Hello one and all and welcome to my final review of American Horror Story: Freak Show, since tonight’s episode appropriately entitled “Curtain Call” is the season finale! Let’s discuss what happened tonight, and then I’ll discuss how I personally felt about the finale. Shall we?

The Freak Show Massacre: Tonight’s episode begins with the freak show’s new owner Dandy bossing everyone around and being a diva as usual. “I’m surrounded by amateurs!” Paul, Penny, Eve, and some other members of the crew enter the big tent and Dandy finds out that they haven’t sold one single ticket to his opening performance. Naturally, Dandy Boy is outraged. He tells the troupe members that they’re all boring (Dandy hates boring!) and that the people want to see a new kind of freak. As he suggests horns for Penny, he pushes down on her head only to be pushed away by Paul. Eve then packs a one-two punch leaving Dandy bloody on the ground. The freaks stand over him and Paul hisses “You’re rubbish. You’re boring. We quit.” So off they go – but you already know Dandy won’t have this blatant disrespect, and as far as he’s concerned the entire troupe are dead freaks walking. Dandy steps into the sunshine in a dapper white suit while humming the Victory March as happy as can be, all while holding a golden gun. Paul approaches him about their final weeks pay and Dandy shoots him right in the head. Now his fun begins. He shoots Penny without thinking twice, up next is the small man, and the woman with no lower body. Dandy is only just getting started, he shoots Imma in the face and then heads off to Desi’s tent. We see her hiding in her closet, but luckily Dandy doesn’t find her. While stalking around the tent, Amazon Eve attacks Dandy and he drops the gun. Miss girl beats the shit out of him #queenoftheamazon but Dandy still manages to gain his composure and get his gun. He then promptly shoots Eve in the leg and then in the head. After a hard afternoons work, Dandy heads back to Bette and Dotte’s tent where they’re tied up and gagged. He then holds out his hand and tells his dream girls to come with him. After all of the murders take place, Jimmy returns to camp to find all of the dead bodies of his troupe mates piled one on top of the other in the big tent. He discovers that him and Desi are the only ones who survived the wrath of Dandy Boy.

A Freak Show Wedding: After Dandy kills off almost every single act in the freak show, we’re taken back to his house where we see none other than Bette and Dotte walking down the aisle in a wedding ceremony. It turns out him and Bette are getting hitched! “Mrs Motte,” she coos, “who could have ever imagined?” After the wedding the girls tell Dandy that they hired a new housekeeper who had culinary training in France to prepare their wedding feast. We see an overjoyed Dandy gushing over his blushing bride at the dinner table, discussing how many kids they’re going to have. “I’ve always found babies to be so boring, but freak babies?! AW!!!” Champagne is poured and the husband and bride indulge, which leaves Dandy feeling nauseous. “Someone’s put something in my bubbly!” In his dizzy stupor we find out that Desi is the so called “housekeeper”. Once Dandy realizes this he holds up a knife to Desi only to have Bette shoot him in the arm. The fun isn’t over yet, because the butler is revealed – Jimmy, looking dapper as hell in his suit! Jimmy places a covered up tray in front of Dandy and lifts the lid and an invitation to Dandy’s first freak show performance is revealed.

Dandy’s Final Act: We find sweet Dandy Boy waking up chained to the bottom of a tall glass tank. Desi informs Dandy that this is an escape tank, used by Harry Houdini himself. Jimmy begins filling the tank with water while Dandy screams “I’m not an escape artist! I’m a song and dance man!” He’s so sassy until the very end. Desi gives the sassafrass right back as she sneers through the glass “You may look like a motion picture dream boat – but you’re the biggest freak of them all.” Dandy continues to plead with Jimmy, Desi, and the twins as the tank continues to fill with water. “I’ll give you money! I have so much money!” However, phat stacks don’t impress the freaks. The water is almost over his head now and in true Dandy fashion, his final words are: “I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you!” #diva

LOVE HIM!!!!!

Fun Fact For Ya: Desi and her man candy, Angus get married and have two lovely little children. Jimmy also has a happily ever after because we see him later down the road with a pregnant Bette and Dotte. #wearefamily

