Hi hi hi everyone and happy Friday! So as you guys know by now, I’m an avid American Horror Story fan but unfortunately, I was very underwhelmed with the season premiere of Hotel which occurred this past Wednesday. There were a few things that really rubbed me the wrong way so let’s discuss:
It was SO jumpy: The season premiere, “Checking In” jumped around so much to the point that it was dare I say, unenjoyable. We were moving from different years, characters, and locations quicker than you could even get used to the people being introduced. I think what I loved so much about season one, Murder House, was how well it flowed. Each episode and story line developed so nicely into one another and I wish that AHS would fall into a more simple but effective story line. I’m not saying tone it down by any means – I’m saying that they shouldn’t bite off more than they can chew for each episode. Am I still thrilled for the future episodes of this season? Hell yes, but the premiere just missed the mark for me. It was hard to establish the tone of each character and at least some semblance of a cohesive plot…Whomp whomp.
The blood orgy: Yeah, yeah maybe I’m a prude BUT the graphicness of the sex filled blood bath between The Countess, Donovan, and their victims just seemed so unnecessary. And here’s the thing, AHS has gone graphic before but it wasn’t something that they just threw a character into willy nilly. I get that they wanted an edgy “here I am” scene to debut Lady Gaga’s arrival as the Hotel leading lady but it could have been done differently. I feel like the “here’s my butt and boobs, let’s have a romp” scene cheapened Gaga’s character and she didn’t even have any lines. Just my opinion!
Scarlett Lowe entering a crime scene house: Seriously, AHS? SERIOUSLY?!!! A child following after his or her daddy detective into a crime scene is SO overdone that I was kind of shocked that they went for it. I actually feel like a lot of the images and narratives of the episode were things that I’ve seen before. Like the Ten Commandments Killer who John Lowe was probably speaking to on the phone after he read to his daughter…Hello! That’s fresh out of Zodiac. And yes, I have to bring up The Shining even though I’m sure everyone has already. As the saying goes, “steal from the best and make it your own” and AHS really did nothing to make The Shining-esque scenes that they copy-catted unique. When I think of American Horror Story, I think of a show that creatively pushes the envelope and there didn’t really seem to be any “wow that was crazy” moments in the premiere…Just a lot of moments that were worthy of an eye roll.
Was the episode “Checking In” completely awful? No, it was still quite good. Was it totally awesome? No, not even close. So all in all, I would give the season premiere two and a half stars. I think that everyone got a little too over zealous with episode one. I’m really hoping that in the future episodes the plot will be more cohesive and the extreme Shining vibe will disappear.
I Told You What I Thought, What I Really Really Thought and now it’s your turn! How did everyone feel about the season premiere of American Horror Story: Hotel? Did anyone have opinions similar to the ones I mentioned? I wanna hear from all of you, so leave me a comment and let’s chat! Much love. -Sarah
Alright guys, as promised here’s my review and synopsis of the season premiere of American Horror Story: Hotel with the episode, “Checking In”. I think the best way to go about discussing the premiere is simply by introducing the characters who we had the pleasure of meeting tonight and outlining their role so far in the hotel. There were a lot of things that I liked and of course things that I didn’t care for, so let’s get to it:
Agie & Vandela: “Checking In” starts with the arrival of two twenty-something German girls who are in California to vacation at Universal Studios. However, as soon as they walk into the Cortez they instantly get the creeps and are put off by the fact that it’s farther away than expected to all of their vacation destinations. They ask Iris (Kathy Bates) if they could have a refund on their deposit to which she responds with a firm “no”. The girls are forced to stay in the hotel for the night but unfortunately they won’t even make it until then. In their hotel room Vandela and Agie discover a rotten smell which one of them describes as being like a “dead animal”. The girls realize that the smell is coming from the mattress and once they pull back the blankets they find crude stitching going all the way down the middle. They rip it open with scissors and out pops a badly blistered man with white eyes and horse teeth who is contorting and writhing in a most disturbing manner. A complaint to Iris gets the girls a new room and some questionable cleansing methods…
Iris (Kathy Bates): Fan favorite, Kathy Bates, returns this season as Iris, the hotel manager. With a short and brisk attitude we learn that Iris is a pro at covering up all of the dirty secrets of the Cortez. She also has an eye on the handsome John Lowe (Wes Bentley) which comes from the beautiful line she mutters upon meeting him, “woof”. Iris is the mother to the lover of The Countess (Lady Gaga). Her son’s name is Donovan (Matt Bomer) and thanks to a flashback we find out that he was a heroin addict who enjoyed shooting up with Sally (Sarah Paulson). After some stealthy detective work from Iris, she tracks down her doped up son and supplier in a room of the Cortez. Her son appears to be dead or near death and Sally begins to exit the premises only to be followed by Iris and pushed out of a window, falling to her demise. Iris then returns to the room where her son lies to find The Countess lounging beside him on the bed, preparing to turn him and his staggering good looks.
