Tag Archives: trigger warning

Dec5

What’s The Skinny?

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What’s The Skinny?

Hi! Before we begin, I am going to put a trigger warning on this post for references to weight and eating disorders.

My weight and self image has always been something that I struggled with. I actually haven’t really thought about it in a while until one comment sent my mind back into a tailspin. With the holiday season in full swing now, I thought that it was high time to give everyone a friendly reminder so let’s get to it:

Due to COVID, it has probably been ages since people have seen their friends and family for a holiday gathering. In that time of everyone staying in and turning to video chat to connect, people’s bodies could change. Whether weight was gained or lost during that time it is NEVER your place to say anything. Why ruin someone’s day with a completely unwarranted comment?

Weight is a sensitive subject for many people and it is also something that can fluctuate for a multitude of reasons. Of course, it’s not anyone’s business but the person themselves and here are a few of many reasons for weight change: Medication, eating disorders, an illness, depression, PCOS, and so on and so forth.

I, myself, am well aware that I have lost weight thanks to everyone and their brother telling me. Just this past week, one of my old skating coaches who I haven’t seen since the start of the pandemic made it a point to tell me that I “trimmed down”. Little did he know, my weight gain came from a time of serious depression and a binge eating disorder. He also has no idea that I am a recovering bulimic.

What this person thought was a compliment hurt me deeply and it took me back mentally to when I could barely stand to look in the mirror. So, yeah, “you lost weight” is a statement that is filled with negative connotations when the person didn’t volunteer information like that they dieted or went to the gym.

Commenting on someone’s weight after you haven’t seen them in a while also can make it seem like the person’s self worth is directly correlated with how much they weigh. A true compliment if you feel the urge to say something would be that “you look happy”. And, if you’re unsure: Say nothing at all.

Words have power and as a writer, I know this firsthand. What my old coach deemed innocent enough has still been swirling around in my head days later. In fact, it originally made me not even want to go back to that rink at all. That’s pretty sad considering how much I look forward to my time on the ice.

This holiday season, I urge all of you to keep things merry and bright and leave comments about weight off the table. Chances are, your words are going to linger well beyond the holiday gathering.

Can anyone relate to the above sentiments? What is your favorite compliment to give? I want to hear from all of you, so leave me a comment and let’s chat! Much love. -Sarah

Dec1

Lil Red’s Book Club: Sometimes I Lie By Alice Feeney Edition

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Lil Red’s Book Club: Sometimes I Lie By Alice Feeney Edition

Hi! Today, we are going to be discussing Sometimes I Lie by Alice Feeney – without giving any spoilers away, of course. If this author sounds familiar to you, it should! I recently finished another book by hers called His & Hers. Much like the last book of Feeney’s that I reviewed, I will be putting a massive trigger warning on Sometimes I Lie for graphic scenes of violence and sexual assault. Now, let’s get to it:

Sometimes I Lie opens with our main character, Amber Reynolds realizing that she is in the hospital in a coma after a horrible accident. She can hear what is going on around her, but she cannot move, see, or speak. As we embark on this reading journey, we learn that Amber is a broken woman and not just in terms of the current state of her body.

The chapters of Sometimes I Lie alternate between Amber in the hospital, the days leading up to her accident, and the diary of a young girl. From the diary entries, we learn that whomever wrote them had a difficult childhood due to neglectful, alcoholic parents and moving around constantly. Things haven’t been easy for Amber since the diaries have been written and she is riddled with OCD rituals, low self esteem, and the nagging idea that her husband is cheating on her.

Despite what could be considered a “dream job” of being a presenter on a popular radio show, Amber is chronically unhappy in her work and life in general. Tensions are high between Amber and the star of the radio show until she develops a plot with her friend to get the problematic host fired, and the metaphorical shit hits the fan from there.

Stresses at work, an overbearing sister, inattentive husband, and the return of an ex boyfriend push Amber to her breaking point until she finds herself in the coma. As the days blend together in her state of permanent sleep, Amber’s foggy mind tries to connect the dots of how she got there in the first place. How did she end up in a coma? And what has Amber been lying about? Read Sometimes I Lie to find out!

