eagle and drink the entire thing in one gulp then run away. ANYTHING GOES. This Valentine’s Day I plan on getting some major shopping done in the afternoon and possibly getting my hair dyed at the salon instead of doing it at home. #treatyoself The afternoon is a perfect time to start drinking as well, so throw back a few cosmos and give the death glare to anyone judging you.

*V-Day Pro Tip: Give yourself a spending limit for the day, because two bottles of wine in and online shopping can lead to bankruptcy.

treatyoself_main01drank

Friendly Reminder: While you’re having your out and about afternoon it’s crucial that you remember to get a few things:

  • Chick flicks
  • Wine and/or hard liquor
  • Chocolate, chocolate, chocolate
  • Chinese take out for dinner

*V-Day Pro Tip: Make sure you have an abundance of tissues handy. You’ll thank me later.

sanjaya2

#Datenight: Alright my single ladies, it’s time for your evening of solitude. NOT THAT THERE’S ANYTHING WRONG WITH THAT!!! So it’s time to get into your comfiest, coziest pajamas or just get completely naked, whatever makes you happy. This is your day! Prior to your Valentine’s night rendezvous with yourself, I’d recommend getting one of those super soft fleece blankets if you don’t have one already – they’re great to cuddle with! Now is the time to bring everything into bed with you – your dinner, chocolates, alcohol, ice cream, tissues, tampons, and gossip magazines because it’s chick flick time! Legally Blonde is always one of my all time favorites to watch, but other good ones include The Devil Wears Prada, Clueless, or the Jennifer Lopez classic: Gigli. (Please PLEASE know that that was a joke. Do not, I repeat DO NOT watch Gigli.) Avoid romantic movies like The Notebook at all costs and steer towards some feel good female empowerment flicks. You don’t need a Nicholas Sparks movie to remind you further of your singlehood. Crack open the vino, shovel chocolates down your gullet at a rapid speed and enjoy!

*V-Day Pro Tip: You are GORGEOUS and I would date you!!!!

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Alright my lovely single ladies, there you have it – my guide to Valentine’s Day! Please know that this post was all made in good humor and that there is nothing wrong with being a single chicka on V-Day or any day!

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What are some humorous Valentine’s Day activities that I missed? What’s your favorite single girl activity to do on V-Day? I’d love to hear from you, so leave me a comment and let’s chat! Happy Friday! -Sarah