We learn in the premiere that not only is Iris a murderer but she’s also in charge of keeping the blood of the victims who fall to The Countess nice and clean. After Agie and Vandela get a new room from Iris (Room 64) things go all bad. One of the girls is found by the other lying on the bathroom floor with a sweet blonde child cowering over her with a blood soaked mouth. They end up in a chamber trapped in individual metal cages where Iris condemns them for the prescription pills she found in their luggage. She then tries to force the girls to drink a smoothie concocted from oysters, chicken liver, kidneys, and white wine to clean their blood for the consumption of The Countess. What a lady!
Sally (Sarah Paulson): One of my AHS all star favorites has to be Miss Paulson so I was very pleased to hear that she was coming back as a primary player in the Cortez, Sally. Because we know that Iris pushed her out of a window but she’s still somehow alive, I’m assuming that she’s a vampire as well. Sally is a heroin addict who has a soft spot for the captured girls, Vandela and Agie. She releases Vandela and unfortunately she falls right into the clutches of The Countess. In an extremely off putting scene where a doped up young man gets anally raped by a man yielding a spiraled pointed dildo who had latex-like skin, Sally appears. “The more you scream the more he likes it” she warns the stranger. I get the feeling that she has never had anyone in her life that truly loved her considering she begged the victim to “say ‘I love you Sally’ and it will all go away”.
The Countess (Lady Gaga) & Donovan (Matt Bomer): In “Checking In” we are introduced to Donovan and The Countess after a close up on a sign that says “Why aren’t we having sex right now?” The couple is preparing for a night on the town by applying makeup, snorting cocaine, and dressing to the nines. They go to a movie playing at a park where they attract the attention of a young couple. The first major scene to show off Lady Gaga’s acting chops ends up being a full on orgy turned blood bath after her and Donovan slit their throats with their rings with sharp talons attached. The scene closes with the couple lying in the blood of their victims and Donovan says “it’s not the getting ready, it’s the cleaning up” to which The Countess replies, “call housekeeping”. SASSY! I, for one, did not care for that scene at all but that’s just me. We learn that The Countess also has a brood of beautiful blonde haired children whom she’s kidnapped and turned. One of her “children” will definitely be playing an important role in the show, which leads me to discussing his father, John Lowe.
John Lowe (Wes Bentley): John Lowe is a father, husband (to wife, Alex, played by Chloe Sevigny), and detective. He has a daughter named Scarlett and had a young son named Holden. We follow John onto some of the gruesome crime scenes he’s investigating, which I’m assuming are linked to the Ten Commandments Killer. He is a dedicated father though, as we can see when he reads Little Women with his daughter via FaceTime. As he reads to Scarlett he gets a phone call and tells his assistant to take a message. Once he calls the number back we hear a man’s voice on the phone saying that he will be at the Cortez hotel and will kill again. He makes his way over to the hotel and is directed to Room 64 in which he ends up falling asleep and has a vision of his son, Holden, who was kidnapped in 2010. We see a flashback to this moment when the family was at a carnival and John took his son to ride the carousel. He gets Holden safely onto a horse and takes a phone call but when he returns, his boy is no longer there.
