Tag Archives: funny

Aug17

Monday Update: Beat The Heat Edition

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Monday Update: Beat The Heat Edition

Heyy everyone and happy Monday! So last Thursday a very exciting occurrence happened that I can’t wait to share with you guys! The night prior around nine o’clock, I got a Facebook message from an old theatre friend, Zach, who desperately needed a girl to fill in for someone who dropped out of a film he was shooting the following day. I hadn’t heard from this kid in years and I was pretty curious about what he was shooting, so I told him to give me a call. We chatted on the phone for a few minutes about his production called Beat The Heat and after our talk, I was sold. The next day, I showed up at his place for some filming fun with a bunch of very cool new friends. Let’s discuss!

Beat The Heat is a fairly simple plot which revolves around a group of party-goers who are in for an unpleasant surprise when they wake up. According to the morning news, a tiger escaped from the zoo and everyone is recommended to stay inside until the tiger is captured. This is all fine and dandy until everyone realizes that the air conditioning is broken. With the house getting gradually hotter throughout the day tensions rise, relationships are formed, and pancakes are shared. The cast of characters includes:

  • Tucker: The douchebag
  • Stacie: The slutty nerd (my character)
  • Nick: A guy who knows nothing about fixing the air conditioning
  • Glen: Canadian
  • And much more!!

Everyone in the cast was so insanely fun to work with and a lot of the scenes included improv so it was very easy to work off of one another. Because all of us clicked so well, rash and ultimately hilarious decisions were made on things that should be included in the film – like the most ridiculous psuedo-sex scene between Stacie and Tucker. Now rest assured, if this scene were being done for the purpose of passion and lust, I would have never agreed to it. BUT, both Zach and I agreed that a silly sex scene is exactly what the movie needs to spice things up a little bit! Honestly, I’m so glad that I did it because it’s going to be so insanely funny and it was actually pretty liberating!

As soon as the film is done being edited, the final cut will be released in December and best believe it will be posted on here! So if you want to see my clothes removed with the snap of a finger, a Canadian melt into a puddle, and the worst tiger sound effects ever – make sure you keep it posted on http://www.lifewithlilred.com for more on Beat The Heat!

I’m not gonna lie, I was initially going to say no to participating in Beat The Heat. I prefer stage acting to film acting any day and I’ve been on a hiatus from acting for over a year. Needless to say, I was very worried about delivering a stellar performance. Thankfully, the acting bug came back to me as easily as riding a bike and it felt so damn good to be doing a physical manifestation of my creativity. I’m so grateful that my friend, Zach, thought of me to fill in on set because I haven’t been this excited about a project in years and I can’t wait to see the finished result!!

So there you have it, this weeks Monday Update: Beat The Heat Edition! I hope all of you are having a fabulous day so far! What was everyone up to this weekend? Anything fun? I wanna hear from all of you, so leave me a comment and let’s chat! Much love. -Sarah

Jul11

Drunk Girl Diaries

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Drunk Girl Diaries

Heyyy everyone and happy Saturday! So last night I was the epitome of white girl wasted which resulted in some classic drunk girl behavior that was too funny not to share! My friend came over last night for what I thought was going to be some casual drinks on the deck but unfortunately, Lil Red went wayyy too hard. We were sipping on some super delicious mixed drinks that didn’t taste alcoholic in the slightest so I was throwing them back like no other. By the time our festivities were over (AKA when our bottle was done), I was throwing up in the bushes in my backyard. Strike one.

I headed back into my house, which I honestly don’t even remember doing and decided to shove some carbs in my face with the hopes that I would feel better. I grabbed a piece of white bread, a bag full of BBQ chips that were miraculously left on the kitchen table, and a cold enchilada leftover from dinner that I didn’t bother heating up. Within two bites of my fresh from the refrigerator enchilada I had to hurl AGAIN. So I made my way to the bathroom and spent at least ten minutes getting acquainted with the toilet. Strike two. I returned to my food only to run into my hard wooden chair which completely fell over and I went down with it. TIMBERRRRRR. I vividly remember my sloppy self saying “Jesus Christ, Sarah” and then I ate my bread and chips like a champ. I was able to keep the food down, so I guess I figured that it would be a good idea to eat eight coconut fudge cookies in a row and go to bed. Big, BIG mistake.

I’m not sure why I thought that it was necessary to eat so many cookies but I just couldn’t help it – they tasted SO good!! So I take my trashy ass self upstairs with a belly full of cookies, bread, and booze. By the time I got myself undressed (which I’m sure went over like a bullet in the skull), I was feeling very woozy but I thought that it would be in my best interest to just get into bed. Big mistake. Within thirty seconds of laying down, the urge to purge was there in full force so I booked it to the bathroom as fast as my wobbly little legs could take me. I spent lots of quality time with the toilet – apparently vodka and coconut cookies don’t mix well together. Strikes three, four, and five.