There were a lot of things that I liked about Sometimes I Lie but, unfortunately, the things that I didn’t enjoy about this book outweighed the good. We all know that Lil Red loves back and forth chapters as well as multiple story lines. However, there was way too many convoluted plot twists and I never thought that I would find myself saying that.

So many complex story lines in Sometimes I Lie made this book insanely difficult to follow and I honestly still don’t know if I understand it completely. Don’t get me wrong, I don’t mind when some things are left up to interpretation but not the entire story line! Amber begins this book by admitting that “sometimes I lie” which means that literally everything that she is saying could be false.

Knowing that there might not be an ounce of truth to what Amber says made for a muddled grand reveal and absolutely no closure once finishing the book. I did enjoy individual aspects of the story lines of Sometimes I Lie but when mixed all together into a relatively short book of two hundred and sixty pages, it made my final interpretation murky at best.

I am going to award Sometimes I Lie with a four out of ten stars. If you are looking for a vague but interesting enough read, give it a shot. However, if like me, you prefer not to second guess everything you read in a book, then you can definitely skip on this one. Trust me, you’re not missing much.

What did you think about Sometimes I Lie? What are you currently reading? I want to hear from all of you, so leave me a comment and let’s chat! Much love. -Sarah

 

Nov15

Lil Red’s Book Club: His & Hers By Alice Feeney Edition

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Lil Red’s Book Club: His & Hers By Alice Feeney Edition

Hello everyone and welcome to a new edition of Lil Red’s Book Club! Today, we are going to be discussing a thriller by Alice Feeney called His & Hers – without giving any spoilers away, of course. Before we dive right in, I will be putting a massive trigger warning on this book for gruesome murders and a graphic scene of sexual assault. If this is something that would impact your mental health, please skip on reading His & Hers. Now, let’s get to it:

Anna started from the bottom of the BBC news and worked her way up to an anchor when the former went on maternity leave. For two years, Anna had her dream job but that’s not to say that everything was perfect due to her severe alcoholism. In fact, she describes herself in the beginning of the book as being the “unstable narrator” to her life. Despite this, her career is going accordingly to plan until her predecessor returns from leave and Anna gets kicked off the news and back into the correspondent’s corner.

Anna’s first task as a correspondent is to return back to her small hometown of Blackdown to report on a gruesome murder that might be the beginning of a spree. The thing is, she knows the victim personally as does the detective, Jack Harper. Both have a connection to the victim that would put them at the center of the investigation if found out so mum is definitely the word, especially as the murderer continues killing.

These serial killings have put sleepy, tight knit Blackdown in disarray and just being there stirs up a lifetime of bad memories for Anna and Jack alike. The reminders of a former life are almost worse than the insurmountable amount of stress as they do their jobs because evidence is being planted on Jack and Anna’s mom is suffering from dementia.

As more victims are found, the culprit feels like they are slipping through the fingers of the law and everyone turns into a suspect. Will Jack and his team be able to solve the case? And just what about Anna’s past caused all of this to happen in the first place? Read His & Hers to find out!

I have very mixed feelings about His & Hers and am actually still trying to digest it because I was loving the book until a very difficult to read chapter. His & Hers featured everything that I enjoy in a novel with three different narrators (Anna, Jack, and the killer) and a grand reveal that I so did not see coming. Similarly to when I read False Witness, the story line was excellent but it was hard to look past the graphic nature of some of the scenes.

The murderer’s unveiling was, indeed, a jaw dropping one and just when you thought you knew for sure who did it, the rug would get swept from under your feet. The short chapters of the killer’s thoughts really could have belonged to anyone in His & Hers and massive kudos to whomever figured out their identity because I never would have guessed it in a million years.

It’s hard for me to wrap my head around this read because I enjoyed everything but one part so much. The plot, narrators, and ending were all awesome and I have never read anything like it before. Needless to say, coming up with a star rating is difficult but I am going to award it with: five and a half out of ten stars. Without one chapter, I had already planned on rating His & Hers with a ten but some things just leave too bad of a taste in your mouth to overlook.