A lot of curious incidents happened to John in tonight’s episode like when his sushi dinner with Scarlett was interrupted by a text from his wife’s phone giving an address and saying she needs help. He rushes to the house with Scarlett in the car and leaves her there, telling a cop to keep an eye on her. He ends up in the pitch black home with his daughter following him shortly after. John approaches a man dressed all in black with what appears to be a top hat on his head but then he hears Scarlett scream. He finds her in a room with men hanging from their bed posts with their intestines hanging out of their stomachs. Yum! Due to Alex’s fear that whomever has been contacting her husband will harm their daughter, they both agree that he should go away for a while and the episode ends with John checking into the Cortez in Room 64.
Liz Taylor (Denis O’Hare): Known for his weird as hell characters on AHS, Denis O’Hare returns as cross dresser, Liz Taylor. He pops up everywhere in the hotel – the hallways, behind the front desk, ect. I’m confident that he knows a lot of the hotel’s dark secrets so I’ll be looking forward to the further development of this character!
Will Drake (Cheyenne Jackson): Will Drake is a fashion designer from New York who arrives at the Cortez with his young son and the intention to buy the hotel. His son is befriended by The Countess who asks him if she can show him something he might enjoy. She leads him to a hallway with a trap door that opens into a futuristic room filled with wall length Tetris boards and candy dispensers all being used by her brood of bloodsucking children.
So there you have it, the lowdown on the characters introduced to us on the season premiere of American Horror Story: Hotel. The episode “Checking In” brought us a unique cast of dwellers in the Cortez and an interesting story line so I can’t wait to see what next week’s episode will be like! How did everyone feel about the season premiere? Who loved Lady Gaga’s AHS debut? I wanna hear from all of you, so leave me a comment and let’s chat! Much love. -Sarah
Hey there everyone and sorry for my absence yesterday – it was a busy day! But I’m back and it’s time for another edition of Woman Crush Wednesday – Jessica Lange style! With American Horror Story: Hotel premiering tonight with a new leading lady, Lady Gaga, it only seems right to pay homage to the original AHS queen bee, Jessica Lange. Take a look at a fan favorite video of J-Lange performing as Elsa Mars in AHS: Freak Show and then let’s discuss:
Dear Jessica Lange:
Oh Jessica, you incredibly amazingly talented woman, you. Your performances on seasons one through four of American Horror Story go unmatched by anyone on the show. Episode after episode you stunned us faithful viewers with singing, tear jerking moments, and a butt load of sassafras to the nth degree. My personal favorite character you played has to be from season one, though. In Murder House you played Constance Langdon, which skyrocketed your AHS career with a bang, winning you Emmy’s and the respect of all of your fans and colleagues. I’ll never forget being blown away by your outright bitchiness that made me love to hate you throughout the season. Although Lady Gaga is taking your place this season on Hotel, there is no replacing you. I, as well as a vast majority of AHS fanatics, so wish that you were returning to take your rightful place as the star of the show. As I said, your talent is unreal, but your beauty is off the charts as well! You have aged with such poise and grace and I would be more than happy to date you because everyone loves a cougar! Hubba hubba! I LOVE YOU and please PLEASE come back to American Horror Story soon!
^^^ Wtf even? She’s drop dead gorgeous.
So there you have it, this week’s Woman Crush Wednesday: Jessica Lange Edition! Make sure you tune in with lifewithlilred for a synopsis of the premiere episode of American Horror Story: Hotel! Who’s excited for the season premiere? How do you feel about my woman crush not being in Hotel? I wanna hear from all of you, so leave me a comment and let’s chat! Much love. -Sarah
Helloooo everyone and welcome to the newest edition of Man Crush Monday – Adam Scott style! Mr. Scott has made me swoon as douchebag brother, Derek, in Step Brothers and sweetheart soulmate to Leslie Knope on Parks and Recreation, Ben Wyatt. Take a look at the classic “Sweet Child O’ Mine” scene from Step Brothers and then let’s discuss:
Dear Adam Scott,
Oh Adam, you darling sensitive man, you! I was introduced to your cuteness and Vanilla Ice lip syncing self in Step Brothers and I have been so fond of you ever since. It was such a treat to see you in Hot Tub Time Machine 2, which my boyfriend and I watched recently – we replayed the scene of you majorly tripping so many times! And please, PLEASE don’t even get me started on my deep love for you on Parks & Rec. My mom and I freaking adore your character, Ben Wyatt. His adorable picture perfect relationship with Leslie Knope is the most precious thing on the planet. You play his sweet and incredibly nerdy character so well and you and Amy Poehler were absolute gold together. Not only are you an amazingly talented actor but you’re also amazingly handsome! Hubba hubba, sir. Your staggering good looks are unmatched and I can totally see why Leslie Knope has a strong yearning for your butt on Parks & Rec!! Keep being the funny, charming, gorgeous guy that you are and I think that your Hollywood career will be just fine! I LOVE YOU!!!
