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American Horror Story: Hotel “Chutes and Ladders”

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American Horror Story: Hotel “Chutes and Ladders”

Hey there everyone and welcome to the synopsis of the second episode of American Horror Story: Hotel “Chutes and Ladders”. Sorry this post didn’t come to you earlier but with the episode being an hour and forty minutes long, I was so ready for bed by the time it was done! We were introduced to quite a few new characters and learned some new intel on some of the residents of the Cortez whom we met during the season premiere, so let’s discuss:

Claudia Bankson (Naomi Campbell): Thanks to a fashion show party that Will Drake put on at the Cortez, we got to meet Claudia Bankson – a big wig magazine editor who has an eye on John Lowe…don’t we all? That’s about all we know so far on Miss Bankson so we’ll have to stay tuned for more on this fashionista.

Tristan (Finn Wittrock): The Will Drake fashion show introduced us to my dearly beloved Finn Wittrock, who plays Tristan, the edgy male model with a passion for coke and the seductive Countess. During the fashion show, a doped up Tristan acts out on the runway which results in a tussle with an audience member. As he struts his stuff, he locks eyes on The Countess and he impregnates her with his gaze…Just kidding, but they definitely had eye sex. ANYWAYS, a furious Will Drake enters the backstage area to scold Tristan, but he just ends up taking a knife and cutting his own cheek and says that he’s done modeling. Afterwards, he goes on a little jaunt through the Cortez and breaks into The Countess’s room in search of coke and some hanky panky.

Tristan gets caught shortly after he enters the room by The Countess’s lover, Donovan. Tristan gets a good old fashion ass whooping and is about to be strangled when The Countess walks in and prevents Donovan from doing so. Terrified, Tristan runs out of the room and into the elevator where he gets stuck on the seventh floor. He pulls apart the elevator doors and runs down the hall and straight into a room with the creator of the Cortez, James Patrick March (Evan Peters).

James Patrick March (Evan Peters): We meet Mr. March thanks to Tristan stumbling upon him after his encounter with Donovan. Our first scene with March is a friendly one, in which he encourages Tristan to shoot a prostitute dead. The hooker is provided by the maid, Miss Evers (Mare Winningham). When Tristan refuses, March shoots the girl himself, and Tristan evacuates the room. The following information that we learned about James March is from a chat at the bar that John Lowe has with Iris:

According to Iris, James Patrick March “put every atom of evil in his being into building this hotel” in 1925. The Cortez is “a perfectly designed torture chamber” thanks to the secret hallways, chutes leading to a basement to hold dead bodies, and a willing maid to clean up all of the messes (with her “secret ingredient – love”). We see a montage of the Cortez being built and lots of murders committed by James March, some of them in the company of his wife whose face is not shown but I’m assuming is The Countess. ANYWHO, we continue to see the suave serial killer do his thang and sometimes do his victims until we learn of his demise. A sloppy mistake of leaving a napkin from the hotel with the initials JPM at a crime scene points directly to March as the murderer. Miss Evers enters March’s room to tell him the police are at the hotel and then March kills Miss Evers with a gun at her request and then slits his own throat. Some people think that March’s wife turned on him, despite his incriminating sloppiness, to inherit his vast fortune. CRAZY STUFF!

Miss Evers (Mare Winningham): Our story of the Cortez taught us a lot about the dedicated maid, Miss Evers, but it also confirmed the suspicion that her, as well as James March, are dead.

ahsh

So what else did we learn this episode?

Scarlett finds out that Holden is still alive: During the fashion show, Will Drakes son, Glocklin, takes Scarlett on an adventure through the Cortez. He takes her to a secret room that contains the coffins of the sleeping vampire children, one of which contains the cute as can be Holden. Scarlett returns to the hotel after sneaking away from the cop assigned to keep an eye on her and finds the playroom of the vampire kids.

