Hello one and all and welcome to my final review of American Horror Story: Freak Show, since tonight’s episode appropriately entitled “Curtain Call” is the season finale! Let’s discuss what happened tonight, and then I’ll discuss how I personally felt about the finale. Shall we?

The Freak Show Massacre: Tonight’s episode begins with the freak show’s new owner Dandy bossing everyone around and being a diva as usual. “I’m surrounded by amateurs!” Paul, Penny, Eve, and some other members of the crew enter the big tent and Dandy finds out that they haven’t sold one single ticket to his opening performance. Naturally, Dandy Boy is outraged. He tells the troupe members that they’re all boring (Dandy hates boring!) and that the people want to see a new kind of freak. As he suggests horns for Penny, he pushes down on her head only to be pushed away by Paul. Eve then packs a one-two punch leaving Dandy bloody on the ground. The freaks stand over him and Paul hisses “You’re rubbish. You’re boring. We quit.” So off they go – but you already know Dandy won’t have this blatant disrespect, and as far as he’s concerned the entire troupe are dead freaks walking. Dandy steps into the sunshine in a dapper white suit while humming the Victory March as happy as can be, all while holding a golden gun. Paul approaches him about their final weeks pay and Dandy shoots him right in the head. Now his fun begins. He shoots Penny without thinking twice, up next is the small man, and the woman with no lower body. Dandy is only just getting started, he shoots Imma in the face and then heads off to Desi’s tent. We see her hiding in her closet, but luckily Dandy doesn’t find her. While stalking around the tent, Amazon Eve attacks Dandy and he drops the gun. Miss girl beats the shit out of him #queenoftheamazon but Dandy still manages to gain his composure and get his gun. He then promptly shoots Eve in the leg and then in the head. After a hard afternoons work, Dandy heads back to Bette and Dotte’s tent where they’re tied up and gagged. He then holds out his hand and tells his dream girls to come with him. After all of the murders take place, Jimmy returns to camp to find all of the dead bodies of his troupe mates piled one on top of the other in the big tent. He discovers that him and Desi are the only ones who survived the wrath of Dandy Boy.

A Freak Show Wedding: After Dandy kills off almost every single act in the freak show, we’re taken back to his house where we see none other than Bette and Dotte walking down the aisle in a wedding ceremony. It turns out him and Bette are getting hitched! “Mrs Motte,” she coos, “who could have ever imagined?” After the wedding the girls tell Dandy that they hired a new housekeeper who had culinary training in France to prepare their wedding feast. We see an overjoyed Dandy gushing over his blushing bride at the dinner table, discussing how many kids they’re going to have. “I’ve always found babies to be so boring, but freak babies?! AW!!!” Champagne is poured and the husband and bride indulge, which leaves Dandy feeling nauseous. “Someone’s put something in my bubbly!” In his dizzy stupor we find out that Desi is the so called “housekeeper”. Once Dandy realizes this he holds up a knife to Desi only to have Bette shoot him in the arm. The fun isn’t over yet, because the butler is revealed – Jimmy, looking dapper as hell in his suit! Jimmy places a covered up tray in front of Dandy and lifts the lid and an invitation to Dandy’s first freak show performance is revealed.

Dandy’s Final Act: We find sweet Dandy Boy waking up chained to the bottom of a tall glass tank. Desi informs Dandy that this is an escape tank, used by Harry Houdini himself. Jimmy begins filling the tank with water while Dandy screams “I’m not an escape artist! I’m a song and dance man!” He’s so sassy until the very end. Desi gives the sassafrass right back as she sneers through the glass “You may look like a motion picture dream boat – but you’re the biggest freak of them all.” Dandy continues to plead with Jimmy, Desi, and the twins as the tank continues to fill with water. “I’ll give you money! I have so much money!” However, phat stacks don’t impress the freaks. The water is almost over his head now and in true Dandy fashion, his final words are: “I hate you, I hate you, I hate you, I hate you!” #diva

LOVE HIM!!!!!