^^^ Oh-em-gee that hair!!!! ❤
So there you have it, this week’s Man Crush Monday: Adam Scott Edition! Who is everyone’s #MCM this week? What is your favorite cute moment between Ben and Leslie on Parks & Rec? I wanna hear from all of you, so leave me a comment and let’s chat! Much love. -Sarah
Heyyy everyone and welcome to the newest edition of Woman Crush Wednesday – Julianne Hough style! The darling and newly engaged Miss Hough has been the apple of my eye ever since her Dancing With The Stars debut so it only seems right to feature her as Lil Red’s #WCW. Take a look at my all time favorite dance that she ever performed on DWTS and then let’s discuss:
Dear Julianne Hough,
Oh Julianne, you precious tiny dancer, you. I admire your immense talent on the dance floor so very much. You make the most difficult dances look effortless and I had a blast watching you win the Dancing With The Stars mirror ball trophy with Apolo Anton Ohno and Helio Castroneves. It’s a family tradition over at casa da la Lil Red to watch DWTS together and we always rooted for you! I am so happy that you’re back on the show to share your expertise on the judges panel and to occasionally grace the dance floor with your presence. It has been such a joy to watch your transformation from a sweet young woman to a sassy and fabulous goddess! I love your elegant yet fierce style and your ever changing hair! You are just SO beautiful – hubba hubba, lady! Thank you for allowing your bubbly personality into our homes every Monday night during Dancing With The Stars. And most importantly, thank you for being such an amazing role model and inspiration to performers (and people in general) everywhere. I LOVE YOU!!!!
^^^ OMG, could that pic of Julianne cuddling a puppy be any more adorable?! I think not!
So there you have it, this week’s Woman Crush Wednesday: Julianne Hough Edition! Who is everyone’s #WCW this week? What is your all time favorite Julianne Hough moment on DWTS? I wanna hear from all of you, so leave me a comment and let’s chat! Much love. -Sarah
Hellooo everyone and welcome to the newest edition of Woman Crush Wednesday – Sarah Paulson style! With season five of American Horror Story making its debut on October 7th, it only seemed appropriate to send some love to one of my favorite actresses on the show. Take a look at this fan favorite scene from American Horror Story: Asylum and then let’s discuss:
Dear Sarah Paulson,
Oh Sarah, you brilliant brilliant actress with a wonderful name, I just adore you. From your humble AHS beginnings during Murder House with a minor role to working your way up to leading lady status in the past three seasons, you can do no wrong. It’s so hard for me to pick a favorite character that you’ve played during your time as a member of the American Horror Story family, but if I absolutely had to choose, I think it would be when you played conjoined twins, Bette and Dot Tatler, in Freak Show. Your characterization of sweet and naive Bette and the cold and calculated Dot were spot on perfection and I looked forward to seeing your performance every week when Freak Show was airing. Your incredible talent is undeniable and I can’t wait to see what you’re going to bring to the table during AHS: Hotel. So yes, your acting chops are unreal but you also have some out of this world looks as well! Hubba hubba, lady. You have the face of an angel and the most glorious porcelain skin to match. Your hair also looks awesome in literally any color which is a gift from the gods. I LOVE your hair blonde, like when you played Cordelia in Coven but like I said, any color will do. You are such an inspiration to actors (and people in general) everywhere and I can only hope as an actress myself that I have an ounce of the ability that you have. I LOVE YOU!!!!!
