Tag Archives: rude people

Dec5

What’s The Skinny?

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What’s The Skinny?

Hi! Before we begin, I am going to put a trigger warning on this post for references to weight and eating disorders.

My weight and self image has always been something that I struggled with. I actually haven’t really thought about it in a while until one comment sent my mind back into a tailspin. With the holiday season in full swing now, I thought that it was high time to give everyone a friendly reminder so let’s get to it:

Due to COVID, it has probably been ages since people have seen their friends and family for a holiday gathering. In that time of everyone staying in and turning to video chat to connect, people’s bodies could change. Whether weight was gained or lost during that time it is NEVER your place to say anything. Why ruin someone’s day with a completely unwarranted comment?

Weight is a sensitive subject for many people and it is also something that can fluctuate for a multitude of reasons. Of course, it’s not anyone’s business but the person themselves and here are a few of many reasons for weight change: Medication, eating disorders, an illness, depression, PCOS, and so on and so forth.

I, myself, am well aware that I have lost weight thanks to everyone and their brother telling me. Just this past week, one of my old skating coaches who I haven’t seen since the start of the pandemic made it a point to tell me that I “trimmed down”. Little did he know, my weight gain came from a time of serious depression and a binge eating disorder. He also has no idea that I am a recovering bulimic.

What this person thought was a compliment hurt me deeply and it took me back mentally to when I could barely stand to look in the mirror. So, yeah, “you lost weight” is a statement that is filled with negative connotations when the person didn’t volunteer information like that they dieted or went to the gym.

Commenting on someone’s weight after you haven’t seen them in a while also can make it seem like the person’s self worth is directly correlated with how much they weigh. A true compliment if you feel the urge to say something would be that “you look happy”. And, if you’re unsure: Say nothing at all.

Words have power and as a writer, I know this firsthand. What my old coach deemed innocent enough has still been swirling around in my head days later. In fact, it originally made me not even want to go back to that rink at all. That’s pretty sad considering how much I look forward to my time on the ice.

This holiday season, I urge all of you to keep things merry and bright and leave comments about weight off the table. Chances are, your words are going to linger well beyond the holiday gathering.

Can anyone relate to the above sentiments? What is your favorite compliment to give? I want to hear from all of you, so leave me a comment and let’s chat! Much love. -Sarah

Dec12

#Overit

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#Overit

Alright, mama needs a good venting session, so here we go. Within literally TWO days of having my septum pierced asides from the other four nose piercings I have, I’ve already had multiple instances of people being rude to me because of them. There were two examples that really got me down, and one of them actually just happened about five minutes ago. I’ve been feeling really shitty about it, so I need to tell someone about it. So why not tell all of my readers?

Example One: I was at the dentist yesterday and had to get X-rays taken just like any standard dental check up. The X-ray technician asked me to take my earrings out, and I happily obliged. She then asked if I could take my nose piercings out, and I explained to her that my septum was brand new, and my four nose piercings cause me legitimate physical pain when I take them out, so unfortunately I can’t. I was extremely polite and was in no way rude to her. After I told her my facial piercings couldn’t be removed she gave me the dirtiest look I’ve ever received and didn’t talk to me for the rest of the process of getting my X-rays taken. When I wished her holiday greetings she replied with “mhm”. I was appalled. For one: the X-ray technician was at least forty years old or older – does it really make you feel that good to show such hostility to someone twice as young as you? For two: the least you can do when someone wishes you seasons greetings is smile back and say “you too”. Is uttering TWO WORDS really that difficult??? Sorry I’m not sorry that the way I look offends you, but you shouldn’t treat me any different than any of your other patients. This experience happened yesterday morning and it put a tangible damper on the rest of my day.

Example Two: Like I said, this instance happened about five minutes ago when I was running an errand. I was waiting in the customer service line at Marc’s to pick up an item that my mother had left earlier in the day. While I was in line minding my own business, a fifty something year old lady walked past me and said “Woah! Look at those piercings!” The lady standing behind me in line chuckled at this comment. I could feel myself sinking lower and lower. I couldn’t even bring myself to look at her to say anything back. What am I? A fucking member of a freak show? Since when did someone’s personal appearance become a laughing stock to someone? I wouldn’t have gone up to this woman and say
“Woah! Look at those wrinkles!” at her expense, so why would someone not show me that same respect? I honestly thought that I was going to cry.

I am not someone to be gawked at. I am not someone to be laughed at. I am not someone to receive dirty looks while walking around or waiting in line and minding my own business. I am not going to be made to feel like I’m a low life human being for the way that I choose to look. People always think that I’m over reacting or over exaggerating when I talk about how much all of this upsets me. But why shouldn’t it? I’m entitled to my emotions, especially when someone is treating me as less than a human being. I am a good person. I am beautiful. I am not unapproachable because of the way I look.

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I can’t wait for the day that I can walk around in public without being stared or snickered at. But until that day happens, please PLEASE treat everyone with respect. Black, white, purple, polka dot, covered in tattoos, or covered in piercings we are ALL humans who deserve to be treated with dignity.

Alright, rant over. I can’t say that I feel completely better, but this helped. Thanks for reading and listening to my sob story. It’s hard not to feel bad about it though. Have a fantastic Friday and an even better weekend! Spend it with someone you love! -Sarah