After I was done vomiting up a storm, I ended up falling asleep on the bathroom floor. I slept like someone who hasn’t seen their bed in a week…and in this case my bed was the hard, tiled floor of the throne room. Lucky for me, I dressed myself like I was getting ready for a trek in the snow when I got into my pajamas so at least I was warm. Drunky Sarah thought that a thick sleep shirt, sweatpants, and a hoodie were an absolute must and I guess it was, considering all of the material provided me with some cushioning! I woke up in the bathroom this morning from my sister walking in to get ready for work. She said, “Sarah, what are you doing in here?” To which I mumbled back, “I don’t know, I guess I fell asleep” and stumbled off to my bed to sleep some more.

Here’s the breakdown of my wastey pants night by numbers:

  • At least 9 shots of vodka
  • 1 glass of wine
  • 8 coconut fudge cookies
  • 5 instances of puking my brains out
  • 1 floral print pair of sweatpants matched with 1 striped hoodie (A perfect combo, obvs.)
  • 2 broken nails (Don’t ask me how, I couldn’t tell ya.)
  • 7 hours of sleep
  • 1 bathroom floor

Honestly, the entire night was simply hilarious to me and even my parents had a good laugh about it – which was shocking. I’m just so thankful that I was white girl wasted in the comfort and safety of my own home. Usually I’m not one to discuss my drunken escapades in such vivid detail on here…But when you wake up on your bathroom floor, something needs to be said! Welcome to the world of a freshly turned twenty-one year old. (My mom said today, “Sarah, I think you’re like a little kid with a new toy with your drinking legality.” I couldn’t have said it better myself.)

I hope that all of you are having a great day so far! What’s everyone up to for the remainder of the weekend? Any fun plans? I wanna hear from all of you, so leave me a comment and let’s chat! Much love. -Sarah

Jul9

Single 4 Lyfe

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Single 4 Lyfe

Heyyy everyone and happy Thursday! So I had a kind of funny experience at a doctors appointment last week that really got me thinking. When the doctor asked my marital status “single for life” came out instead of just “single”. It was such a silly blunder that I got a major laugh out of it but it also got me wondering why fabulous Lil Red is forever alone. This somewhat depressing questioning of myself brought me into a little slump – but then I remembered a few things about myself which ended up reminding me that the best person for me is ME!

1) If anyone is a “One Woman Wolf Pack” then it’s definitely me. You guys might not believe it but I actually dislike a vast majority of people. Surprise! (That’s why I like hanging out with myself, which I fondly refer to as my “one person party”. Welcome to a day in the life, boi.)

2) I’ve never really had a legitimate “boyfriend” or “girlfriend” – just people who I hang around with for a bit until they fuck me over in some way shape or form…Or I get bored. I can’t think of one positive experience that I’ve had with anyone who I’ve casually dated. That’s sad. I also don’t really like being around people whose intentions I can’t read. (As well as people in general). See point one and three. Honestly, I don’t even know how to girlfriend. Like, what do you do? Do you shave the hair on your toes? Do you wear extra deodorant? To fuck if I know.

3) I love myself…Like a lot. Therefore, I don’t like putting myself into situations where I’m bound to get hurt (IE: Every relationship ever). I’m very protective of me! Good looking out, Sarah. Thanks, Sarah.

4) When I want a guy or a girl to acknowledge me I just call myself pretty and take a bubble bath. Works like a charm.

5) I’m not willing to share my Taco Bell with anyone. (I don’t share SHIT.)

titanic

This post was actually supposed to be serious originally but once I started writing I realized that I didn’t want to be one of those annoying twenty-somethings complaining about being single. Thus, a humorous look at Sarah’s Singlehood was born in “Single 4 Lyfe”. So what did this remembrance of some basic truths about Lil Red teach me? That I should probably just start dating myself. Welp…Here it goes…

  • Myself: “Sarah, will you go out with me?”
  • Myself: “Sure.”

SCORE!!!!!!!!!!

I hope that all of you are having an awesome day so far! I also hope that you got a good laugh out of this post! Shout out to all of my forever aloners out there – I’m right there with you! What was the shortest lived relationship that you ever had? What was one if your worst dating experiences? I wanna hear from all of you, so leave me a comment and let’s chat! Much love. -Sarah

May29

Super Silly Fun Night

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Super Silly Fun Night

Howdy everyone and TGIF!! Omg guys I had the most fabulous night with my sweet best friend Lea yesterday! It was a terrific evening of crafting, eating hella Cheez-Its, and being straight up silly – it was perfection. The last time we hung out we tried making a canvas art craft of a night sky over looking a city silhouette….unfortunately we couldn’t get past painting our canvas black and dousing it with glitter so we called it a night. But last evening we were dedicated to making something pretty out of our black canvas, and this was our final result:

craftyy

^^^ So adorable! Mine is the one on the left and Lea’s is obviously the one on the right! Here’s the step by step guide on how we made our cute canvas craft: #ohyoucraftyhuh

  • Step 1) Paint your canvas black. (Optional)
  • Step 2) Pour glitter all over your freshly painted canvas. (Optional)
  • Step 3) Cry. (Optional)
  • Step 4) Give up. (Optional)
  • Step 5) Try again! Lea and I decided to go balls to the wall with this craft so we just started painting over our glittery black canvas however we pleased. I was trying to go for a more sunset-y vibe…and I’m honestly not sure what vibe Lea was going for – but it turned out great!
  • Step 6) Find a silhouette picture on the computer of whatever you like and cut it out. Or if you’re an overachiever and can draw well, feel free to draw out a silhouette. Lea and I are both a big fan of the cutesy couple images, so that’s what we both opted for. But it really can be anything – a giraffe, a toilet, a bomb…it’s up to you!
  • Step 7) Glue on your silhouette and bask in the glory of your craftiness!