What are you currently reading? What should I read next? I want to hear from all of you, so leave me a comment and let’s chat! Much love. -Sarah

Sep27

Lil Red’s Book Club: False Witness By Karin Slaughter Edition

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Lil Red’s Book Club: False Witness By Karin Slaughter Edition

Hi everyone and welcome to a brand new edition of Lil Red’s Book Club! Today, we will be discussing a book called False Witness by Karin Slaughter – without giving any spoilers away, of course. Before we begin, however, I will be placing an extreme trigger warning on this book and post. False Witness covers every type of abuse imaginable, violence, rape, and drug addiction. It is definitely not a book to be read by the faint of heart. With that in mind, let’s get to it:

Big sister Leigh and little sis Callie spent their childhood in poverty and immersed in abuse at the hands of adults who should have been protecting them. Finally, the hunted became the hunters and the sisters murdered one of their abusers – the father of the child that Callie was babysitting. They cleaned house, covered their tracks, and lived their lives as if nothing happened afterwards.

To cope, Leigh worked hard to the point of obsessive and became a defense attorney for a major law firm. Callie, on the other hand, turned to hard drugs to ease her pain from scars both mental and physical. She would show up in Leigh’s life occasionally to steal money and possessions but mainly lived on the streets or seedy motels.

For over twenty years, the girls thought that they had gotten away with the perfect crime and did their best to keep it in the back of their minds. That is, until Leigh is hired to defend a new client on brutal rape charges. Who is he? None other than the boy that they babysat all of those years ago.

Andrew Tenant is clearly guilty beyond a reasonable doubt and everyone seems to know it. However, he expects to get off scot free because he has leverage over Leigh that will incriminate both her and Callie if she doesn’t succeed in trial… He knows that they killed his father. How, you may ask? Read False Witness to find out!

Let me start off by saying that False Witness in its entirety was insanely hard to read. Its content was nothing short of heartbreaking and deeply disturbing. Having said that, it was a book that kept my attention to the very end with twists, turns, and complete curve balls on every page.

The subject matter was, at times, unbearable. However, Karin Slaughter crafted the two sisters in such a way that I was rooting for them harder than I have for any other character in the books that I have read recently. Despite their flaws, both Leigh and Callie were likeable, smart, so strong, and sometimes absolutely hilarious. In fact, I liked them even more because of everything that they have gone through.

Slaughter hit hard in this book to the point that it was almost grueling. She shined a light on very real issues and wrote in such a way that it felt like you were reading a true story. The sense of urgency in this book was palpable. There were also delicious moments of comic relief that had me in stitches, which was much needed and appreciated.

I am going to award Karin Slaughter’s False Witness with a six out of ten star rating. While I can’t say that I enjoyed this book due to its graphic nature, I loved how it was written as well as the two main characters. If you can stomach it, False Witness is certainly worth the read. If not, please don’t bother with it because it is not worth damaging your own mental health.

What are you currently reading? What should I read next? I want to hear from all of you, so leave me a comment and let’s chat! Much love. -Sarah

 

May13

Lil Red’s Book Club: The Night Swim By Megan Goldin Edition

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Lil Red’s Book Club: The Night Swim By Megan Goldin Edition

Hello everyone and welcome to a new edition of Lil Red’s Book Club! Today we will be discussing a true crime thriller called The Night Swim by Megan Goldin – without giving any spoilers away, of course. It took me a while to get started on reading this book because these past few weeks have been super busy for yours truly. However, once I finally cracked it open I devoured it in less than one week and it was excellent. In fact, it has easily been one of the best books that I’ve read in a good long while.

Before proceeding with the review of The Night Swim, I will be placing a trigger warning on this book as the true crime aspects include rape and murder. Here we go:

Rachel Krall is the creator of the hugely popular true crime podcast called Guilty or Not Guilty. Love her or hate her, she is a household name who reached overnight celebrity status when she uncovered new information that lead to a man falsely convicted of murder to get out of jail in one of her seasons. Between investigating, writing, and recording for her podcast, Rachel is an extremely busy woman and is in crunch mode because the highly anticipated third season of Guilty or Not Guilty is about to begin.

