Tag Archives: the feels

Mar20

Coronavirus Vibe Killer

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Coronavirus Vibe Killer

Hi everyone! In the midst of all of this coronavirus craziness, I hope that all of my dear friends and readers are staying safe, happy, and healthy as panic spreads and toilet paper runs scarce. Everyone seems to be quarantining themselves from work, school, and other commitments and gatherings at movie theaters, concerts, and the like have been cancelled.

Normally, I would be stoked on literal government permission to not leave my house. Believe you me, I fantasize about that on mornings where it’s particularly hard to get out of bed and get to work. But, goddamn gang, I am SO disappointed because all of the fun events that I have been looking forward to are dropping out like flies.

For example, I was supposed to see Jesus Christ Super Star twice within one week at Playhouse Square in Cleveland and when it got cancelled your girl was just devastated. I have wanted to see that show live since my youth and seeing it twice was probably one of the best things to ever happen to me… until it didn’t. -___-

My boyfriend’s band, The Outside Voices, was also supposed to open for Molly Hatchet in April, which got the boot amid this unnerving time worldwide too. Am I shocked? No. It’s the right thing to do to protect our vulnerable populations. Am I disappointed? You better fucking believe it!

Yes, I’m disappointed in my festivities being cancelled. But, damn, I’m the most disappointed about certain behaviors that I have seen manifesting during this difficult time. There is absolutely NO need to be stockpiling mass amounts of food and product, preventing those who also need some to be left empty handed. I have also been sickened to see that people have been selling their hoards at an extremely marked up price on Facebook marketplace to make a quick buck. It’s shameful.

I’m sick of the racist remarks, I’m tired of the selfishness, and I urge all of you to take a minute and reflect on everything that is going on and how you can help. Whether that be Purel-ing your hands constantly to stop the spread of germs or packing a lunch for children who might need it now that the schools are shut down. We are all in this together, so let’s start acting like it! Thanks for coming to my Ted Talk.

How have you been dealing with the coronavirus panic? How has your life been affected by it? I want to hear from all of you, so leave me a comment and let’s chat! Much love. -Sarah

Jan20

Therapy Update (Since You Asked!)

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Therapy Update (Since You Asked!)

Hellooo! So I’ve gotten quite a few requests for a follow up post about my journey that I started a month or so ago when I chose to go back to therapy. So, here it is! I’ll tell you what, the first few weeks were hard with a capital H-A-R-D. I forgot about the whole therapy process of feeling like utter shit after unearthing painful memories. So, for about three or so weeks, I was a hot mess. I was extremely depressed, mentally and physically exhausted, and retreating to old not so good habits.

But then, the hour long appointments began getting easier and I was even starting to enjoy going to them. First of all, I freaking love my therapist. She is so kind and easy to talk to AND she laughs at all of my bad jokes, which is a wonderful added bonus. On our first session together, she taught me about the importance of deep breathing when I am feeling stressed, upset, or overwhelmed and I employ that skill often now. It’s crazy how something that we don’t even think about, like breathing, can make you feel so much better and clear headed once you take a moment to pause and take a good, deep breath.

My therapist has also helped me with changing my thought patterns, because I tend to have an “it’s the end of the world” mind frame when something goes wrong, so we have worked on addressing that. It’s so nice to have a safe place to go and express my feelings and troubles every week with no judgement or backlash. I look forward to my therapy sessions and am proud of the progress that I have made thus far.

How do you do something good for your mental health? How do you calm yourself when you are upset? I want to hear from all of you, so leave me a comment and let’s chat! Much love. -Sarah

Jan29

I Still Get Jealous

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I Still Get Jealous

Heyy everyone and TGIF! Have any of you ever gone through your social media pages and have just felt insanely jealous of people? This happens to Lil Red on occasion and it really grinds my gears. It’s one of those things where you see everyone and their brother on your friends list being happier, better, prettier, etc than you and it can really get a gal down. So what brings on these feelings? What can you do to remedy them? Take a listen to an ironic choice in music and then let’s discuss:

^^^ I had to!

This past week I saw that a girl who I went to high school with was studying abroad in France and Italy and it made me SO insanely jealous. That’s one thing that I would love to do and that I have mentioned frequently on the ol’ blog and to basically anyone who will listen. A thing about me is that when I want things, I want them ASAP. So to see someone who is my age essentially living my dream kind of killed me. It can be hard to see people doing something that you want so desperately while you’re sitting in Akron, Ohio being miserable. -__-

As soon as I became green with envy over this, I began to evaluate my life and what I was doing wrong. I was turning the pages in my mind of everything that I could be doing and that just made me feel even worse. I then made a mental list of everything that I do and all of the responsibilities I have and it felt like a slap in the face. I was doing what felt like a lot but I still couldn’t have this one thing that I really want.

My mental list ended up looking something like this:

  • Attending school full time at Tri-C.
  • Coaching figure skating for the Special Olympics.
  • Transporting both of my siblings who can’t drive multiple times per week.
  • Working as a freelance writer for different companies, artists, and musicians.
  • Doing consultations for individuals who would like to start their own blog.
  • Working for two different media companies on my social media pages.
  • Working for the Ohio Board of Developmental Disabilities to make sure that everyone is receiving the best care possible.

With all of these things stacking up in my day, I barely have time to breathe but it still didn’t seem good enough. But then I started to think about how I work my ass off every day and am doing so much to improve the lives of others. I reminded myself that it will be my turn to travel soon enough and that it would be all the more sweeter when it finally does happen. Then the mental list began to shift and it looked more like this:

Mental list take two:

  • I work hard at school and have gotten all A’s since I began college last year.
  • I bring joy into the lives of my skaters and their families.
  • I help improve the quality of life for others.
  • I get both of my siblings to where they need to be when they need it.
  • My freelance work has been really taking off and I have the articles, followers, and media companies that I work through to prove it.

Yes, it does suck when you want something that you simply can’t have. It also sucks even more when you see someone with what you desire so much. However, all I can do is keep on going because I am making great strides on my own even if I don’t feel that way sometimes. It can be hard to remember that at times but when I do it definitely helps easy my jealousy!

In the words of Nick Jonas, “I Still Get Jealous”, but that won’t stop me from continuing to keep on trucking and working hard! What is something that makes you jealous? What do you do to help with those feelings? I wanna hear from all of you, so leave me a comment and let’s chat! Much love. -Sarah

Sep14

Emotional. WHAT OF IT?

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Have you ever felt like your world is spinning? Just spinning. Spinning. Like it’s gonna swallow you whole and sweep you off into a whirlwind of shitty feelings, dark thoughts, and an abyss so deep and ominous that the only thoughts you can let yourself think is how in the fuck you’re gonna get yourself out. I guess that’s what I’m going through tonight. Or have been going through for a while. It’s hard when your emotions are either so insanely happy to the point that it’s almost manic to so incredibly sad to the point that you can’t even get out of bed. I’m so thankful for this blog. That’s a dumb thing to be thankful for…actually I take that back. It’s not at all. When I write about how I’m feeling, I feel like the cinder block constantly pushing down on my chest…weighing me down with constant anxiety, depression, and paranoia is slightly lifted. Only a few millimeters at most….but enough that I can breath a bit easier. Enough that the thoughts in my head aren’t sprinting at a million miles per hour but slowed down to a more leisurely pace of nine hundred thousand nine hundred and ninety nine miles per hour. So shout out to this blog. Shout out to writing. Shout out to sharing. Shout out to feeling a smidgen better than before. Shout out to you for reading this. Have an amazing night. Be smart. Be safe. Be HAPPY. Love and good thoughts – Sarah