So I made the decision to try quitting smoking on Thursday of last week. Since then, I’ve only had two cigarettes. Let me tell you, I’ve been fiending for a cigarette every day, and last night I finally caved and had one because I was so stressed out. All of this stuff with trying to get registered for college, and looking for a new job has just been a whirl wind of anxiety for me. I just want one thing to go my way for once, so I’m really REALLY hoping I get the job at Next, which I interviewed for yesterday. My fingers and toes have been crossed all day, and it would make me so happy if I was offered a job. It would relieve so much stress to get one out of my two major issues (college and job) tackled. I had a minor freak out last night about it and my need for a cig was too strong to fight! Lucky for me, my sister smokes the same kind of cigarettes I do, so it was easy access for me to grab one. I thought that not smoking for a few days straight would help ease the desire for a cigarette, but it did just the opposite. My cravings are insane and my anxiety is through the roof. I feel like I gained a few pounds too from not smoking so frequently, so that really wigs me out as well, because I’m such a freak about my body and my weight. I really hope all of this gets easier these next few days, because I feel my anxiety building up in me like a big rubber ball and it’s seconds away from shooting off. I feel so irritable all the time. I know the easy way out would just be to go buy a pack of my beloved Marlboro Smooths, but I’ve made it close to five days with only two bummed cigarettes – I have to keep going. I could really use some love and encouragement, guys. These past few days have been so rough. Please, please keep your fingers and toes crossed for this job I interviewed for, it would mean a lot to me! Have a great Tuesday everyone! -Sarah
