Sometimes, house hunting is fun. But most of the time, it’s such a pain in the neck. What makes it particularly stressful is when you and your spouse don’t see eye to eye on what you want your next home to be. Perhaps you want a big house just outside the city, but your partner prefers a small condo unit at the heart of the central business district. These small differences can blow up into big arguments, which could delay your move. So, what do you do when you can’t agree with your spouse in your house hunting? Take these steps:
Create your own home essentials list:
Since fights almost always come from what each of you thinks your family house should be, this is the first thing you should address. Here, the best approach is to make a list of your wants and needs in a home – separately. You want to do this independently so that at the end of the exercise, you’ll see the things you share in common. These similarities validate that these features are indeed important to you. But at the same time, don’t neglect the differences. Those are points for discussion. Make your case as to why these things should be in your home. Negotiate and be patient in expressing your concerns. But more importantly, listen. If your spouse has a point, be willing to concede.
Consider your budget:
All discussions should be framed in the context of how much house you can afford. When both of you have this perspective in approaching matters, it will be far easier to compromise. Those pretty countertops or furniture will be easier to resist. Now, if you don’t have a financial game plan yet, sit down and decide on it immediately before hitting the property market. Compare different quotes from lending agencies. When doing the math, make sure that your monthly payments on mortgage won’t take more than 25% of your take-home pay. Otherwise, you’ll be house poor in the next months. Once you’re able to settle on a budget already, stick to it. Inform your real estate agent about it. You may want to include this house and lot for sale in Cavite, which might fit your budget.
Cease and desist:
If you find yourself getting into a big fight over your next house, it’s wise to take a step back from the conversation or the house hunting process altogether. A nice home isn’t worth it if it’s going to split you up in the end. So give yourself a week break. No house-related matters over dinner. No budget-related talks on your dates. Use that time of ‘silence’ to ponder about your house-buying decisions separately. Your goal is to have a fresh, renewed mind once the break is and you resume the talk. Hopefully, that time of meditation will make you more understanding of each other and your priorities.
Have you been struggling with the home search because of your couple fights? Fight no more. Prioritize your relationship through and through and the house will come when the time is right.