While previous seasons of her podcast reviewed crimes and trials that had already happened, season three will be completely different as Rachel will be reporting in real time at the trial of Scott Blair – a teenage swimming champion accused of rape. Rachel travels to the sleepy, small town called Neapolis in coastal North Carolina, which is already incredibly divided about the case before the trial has even began.

Before reaching town, Rachel stops at a roadside diner for some caffeine and returns to her car to find a letter tucked under her windshield. Despite Rachel’s celebrity status, she has maintained anonymity and her fans don’t know what she looks like, making this delivery alarming. Even more shocking, however, are the contents of the letter from a fan named Hannah who grew up in Neapolis.

Hannah explains that she believes her older sister, Jenny, was murdered twenty-five years ago and wants Rachel’s help to uncover the truth. As previously mentioned, Rachel is a busy woman and her time in Neapolis is spent between investigating a current rape trial and a cold case from a quarter of a century ago. Will her skill and instinct lead her to new information to give closure to Hannah? What will be the outcome of season three of Guilty or Not Guilty? Read The Night Swim to find out!

Despite downright disturbing subject matter, The Night Swim was a captivating read and it really felt like I was investigating the cases right along with Rachel. The book went back and forth each chapter between Rachel’s detective work, letters from Hannah, transcripts from her podcast, and a play by play of the rape trial. It made The Night Swim completely unputdownable because it felt like I was Rachel’s partner and I was urgent for more information to try and solve the cases. While I didn’t get the grand reveal right, I was damn close and was pleased with how much I was able to piece together.

What I enjoyed the most about The Night Swim was how seamlessly it weaved together the past and present cases that Rachel was investigating. In Neapolis, everyone knows everyone and having information from twenty-five years past about current characters provided insight that you rarely get in psychological thrillers. And, of course, Rachel was an amazing heroine who you will find yourself rooting for the entire book.

If the subject matter of The Night Swim isn’t triggering for you, then I cannot recommend this book enough. To further confirm this, I will be awarding it with the prestigious ten out of ten star rating. I have never read a book like this before and I honestly wouldn’t mind reading it again. Megan Goldin is definitely an author to look out for!

What are you reading? What should I read next? I want to hear from all of you, so leave me a comment and let’s chat! Much love. -Sarah

 

Dec15

Have You Lost Weight?

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Have You Lost Weight?

Trigger Warning – This post discusses eating disorders!

Hi everyone! Have you ever received a compliment that made you a little upset? As a recovering bulimic, I admit that I still worry about my weight a lot even though I haven’t purged in several years. So, when I was asked twice in one work day if I lost weight it definitely had me feeling some type of way – even though I don’t really do anything to work out except for a couple of short walks once or twice a week.

I genuinely hate being asked if I lost weight because the thoughts that instantly form in my mind go along the lines of “was I overweight before?” and “challenge accepted, I’ll lose more”. It is extremely triggering for me and, although I have much better coping skills now, I still have to deal with those thoughts and I’d be a liar if I said I wasn’t still thinking about it.

A lot of people think that asking someone if they have lost weight could be a compliment but I know firsthand that it is anything but. I encourage all of you to really think before you ask someone that and would advise to only ask it if you know for a fact that the person is actively trying to lose weight for a healthier lifestyle. You have no idea if the person you’re asking has or had an eating disorder, an illness, or tons of stress that has attributed to their recent weight loss. What you think is a compliment could actually be harmful and has the power to hurt feelings and exasperate issues that people are currently struggling or used to struggle with.

If you genuinely want to compliment someone in regards to their weight, I would recommend just telling them that they look good. “Hey, you look nice today” has a lot less of a negative connotation than straight up asking if they lost weight. Some people might roll their eyes when they read this post as they are sick of having to “monitor” what they say. But, as writers, we all know that words have power and effect everyone differently.

I know all of the statements in this post to be true for me personally and I just wanted to open everyone’s eyes to a comment that they might not even think about before they make it. Choose your words carefully and don’t use them to cause anyone any additional stress – with the state of the world right now, I promise that we all have a lot more important things to deal with than racing thoughts about if you lost a couple of pounds. Just something to think about!

What is a “compliment” that you hate receiving? What is a compliment that you like to give to people? I want to hear from all of you, so leave me a comment and let’s chat! Much love. -Sarah

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