Hello everyone and happy Tuesday! It’s almost the start of 2015, therefore I feel obligated to jump on the bandwagon and make a New Year’s resolution post. I’m not going to try to do things in the new year that I know I’m not going to follow through with, such as working out or not eating at Taco Bell every week. These resolutions are going to be more mental, so I can work on myself for a change. Before I get started, here’s some New Years tune-age for your enjoyment! 😉
^^^^^ I had to, guys. I just HAD TO!
ANYWHO, here’s my New Years resolutions for 2015:
Stop being so hard on myself: I’ve always been my toughest critic and this needs to stop. I’ve been especially hard on myself since I quit my stupid job, but really I should be proud of myself. I was getting sexually harassed there to no end and I finally said enough is enough…that shouldn’t be something that I’m shaming myself with. I’ve been so worried about money since I quit a little less than two weeks ago, but I need to keep reminding myself of how lucky I am. I’m still living at home and I’m pretty sure that my parents don’t plan on throwing me out on the street….yet 😉 I need to embrace everything about myself, including some of the things that I’m not so thrilled with. Once you acknowledge your shortcomings, you can change them.
Stop comparing myself to other people: This kind of goes hand in hand with beating myself up constantly in my mind. For example, when I was at a get together about a week ago with some people who I absolutely despised from high school, I felt like such a failure. I felt like a loser for not having a job or for not being at a classic university setting for college. Instead of comparing my situation to the other people in the room, I should have just confidently told them all that I was rocking life when asked what I’ve been up to instead of muttering that I’m at a community college. (Which there is NOTHING wrong with! TRI-C REPRESENT!!!!!!!) When I start getting into the comparing and contrasting game in my head, I need to start giving myself a friendly reminder of where I was at a few years ago. A few years ago I was suicidal, depressed, a bulimic, and a cutter….I was in absolutely no state to attend college. Instead of comparing myself to people who probably didn’t have issues similar to mine, I need to be grateful that I’m finally in a place to start thinking about my future instead of dreading it. I need to give myself more credit, because I’ve come a very long way.
Strive for no instances of self harm: In 2014 I can count the amount of times I’ve cut or made myself throw up on five fingers. For this new year I want to strive for ZERO instances of self harm. One of my problems is that I genuinely hate asking for help, but when it comes to my personal well being I need to start doing so. When I feel the urge to cut or the god awful rhyme “urge to purge” I need to call up the friends who have been telling me to call them when I feel that way for years. I need to start writing in my journal again, which always calmed me down when I got the sensation of needing to self harm before. I also think it would be a wise decision to possibly find a therapist that I could start going to a few times a month so when I need a good venting session, I have a safe and confidential environment to do so.
Be my own best friend: Would a best friend beat yourself up verbally enough to make you want to cry? Would a best friend constantly compare you to people who are living their life differently than yours? Would a best friend be okay with you cutting yourself or making yourself vomit? The answer is a big fat NO to all of these questions. Therefore, I need to become BFF’s with Sarah. I need to treat myself like my best friends treat me, with respect, kindness, and a whole lot of love. And if being my own BFF means taking myself out for a beautiful dining experience at the local Taco Bell, THEN SO BE IT……oh wait….I already do that. -____- Maybe treating myself to a manicure every so often is a better idea! 😉
So there you have it, Lil Red’s New Years resolutions! I hope all of you have an amazing time celebrating on New Year’s Eve and the best of luck sticking to your resolutions in 2015. It’s been a pleasure writing on lifewithlilred these past few months in 2014 and I am so thrilled to come back even stronger in the new year! What are your New Years resolutions? What was one resolution you made that you didn’t stick to? Leave me a comment and let’s chat! Much love -Sarah