Holden is the only little one in the room and he adorably says “Scah-lett” when his sister asks if he knows who she is. She shows Holden family pictures and her little brother recognizes that Scarlett looks different to which she replies, “I grew up, why didn’t you?” Scarlett says “let’s go home” and her brother refuses, “I am home. I like it here. You can come and visit whenever you want”. Big sis Scarlett attempts to take a picture with her little brother and he tries to bite her. Scar gets scared and runs out of the room and straight into the arms of Sally with a mouth full of blood and her teeth falling out. When Scarlett makes her way back home, her house is swarming with police because she has been gone for five hours. She tells her parents she saw Holden, which deeply upsets them, she then shows her dad the picture she took that has her smiling face and Holden who shows up as a blonde blur.

Tristan gets turned: Once Tristan exits the room with James March, he ends up in an elevator with The Countess. She turns Tristan and then they have a wild night of banging and heart to hearts. We find out that The Countess was born in 1904 and that she was a big fan of the late 70’s, “I was the disco queen. I still am” she says. Her romp with Tristan is interrupted when Donovan enters the room. She asks Tristan to give them some privacy and then she kicks Donovan out and urges him to pack up his stuff. SHE’S SO COLD!!! The end of “Chutes and Ladders” is compliments of The Countess and Tristan as she flicks her bean to her new beau drinking the blood of his first kill. With a blood soaked face he kisses the vampiress and says, “I need more”.

John Lowe fun facts: We find out that Lowe is a recovering alcoholic AND he’s staying in the room that served as James March’s office…Room 64. DUN DUN DUNNNNN. Lowe also begins to investigate the serial killings of James March and discovers that a lot of them were in fashion of the Ten Commandments. He hated “religion and regulations” Iris stated. He then looks further into the murders happening currently that are similar in fashion and realizes that the person he’s hunting after could be a copycat killer.

“Skinny jeans are out, ponchos are in, fringe is forever.” -Cleopatra

So there you have it, this week’s episode review of American Horror Story: Hotel “Chutes and Ladders”. What did everyone think of the newest episode? How do you feel about the new characters that were introduced? I wanna hear from all of you, so leave me a comment and let’s chat! Much love. -Sarah

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I’ll Tell You What I Thought, What I Really Really Thought (AHS Episode 1)

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I’ll Tell You What I Thought, What I Really Really Thought (AHS Episode 1)

Hi hi hi everyone and happy Friday! So as you guys know by now, I’m an avid American Horror Story fan but unfortunately, I was very underwhelmed with the season premiere of Hotel which occurred this past Wednesday. There were a few things that really rubbed me the wrong way so let’s discuss:

It was SO jumpy: The season premiere, “Checking In” jumped around so much to the point that it was dare I say, unenjoyable. We were moving from different years, characters, and locations quicker than you could even get used to the people being introduced. I think what I loved so much about season one, Murder House, was how well it flowed. Each episode and story line developed so nicely into one another and I wish that AHS would fall into a more simple but effective story line. I’m not saying tone it down by any means – I’m saying that they shouldn’t bite off more than they can chew for each episode. Am I still thrilled for the future episodes of this season? Hell yes, but the premiere just missed the mark for me. It was hard to establish the tone of each character and at least some semblance of a cohesive plot…Whomp whomp.

The blood orgy: Yeah, yeah maybe I’m a prude BUT the graphicness of the sex filled blood bath between The Countess, Donovan, and their victims just seemed so unnecessary. And here’s the thing, AHS has gone graphic before but it wasn’t something that they just threw a character into willy nilly. I get that they wanted an edgy “here I am” scene to debut Lady Gaga’s arrival as the Hotel leading lady but it could have been done differently. I feel like the “here’s my butt and boobs, let’s have a romp” scene cheapened Gaga’s character and she didn’t even have any lines. Just my opinion!

Scarlett Lowe entering a crime scene house: Seriously, AHS? SERIOUSLY?!!! A child following after his or her daddy detective into a crime scene is SO overdone that I was kind of shocked that they went for it. I actually feel like a lot of the images and narratives of the episode were things that I’ve seen before. Like the Ten Commandments Killer who John Lowe was probably speaking to on the phone after he read to his daughter…Hello! That’s fresh out of Zodiac. And yes, I have to bring up The Shining even though I’m sure everyone has already. As the saying goes, “steal from the best and make it your own” and AHS really did nothing to make The Shining-esque scenes that they copy-catted unique. When I think of American Horror Story, I think of a show that creatively pushes the envelope and there didn’t really seem to be any “wow that was crazy” moments in the premiere…Just a lot of moments that were worthy of an eye roll.