Throughout our evening Lea and I basically annihilated a bag of Cheez-Its – as you can see by my featured image photo, and it was the most fulfilling snacking experience I’ve ever had. So the answer is yes, there probably is Cheez-It residue all over my canvas. After we completed our craft, we spent the rest of our time together creeping on people on Facebook, laying in bed being silly, and making up quotes that historical figures and celebrities definitely didn’t say. For example, when we posted our picture of our craftiness on Facebook we captioned it with “A steady hand and a calm heart” – Elenore Roosevelt…..Okay – maybe it’s not that funny BUT it was SO funny to us!! I’m so happy that I got to have an evening off from drowning in homework to have some much needed girl time with my darling. We had such a blast and by the time I got home I felt rejuvenated enough to complete the rest of my work at the prime time of 11:30 at night! #dedication

I hope all of you guys are having an awesome day so far! What is everyone up to this weekend? What have you been crafting recently? I wanna hear from all of you, so leave me a comment and let’s chat! Much love. -Sarah

^^^^^ CHEEEEEEEEZ-ITS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!! Cheez-Its. Cheez-Its. Cheez-Its.

May18

Sorry, Sis ;)

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Sorry, Sis ;)

During my weekend trip to Wisconsin, I may or may not have played a stupidly funny prank on my beloved sister, Kristen. And for that, I am publicly apologizing. Kristen drove the first two or so hours home from Wisconsin on Sunday, and during that time I was manning her phone to reply to the texts that she received. She’s been talking to a new guy recently, and it was my responsibility to type everything out to him that she dictated to me….Bad idea on her part. When he asked what Kristen was up to, my sister told me to text him “driving home! yay!” and unfortunately I heard “driving home! gay!” When I heard “gay” I thought to myself “hmm, that’s an odd way to describe driving home” so I asked her to repeat it three times and every single time, I heard “gay” so into the text it went. To spruce the message up even more I also added “and I really have to go to the bathroom :((((” to the message and hit Send. I straight up told Kristen that I added her bathroom issue to the text (which was more like my bathroom issue, because I really had to go!), and she didn’t believe me! Smh. When we stopped for food and she looked through her phone, she saw the text I sent that she thought I was kidding about, and got a bit upset at Lil Red. Once we got back on the road again, my mom took over driving so Kristen got back into the backseat with me. She was still pissed at me, even though I told her what I texted him, so after snacking on hella Flamin Hot Cheeto’s, I decided to write her a story on my iPod to make her laugh and to pass the time. I emailed myself the story, and I am now going to share it with you guys:

A short story of a very naughty thing:

Once upon a time there were two sisters, named Kristen and Sarah, respectively. During their journey home from a weekend adventure in America’s cheese land, the younger of the girls, Sarah did a very naughty thing. While the elder, Kristen drove the whip through the Chicago traffic, she received a text message from a potential love interest. For the fear of our personal safety, I manned her phone so I could text the messages to the young man as dictated by Kristen. When mister man asked what Kristen was up to, the reply I texted was not necessarily the same as what was said to me. Instead of texting “driving home, yay!” I accidentally typed “driving home. Gay. And I have to go to the bathroom :(((” in my defense, when she said “yay” it sounded a lot like “gay” and I for one, really had to go potty. I told Kristen what I had texted and she thought I was kidding. But guess what…I wasn’t. When Kristen saw what I texted she was most upset, and I feared for my life. After her round of driving, Kristen returned to the back seat of the car with me, and I tried my best to win her friendship back and humbly apologize for my wrong doings. We bonded over flaming hot Cheeto residue and she delivered one swift punch to my arm. And now I think we are friends again. The end.

^^^ Needless to say, Kristen was dying of laughter as she read my short story and we are now most definitely friends again! Sorry for being an asshole, sis! (Even though it was still kinda funny) I love you! 😉

IMG_3365[1]IMG_3381[1]IMG_3427[1]

^^^ SHE’S SO CUTE!!!!

Hahahahaha. Kristen and I both found the situation insanely funny after she punched me, so I thought it would be fun to share this goofy story with all of you! What was the silliest thing you did to pass the time during a long trip? Do you have a story of a text message gone wrong that trumps mine? I wanna hear from all of you, so leave me a comment and let’s chat! Much love. -Sarah

PS: Who’s excited and slightly depressed about the series finale of The Following tonight?! I know I am!