So, you’ve met the perfect person. They make you happy in so many different ways and dating them is a dream. Sure, you’ve got your ups and downs, but nothing so far has been a deal breaker. If you’re wondering whether you’re ready to take the next step – moving in together – then take a look at these four key signs that you can start apartment-hunting:
It’s something you’ve already talked about:
If you aren’t talking about your future, then it might not be the right time to spring a conversation about moving in together on your partner. Not only is it healthy to keep communication lines open with your partner about what your expectations are of the relationship, but it will also indicate that you both want the same things and are prepared to take that next step together.
It’s not about “fixing” things:
You should avoid taking steps in your relationship because you’re expecting them to fix things. Moving in together won’t patch up a rocky relationship – that needs to come before you pick up the keys. Moving in together is a big deal, but it won’t suddenly mean your S.O. becomes a better communicator overnight, or more ambitious, or any other little annoyance that you’ve been ignoring up to now. If that’s your expectation, it might be time to put on the brakes.
You mostly agree:
Okay, we’re not saying you have to agree on everything – that would be pretty boring. But there does have to be a bit of common ground. If everything you’re looking for in an apartment is different, then that’s a reason to pause for thought. Are they interested in buying an apartment off the plan, but it’s not something you want? Or they’d prefer to be further outside the city whereas you want the nightlife? There should be an overlap of what you both want in the place you decide to cohabit. Of course, there will be points of compromise for both of you down this path, but that should make your relationship strong, rather than be a point of contention.
You’re okay with loosing some of your independence:
Again, this isn’t something that you’ll lose entirely. It’s usually a sign of an unhealthy relationship if you’re too dependent on each other. But at the same time, you will be giving up some of your own space and time for someone else. Rather than focusing on anything practical, like whether or not your lease is running out or you spend most of your time sleeping over at each other’s places, think about the emotional side of cohabiting. Is this person who you want to wake up next to every morning? Share meals with? Go through the ups and downs and life stresses with? If there’s a question mark hovering over those things, then you might be rushing into it.
Don’t downplay how important moving in together is – it’s usually the first steps towards a bright future for you and your partner. Just make sure you’re going in with your eyes open before you start picking out bedroom furniture!
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