Hello hello! So this review of “Bullseye” which was episode six of American Horror Story: Freak Show is going to be short and sweet. Partially because I’m exhausted and I have to be up early for school tomorrow AND also because this wasn’t a very exciting episode. Nothing too important happened tonight, but let me give you the main high lights and then we’ll call it a night. Ya dig?

Dandy’s new playmates: As you know, last weeks episode ended with Elsa dropping Bette and Dotte onto Dandy’s doorstep. We learn after Gloria passes a serving platter with condoms on it to Dandy that she would love for him to mate with the twins. She states that inbreeding has caused the Mott family enough turmoil already. However, Dandy states that he would never violate the girls because he loves them. “I’m going to marry those girls, mother. And we’re going to be together forever.” As usual, the twins have extremely opposing opinions as to how they view Dandy boy. Naturally, Bette absolutely adores him while Dotte despises him. We learn later when Dandy reads her journal that he bores her and she can’t bear living with him. But Dotte is crafty. After Dandy reads a newspaper article to the girls about the first set of conjoined twins being separated, Dotte decides it would be beneficial to keep on Dandy and his money’s good side so the surgery can be performed on her and Bette.

Paul is GETTIN IT: Tonight we learn a little bit more about Paul AKA “The Illustrated Seal”, who turns out to be quite the ladies man. HUBBA HUBBA. First we see Paul shacking up with Elsa, which was kind of a shocker. THEN flash forward thirty seconds later and we find him in bed with none other than the hospital worker who participated in the freak show orgy in the season premiere. It turns out Mr. Paul fell in love with this gal while he was banging her with the freak show crew. Well played. Not only is Paul getting ass for days, but he also displays some street smarts through out the episode tonight as well. He becomes keen to the possibility that Elsa may have had something to do with Bette and Dotte’s disappearance from the carnival. He confides his suspicions to Jimmy which results in a slap in the face from him. Jimmy claims that Paul is ungrateful and that he should remember all of the good that Elsa has done for the troupe. A night goes by and Paul is back in Elsa’s tent – he tries to leave without giving Elsa a good night kiss but miss girl is NOT having that. She beckons him over but can instantly smell the perfume of his other woman. “You reek of Venisian Romance”. Once she learns of the betrayal of her lover she calls a troupe meeting because she’s well aware of the shit talking that’s happening in regards to the twins’ disappearance. Elsa throws a BF (#bitchfit) and questions where everyone’s loyalty and faith in her has went. She then says that the only way for her to trust in any of the crew is if they trust in her. She insists upon one of the freaks getting hooked onto the spinning bullseye wheel while she displays her knife throwing skills. Jimmy volunteers, but Paul steps forward saying that it should be him. So onto the wheel Paul goes while Amazon Eve spins it. The first two knives Miss Elsa throws land safely, but the third one goes straight into her target’s stomach. Ouch. Moral of the story? Don’t betray Elsa. *Snaps fingers*

Stanley and Maggie’s evil plans: The twins are gone, so the con artists Stanley and Maggie need a new victim to get a big paycheck from. Stanley makes it apparent that he wants Jimmy’s lobster claws, but Maggie vetoes this idea since she now has the hots for Jimmy. She suggests a different alternative – Ma Petite. “It will be quick, easy, and she won’t fight back.” Stanley approves the plan, and leaves Maggie to do the dirty work. Miss Esmeralda sneaks into Ma Petite’s tent in the middle of the night and wakes her up. She tells the tiny princess that she has a surprise for her in a barn by the camp grounds. While Maggie walks with the little one in her arms she exclaims “the moon is beautiful! You are beautiful!” Ugh. So. Fucking. Cute. Once in the barn, Maggie tells Ma Petite that they’re going to play a game. She says she’s going to put Ma Petite in one of the glass jars already prepared in the barn. “Like a butterfly?!” The little one asks. “Like a butterfly,” Maggie confirms. While the sweet girl is in the jar flapping her hands like wings, Maggie holds a bottle of what appears to be some type of poison over the jar. Thankfully she couldn’t bring herself to commit the deed because the next morning she appears with Ma Petite in her arms to get breakfast. Afterwards, Maggie tells Jimmy to run away with her. To up and leave to where ever they want to go. They share a kiss and Jimmy tells her to pack her bags. Miss girl runs to her tent only to find Stanley there with the command to lure Jimmy to the barn so he can get a hold of his lobster claws. Bastard. -_____-

We end the episode with sweet Dandy Boy delivering a weird monologue to his mother about how he was born to bring death and that he’ll never experience love and blah blah blah. When suddenly, Jimmy shows up at the door. (Jimmy is told by Paul that Dandy might have something to do with the disappearance of the twins because of an encounter he had with him at a drug store. While at the check out counter, Paul saw Dandy purchasing a bunch of female items – in sets of two.) So here Jimmy is being escorted into the Mott residence. Little does he know, before his arrival Dandy has placed a dagger in the back of his pants. Duhhh duhhh duhhhhnnnnn.

Alright so there you have it. If you’ve read this article you’ve basically gotten the gist of episode six of American Horror Story: Freak Show. Congratulations! With that, I am off to bed. If you have any questions or concerns, please leave me a comment and let’s chat! Goodnight. -Sarah