Tag Archives: boundaries

Oct2

Lil Red’s Guide To Setting Boundaries

Posted on by
Standard
Lil Red’s Guide To Setting Boundaries

Hello my sweets! One thing that I have struggled with all of my life is setting boundaries for myself. Although I wasn’t a fan of the therapist who I was seeing, this is something that she encouraged and I agree. Living a boundary free life and being a constant yes man is only going to lead to your own demise. For me, this came in the form of massive burnout, poor mental health, and bottom of the barrel self worth and esteem. I am trying to be better at establishing boundaries and sticking to them and here is what I have been working on:

Learning To Say No:

Saying “no” is one of the hardest things for me – especially when someone needs my help. This saying is cliche, but it really is true – you can’t help others until you help yourself. One of the things that I need to work on is re-framing my thoughts because I can’t help but feel like a bad person when I say no. My mantra when I am getting in my feels about it is “You are not a bad person. You are a good person. Your boundaries are appropriate.” It is something that I am constantly reminding myself of and, with time, I am hopeful that my thought patterns will change.

Do What You Can:

My uncle gave me some advice that I really liked when discussing boundaries with him. He said what helps him is to say “Well, I can’t do this BUT I can do that”. I like this because it puts me in control of the situation and what I am willing to give. It’s also a nice reminder that I can’t do everything but I can do something and that is a comforting place to be. I will definitely be utilizing this pro tip and it feels good to have a technique that is so simple, but effective.

Have A Support Team:

My aunt and uncle have been an amazing support team for me and we talk on the phone frequently. When I told them that boundaries are something I’m making an effort to work on, they were so proud and it made me feel proud too. Setting boundaries can feel like a bad thing to me and it was uplifting to hear that it really is a great thing. Hearing my aunt say “you go, girl” when I was telling her about a text I sent was motivating because it let me know I am on the right track. When you are making a change in your life, you need people in your corner and I am so thankful I have that.

Hold Yourself Accountable:

Setting boundaries is a brand new thing to me and I understand that I need to hold myself accountable. In other words, I can’t just talk the talk but I need to walk the walk too. Wanting to change and actually changing are two completely different things. As I work on this new goal, I know that I need to keep myself in check. I can do this by checking in with my support squad and standing firm with my boundaries. And, yes, standing firm with these boundaries even if they are not respected. It will be hard, but no one ever said a big change is easy!

I am working really hard on myself and I am proud to be doing this for me. I try to be very honest with all of you about my mental health and, honestly, it has been hanging on by a thread. I am looking forward to feeling better and I can’t wait to meet my new therapist so we can work on boundary setting even more!

How do you set boundaries for yourself? What is something that you struggle with? I want to hear from all of you, so leave me a comment and let’s chat! Much love. -Sarah

Jan30

How To Keep Your Aging Loved One Happy & Healthy

Posted on by
Standard
How To Keep Your Aging Loved One Happy & Healthy

When it comes to aging loved ones, they tend to be the ones that face the most loneliness. It’s quite sad, but there is something that you can do about it. More specifically, there are ways that you can keep your aging loved one happy and healthy throughout the rest of their life. It’s not nearly as challenging as you may think so here is everything you need to know:

Encourage physical activities:

If your aging loved one is not getting adequate exercise, you should encourage them to be more active. Exercise helps strengthen muscles, improves balance, and helps reduce the risk of diseases such as heart disease, stroke, and diabetes. It also promotes healthy aging. Many seniors are afraid of exercising, but they need to stay active to protect their health, as any cardiac surgeon will tell you. Encourage your senior loved one to keep up with their physical activity by showing them the benefits of doing so.

Set boundaries around your caregiving relationship:

It can be challenging having to take care of your aging loved ones and it is important to set boundaries. This can sometimes be easier said than done! Some people find it difficult to say no to their parents. They may feel guilty and want to say yes to everything. The most important thing to remember when setting boundaries is to be clear. You do not want to be perceived as being a doormat or rude. Instead, be thoughtful and respectful. If you want to ensure your aging loved ones are happy and doing well, then you need to know it starts with you and how you feel. Boundaries will help keep both parties happy.

Encourage meaningful conversations:

Having those heart-to-heart conversations means a lot. Seniors’ minds are often a source of wisdom and experience. Sharing memories can be a fun and uplifting way to connect with them. You can ask them how they’re feeling or even try to take a trip down memory lane with them. Overall, it’s just so important to engage in these sorts of conversations; they’re very powerful and can help combat loneliness.

Make them feel safe:

Using the latest upgrades to home safety, such as personal medical alarm technology and sensors to detect falls, can give seniors the peace of mind they deserve. Other less obvious solutions include installing an intelligent alarm system, putting a lock on the front door, and removing items in the home that could be considered hazardous. If they’re living in a nursing home, you’re going to want to ensure that they’re staying safe there too. In cases like this, inform them of a nearby  Nursing Home Abuse Center for additional help.

Remember that there’s no top-end age limit for when they should go into a residential community with more connections to their peers, so looking through 55 and older communities could be the best way to help them feel more satisfied in their comfortable living arrangements. This might feel like a step backwards for your loved one and their independence but it can really be a wonderful thing. These communities are just that – a community that can nurture new friendships, passions, and mental and physical wellness. When you research quality home like options, you will find all kinds of amenities like gyms, hobby classes, beauty salons, and so much more to create a meaningful and comfortable experience.

Find a hobby or activity that they may enjoy:

Some common hobbies for seniors include bird watching, art, music, or even genealogy. These activities can provide a relaxing way for your senior to connect with the outdoors and enjoy nature. You can also consider joining a book club. The books in a book club can range from serious to light-hearted, but the club’s goal is to bring people together to discuss a topic. Another idea for a new hobby for your senior is to look online. Many online gaming communities and websites exist to offer people a wide variety of games and activities. There are also a number of apps available to help you get started.

Form a care team:

A family member like yourself may need extra help taking care of an aging parent or loved one. You shouldn’t do it all alone, which is why you need to have a care team. The best way to find a good fit is to talk to your family. You want to know what your aging parent’s wants and needs are. Your own goals are also important. This includes keeping your loved one safe and comfortable and providing emotional support. If you have the means, you can even hire a financial planner to protect your loved one’s assets, as this tends to be needed too.

If the next step in your loved one’s care is moving to an assisted living facility or having staff come to the home, another excellent resource is enlisting the help of Senior Living Experts. They will be able to help narrow down options according to the best fit for your loved one so all that is left to do is make a decision. This can be especially beneficial if you are struggling to keep your head above water or feeling overwhelmed with choices. Overall, a care team and a large support system will definitely help out your aging loved one.

Help keep your loved one safe and happy with the tips above and continue to nurture your relationship every day!

Featured Image By: Unsplash