Helloooo everyone and happy weekend! I hope all of you are having a wonderful day so far. So in case you guys weren’t aware, my Think Spring guest bloggers series is launching on February 15th. This series has been a fun one to work on and it has given me the opportunity to make some new blogging friends, like Lakshmi from The Rink. Lakshmi will be featured in my guest bloggers series but she was also kind enough to provide me with another terrific post for lifewithlilred. This article is titled “Never Been On A Date” and you saw it here first!
Never Been On A Date:
Terms, which you won’t believe, that exist!
I am L.R. and I come from India. For those who don’t know, there is this system in India known as the “arranged marriage system” – a guy and a girl who are ‘destined’ to be with each other (through the idea of horoscope matching) get married. They need not know each other or even have to love each other before getting married. Why, in the olden times, they wouldn’t even meet each other until the wedding ceremony. Just to clarify, this system doesn’t happen all over India but in the conservative families.
The rules have since relaxed a little. Nevertheless, it is still of importance to get the girl married before she turns a certain age, currently it is 24 (which is pretty late according to them!). I am in this inevitable system. There is this thing known as “trust” – something that I built with quite a strong foundation in my parents’ minds for not ‘loving’ or ‘dating’ any guy. This will keep me out of any relationships with a constant status of “Single but not available”. It doesn’t make a lot of sense to my friends of other lands but that is how it is!
I live in the Present too!
Being in such a connected world in the 21st Century, I have to say that 99% of the movies I see, books I read, and all of media revolve around “love”… not the daughter-parents love or platonic love but love – the feeling you have towards a special someone. While people on every other side of the Earth keep waiting to meet “the one”, I know that I’ll meet him through my parents. Nope, the guys on whom I have crushes on will never be my one. As of now, love is a forbidden emotion, almost like the Candy House in Hansel and Gretel! Yes, I know that I live in 2017!
I mean, forget love… lets talk about the dating game.
Have I ever dated? Nope! Because this will lead to love, of course. While some of my friends go on dates and love guys, I freak out about the fortress of trust. Once we break it, it will take long to re-build it. Do I want to go on a date? I am restricted from giving an absolute answer. I want to try it. Just imagine that you are forbidden from eating chocolate for your entire life and everywhere you see, there are movies and books about chocolate (analogy is, admittedly, not the greatest here). You would want to taste this restricted deliciousness… at least once, right?
Looking back at it now, it is funny that I have grown up with this ‘inserted’ thought that I’m not beautiful and I should be beautiful only for the guy I marry. To tell you the truth, I’m not a very pretty girl but a girl with some definite admirers. Yes, some of them have mustered up the courage to even approach me (dating game and love is still considered a mild taboo). I just rush away from the spot or speak to them meanly or even lie to them about already having a boyfriend. Haha! This is what I did! After all of this, my girlfriends and I sit and talk and laugh about these encounters! Although I kept brushing away dates, deep inside I knew that I wanted to try it once.
When I really wanted to try it and I asked some of my ‘experienced’ friends, they always tell me to never fall into this trap! Then, they would overflow with episodes from their bad dating life – the ones in which I would hate to be a part. Seeing them cry, I would feel that it is the right decision to stay far away from the dating world. But hey! I don’t know how it will be… These friends of mine recommend it one in four times… one in four times, they would actually be content in the game. This left me with the only thing that improved over the years – my imagination.
I imagine being on a date with the most awesome and handsome celebrities out there in the world. Even in my daydreams, the date doesn’t go well! I feel like everything is in the right place except my conscience. Haha! Growing up this way, I don’t think that I will ever sneak around to go on a date. I just cannot be a badass – it’s not me. And guess what? I like this style of living. I am familiar with it. I don’t have heart-breaks. I don’t need to search far and wide for my true love. I don’t need to date a couple of losers to find the one. I kind of get a fast-pass to the real deal in this game! Around 95% of the arranged marriages that happen through this system in India come with a guarantee that the couple will stay together as long as they live!
Welcome to my life!
^^^ Thank you so much again to Lakshmi for such an informative and delightful read! You can catch her again soon during my Think Spring guest bloggers series! What is the best or worst date that you have ever been on? How does Lakshmi’s lifestyle differ or relate to your own? I want to hear from all of you, so leave me a comment and let’s chat! Much love. -Sarah
PS: If you are interested in participating in my guest bloggers series, feel free to shoot me an email at firstname.lastname@example.org! 🙂