Hello! Sundays are always a lazy day with my Johnny. Typically, we’ll watch a few shows or a movie together and he will spend the remainder of the day snoozing away. After he heads back to bed, I get free reign of the TV and watch whatever my little heart desires. This past Sunday, I chose to watch the new Netflix documentary, American Murder: Gabby Petito. I’m sure all of you can recall when this tragedy went completely viral and the documentary truly broke my heart. Before we begin, I am going to place a trigger warning on this post for domestic violence and mental abuse. Now, let’s discuss:
A significant portion of this documentary featured Gabby’s interactions with boyfriend/murderer, Brian Laundrie, as she attempted to start a travel blog on van life. It was harrowing to watch. Brian was a rain cloud over such a bright young woman and while she tried to shine, he was sulking. Everything he did was an attempt to extinguish her fire and he simply refused to give a strong woman his support in her efforts to make a name for herself. It felt eerily similar to a past relationship of mine.
I felt compelled to write about this because NO ONE should have the power over you to direct where your life is going to take you. This is important for everyone to hear – especially those who are trying to carve a name out for themselves online. My ex loved to monitor all of my innocent online interactions and would hold them against me. It got to the point where I didn’t talk to any of my friends or go on outings without his permission, amongst a plethora of other BS. It was so mentally draining that I didn’t care about much of anything, even my writing. That hurt so much because blogging and social media was always something I could turn to and it would make me feel better. When that security blanket was taken away I was left with nothing. No friends, no self esteem, and literally no motivation to try to make anything better to prevent arguments. It sucked.
Watching Gabby and Brian together instantly took me back to those dark times because their relationship hit so close to home. I blessedly got out of that relationship and, sadly, there are people who aren’t so lucky like Gabby. So, I guess what I’m trying to say is: If you are noticing these glaring warning signs in your own partner, then you are not experiencing real love. Love gives and receives and it doesn’t take until there’s nothing left. Love is supportive, kind, and should never make you feel less than amazing. Everyone deserves to be loved and to shine in any medium they so choose. It could be online, as an all star at your job, or basking in the warmth of friends, family, and community. Anyone who tells you or makes you feel otherwise is a liar.
If you or a friend are struggling, there is help. Even if you feel like your voice has been silenced, use it. You aren’t crazy, you aren’t wrong in your feelings, and if your gut instinct feels off – you are one million percent right.
What are you currently watching? What are your thoughts on this documentary if you have seen it? I want to hear from all of you, so leave me a comment and let’s chat! Much love. -Sarah
lifewithlilred 