Fun Fact For Ya: Desi and her man candy, Angus get married and have two lovely little children. Jimmy also has a happily ever after because we see him later down the road with a pregnant Bette and Dotte. #wearefamily

What Happened To Elsa Mars: We’re reunited with the Queen Bee in Hollyweird. We see Elsa at a casting agency being denied time with Mr. Gable, the owner of the network because she doesn’t have an appointment. A defiant Elsa tells the snooty secretary that she’ll wait, and we watch her sit in the lobby all afternoon while the ashtray beside her overflows with lipstick stained cigarette butts. The day at the agency is coming to an end and Mr. Gable still hasn’t left the building. Elsa approaches the secretary as she leaves for the night and is informed that he left via the back exit and that he doesn’t want to see her. The secretary insults Elsa’s material and she gets a swift slap to the face. The girls get into a tussle, only to be broken up by Mister Mike Beck the junior vice president of casting for the network. The two bond over their German surnames and we then are flash forwarded to seeing Miss Mars get her star on the Hollywood Walk of Fame, accompanied by her manager and husband, Mr. Beck. Everything seems to be picture perfect for Elsa, until she gets in a little spat with her hubby about refusing to perform a Halloween special. If you remember the legend of Edward Mordrake, you’ll know that he appears to any freak show members performing on Halloween, usually resulting in their death. The next day, Miss Elsa has a visitor from Massimo. She tells him that she’s “bored and alone” and asks him to run away with her, like they planned to do so long ago. “I am cursed,” she says, “cursed by having my dreams ripped away and cursed by having them all come true.” Sweet Massimo then reveals his cursed nature as well, telling his love that he’s cursed with having a dream come true too late. Elsa looks at him questioningly, and Massimo tells her that he’s come to say good bye and that he’s dying from a disease in his lungs that have spread to his bones. Apparently Elsa can never win. We find her in her bedroom drinking away her broken heart, only to be accompanied by her husband and Mr. Gable who come bearing some bad news. The head of the network tells his star that the film of her legs being sawed off that was made decades ago in Germany has been found. After this major piece of information was found, more detective work was done on Elsa and her past as the owner of a freak show is discovered. She then learns that all of her freaks have been murdered and were found buried one on top of the other. Due to the morality code in Elsa’s contract, she’s basically getting fired. “I changed my mind,” she says to Mr. Gable, “I will perform on Halloween. Why not? I might as well go out with a bang.” Flash forward to her final televised performance where everything is going well, until Edward Mordrake’s signature green fog appears. Mordrake approaches the stage with his undead freak show troupe, Twisty the Clown included. Only Elsa can see these apparitions and she asks Edward to take her now. “It hurts…but only for a minute,” Twisty reassures her. And with that, Mordrake stabs her in the heart. As she dies he tells her “your place is not with us.” What could that mean? Well it means that the season ended very happy happy joy joy because Elsa ends up in heaven – and this heaven happens to be her very own Elsa Mars Cabinet of Curiosities. She’s greeted by all of her murdered freaks who she loved like children. Elsa and Ethel are reunited, and Elsa asks her why she’s not being punished for her sins. “Well, it’s like you told me,” said Ethel, “stars never pay. And we missed our headliner.” The season ends with Elsa Mars performing in her freak show heaven to a full house audience. The end.

So how did I feel about the season finale? I suppose it was okay. I didn’t hate it nor did I absolutely love it. I was actually quite underwhelmed. I felt that the finale should have been either longer or done in two parts because SO much happened in such little time that it seemed very jumbled together. I was disappointed with the fact that Twisty and Edward Mordrake were barely seen in the finale, because I loved their characters very much. I also wasn’t fond of how almost every freak was murdered in a matter of four or five minutes. The whole episode just seemed very rushed and herky jerky. The thing is, is that I understand what they were trying to do with the episode, but it just fell flat because there wasn’t enough time to elaborate on all of the different scenes. Am I thrilled that the season was ended on such a happy note? No, I’m not, quite frankly. This was an excruciatingly dark season and it almost didn’t make sense for the episode to end happily ever after. Is it bad that I wanted to see some type of struggle or suffering right till the very end? Whatever. Like I said, it was just very underwhelming. Does that take away from the fact that this season was fantastic overall? No. Does it take this season from an A+ in my opinion to a B? Yes.

But enough about my opinion – I wanna hear what you guys think! How did you feel about the season finale? How did you feel about this season as a whole? What was your favorite season of American Horror Story? I’d love to hear from you, so leave me a comment and let’s chat! See you here same time same place for season five! Goodnight. -Sarah