^^^ The lovely Sarah got a lot of hate for the dress pictured above but I actually really liked it…SUE ME FOR IT!!!
So there you have it, this week’s Woman Crush Wednesday: Sarah Paulson Edition. Who is everyone’s #WCW this week? Who was your favorite character that my woman crush played on American Horror Story? I wanna hear from all of you, so leave me a comment and let’s chat! Much love. -Sarah
Helloooo everyone and happy Tuesday! So as all of you know, I’m an avid American Horror Story fan. I’ve loved it since the beginning at the Murder House to the previous season at the Freak Show. So how do I feel about the upcoming premiere of the new season subtitled “Hotel”? Shockingly, very ambivalent. Check out one of the trailers and allow me to explain:
Okay, yes, Lady Gaga is the new face of AHS and quite frankly, I couldn’t care less. Don’t get me wrong, I love me some Gaga – but I just don’t know how I feel about her taking over one of my most beloved shows. In my humble opinion, Jessica Lange IS American Horror Story. Point blank. Period. It will be exciting to have someone dare I say, younger than the previous leading lady but Gaga is the wrong lady for me. She’s almost too famous for my liking when it comes to the show, if that makes sense? I like how some of the actors on AHS are pretty low key and now that anonymity (for lack of better words) is jeopardized by the arrival of a super star.
I’ve been saying to literally everyone in my social circle who’s an AHS fan that I would have much preferred an unknown actress to take over rather than a mega celebrity ever since it was announced that Gaga would be the main character on the show. And now with the season premiere of Hotel just weeks away, I still stand by that statement. And here’s the thing, I know for a fact that once I see the premiere of season five that I’ll be hooked and more than likely gaga over Gaga…But for now? I’m feeling pretty meh – I just can’t put my finger on it.
Despite my mixed feelings for Miss Meat Dress herself replacing Queen Lange, I must say, the story line for Hotel sounds great. I’ve been really pleased with all of the teaser articles and trailers that I’ve seen as well as the impeccable casting choices with some treasured AHS alumni like Sarah Paulson, Lily Rabe, and Evan Peters. I’m also very happy that my Freak Show faves, Finn Wittrock and Wes Bentley, will be returning for a stay at the Hotel. However, I am SO pissed that Emma Roberts is returning in this season. I seriously can’t stand her and I don’t think that she’s AHS material in the slightest…and that’s really all I have to say about her -__-
Although my feelings for the new queen bee of American Horror Story: Hotel is lukewarm, I’m still really looking forward to seeing what season five has to offer! How does everyone feel about Lady Gaga joining the cast? Who’s excited for the October 7th premiere? I wanna hear from all of you, so leave me a comment and let’s chat! Much love. -Sarah
PS: I’m so aware that my blah opinions on Lady Gaga joining the cast is not the popular one, so don’t judge me too hard! 😉
Hellooo everyone and welcome to the newest edition of Man Crush Monday – Kevin Bacon style! Those of you who are familiar with my blog will know that The Following is one of my all time favorite shows, so it only seems right that I give my boy Kevin Bacon some love! Let’s discuss:
Dear Kevin Bacon,
Alright K-Bakes, I’m not gonna lie – I’m not too familiar with a lot of your work. SUE ME FOR IT, because I was a faithful follower to The Following from the beginning. That show was and still is one of my healthy obsessions and saying that I’m devastated that it’s over is a big fat understatement. Your performance as Ryan Hardy in The Following gave me a new found appreciation for the good guy and the show in general also made me develop a crush on serial killer, Joe Carroll…But that’s neither here nor there. You’ve been in the Hollywood game a while now, Kevs, and I must say, you’ve aged amazingly well – one might almost call it godlike. I am so shamelessly, hopelessly, and helplessly infatuated with you that maybe I should dig into the library archives and borrow Footloose. Until that day comes, allow me to say that you are SO handsome. I mean, really handsome. Hubba hubba to you, sir. Your chiseled features and sultry voice sure know how to make a bitch swoon. And those eyes?! Jesus. I LOVE YOU!!!!