Was the episode “Checking In” completely awful? No, it was still quite good. Was it totally awesome? No, not even close. So all in all, I would give the season premiere¬†two and a half stars. I think that everyone got a little too over zealous with episode one. I’m really hoping that in the future episodes the plot will be more cohesive and the extreme Shining vibe will disappear.

I Told You What I Thought, What I Really Really Thought and now it’s your turn! How did everyone feel about the season premiere of American Horror Story: Hotel? Did anyone have opinions similar to the ones I mentioned? I wanna hear from all of you, so leave me a comment and let’s chat! Much love. -Sarah

American Horror Story: Hotel “Checking In”

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American Horror Story: Hotel “Checking In”

Alright guys, as promised here’s my review and synopsis of the season premiere of American Horror Story: Hotel with the episode, “Checking In”. I think the best way to go about discussing the premiere is simply by introducing the characters who we had the pleasure of meeting tonight and outlining their role so far in the hotel. There were a lot of things that I liked and of course things that I didn’t care for, so let’s get to it:

Agie & Vandela: “Checking In” starts with the arrival of two twenty-something German girls who are in California to vacation at Universal Studios. However, as soon as they walk into the Cortez they instantly get the creeps and are put off by the fact that it’s farther away than expected to all of their vacation destinations. They ask Iris (Kathy Bates) if they could have a refund on their deposit to which she responds with a firm “no”. The girls are forced to stay in the hotel for the night but unfortunately they won’t even make it until then. In their hotel room Vandela and Agie discover a rotten smell which one of them describes as being like a “dead animal”. The girls realize that the smell is coming from the mattress and once they pull back the blankets they find crude stitching going all the way down the middle. They rip it open with scissors and out pops a badly blistered man with white eyes and horse teeth who is contorting and writhing in a most disturbing manner. A complaint to Iris gets the girls a new room and some questionable cleansing methods…

Iris (Kathy Bates): Fan favorite, Kathy Bates, returns this season as Iris, the hotel manager. With a short and brisk attitude we learn that Iris is a pro at covering up all of the dirty secrets of the Cortez. She also has an eye on the handsome John Lowe (Wes Bentley) which comes from the beautiful line she mutters upon meeting him, “woof”. Iris is the mother to the lover of The Countess (Lady Gaga). Her son’s name is Donovan (Matt Bomer) and thanks to a flashback we find out that he was a heroin addict who enjoyed shooting up with Sally (Sarah Paulson). After some stealthy detective work from Iris, she tracks down her doped up son and supplier in a room of the Cortez. Her son appears to be dead or near death and Sally begins to exit the premises only to be followed by Iris and pushed out of a window, falling to her demise. Iris then returns to the room where her son lies to find The Countess lounging beside him on the bed, preparing to turn him and his staggering good looks.

We learn in the premiere that not only is Iris a murderer but she’s also in charge of keeping the blood of the victims who fall to The Countess nice and clean. After Agie and Vandela get a new room from Iris (Room 64) things go all bad. One of the girls is found by the other lying on the bathroom floor with a sweet blonde child cowering over her with a blood soaked mouth. They end up in a chamber trapped in individual metal cages where Iris condemns them for the prescription pills she found in their luggage. She then tries to force the girls to drink a smoothie concocted from oysters, chicken liver, kidneys, and white wine to clean their blood for the consumption of The Countess. What a lady!