What Happened To Elsa Mars: We’re reunited with the Queen Bee in Hollyweird. We see Elsa at a casting agency being denied time with Mr. Gable, the owner of the network because she doesn’t have an appointment. A defiant Elsa tells the snooty secretary that she’ll wait, and we watch her sit in the lobby all afternoon while the ashtray beside her overflows with lipstick stained cigarette butts. The day at the agency is coming to an end and Mr. Gable still hasn’t left the building. Elsa approaches the secretary as she leaves for the night and is informed that he left via the back exit and that he doesn’t want to see her. The secretary insults Elsa’s material and she gets a swift slap to the face. The girls get into a tussle, only to be broken up by Mister Mike Beck the junior vice president of casting for the network. The two bond over their German surnames and we then are flash forwarded to seeing Miss Mars get her star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame, accompanied by her manager and husband, Mr. Beck. Everything seems to be picture perfect for Elsa, until she gets in a little spat with her hubby about refusing to perform a Halloween special. If you remember the legend of Edward Mordrake, you’ll know that he appears to any freak show members performing on Halloween, usually resulting in their death. The next day, Miss Elsa has a visitor from Massimo. She tells him that she’s “bored and alone” and asks him to run away with her, like they planned to do so long ago. “I am cursed,” she says, “cursed by having my dreams ripped away and cursed by having them all come true.” Sweet Massimo then reveals his cursed nature as well, telling his love that he’s cursed with having a dream come true too late. Elsa looks at him questioningly, and Massimo tells her that he’s come to say good bye and that he’s dying from a disease in his lungs that have spread to his bones. Apparently Elsa can never win. We find her in her bedroom drinking away her broken heart, only to be accompanied by her husband and Mr. Gable who come bearing some bad news. The head of the network tells his star that the film of her legs being sawed off that was made decades ago in Germany has been found. After this major piece of information was found, more detective work was done on Elsa and her past as the owner of a freak show is discovered. She then learns that all of her freaks have been murdered and were found buried one on top of the other. Due to the morality code in Elsa’s contract, she’s basically getting fired. “I changed my mind,” she says to Mr. Gable, “I will perform on Halloween. Why not? I might as well go out with a bang.” Flash forward to her final televised performance where everything is going well, until Edward Mordrake’s signature green fog appears. Mordrake approaches the stage with his undead freak show troupe, Twisty the Clown included. Only Elsa can see these apparitions and she asks Edward to take her now. “It hurts…but only for a minute,” Twisty reassures her. And with that, Mordrake stabs her in the heart. As she dies he tells her “your place is not with us.” What could that mean? Well it means that the season ended very happy happy joy joy because Elsa ends up in heaven – and this heaven happens to be her very own Elsa Mars Cabinet of Curiosities. She’s greeted by all of her murdered freaks who she loved like children. Elsa and Ethel are reunited, and Elsa asks her why she’s not being punished for her sins. “Well, it’s like you told me,” said Ethel, “stars never pay. And we missed our headliner.” The season ends with Elsa Mars performing in her freak show heaven to a full house audience. The end.

So how did I feel about the season finale? I suppose it was okay. I didn’t hate it nor did I absolutely love it. I was actually quite underwhelmed. I felt that the finale should have been either longer or done in two parts because SO much happened in such little time that it seemed very jumbled together. I was disappointed with the fact that Twisty and Edward Mordrake were barely seen in the finale, because I loved their characters very much. I also wasn’t fond of how almost every freak was murdered in a matter of four or five minutes. The whole episode just seemed very rushed and herky jerky. The thing is, is that I understand what they were trying to do with the episode, but it just fell flat because there wasn’t enough time to elaborate on all of the different scenes. Am I thrilled that the season was ended on such a happy note? No, I’m not, quite frankly. This was an excruciatingly dark season and it almost didn’t make sense for the episode to end happily ever after. Is it bad that I wanted to see some type of struggle or suffering right till the very end? Whatever. Like I said, it was just very underwhelming. Does that take away from the fact that this season was fantastic overall? No. Does it take this season from an A+ in my opinion to a B? Yes.

But enough about my opinion – I wanna hear what you guys think! How did you feel about the season finale? How did you feel about this season as a whole? What was your favorite season of American Horror Story? I’d love to hear from you, so leave me a comment and let’s chat! See you here same time same place for season five! Goodnight. -Sarah

Holy moley! A whole heck of a lot happened on tonight’s episode of American Horror Story: Freak Show, appropriately titled “Show Stoppers”. Episode twelve had a TON of jaw dropping “wtf” moments that need to be discussed immediately! So let’s get started!

Murder #1) The first murder we learn about in tonight’s episode is of the director of the American Morbidity Museum. At Elsa’s going away to Hollywood party, she offers Mr. Spencer a gift, which turns out to be the directors severed head in a jar. We flash to a scene of Maggie and Desi at the museum. Maggie feels faint from the displays and the director tends to her in her private office. It’s long past closing hours, and the ladies are the only ones in the building. As soon as Desi realizes that they’re alone, she stabs the director, killing her dead.

Murder #2) Elsa has been made well aware of the troubles Mr. Spencer has caused, and as soon as he’s given his gift, she decides to put an end to the con artist once and for all, with the freaks’ assistance. First Amazon Eve straps Spencer onto the spinning bullseye and let’s Elsa try her hand at knife throwing once more. “You tried to kill my dreams but they cannot be murdered,” she says. Mr. Spencer is taken off the bullseye and Elsa cuts his knee with one of the knives, and then leaves him to the mercy of the freak show troupe, who are all wielding weapons of sharp mass destruction. You can guess what happens next, it’s a wrap for Mr. Spencer! #BYEFELICIA