^^^ What a guy, what a guy, what a heck of a guy!!
So there you have it, this week’s Man Crush Monday: Kevin Bacon Edition! Who is your #MCM this week? What is your favorite creative endeavor by my man crush? I wanna hear from all of you, so leave me a comment and let’s chat! Much love. -Sarah
Helloooo everyone and welcome to a new edition of Man Crush Monday – Jason Bateman style! With the perfect dose of dry wit and charm, Mr. Bateman has stolen my heart, which has earned him a coveted spot as this week’s #MCM. Enjoy this clip of my all time favorite scene from Arrested Development and then let’s discuss:
Dear Jason Bateman,
Oh Jason…Jason, Jason, Jason. Usually I like to start these little love letters with an ode to your talent BUT your good looks need to be mentioned ASAP, so let’s get to it. You are SO handsome it’s unreal. You’re handsome in the normal guy with something special way and I just adore it. Hubba hubba, sir. Alright, now that I’ve got that off my chest, we can go on to talk about some of my personal favorite career choices you’ve made. Arrested Development? Hello! I’ll admit, I only recently got into watching this show with my mom/partner in crime – but hey, better late than never. Your trademark Michael Bluth attitude of somewhat bored and indifferent is nothing short of perfect and I love that the nonchalant guy is your signature acting style because you do it so well. I’m a huge fan of your spelling bee gone wrong film, Bad Words. Even with your luscious locks buzzed in that movie, you still manage to look wonderful, which is a difficult thing to do. And of course, this post wouldn’t be complete without talking about everyone’s favorite, Horrible Bosses. I. Love. That. Movie. I hope you know that if you ever worked for me, I would treat you with the utmost dignity and respect, because you deserve it!!! I LOVE YOU!!!!!
^^^ What a guy, what a guy, what a heck of a guy. ❤
So there you have it, this week’s Man Crush Monday: Jason Bateman Edition! Who is everyone’s #MCM this week? What is your favorite creative endeavor by my man crush? I wanna hear from all of you, so leave me a comment and let’s chat! Much love. -Sarah
Helllooooo everyone and welcome to a new edition of Woman Crush Wednesday – Julia Louis-Dreyfus style! From a very young age, Seinfeld was always my go to TV show and my #WCW’s character, Elaine was who I wanted to be when I grow up…and I still do! So here’s to you, Lainey, a coveted spot as Lil Red’s Woman Crush Wednesday! Enjoy this classic video of Elaine getting her groove on and then let’s discuss:
Dear Julia Louis-Dreyfus,
Oh, Julia. Do you mind if I call you Julia? Ms. Louis-Dreyfus is a bit annoying to type out. Great! Julia it is! Your role as Elaine on Seinfeld is basically my dream acting job and my dream of how I want my life to be. Your outrageous wit and sass throughout the Seinfeld seasons taught me very early on that it was okay to be an outspoken and out there young lady. As a child, teen, or adult I always enjoyed watching how you could hold your own in a predominantly male cast and be able to steal the show every single time. “Get out” is a phrase that occurs very often in my household as well as dancing around the kitchen in “little kicks” fashion. Your television role is a role model to me just as much as you are in real life. Both you and Elaine have the amazing ability to be cheeky but charming which I think is one of the best characteristics on the planet. Not only is your personality a ten but so are your looks! Hubba hubba, lady! You have aged with such beauty and grace and it has been so fun to watch all of your career choices post Seinfeld. I’m particularly fond of your film, Enough Said. No matter what you do, you rock it and I can’t wait to see what your fabulous little self is up to next! I LOVE YOU!!!!!
^^^ She can seriously do no wrong. Perfection! ❤
So there you have it, this weeks Woman Crush Wednesday: Julia Louis-Dreyfus Edition!! Who is everyone’s #WCW this week? What is your favorite creative endeavor by my woman crush? I wanna hear from all of you, so leave me a comment and let’s chat! Much love. -Sarah
lifewithlilred 