Sally (Sarah Paulson): One of my AHS all star favorites has to be Miss Paulson so I was very pleased to hear that she was coming back as a primary player in the Cortez, Sally. Because we know that Iris pushed her out of a window but she’s still somehow alive, I’m assuming that she’s a vampire as well. Sally is a heroin addict who has a soft spot for the captured girls, Vandela and Agie. She releases Vandela and unfortunately she falls right into the clutches of The Countess. In an extremely off putting scene where a doped up young man gets anally raped by a man yielding a spiraled pointed dildo who had latex-like skin, Sally appears. “The more you scream the more he likes it” she warns the stranger. I get the feeling that she has never had anyone in her life that truly loved her considering she begged the victim to “say ‘I love you Sally’ and it will all go away”.

The Countess (Lady Gaga) & Donovan (Matt Bomer): In “Checking In” we are introduced to Donovan and The Countess after a close up on a sign that says “Why aren’t we having sex right now?” The couple is preparing for a night on the town by applying makeup, snorting cocaine, and dressing to the nines. They go to a movie playing at a park where they attract the attention of a young couple. The first major scene to show off Lady Gaga’s acting chops ends up being a full on orgy turned blood bath after her and Donovan slit their throats with their rings with sharp talons attached. The scene closes with the couple lying in the blood of their victims and Donovan says “it’s not the getting ready, it’s the cleaning up” to which The Countess replies, “call housekeeping”. SASSY! I, for one, did not care for that scene at all but that’s just me. We learn that The Countess also has a brood of beautiful blonde haired children whom she’s kidnapped and turned. One of her “children” will definitely be playing an important role in the show, which leads me to discussing his father, John Lowe.

John Lowe (Wes Bentley): John Lowe is a father, husband (to wife, Alex, played by Chloe Sevigny), and detective. He has a daughter named Scarlett and had a young son named Holden. We follow John onto some of the gruesome crime scenes he’s investigating, which I’m assuming are linked to the Ten Commandments Killer. He is a dedicated father though, as we can see when he reads Little Women with his daughter via FaceTime. As he reads to Scarlett he gets a phone call and tells his assistant to take a message. Once he calls the number back we hear a man’s voice on the phone saying that he will be at the Cortez hotel and will kill again. He makes his way over to the hotel and is directed to Room 64 in which he ends up falling asleep and has a vision of his son, Holden, who was kidnapped in 2010. We see a flashback to this moment when the family was at a carnival and John took his son to ride the carousel. He gets Holden safely onto a horse and takes a phone call but when he returns, his boy is no longer there.

A lot of curious incidents happened to John in tonight’s episode like when his sushi dinner with Scarlett was interrupted by a text from his wife’s phone giving an address and saying she needs help. He rushes to the house with Scarlett in the car and leaves her there, telling a cop to keep an eye on her. He ends up in the pitch black home with his daughter following him shortly after. John approaches a man dressed all in black with what appears to be a top hat on his head but then he hears Scarlett scream. He finds her in a room with men hanging from their bed posts with their intestines hanging out of their stomachs. Yum! Due to Alex’s fear that whomever has been contacting her husband will harm their daughter, they both agree that he should go away for a while and the episode ends with John checking into the Cortez in Room 64.

Liz Taylor (Denis O’Hare): Known for his weird as hell characters on AHS, Denis O’Hare returns as cross dresser, Liz Taylor. He pops up everywhere in the hotel – the hallways, behind the front desk, ect. I’m confident that he knows a lot of the hotel’s dark secrets so I’ll be looking forward to the further development of this character!

Will Drake (Cheyenne Jackson): Will Drake is a fashion designer from New York who arrives at the Cortez with his young son and the intention to buy the hotel. His son is befriended by The Countess who asks him if she can show him something he might enjoy. She leads him to a hallway with a trap door that opens into a futuristic room filled with wall length Tetris boards and candy dispensers all being used by her brood of bloodsucking children.

So there you have it, the lowdown on the characters introduced to us on the season premiere of American Horror Story: Hotel. The episode “Checking In” brought us a unique cast of dwellers in the Cortez and an interesting story line so I can’t wait to see what next week’s episode will be like! How did everyone feel about the season premiere? Who loved Lady Gaga’s AHS debut? I wanna hear from all of you, so leave me a comment and let’s chat! Much love. -Sarah