Murder #3) Both con artists go bye bye tonight, because Maggie’s the next to go! With Chester in charge of the freak show, he holds a meeting discussing the act lineup. Chester declares that for his magic act he’s going to saw the twin girls in half, per Marjory’s request. The girls tell him they no longer want to be his assistant and promptly leave. Luckily, Maggie is there to volunteer herself like a real stand up gal. “Get in the box, Lucy” Chester hisses. Maggie hops in, and Chester handcuffs her feet together to up the stakes of the trick. We then see Chester’s vision of the act, complete with his costume, makeup, and an audience. He gives a grand speech about the sawing in half trick and as he prepares to work his magic, something goes wrong. He begins envisioning Alice, Lucy, and Marjory’s heads on Maggie’s body. The different women begin speaking to him and accusing him which confuses Chester greatly. In a flash of flustered “what the hell am I doing?” Chester saws Maggie clean in half. He then pushes the boxes apart only to have Maggie’s blood and guts come spilling out of it. Yum! The freaks are completely shocked when they come back to the stage to find Chester a bloody mess and Maggie dead as a doornail. Lucky for Chester, the freaks don’t seem too concerned about it as he runs off to his beloved Marjory. Desi states that Maggie had it coming. “So what do we do now?” Asks Paul. “Steal her jewelry and bury the bitch,” Desi shrugs. #BYEFELICIA #AGAIN

Murder #4) The hits just keep on coming tonight, and in this case a doll is going to be the one to receive the blows. After Chester saws Maggie in half, he runs off to his tent to find Marjory packing her bags. She tells him that he messed up and now they have to leave again. Marjory exchanges some words about Chester being a murderer and her owner begs her not to leave him. In the midst of trying to grab hold of Marjory to keep her from leaving and all of the confusion and frustration building up in Chester, he begins to stab his beloved Marjory. We see him stab the human version of the doll and watch him weep over her dead and bloody body. At the end of the episode we see a bloody Chester carrying a bundle of equally bloody blankets into a police station, saying that he has to report the murder of a little girl. He sets the bundle carefully onto the table and the police remove the blankets only to see the Marjory doll staring back at them. Chester then drops to his knees and cries “I killed her, take me to the chair.”

Jimmy Gets Prosthesis: In the midst of all the murder happening at the freak show, poor Jimmy is still recovering from having his hands cut off. Lucky for Jimmy, Elsa knows just the guy to give him the prosthesis hookup, none other than Massimo, the man who made her own wooden legs and saved her life. We learn while Jimmy is in a pain induced daze that Massimo also used to be the love of Elsa’s life, “I would have married him if he hadn’t been such a fool,” she says. In this heart wrenching scene we learn about what happened after Massimo saved Elsa from her certain death fate after her legs were sawed off on film. Massimo promised to himself that we would seek vengeance on the men who mutilated his beloved Elsa. He hunted the men down and murdered them one by one. Finally he found the ring leader of the film, a Nazi doctor by the name of Hans Gruper. (Ring a bell, season two fans?! This is ARTHUR ARDEN!!!!!! #MindBLOWN!!) When Massimo approaches Gruper, the Nazi ends up shooting him in the leg and torturing him with electric shock therapy. (A fan favorite of Doctor Arden in Asylum!) When a dazed Jimmy asks Massimo why he never returned to Elsa, he confesses that his body survived the torture, but he was left with no soul, no humanity, and a heart that cannot love. SO SAD

Dandy Boys’ Boudoir Visit: Dandy is well aware that the twins have moved on to Mr. Chester, and he is not pleased at all. To shake things up a little, he visits the twins in their tent, saying that he comes only as a friend. “I asked myself, Dandy what can I do to be in support of those beloved girls?” And apparently the answer to that is bringing the police files for the murder of Alice and Lucy. He tells the girls that Chester is an “absolutely beastly SICKO!” (#loveit) This angers Bette and Dotte and they tell Dandy to leave. Dandy parts ways with the girls stating that “mother always told me never argue with a woman when she’s angry” he blows them kisses and exits the tent.

An Update On Elsa: So what’s up with the Queen Bee? Well let’s see here, before the freaks murdered Mr. Spencer, the con artist begins hollering that Elsa killed Ethel, which stirred up quite a ruckus. We then see some of the freak show troupe having a pow wow discussing what to do next. Everyone seems to be in agreement that Elsa killed Ethel, and they’re all just waiting on the word from someone to initiate her murder. Paul is the one to speak up saying “the only way to secure our future is to make sure Elsa doesn’t have one.” The freaks then prepare to murder their beloved ring leader. But not on the conjoined twins’ watch. The girls go into Elsa’s tent, warning her of the danger ahead. “But where will I go?” Elsa cries. “Anywhere but here,” replies sweet Bette. Elsa hauls ass out, and the murderous clan of freaks enter her tent only to find it empty. We then see Elsa waiting in a car on a dark and rainy night when a figure approaches. Who else could it be but Dandy Boy? He offers Elsa a stack of cash and they part ways. Guess who’s the new owner of the freak show, purchased for ten thousand smackers? Uh huh, you guessed it….DANDY!!!!!!!!

The episode ends on a final WTF moment when Dandy is checking out his new carnival digs. He hears a strange noise coming from backstage while he’s practicing his bows and blowing kisses, he goes to investigate and ends up finding this:

So there you have it, tonight’s episode of American Horror Story: Freak Show in a nutshell! What did you love about tonight’s episode? What did you hate? WTF is that creature that we saw at the end of the show?! I’d love to hear from you, so leave me a comment and let’s chat! Goodnight! -Sarah